Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Holy Molly!

I was reading this interesting piece of news the other day. Some scientists in the US err studied the mating behavior of the male Molly (sic) fish and found something the world never knew before about Molly fish. 'The male Molly fish doesn’t like to mate when being watched!'

Wow!! I could have told you that without any ‘study’!!

There are more interesting findings in this err study! According to the article, the male Molly fish shows scant regard to the lady he fancies, so that other males think that 'she is not good enough’ and thus be misled into ignoring her. This means all the other Molly males are also doing the same! Then how on earth do they manage to produce any baby Molly's at all!!

Which lead the researchers to the scientific conclusion that…

Male Molly fish are dumb!!

and that…

They will be extinct soon!

and further that…

all the lovely Molly ladies out there had better start looking elsewhere for love and babies! According to the scientists there are more then enough macho Trouts and Salmons out there, looking out for a sneaky affair and/or inter caste marriages!

And if they take the mallu route to naming their kids, we will soon have a lot of little Trolly's and Molmon’s gurgling joyfully in the streams (oblivious to the future when they grow up and go to ‘school’ with such names! )

Now if you are wondering why the researchers bothered to waste their time watching some dumb fishes and their unexciting procreational acts, then you will be surprised to know, that it was for the better understanding of the biological processes of marine life which will help researchers in stemming the decline in marine life in our water bodies.

Ha! Ha! Kidding! The real reason peoples was, *drum rolls* the study had grant of 14 million dollars!!!

Holy Molly! Now that’s a lot of money for watching fish porn err fish behavior don’t you think!!

Research anyone?

Original article here!

32 comments:

deviant said...

Lot of money for watching fish porn? I thought there wasn't any lovemaking going on - especially if somebody was watching...

I don't think the other mollies are buying it. I think they're whisking away still prettier female mollies into crevices in the corals and that's where all the action is happening.
In fact this may all just a charade to keep the pesky voyeuristic scientists of their collective Molly backs.

mathew said...

Jeez..I never ever thought it was going to be real..and the link shattered my faith in research scientists!!

On the other hand I was almost afraid as I read that I wouldnt be able to enjoy a decent "Fish Molly" in the near future!! Anyways I am starting a 'SAVE MOLLY' movement and needless to say generous contributions are invited....:-D

"Holy Molly! Now that’s a lot of money for watching fish porn err fish behavior don’t you think!!
" ROTFL!! kickass!!

| Balu | said...

14 frikkin million! $$$=D$$$
Do they want to research into mating habits of ants? They are all over my house.. However I would demand $$$$25 million though to compensate for the "trauma" I will have to undergo

Jackson said...

ah, the things people will do to justify research grant spending.. how does one go about nominating someone for an IgNobel prize??

Sriram said...

ha.. instead of spending it on fish porn.. they could give you and me one million.. heard that? ONE MILLION FOR EACH of the FIRST 14 commentators on this post! And we could stay happy and contented for the rest of our lives on the interest itself! Not to mention making other happier with charity :)

silverine said...

deviant: That was a good one!! Clever Molly's :p

mathew: "link shattered my faith in research scientists!!"
LOL!! Mine too!!! Save Fish Molee movement is a good research subject don't you think! Now if we could get a sucker err grant for that! :|

Balu: LOL!! That was funny, but a definite possibility I guess if you can find a sucker to fund you!! :p

Jackson: I didn't know there was so much money in research! :)

Sriram: Absolutely agree with you buddy. And being decent people we will blow it up in a lavish lifestyle instead of invading the privacy of the mole's err Mollys :p

scorpiogenius said...

Bless us and save us! Silverine...gem of a post..and gem of a research. I'm not surprised.. Americans can do the weirdest things.

I enjoyed your generalizations about the Molly males..lolz! And also the inter-caste marriage and mallu names..ROFL..;)

Simply great!

A few years back there was a feature about one of such a 'research' conducted in Kerala University. Topic: measuring the body surface area of an elephant! This one received an award; one which is given to the worst researches in the world..:)

Vivek Menon said...

LOL....(thought to myself) Don't laugh the next time I meet Molly Aunty and Salmon..oops Solomon Uncle [:(]

Philip said...

This may come as news to you, but the whole point of National Geographic's existence is capturing copulation on camera.

Also molmon would lead to gender identity crisis for the unlucky fish. You can either be Ancymol or Joemon - not both. :D

Rahul said...

"Fish Porn"

ROTFL!!!

Something fishy going on here!

