Thursday, February 25, 2010

Return in kind

Sometimes, little gestures of thoughtfulness from your colleagues and friends or even strangers, leaves a deep impression on you. Even the smallest act of kindness reminds you of the goodness that exists in this world and your faith in humanity is restored. Your day begins to look good and you feel a spring in your step and a smile taking possession of your lips.

One such story touched my heart today. My friend who sits a little further way from me was telling me of her colleague who moves out of their shared work area to attend to her mobile calls. This ensures that my friend is not disturbed as her colleague needs to settles issues with training vendors, which necessitates shouting, screaming, abusing and not so kind references to their ancestors.

Now the kind colleague walks out of her work area and shouts, screams, abuses and makes not so kind references to the vendors my work area! So thoughtful no?

We are planning on reciprocating the nice gesture by taking her mobile, and flushing it down the toilet. Friday looks rosy already!

Have a great weekend folks!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Driving under the influence of stupidity

An intern engineer in our office requested for leave today as soon as he came to office . The conversation between him and the boss went like this.

Intern: Sir, I need a half day’s leave today.
Boss: Why?
Intern: Ahem, I need to meet someone.
Boss: You can meet him or her on weekend!
Intern: No Sir, I have to meet him today at 12 ‘o’ clock sharp.
Boss: You meeting a doctor?
Intern: No!
Boss: Prospective in laws? Heh heh
Intern: No!
Boss: Then who?
Intern: The Police inspector Sir.

Boss picks himself up the floor and glares at him.

Boss: What did you do?
Intern: Err nothing serious!
Boss: Ha! Eve teasing yeah?
Intern: No Sir.
Boss: Ragging?
Intern: No Sir.
Boss (irritably): Then what is it?
Intern: *Gulp* drunken driving Sir! But I swear I wasn’t drinking….

His reply was lost in the wind as he sped down the hallway with a furious Boss in hot pursuit. I haven't seen the boss this livid ever! That was the last we saw of them today!

p.s. if you are wondering why the Boss acted the way he did, here is why. The Boss had told the Intern to take his car home yesterday night you see. He was going to be dropped home by his friend after a party. Intern lives close to the Boss’s house.

That reminds me I am in charge of booking a conference room for the dart game. Gotta go. Have a nice week folks!

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Tiger love

Alarmed by the rapid decline in the Tiger population in our country, the Indian government decides to send a Minister to China, the largest consumer of Tiger meat. According to reports, not a single part of the Tiger is wasted in China. The Indian Minister (IM) and his Aide are given a warm welcome in China and the Chinese Premier (CP) meets him in his office the next day.

CP (bowing): Welcome to the most glorious, democratic, progressive, shining and the most rapidly developing country in the world.
IM: Thank you for the lengthy err warm welcome Premier. I am delighted to be in your beautiful country and honored by your graciousness to give me an audience.
CP (bowing again): Thank you! We will start our meeting with some Chinese delicacies. I hope you like it.
IM: Chinese cuisine is our national cuisine heh heh.
CP: Then you will like this special soup.
IM: What soup is this?
CP (beaming): Tigers tail soup!
IM: What!!!! Err I mean thank you. It is err delicious ewww.
CP (proudly): I knew you will like it. And now tell me honorable minster, what brings you to our happy country.
IM: Well… it’s like this. As you may know the Tiger is our national animal…
CP: But of course. We love the Indian Tiger.
IM (hopefully): You do?? That’s a relief to hear. I am here to discuss about the Tiger.
CP (holding his palm up). Wait, first you must taste this signature dish. It was made in memory of the late revolutionary Pin Wung Wao.
IM (nervously) : I am afraid to ask what it is.
CP: Tiger rib stir fry!!! C’mon try it!!
IM (mournfully): Well I might as well try it…Sigh.
CP: You were saying something about the Tiger.
IM (brightening up): Yes! We Indians love our national animal and now want to do something concrete for its welfare.
CP: That is nice. We in China welcome such a move.
IM: You do? That is very heartening news indeed!!
CP: We Chinese men get our ahem “drive” from Tiger testicle soup you know *wink* *wink*
IP: Heh heh I know. *sob*
CP: We would hate to lose that hahahahaha!
IM(desperately): I need some water.
CP: No no no!!! That will spoil your appetite!
IM: For what? Wait, why am I asking this question. :(
CP: For Tiger Manchurian in hot garlic sauce!!
IM: *sob* Is there anything else for Lunch?
CP: Of course. There is Tiger head schezwan, Tiger belly Cantonese, Tiger lung wung pao, Tiger neck stew and……
IM (looking green): I am not feeling too well….
CP: ...and Tiger paw fried, Hunan style.
IM (fainting): *swoon* *thud*
CP : Get some Chinese smelling salts quick!
Aide (sarcastically): Thank god you people spare the Tiger’s feces.
CP (proudly): We use it too! It is called Chinese Smelling Salts.
IM (sitting up bolt upright): I am suddenly feeling better. I think I need to lie down…in my bed at home in New Delhi.
CP: Wait!!
IM (wild eyed): Now what!!
CP (smiling gently): You cannot leave without a souvenir!!!
IM (miserably): I will not ask what it is.
CP: We have a Tiger nail locket and a Tiger Skin coat made especially for you.
IM: I shall not faint. I shall not faint. I shall not faint.
Aide: You better not! *snicker*
IM (faintly): Thank you Premier. This has been a most fruitful discussion. Bye!

