Wednesday, March 01, 2006

An enriching Xperience

Sometime last year my Sysadmin installed Windows XP in my comp. It would make my life very easy he declared. Apparently Windows XP will provide rich, wireless network support, helping me to simply and easily connect to wireless networks and it is very intelligent too. I was so happy. It would be so helpful to someone who uses only MS Word.

I had a first hand experience of its ‘advanced features’ when I tried to shut down the comp for the very first time since it was installed:

Windows XP (WXP): There are other users connected to your computer. Shutting down your computer will make you lose your hair and some more. Continue with shut down?
Me: Yes
WXP: Are you sure?
Me: Yes
WXP: Lock kiya jaye?
Me: Shut down you dumb thing!!!
WXP: Galath jawaab. Try shutting down the computer again when you have learnt some manners.
Me: Shut down or I pull the plug!
WXP: Oh noo, I am so scared hee hee
Me: grrrrr !!

I use the Windows Task Manager to shut down the comp and after taking a generous swig of Gelusil called my Sysadmin for a refresher course.

Sysadmin: So what’s wrong or shall I say what’s right with your comp hee hee.
Me: What an awesome joke man!!! You are hilarious! I am having some problems with WXP.
Sysadmin: Thank you, thank you it’s very original you know.
Me: Amazing joke!!! I am unable to shut down the comp.
Sysadmin: heh heh I am a funny man.
Me: Sure you are...now I need you to check my OS.
Sysadmin: I try to make people smile.
Me: I know, but my WXP is giving me a lot of grief.
Sysadmin: Windows XP? I have no clue. Now lemme go share the joke with the boys heh heh.
Me: @%#^&@*%#+ !!!!

WXP has a feature that keeps a eye on the going ons in my PC and generates regular hi-tech reports to be sent to the Microsoft guys for prompt action.

She blogs at work. (AHA!!!)
She downloads baby pictures (yuck)
She is copying recipes from Tarla Dalal site (what a loser)
She is sticking her tongue out at me (pffft)

And then it will open this small window every irritating two second or so and ask "Shall I send this error report to Microsoft? It will be absolutely confidential. You will not be sued; we will just use this information to make your pirated WXP experience more pleasurable." More gelusil.

I have WXP at home too. Now my UPS is on the blink and gives me exactly one minute to shut down the comp after the power goes out. But WXP is so advanced that it will shut down the comp only after weighing the pros and cons of the said action.

WXP: The DSL connection is active. Would you like to continue with Shut Down?
Me: Yes
WXP: hmmm...
Me: What are you doing ?!?!
WXP: I am thinking...hmmm
Me: Shut down for gods sake!!!
WXP: hmmm.... *blink* (battery power out)
Me: @%#^&@*%#+ !!!!

I think I need further training to build on my limited knowledge of the Windows XP operating system and the skilled facets of XP's functionality and features.

I am now undergoing rigorous training at the "Advanced Workshop in Anger Management" being conducted by the Windows XP Users Association.

114 comments:

Ganja Turtle said...

so much depends
upon

posting the first
comment

ahead of all
the others.

silverine said...

@GT: :)) you are waxing lyrical, thanks for that first comment!!

Sreejith Narayanan said...

This is just the beginning I guess.. After somedays, the WXP will start bugging u by trying to connect to internet for some very important security updates. It cribs as though its life is at stake unless updated. :)

and any token of appreciation for the third comment? ;)

Safari Al said...

WinXp sucks. period.

~ sAn ~ said...

ouch!
U did the same mistake. According to MS new OS release docs. upgraded ur machine to twice its capacity (includes CPU clock, memory, disk space) before switching to the next windows version. But what do u know? U r the one who wanted to cars painten in pink witu ur doggie face in NFS :P

Mind Curry said...

all in all i think windows xp is a reliable and better OS. but yes, all those funny and 'bug'ging things you described are so relatable! i just keep sending all the error reports generated,which is like 1-10 per day, hoping MS someday will get flooded with them and then disable the feature.

and i have to tell, you have written such a boring and irritating matter in a very hilarious way. (hint hint..book book)

Neil Padayatty said...

I remember seeing a video of the win98 launch. Bill Gates himself was doing the demo for his product. Bill Gates cracks some joke and looks back at the PC, and lo and behod, there's that all familiar error message in the blue screen. You should've seen ol' Bill's face!
If that's what happens to Papa Gates himself, I don't think, you should be expecting too much.

DD said...

