Friday, January 18, 2008

Driving on the edge!

Dear Aladdin’s Genie,

Salaam Aleikum!

Hope you are doing fine in that Lamp and all is well with you and your own. The purpose of this mail is obvious. I need a boon. I know lots of people ask you for favors, but mine is the least cumbersome and most easily grantable of all... I promise!! Please hear me out before you delete my mail.

This month I am driving the car pool. And every day for the 45 minutes ride to office in the morning and evening this is what I have to hear in the car!

When I look into your eyes Sankaraaaaaaaaabharanamuuuuuuuu I can see a love restrained Sankaraabharanamuuuu My dil goes mmm My dil goes mmm Muthukal Sirikum Nilathil Thittikkum Soni de nakhre sone lagade meinu, soni de nakhre sone lagadeee But darlin' when I hold you Damn all these beautiful girls They only wanna do you dirt They'll have you suuuuuuicidal, suuuuuuuicidal Mrutheeya leni sudhaa laasa swargamu Sankaraaaaaaaaabharanamuuu Istamalleda inikku Istamalleda bum chik bum chik boom boom boom nanna style berene nanna style berene Sankaraaaaaaaaabharanamuuuuuuuu.......

The above cacophony emanates from the five other inmates in the car who wear their headphones and then insist on singing out loud what they hear in the privacy of their ears.

So all I ask for, is an additional accessory to be built into all the walkman, MP3 players, IPods etc of this a pair of Bionic arms perhaps, that activates itself the moment someone puts on their ear phones and CLAMS THEIR MOUTH SHUT REAL HARD!!!

Thanking you in anticipation,

I remain yours sincerely,

A victim of audio molestation! (repeated assaults)

And dear peoples, if you see a black SUV on the Indiranagar flyover between 8:30 am and 9 am from Mondays to Fridays, I suggest you stop till it passes the flyover, cos one of these days I am taking the SUV over. There is only so much I can tolerate! *sob*

Have a nice weekends folks!


Anonymous said...

And here I am thinking hearing one sided mobile conversation of others in a car is bad. I was wrong - you have it much worse.

My deepest condolences...

Hammy said...

Ah the sounds of mindless cacophony. It's not coincidence that the word has 'phony' built right into it, you know...

If you can't lick em, join them. (As a matter of fact, even if you CAN lick them, I suggest you don't. That's just plain disgusting.)

Start singing yourself. Loud enough to break into their 'personal ear space' above their earphones. What matters is that you be loud enough.

Deepti said...

I can absolutely relate to your predicament. I n my case its even worse. I travel by office bus, and As soon as they get in people group themselves based on their states and then its like "Learn X language in one hour" course. Where the conversations are peppered with all the techie words for the added effect. Have you ever heard File systems explained in telugu .. I have, and trust me it really grates on your nerves .. especially if you are going back home after a real long day ... :D

Karthik said...

They definitely put the music systems at atrociously high levels of volume in the cars on the roads of Bangalore. Guess its all part of the GenX style ..hehe

Dhanya said...

Why don't u also get a music system and sing with them until you get the boon fulfilled ;)

Zahid said...

Frenz!!! youknow what happpened after this. The genie came to her and.....

Genie : Silverine !!! Am I glad to hear form you?

Silverine : Genie Bhai !!! Salaam !!!

G : You see the cost of livin in todays world na...Itz so high.Yesday an income tax officer raided my lamp and he got out with more than he is supposed to take away.

S : Oh my god !!

G : And they are asking me to pay teh house tax too....

S : Oh my !! Oh my !! not you too

G : And they have also penalised me of $123456789 for not payin all these years !!!

S : oh my !!CAn i help you?

G : Yes..I heard that u are a great writer. So please write my case in newspapers, magazines and publish it for all to read?Also put up han written posters all along the country !!!And ....

S : Sure!!!....But Waht about my walkman accesory?

G : You see i am a primitive genie and am not well informed of all these developments

S : Then..Huh?? cant you help me?

G : Wait !!! I think i can do it for a gramophone !!