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

:) To continue on the idea of fish going to schools:

Then they'll introduce a grading system for the schools and call it 'scales' :-|

You should take a look at the bar graphs in the full document! ROFL! =))
http://www.scribd.com/doc/4716953/Holy-Molly

And for the amusement of the general public:

http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/120056178/abstract?CRETRY=1&SRETRY=0

Full text will be provided on demand!

Amey said...

Some scientists in the US "studied" the mating behavior of the male Molly fish.
The male Molly fish doesn’t like to mate when being watched.
They will be extinct soon!


Am I the only one who is seeing a pattern emerging here? If yes, where's my 14 million?

Godwin said...

They (Researchers) being animal lovers are just fascinated to see the humanlike behaviors in other species...for which no consideration is given for the amount of money being spent on em..!!!

some of us are in awe of the findings made and some do make logical thinking... :-)
Nice Post!!!

Jim said...

... all the lovely Molly ladies out there had better start looking elsewhere for love and babies!
So looks like Silverine is advocating some inter-species luurve :) Naughty naughty...

n i t i n said...

with 14 million, you can actuallly make a Spongebob series, with only Mollies in it!!

No wonder my mollies never left any heir to my Aquarium!! But then I was actually busy watching VIP(the one with Pamela Anderson :P) then!!

Scew the scientists...you know the guys in IITs will also probably end up like this...sitting in a corner getting money, eating junk, n watching fish n bird porn, this time only because they can deisgn bots to do the same thing....

well..whatevea..!!

Anonymous said...

@Jim

FYI...Salmons and Trouts are a fish species like Mollys.

Safari Al said...

Reminds me of Chandler's shark porn!!!

:)

~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~ said...

I wish thy'd spent that money to find how dumb a president thy've elected. :)

hammy said...

Wow!! I could have told you that without any ‘study’!!

Anju, this isn't the first time people have paid for research done by people who have pure sand for brains.

"Have money, will spend" is the motto for several companies out there, and as long as they exist, researchers will pull up their labcoats and run to their doorsteps demanding money for proving stuff like 'Oxygen is required for survival', or 'People bleed when stabbed in the back with a butcher knife around 20-30 times."

Iyer Education said...

whale with molly is a good combo and would result in a Wholly owned (subsidiary) school of their own :)

not jim said...

@the anon with the info:
really? wow... we got a smart one here...
check out the brains on anon man...
hahahahaha

silverine said...

scorpiogenius: Thank you! :) I cant believe they actually measured the body surface area of an elephant! lol!! Too much!

Vivek: :p

Philip: I guess you are right. So Molly and Salmon is not such a good idea!! lol!!

Rahul: In fact nothing fishy is going on I feel! :)

Karthik: ROFL!! I cant believe they have graphs for that!!! These researchers are crazy!!!! Or maybe not! Guess they are the smart fellahs! Sigh!

Amey: err I wrote the post for a share of the moolah too! Don't give me competition now! :|

godwin: :) Thank you!

Jim: Look who has put two and two together and come up with 'naughty' ;)

nitin: I think your Mollys were too busy ignoring the females! lol!

Safari Al: I remember that scene. Very funny!

Abhi: I wish!!!

Hammy: I guess, unless you don white coats and do an elaborate and expensive research and prove that knife can cut, with experiments and graphs, it is just conjecture! :|
:p

Iyer Education: That was a brilliant!! :))

Amey said...

OK, we will make do with 7 mill each, how's that?

And I guess the answer to the question "how on earth do they manage to produce any baby Mollys" lies in the fact that nobody thought of doing a study before now ;)

Safari Al said...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Mollies are f***ed up
And the researchers too.

The MEANDERthal man said...

They'll be extinct coz of Fish Molly :) nothing else! :D btw MOLMON was killer! :)

Jairam said...

He he he,

Molly, Trout, Salmon, Mrout, Malmon, all of these sound so much like Malayalee Christian names !!!

PS: To be taken in good humor only. Sorry to offend anybody.

Cheers....Jam

Mind Curry said...

lol..this was too good! couldnt stop laughing.

no wonder they say the porn industry..err..the research industry is worth billions.

i never realized sal-mon was from kerala

:))

silverine said...

Amey: Deal! :)

Safari Al: That just sucks! :p

Jairam: That is exactly what I was trying to say dear!

Mind Curry: Sal-Mon lol!! Thank you! :)

Rukmani Ram said...

Is that what I lost my funding to???

Roop said...

i wonder why i quit science. :!

HMRI said...

ROTFL
U my lady are entertaining, got to your blog hopping through numerous others.. Am impressed and hooked.. Keep typing

Akhil S Behl said...

hey.. i have been following your blog for sometime now.. both officially and literally.. i think you are really good at this!

and "fish porn" good! :)