Hold your horses..there is worse stuff comin! Winodws Vista might be launched pretty soon...multiple features, but..more than multiple bugs! But then MS is threatening to launch Vista for the past god-knows-how-many-years. Lets hope the Vista project is scrapped :)

rocksea said...

lol. nicely written.

anyways xp has been loyal to me since that cold december 2001.

Khozem said...

:)) very well written .. i dont know whether the tears flowin outta my eyes was for ur Painful eXP or due to senseless laughing....
actually, W XP isnt that bad. u just have 2 know how as 2 stop services which u dont need (ie. bout 80% of that are offered). :)

Alexis Leon said...

Another masterpiece. I think I will have to take take some medicine to stop laughing before reading your posts. Mind Curry, yar, please suggest something :-). My entire body is aching and half the people in the house think I have gone mad ;-)

Regarding the error reports,I too send all of them to Microsoft.

browser said...

I believe they MS also releases the book "Windows for Dummies". You see it's a marketing strategy. :-)

calvin said...

Dude , sorry gal , WXP is one of the best things the MS guys has brought out for the Desktop PC user. From an administrator's point of view , its a blessing since an admin can control it any way he likes and can make it much more secure than MS's previous offering. But of course since it is very intelligent it thinks that it is God and unless you prove it otherwise it will continue to behave as it does now. Just you wait for a few more weeks. It will ask you to connect to Windows update for some downloading real important security updates. You better let it do that because otherwise your system will become ( if it is already not ) a playground for umpteen viruses and will be welcoming intruders ( peeping toms in ur workplace who will want to read your mail , steal your Tarla Dalal recipes and probably expect to find some dark secret of yours kept deep inside C:\Windows\.... Dude I know , i have caught people at it) . You could go on and on griping about WXP but it is good.

Mind Curry said...

@ alexis - hehe..i am laughing non stop imagining you doing the same..funny..medicine..for those who find it difficult to laugh we have a gas that might work, and now silverine's posts, but for laughter..hmm..no wonder they say laughter is the best medicine.

we must all thank brand silverine for the free service.

(tsk tsk..free!!..wait until her book comes out and i do my bit!)

>|' ; '| said...

heh! u shud knw hw to tweak win xp. i think tht wxp is pure heaven compared to win98. of course, most gamers are very familiar with the tweaks...cos of the continuous piracy experience:D get ur bro's help. he might knw. but then again he might seek revenge for the Esc episode and leave ye at the doors of hell, where bill gates waits with win98 machines :)

Ganja Turtle said...

@alexis - and here I was thinking geos the only doc around...I hope mindcurry's prescriptions are...er...not as stimulating as geos are...;-)

Prmod Bafna said...

Lol Xp sucks! and what a wonderful way to put it! hahaha! Infact it can be recommended to be used in the advanced workshop of anger management too! :p

silverine said...

@aashik: You won't believe it but I was waiting for your comment :)) Reason number one: you are my sysadmin's lost long twin brother lol
Haven't you read "The ABC of a Gals PC' post?

1.What is C:\Windows\.... is it a new shade of lipstick? LOL
2.My deep dark secrets are kept in My Pictures and anyone who peeps into it risks death by sugar induced diabetic coma :))
3. My comp is very user friendly er...I mean the User is friendly so many people access it for various reason but mostly to copy the pics of puppies, kittens, flowers, landscape and paste it via Network into their comps he he
4. I have an email service that goes out regulary saying "Fresh arrivals at C:/My Documents/My Pictures" and guess what? There are more guys than gals availing of these *gasp* services.
5.WXP is already bullying me into downloading important security updates :((

I hate WXP....and I suspect the feeling is mutual !!! :)

silverine said...

@sreejith:I forgot to mention the cribbing. But as Aashik mentioned it thinks it is God and needs to be reminded that it is not :))
p.s. A special thanks for the 'second' comment :)
@Safari AL: High five dude!!!
@San: Ouch!! Is that why my comp is so slow? It positively crawls :(
@mind curry: windows xp is a reliable and better OS This was the famous last words of my Sysadmin before he checked into NIMHANS for an Anger Management Course against Users" lol
p.s. the book will come out provided WXP doesnt hang my MS Word as it did while I was writing this post :))
@Neil: I heard about the incident. Still cracks me up :)) and Papa gates was way too funny ha ha
@DD: Worse stuff comin?:( What could be worse than WXP? But then we will wait for Windows Vista. Who said life is perfect? :))
@Poison: actually my bro did tweak it but it still gives some troubles.
@Rocksea: Good for you, what do you do? Treat it like God? Do let us know the secret :)
@Maximus : Thank you! Hey I must know how to disable the services that I don't want!!
@Alexis: Thank you so very much Alexis. I see a fellow sufferer here. I will also send these reports so that Microsoft gets fed up and stops the service.

silverine said...