According to a Press Release by the Foreign Ministry, the talks failed due to "miss-communication". The next round of talks will be held in Chinese.

Have a nice week folks! An enjoy da music - Fireflies

Friday, February 05, 2010

The no fail diet!

I sat at the cafeteria table and looked mournfully at my lunch. There was rice, fish curry, cabbage thoran and some other stuff in my lunch carrier. It looked most uninspiring. I looked up to scan the Cafeteria menu, hoping to find something more interesting to eat. Just then my colleague joined me on the table and gingerly placed a steaming bowl on the table. My mouth watered at the sight. His lunch looked scrumptious!!

Colleague looked at my lunch, barely able to take his eyes off the tiffin carrier and its contents. He swallowed hard and looked at me.

“You going to eat that?” he said pointing to my tiffin.
“No.” I replied. “What about you?” I asked looking greedily at his lunch.
“ I don’t feel like eating this.” he said making a face.
“Can I have your lunch?” I asked hopefully. “You can have mine if you want.” I said drooling.
“Sure!!!” he exclaimed grabbing my tiffin carrier like an eagle swooping up its prey.

The next half hour, there was pin drop silence at the table as we devoured each others lunch without a word. A satisfied “ahhh” escaped my lips as I polished the last remnants off my plate. Colleague drank the payasam with great relish and closed his eyes in sheer ecstasy.

Then he got up to wash the tiffin while I went and dumped the Styrofoam plate in which the cafeteria people had served his Maggie noodles, in the dustbin.

My belly sighed in deep contentment.

Colleague handed over the clean tiffin, thanked me and we went our separate floors.

Note to self: Next time ask colleague his name.

Don’t look at me like that folks!!! How else will I ping him and catch him for lunch? Hmmphh

Have a nice weekend friends. TGIF!

Monday, February 01, 2010

Brotherhood lurve

My mom was watching a cookery programme with great interest yesterday.

“Anju come here, see this” she said with a look that means she has spotted something interesting.

I wandered over to the sofa where she was sitting and saw a Chef teaching a young guy to cook on the television.

“He is teaching that guy to cook so that he can prepare a meal for his brother on his birthday!’ she gushed.

“What’s the big deal ma!” I said getting up.

‘Sit down!” she said pulling me down to the sofa. “He is making salads. You like salad recipes no?”

I sat and watched as the Chef prepared some mouth watering salads and salad dressings and laid them out in pretty dining ware.

He then looked at the camera and said “And now we will let Paul invite John for lunch.” Shaking Paul’s hand and bidding him goodbye the Chef walks away. The camera pans to the door and ‘John' walks in. My eyes pop out. He is white. Paul is American Chinese.

“So sweeet!” cooed my mom smiling indulgently at the TV, head tilted to one side.

“Err ma” I said quickly. "I think something is burning in the kitchen!"

“Tch tch” said my mom, getting up and hurrying towards the kitchen. Splits seconds later, below the picture of John and Paul came the legend. John and Paul, Life Partners.

By the time mom came back from the kitchen, they had finished looking dreamily into each others eyes while battling the desire to make wild passionate love.

“What did I miss?” asked my mom.

“Oh nothing” I said dismissively, trying not to show the utter relief on my face. “He surprised his "brother" with the lunch.” I said avoiding her eyes.

“Awwwww” said my mom again, totally bowled over by the scene.

"Ewwww" went I, in my mind totally nauseated by the scene.

I left her gushing at the TV...when the program ended.

That was a close call! *phew*

There should be some control over what is shown on televisions these days. We cannot let our parents watch such shows unsupervised!! It will corrupt their tender old minds! What if I wasn’t around? I demand some answers from the government as a concerned child, NOW!