S : what??

G : Yes, I can. All u hav to do is convince your friends to carry a portable gramophone and listen form it instead of these i-pods !!

S : Err... I think i can put up with audio molestation khudahafiz.

G : And what about my case??? you will write on it na?

S : YOu know !! I am a modern woman and am not well-informed about how to write a letter and publish it... The max i can do is type on a keyboard and put up on my blog, to make a genie sized joke out of you

*And silverine with anger shuts up the lamp*

Zahid said...

Hey silverine !!!!

Loved the post !!! So this long comment !!! Have a good read !!! and have a better weekend !!!

silverine said...

Zahid: That was hilarious!! Poor Genie!

Balanarayan NT said...

I' give u an idea.. before walkman was invented people used to carry around their tape recorders to isten to songs. i suggest u do that as well as in this case u get to blast music! That will sure shake u ur cab mates!

silverine said...

Binny: Thanks buddy! I call it "Death Mental" music.

hammy: I have to drive you see, so cannot put on ear phones and screech...sadly!

deepti: I so know what you are talking about! It's as terrible!

karthik: Well I was talking about the geniuses in the car pool who use Walkman and sing along with it ...sigh.

balu: It will have no effect on them. They have their ears covered with their ear phones you see :(

Amey said...

Can't help but think the mail would have been better addressed to Apple people ;)

BTW, the way you started the mail, I almost expected to see, "If you don't send this mail to 10 genies in next 10 minutes..." at the end.

Alameen said...

Audio molestation... hahahha
Reminds me about my first project party where every1 compelled me to sing a song.. Music is not my cup of tea. I tried to escape but with no chance..

Later this got escalated to senior managers and I had to sing my favourite malayalam song...

Believe me, it was full silence for a long time... hahah

I second Balu in his suggestion.. You can just let them know your frustration in such cute ways

Happy weekend..


Unknown said...

Be thankful of the fact that you don't have any death metal fanatics in your SUV!
You could have been subjected to something like this in addition to the current cacaphony...

"Through my anatomy, dwells another being
Rooted in my cortex, a servant to its bidding
Brutality now becomes my appetite
Violence is now a way of life
The sledge my tool to torture
As it pounds down on your forehead"

Not to add this would be sung as a growl or a roar! :-)

Unknown said...

Better still, may you could start singing above mentioned! Will do the effect of a threat as well!

maxdavinci said...

hilarious! loved the 'audio molestation' phrase

Anonymous said...

berry phunny!!! :-))

mathew said...

what wrong with that..what happened to freedom of expression!!

i remember once when i joined my current company..during the intial HR training days..i came in late for a class..and the punishment was to do what the other attendees in the class asked for..

To my of my "gracious" friend announced to the other puneite mumbaite crowd in the class about 'this' offender was infact a talented kerala university winner in classical music..and all the morons believed this honorable bud of mine..

Turned out to be classical example of "embarassment"...i sang few lines of kaakee kaake koodu evide before some passed out..and some froze in shock..!!

ever since i know how to threaten people..never underestimate audio molesters!! term btw.. ;-P

Tony Sebastian said...

nice blog u got here :)
fellow mallu ;)

silverine said...

Amey: ha ha! That would have angered the genie and watch out you will have Apple fans out to get you!! :p

alameen: Ah we finally have our very own blogger audio molesters in you and Mathew :p Way to go!

Rockus: Nothing i repeat, Nothing can drown out Sankaraaaabharanamuuuu...sigh! And me singing wil have no effect as they wear their ear phones. And I will be booked by the traffic cops for audio molestation :(

maxdavinci: Thanks buddy :)

Annie: Thanks dudette!

doofus: Thank you :)

mathew: And you join the elite rank of 'Blogger audio molesters' with Al Ameen with that disclosure :p

the meanderthal man: Thanks for dropping by fellow mallu :)

Neer said...

indiranagar eh?? thats cool!! me too! though neither flyin over nor SUVinggg... jus plain old good for my health walk to work!! :p