@mind curry: Spoken like a true manager, but my book will always be free for Alexis. Hope you won't sue me for that lol
@Browser: 'Windows for dummies' will be followed by Support Group for WXP Users I guess :))
@Ganja Turtle: As you said at Geo's post, mind curry is the doc while Geo is the quack :))
@xfreakx: Thank you :)

calvin said...

LOL

well I have read the post and for a minute I forgot that i was talking to a severely Computer Challenged person = normal user . oops sorry for that. But know that there are far more stable , intelligent and obedient ( yes its true , they wil do anything within their range to obey ur commands ) beasts your sysadmin might put in for you if u complain too much about WXP. They are called Linux and Unix and they have umpteen avatars. But then you would start complaining about the system pouring out too much info and obeying all of ur ( even stupid ) commands without even showing a "Shall I delete all ur landscapes , Baby pics etc ? " dialogue should you accidently do so .WXP is a blessing for the hordes of people like you. Dont make it hate you . :) Believe me . As Mohanlal sez in the movie "Company" - "hamaare keral mein ek kahavath hai - Kannu illathppozhaanu athinte vila manassilaakunnathu"

This is for the rest of the folks who sez WXP sucks . I used to hate Microsoft too , but hey guys why are still using it ? Switch to any of the umpteen and ( equally good or better ) choices than rant about it. Or try to do something about it . Anyways i read this today Why Windows vista wont suck

And of course all this is said in good humour .. let us dont start a flame war here .

calvin said...

ugh ! my English sucks !

silverine said...

@aashik: We are all compulsive grumblers. So if you are going to defend WXP and MS then we poor souls will have nothing to rant about LOL

p.s. how much is Microsoft paying you for this? ha ha ha

Lalit Singh said...

generous swig of Gelusil
Guess by now you have memorized the names of some of the medicines..Whoever said submitting fake medical bills wont help u much?

Workshop in Anger Management
lols

Yet again... very humurous!!

calvin said...

Oh they pay me about 2 billion per post .

:D

I dont use WXP at Home :))

Supremus said...

You use pirated wXp at work - tch tch! bad girl :P :P.

I love windows XP - it is so wierd, just like me :D. I can identify with your "shutting" down process....Have seen so many issues like that :D

This was hilarious! You got a humor flair buddy

Suyog

Shriedhar said...

funny :))

naveen said...

So few errors!!! u r really licky!!! U should see my system!! windows is good 4 nothing!! and i dont know linux!! i beleive this is were the gr8 policies of gandiji lik ahimsa and "Kshama" comes 2 play!!!oops!!another eooro...need 2 go

Mind Curry said...

ofcourse its free for all loyal bloggers and fans of yours (that ensures my free copy too

"anger management"!! rofl. loved that movie..hmm..i better watch my words, lest i be sent to NIMHANS too.

Ganja Turtle said...

waxing lyrical...naaah...that wasnt me - that was the ghost of william carlos williams...

XPacade - Noun - The successful act of opening & closing WINDOWS XP without being forced to send an error update to MS. Though confused with commonly used word "escapade", the former is distinguished by its amazing ability to provoke profanity in 5 tongues at very short notice.

silverine said...

@Lalit: Thank you :)
@aashik: Just as I thought :))
@Supremus: I have a licensed version at work and a pirated one at home :)
@Sridhar: Thanks :)
@Naveen: It does bug you with it's umpteen features.
@mind curry: With wXp we are all heading for sure towards NIMHANS!! lol
@Ganja Turtle:XPacade sounds like a dream !! Where can I get a patch before that patch on my scalp spreads further? profanities in 5 languages! Guilty!!! :))

>|' ; '| said...

well...some ppl say bikes suck till they learn to ride one ;)

Arti Honrao said...

;))
U download baby pictures :))
Would u pls pass on the recipes pls :p

Nice post ...
[I am tired of saying this fer every post... I think I shd use some other term ... :-? How abt JHAKKAS!]


GBU
Arti

Fleiger said...

