Saturday, January 12, 2008

Twelve days of Christmas!

On the First day of Christmas - I got up and yawned and went back to sleep.

On the Second day of Christmas - I managed to haul myself out of bed at 11 am.

On the Third day of Christmas - I was on the road to Kerala.

On the Fourth day of Christmas - I was snoring in Pala.

On the Fifth day of Christmas - I was hauled out from bed and made to say Confession in Church. Unfortunately I had forgotten all my sins and got a severe penance. I will be saying penance for the rest of my life.

On the Sixth day of Christmas - *SNORE*

On the Seventh day of Christmas - My mom threatens to cut my nails if I don’t get up. I was up in a trice, at an approximate acceleration rate of 0 to 100 km/h in 4.2 seconds

On the Eighth day of Christmas - I was decorating a rather robust local tree of unknown lineage, in the tenuous hope that it will pass off as a Christmas tree. It didn’t. It looked like a rather robust tree of unknown lineage trying to pass itself off as a Christmas tree.

On the Ninth day of Christmas - Still no luck with my naadan Christmas tree. It looked the same, though a trifle defiant and with a lot less leaves and err…decidedly ugly.

On the Tenth day of Christmas - Got conned by my bro and cousin bros to watch a new super hit Malayalam movie at home. Two minutes into the movie and I was out of the room in a tearing hurry. It was a severely strainful and overly senti religious movie in which a decidedly Caucasian Joseph was taking his bleached blond pregnant wife Mary on a Poitou Donkey from Inn to Inn inquiring for rooms in chaste Malayalam. The guys thought it was damn funny and laughed like a pack of effeminate male hyenas. But the Donkey carrying the bleached blond Mary was damn cute.

On the Eleventh day of Christmas - I was tasting the various Christmas preparations my aunts made. I told a lot of lies that day. Damn. I should have kept Confession for this day!! The Star of the Day was " Rosamma aunty, your halwa is out of this world." It was. I don't think such horrible halwa exists anywhere on this Earth.

On the Twelfth day of Christmas i.e Christmas Day - Luxuria (extravagance), Gula (gluttony), Avaritia (greed), Acedia (sloth), Ira (wrath), Invidia (envy), and Superbia (pride)


"Twelve days of Christmas" is a Christmas carol.


Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...

LOL, I spent a good chunk of time trying to imagine what a pack of effeminate male hyenas would sound like. Thanks for the visual. :-)

ajay said...

reminded me of this Video. Kids would want to see it a zillion times.. and adults watch with them :))

mathew said...

you are lucky to spend 12 days of absolute laziness..cant help getting envious about it..even more nice is that u have folks who have time to spend whole 10 days to spend christmas time the old fashioned way..nowadays i see more it as a one day get together affair where people get back to their own busy world in quick time.

naadan christmas trees are found everywhere back home..
we even used to put playing cards in it to make it more colorful..;-P

sister Clara..your doin it all wrong..i warn you..

Amey said...

Wow... didn't know all those characters from Bible were Mallus. Then again, if Joseph was Mallu, he would be moving around on elephant or a boat, right? (Haven't heard of donkeys in Kerala, please feel free to disabuse).

So, what happened to the christmas(?) tree? Don't leave us in suspense...

stayingpositive said...

Silverine - By any chance, did you attend Jyothis' and Seetha's wedding in Pala on Dec 26? Rather, was it one among the several hundreds you seem to have attended?

You're suffering from wedding hang-over. You'll be fine :)

Hammy said...

You should just get a plastic tree. That ought to end your Christmas tree woes. Of course, you have to apply some kind of perfume on it to add realism; also, you need to take care nobody gets too close...

"Ya, Rosamma Aunty, that's a real tree. But I'm going to have to ask you to step behind the yellow line. And you, sir. No photographs. Oh, no you don't. You don't come near 50 yards of the tree."

"But Anj... 50 yards??? You've kept the tree right next to the door. How am I supposed to get into the house??"

"Nice try, dad. Ever hear of the back door? You should try it sometime."

silverine said...

bhel puri et al: :p

casper: The twelve day of Xmas is an Xmas carol and the first day actually begins on Xmas day :)

mathew: As long as people celebrate there is hope :) And sister Clara and her folks are all going to hell lol!!

Amey: It was s dubbed movie :p And the Xmas tree held its own defiantly! :(

stayingpositive: There were a zillion weddings that day and this post was more on the lines of an Xmas hangover. The weddings came later :P

hammy:lol!! Well we did have a very Xmasy Christmas tree inside, but decorating this tree is a sort of tradition :)

Zahid said...

Out of teh world halwa !!!And that being teh biggest lie...Remember if you have said anyting like 'No, Aunty..I would love to hav more but my tummy is already full'

Amey said...

Dubbed? wow.

And isn't "triumph over adversary" the true spirit of christmas? I mean, the guy manages reach every single home in the whole wide world, and manages to slide down (and up) the chimneys despite the size ;)

Amey said...

Make that "triumph over adversity"

CarbonMonoxide said...

Do you have a foto of that christmas tree ?

Jade said...

Haha! Saw a lot of trees like that while I was travelling around Kerala during Christmas! :D

Anonymous said...

very nice.. way better than having all those patridges in pear trees and geese and maidens and what not.. ;-)

Christmas is all about the food, isn't it? especially them rum-soaked cakes.. I should try baking one with just the rum - something tells me it will be an instant success :-)

Smilie! said...

on the 11th day - u were being so mean! ;)