Well, now you know why it is called Windows XP :) (I wonder about Vista)

I had the misfortune to have Windows-2000 on my machine during my training. I used to press the start button, then go get some coffee, and chat to my friends on my way back. By the time I came back in 20 minutes, the machine was just about to show the final symbol in the system tray. Compard to this, XP is like a rocket compared to walking.

And, I don't care about people connected to my machine. It's their problem, not mine ;)

MeesaMadhavan said...

Which membership do you have for Tarla Dalal site? If it is a gold or silver membeship, please confidentially share it with this poor blog reader.
P.S: It was a good post
MM

silverine said...

@Poison: Believe me I can teach you somethings about WXP that even you don't know about ;)
@Arti: Thank you dear :) What recipes do you want?
@Fleiger: WXP does load fast. But then it hangs every window I leave open for more than five minutes. It has a virulent hatred against YM and if you do more than a double click on the YM icon it disappears. *groan* It even hangs YM when I close it. Then YM remains on the monitor for the whole world to see LOL I have to use Windows Task Manager again to shut it down. Believe me I use the WTM so much that it recently went on strike demanding paid vacations and better working conditions :))
@MM:Thank you. Nice to see you back!! :) I have a Gold membership that I 'share' with the entire female and some menfolk in my office LOL But it due for renewal now :(

Sujit said...

Yeah, you need that pretty much.. ha ha.. nice though on win xp!

Fleiger said...

YM hangs? And that too, in office?? WXP should be sentenced to rigorous life imprisonment, without bail. When will they know that some activities (like chatting) are supposed to be done in private.

And as for WTM, I think a "Most Valuable Team Player" award is in order.

Oh, and btw, some people are beyond making fun of. The last person who joked about his SysAdmin is piecing together his data for last 10 years. Bit by bit. Something to remember ;)

browser said...

Had been at one of the 6 Sigma conventions last year and this dude from MS was presenting a paper on how they made MS Outlook error free (0 errors as measured by MS)! That was worth a laugh for a few days. Guess these guys live at another level.

rocksea said...

i just keep it clean ;)

Jim said...

Haha, thanks for lightening up my evening!

"Advanced Workshop in Anger Management"
- also known as "learn Gnome/Linux in 30 minutes" :)

One of these days I too shall be first to post a comment. mera number bhi aayega...

browser said...

Q on Tara Dalal. Have the recepies come out well? Are they easy?

Kusum Rohra said...

tarla dalal recipes huh! why didnt i think of that?

Great Post! :)

monu said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
monu said...

LOL

if u r having this much problems with windws XP ..then what u r gonna do when Windows Vista will be released.

Geo said...

>>Believe me I can teach you somethings about WXP that even you don't know about ;)


Like what?

Hidden red roses and hearts from start menu?

Pink colored control panel with laced border?

A teddy bear poping up with your new mail? Or is that a dove flying in from the right top corner of the screen?

A theme with peach colored error screens and lilac text on it?

TheGayVirile said...

hope all this is about WXP "ONLY". but
still can't help myself from appreciating u ,for presenting it in such a humourous way. u r right "it is very intelligent too".i hope i've made myself abstruse!!

Dewaker Basnet said...

windows XP...remember the IT mela when Billu bhai had come down to Blore..so much of pandemonium in the microsoft stall...their new game, their this, their that....if someone knows the fate of the game developed by Msoft please gimme an update..better if I could get a cracked game itself;)

Dewaker Basnet said...

talking about tarla dalal..the other day i was browsing the web fr want of some recipes that i could try at home...bloody every website is a paid one..esp. these big guys...tch...

Muppala Suryaprakasha Borthakur said...

Is Tarla Dalal a veg. only site?

After suffering through the previous versions of Windows (3.1 onwards), Windows 2000 and XP are Mannah from Heaven. Hardly ever see any blue screen anymore.
-Muppala Suryaprakasha Borthakur

silverine said...

@Sujit: Thanks :)
@Fleiger:Why do you think I post under a pen name. It is so therapeutic to take pot shots at the Big Boss, HR and Sysadmin :))
@Browser: Error free? Now that's like saying we are God!!!
@rocksea :)
@Jim: Thank you. *hint* I usually post on a Tuesday or Wednesday :)
@browser: They come out great!!!
@Kusum: Subscribe to their free trial service and then copy paste a storm in 24 hours LOL
@Monu: DD has already dropped the bombshell about Vista :((
@Dewakar: try bawarchi.com, pachakam.com, sanjeevkapoor.com(limited) and the sify cookery page.
@intruder; Thank you :)
@MSB: Yes, it is a veg only site :)
@Geo: Wow! Hidden red roses and hearts from start menu,Pink colored control panel with laced border,A teddy bear poping up with your new mail, a dove flying in from the right top corner of the screen.A theme with peach colored error screens and lilac text on it!!!!
I MUST HAVE THIS!!!!

p.s. did you think this was tweaking the system? Sad !

ashish said...

mailed you something... hope that helps :|

>|' ; '| said...

hehe...who wants xp...i luv win95 :D

>|' ; '| said...

geo has a very fertile imagination...i am almost sure he is the next bill gates :P

>|' ; '| said...

btw padippichu thaa..enlighten this poor ignoramus ;;) :D

arvin said...

hmm... shutting down seems to be the only thing you do with your comp.

Alexis Leon said...

@GT: Geo's specialization is in a different area and we graduated from the same college, taking the same courses. I am well aware of his treatment and medications, but they surely are not for body pain ;-)

@Geo: What creativity. I am astounded by the number of UI enhancements that you can come up with and that too at the drop of a hat. You should start a company and create an OS with those features. You would be the darling of the masses and probably you could give up the medical profession ;-)

silverine said...

@Poison: Yeah we have a future Bill Gates here...the darling of the (female) masses :p
@Ashish:Still haven't got your mail :(
@Arvin: Shutting down is not in my hands you see. HRH WXP decides that :p
@Alexis:Grab him before someone else makes him his business partner LOL
p.s. both of you can even start a CET Hospital ;)

Mind Curry said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mind Curry said...

@ silverine, alexis & geo - hehe..that was too funny.

alexis, these medications of geo, were they packaged or just served on the spot - like some ayurvedic "kashayam"?

CET hospital!! rofl!!

(sorry had to post this again due to numerous typos creeping in! wonder why!!)

silverine said...

To Doc. Mind Curry

You application for the post of Doctor at CET hospital has been summarily rejected. Please do not apply again. :|

Sincerely
CET Hospital Administrator

:))

Geo said...

@Silverine, Poison, Alexis and Mind Curry:

You guyz jus rock... ideas dime a dozen!!!

A new OS, CET hospital, and even a CET Hospital Administrator

ROFL =))

>|' ; '| said...

A CET Hospital and also a CET Jail wud be great...the college being what it is right now..wud be easier to go to these institutions than to the police station n the med college...

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

hi dear ....

i dislike XP ... i have 98 at home ... makes my life so much easier ...

btw , abt the cd thing ... my friend almost slapped me ... but i was saved as his mom was there !!!

short story .... :DDD

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

btw , i thought we were still at war w/ the sysads ??

silverine said...

@Geo and Poison: Thanks :)
@Deepa: We are always at war dear :))

Kishley said...

That was gud.. lolzzzz.. i too use WXP.. :)

Muppala Suryaprakasha Borthakur said...

For the benefit of non-medical people here, what is a CET Hospital?
-Muppala Suryaprakasha Borthakur

quills said...

Silverine!!!! I am dying of laughter here. :)) How on earth do you come up with these hilarious conversations in between?

silverine said...

@kishley: Welcom to my blog girl :) And thank you!
@Surya: It is a long story. Check out this post follow the comments and you may understand:) p.s. CET is an engg college in Tvm.
@Quills: Thanks gal, I was absolutely pissed with WXP..so put all my venom into this post :))

Thanu said...

I read this post few days ago.. didn't leave a comment, today when I came, 70 comments...

All my folks call me with comp problems... now i tell them I'm gonna start billing u..

Mind Curry said...

@ CET Hosp Admin,

Respected Madam,

I pormise to imperove my typin skills. pelease do recansider my aapplecation.

I will give you whatevar you need if you give me this job, including free consaltation madammmm!

Bribefully yours,

Mind Curry


@ geo - i have more ideas bro..with you around all our minds become so fertile for brilliance.

Alexis Leon said...

@silverine: Madam, Thank you for giving your permission for allowing me to explain the treatments and medications at CET (College of Engineering Trivandrum) Hospital.

@Mindcurry and others: Since you application is rejected once by our administrator, I see you are trying to get a place in the hospital by bribing and flattering our administrator ;-).

At CET Hospital we give neither packaged medications nor ayurvedic "kashayam". We believe that almost all ailments could be treated through spiritual means.

So, spirituality is our main mode of treatment where the patients will be given spirits in different doses and quantities. Sometimes we combine these spirits to make more potent preparations. These are also called cocktails. Some of the companies that supply these medicines are McDowell’s, Bacardi, Johnny Walker, Bagpiper, etc.

We also have a herbal division, where we elevate and alter the mental state of the patients using simple but very effective herbs collected from the forests of Idukki district. These herbs are time-tested and are very effective in anger management, depression management, etc. We manufacture these herbal remedies in-house, using the locally available raw materials.

I am not giving the names of the medicines as they are in Spanish, Mexican, and French. I will let Dr. Geo and Dr. Paappaan to explain those names.

@Poison: The psychiatric ward could double up as a Jail and with a single dose of our herbal medicine, we could tame even the most violent inmates. :-)

silverine said...

@Thanu: Well I have three engineers in the house but then when the battery is running low and the OS si refusing to shut down there is nothing they can that I can't do and that is cut the power :))


@mind curry: LOL :))

Dear mind curry,

We have just found out that your qualification and experience certificate was forged. Hence we are black listing your resume. But since your english is so world class we can hire you as our prescription writer. When can you start?

Yours hopefully

CET Hospital Administrator.

@Alexis; You have your revenge, now it is me rolling me on the floor splitting my sides here. R O F L

In CET language Namichu
=))

Jithu said...

bill gates anna, where art thou? are u reading this? :-)

ursjina said...

hehe..mine keep on fixing 'serious' errors..and i get the scare of my life evrytime i see it

Mind Curry said...

@ Alexis - wow man.. you are the new healthcare czar in the making. do you have shares of these mega pharma companies like Bacardi and JW?

@ CET Hospital Admin (with career advice from Alexis)

Deer Admini Madam,

Ferst of ol, let me tell you that you are vary beautiful madam. you are vary talanted and great.

Second of ol, I am constently improving my english skils. so will it be pausible to confirm that prescriptenist post u agreed for the amount i gave? Apparantely, my frand Alexis tells me that medical werld as they tought me in medical collage is no more.but i hear of one grate dr.geo who is raking in the moolah in associashion with new innovattive pharma companies. i think i shuld try my hand too. i stud first in handrighting in school long time ago. bonus for you madam if u take me.

i will come with anether sootcase full of notes if you promise me the job.


mind curry.

p.s. you are really beautifool.

പാപ്പാന്‍‌/mahout said...

>>>(Alexis)I am not giving the names of the medicines as they are in Spanish, Mexican, and French. I will let Dr. Geo and Dr. Paappaan to explain those names.

"Ayyae, njaan aa type alla" (Malayalam movie dialog) :)

Prateek said...

Windows windows, it'll never stop, Microsoft has made sure of that ;). I mean which stupid person designed such a stupid interface where you have to click on "Start" to 'Stop' your computer..lol. Hop over to the bright side, get yourself a Macintosh and you'll never face these problems again.

hope and love said...

:))
loved the post.. ur writing is adorable..

shruti said...

Hey .. being a amatuer computer user i can share something of what you feel ..yesterday i couldnt connect to my dial up connection and as usual u had the send error report window popping up but the funny part was when i tried sending it it told me i needed to be conencted to the net ... how do they end up with this ????

Tha Dalda said...

nooooooooo. how can u say these abt xp. if it wasnt meant to confuse u, i wouldnt have had a job to do. ppl call us up with a toll free no and end up payin 35 $ to find out if they can access their mails. :p
if u wanna give me a call, call up thru the company phone so that ill put u thru the pro support where u pay 255$ for nothin. :D

so stop getting wise on win xp and ruin my job. /me dreams abt holidays while i slog my ass of being the son of toil.

Fleiger said...

Oh and btw, are you sure you didn't send Microsoft your great game plans? That could explain this.

Leon said...

Everyone I know has had some pet peeves about WinXP.. hehe..

The "Send error report" thing is downright irritating. Even with an original version, I haven't bothered to send the report to Microsoft once.

But all said and done.. It's better than Windows 95/98/2000. So there.. :p

silverine said...

@mindcurry:Ferst of ol, er...first of all let me tell you that you are vary er..very talented and great yourself.

Second of all, I can see that you are constently er..consistently improving your english skills. So will it be pausible er damn @%#$& I mean possible to confirm that prescriptions writer post u agreed for the 'anether sootcase'? Grrrr I meant ‘another suitcase’. The job is yours, just PLEASE desist from sending me emales er...I meant emails.

LOL

@Prateek: I was thinking on the same lines. About the primitive 'start' and 'stop' buttons. :))
@HnL: Thank you dear doc :)
@Shruthi: That's the beauty of WXP. It doesnt let you ask questions but keeps peppering you with questions :)
@Fleiger: LOL no, but then I was typing this post in MS Word for the very first time WXP tried to hang MS Word !!! :))
@Dalda: You just solved the puzzle for millions of WXP users. Now we know why it gives us so much troubles forcing us to call guys like you. Bet you had a healthy profit since WXP was launched :p
@Leon: AMEN!! As my sysadmin I shall not argue with you. :p

Fleiger said...

Aha... you crib and expect the guys not to reply??? Those MS people are err... people too you know.

Mind Curry said...

@ CET Hosp Admin,

You brake my hart, oh madam.

a shattered employee

:))

Alexis Leon said...

@CET Admin: Madam, I think you should give the job to MC since he is giving you sootcases full of notes :-) We will give him a 'smoke treatment' followed by a cocktail at our spirituality center (ward) so that he will become used to the hospital environment. May be the smoke treatment will further improve his English.

@MC: We can fix the brake, clutch and accelerator of your heart and since you are joining the hospital the treatment will be free. Soon you will be drifting through the corridors of the CET hospital; that is after we give you our smoke treatment. See you soon.

Geo said...

Alexis,
Sorry for the delay. Saw your comment just now. Here is the list of medicines.

1.Ett-adi-Veer-an :- This is one of the strongest medicines used in our treatment. Specialty of this concoctions is that the patient wont be able to take more than 8 steps once he downs a peg full ..er... glass full..

2.Ma-navaat-ty :- An immensely popular mix among the freshers. This one is not as strong as the previous one, but once taken, leaves the patient’s head in a downward dangling position. Some say the name of this mix originated from the mallu word for bride. Unconfirmed research papers are available which try to draw parallels between the patient’s inability to lift his head and the ‘oh-so-famous’ shyness of a ‘brand-new-bride’.

3.Ye-sukri-sthu :- This again is a strong mix. Once taken, the patient usually falls into a looong meditative sleep and wakes up only after 2 or 3 days. Some research scholars have tried to draw an analogy between this behavior and the resurrection of a certain J Christ.

silverine said...

@Fleiger: Hats off to MS for this pioneering feature. I didnt realise that the yellow dog with a waggitty tail scrutinising every word I type is a MS spy !!
@Mahouth: Now that Dr Alexis has broken the ice would you like to pour the drinks...er I mean medicines :)
@Mind Curry: Thank God for Dr Alexis, now we can pick up your shattered pieces and smoke them back into one piece. Hope to see drift around soon LOL
@Alexis: ha ha I am nominating you for this year's Nobel Prize in Medicine
@Geo: This was way too creative =))
p.s. please do not use the new prescription writer... or Ett-adi-Veer-an will become or-adi-veer-an =))

lash said...

i am not surprised to see 90 comments here. this post desreves it. your ERP rating has reached unattainable heights. by the way what was hiding behind those,

Me: @%#^&@*%#+ !!!! ??? :)

shruti said...

gRiL OOPS SORRY girl UR posts are hilarious ... u have a knack and a flow .. i was awake till late yesterday rweding opps reading ur and that other amazin woman ..ifitellyaiwillkillya's blogs... really good ..got jme in splits ... feelin sleepy today in off... keep it up

Fleiger said...

One's loyal creature is another's spy... After all, what do you expect from a loyal creature like dog?

Would have been different in you had the cat there.. try it. :)

Just don't try anything funny near Merlin.

Fleiger said...

@geo: Tum geo... I mean jio hazaron saal.

Just read your comments. Will try and keep away from all these medicines and doctors who presribe them.

calvin said...

Hey geo , You forgot

Aanamayakki - Reserved for the headstrong , those patients who have developed the strength to overcome the above mentioned once (once ?. ones ). Having been at the CET Hospital for the customary four years and having administered most of those beautiful spiritual stimulators to many , I think I qualify for the job of prescrippprotowe ( well , whatever was MC was vying for )

silverine said...

@Alexis: Am suffering from stomach cramps with your hilarious comments :))I think I need some treatment now. But no CET hospital please!!!!!!
@mind curry: look what you have done to Shruthi grrrrrrrrr :))
@Lash:Thank you dear!! As I told you in my mail, a lot of venom and a year of frustration was hiding behind those :))
@Shruthi: Thanks girl. Delighted to have you here but please read the comments of our prescriptionist at your own risk :))
@Fleiger: I have got rid of the dog and now have to bear the constant and steady grin of the Smiley. Very unsettling grrr Tried the Cat too, but it had never heard of the saying "curiosity killed the cat" *sigh*
p.s. what's with this Merlin guy??

silverine said...

@Fleiger: Your last comment came just as I posted my reply to your last. I second what you said. Tum Geo hazaron saal LOL
p.s do try the medicines once,or you will 'brake' the heart of the good Docs who have prepared them so lovingly ;)
@Aashik: I am sorry but your spelling and English is not atrocious enough to qualify for the post of Prescriptionist! rofl

Fleiger said...

I can see The Queen turning in her bed (not grave, plz to notice) because of the use of her english.

Ok, about Merlin, he is the wizard in the Microsoft. If the dog just caused your machine to play up, he will turn your machine (if not you) into frog for sure. Just make sure you bahave around him ;)

As for the medicines, I need to walk at least 10 miutes to reach cllege each day. I can't blush, and I am not a girl (I guess these are the two qualities necessary for being a blushing bride. And I am sure I don't have time for meditative sleep. Will try these on my friends though, after all, each party needs a sober man to enjoy the party. ;)

Browser said...

@ Alexis Leon - Do the spirits still come in buckets?? We used to buy them in bulk along with tomatoes and eggs for "special days". Come to think of it - wonder where the buckets came from? All I know is that it was from the mens hostel.......

browser said...

@silverine - The spelling and English come only after the Prescriptionist too has had some of the medicine.

Alexis Leon said...

@browse: No now at the hospital we prepare it for each individual depnding on the dosage prescribed by Dr. Geo ;-)

@Silverine: You have crossed the 100 comment mark. This is 101 :-)

Anand K said...

Oh Most Magnificent Prince of the Darkness,
He who holds his many splendoured court at Redmond Fortress,
Bless me for I am about to cleanse the world,
Of this insolent human who dares to blaspheme your word.
-------------------

Die XP haters. Die! My Blog Nuke soon cometh this way to cast down the flowery skies... :P

Safari Al said...

okay...i actually have to use ctrl+f to find where my comment is. this is maddening. how the hell do you get so many comments? i am sure my management teacher would be interested in your practices.

Geo said...

I dunno abt others, but she gives me a treat at SubWay for every 3 comments I put here... An ice cream extra if all of em appear on the same post.

Silverine, have I breached our secrecy pact?

പാപ്പാന്‍‌/mahout said...

(i know this has nothing to do with wxp, but since the thread has been more or less hijacked by the hospital guys [;)], here's my addition to the list of meds:
a k antony: named after the ex-chief minister of kerala, this medicine will make the patient behave just like antony, which is to become tongue-tied; he/she would not be able to speak even if his/her life depended on it)

silverine said...

@Browser:More doctors emerging from the closet :))
@Alexis: That's a milestone for me thanks to you guys :)) I am overwhelmed.
@Anand K: ROFL :)) I am sure Billy is in a quandry now, whether to hate you or love you :))And amazingly it rhymes!!!!
@Safari Al: Thanks for reminding me about Ctrl+ F. You just solved a big problem for me he he :))
@Geo: A secrecy pact with the Devil himself??? Never!!!! :))
@Mahouth: Welcome to the thread, a k antony was funny :) Hats off to you CET guys, I wonder if any other college has this kind of talent and creativity!!! LOL :))

Sreejith Kumar said...

You wrote my XP-rience! :-)) Beware! There are more Windows MediaCenter, Windows Longhorn, Windows Vista ... hehehe

silverine said...

@sreejith: I am waiting for the agony to begin :p

tcr_79 said...

Haha :) good one..

silverine said...

@tcr_79: Thank you, a fellow sufferer I see :))

cain l337pwn3r said...

just one q...y gelusil???.....

The Smokin' WDM2 said...

damn! i blogged an anti windows thingy a few hours ago and came across this just now. Am I gonna get jailed on a flase charge of plagarism?

Akhil S Behl said...

absolutely love WXP! Haven't tried the UNIX based platforms yet.. but one thing that goes is Vista SUCKS BIG TIME! Makes me want to choke myself waiting for EVERYthing to happen!

Kannan,India said...

Fock Windoze..
and open your doors to GNU/Linux.
Try Mint flavour of Linux by downloading and burning it to a DVD..
You will be pleasantly surprised..
If you can do your work in
OpenOffice.org then its better to use Linux..
I have been using only linux for past 6-7 years..Never missed a thing.
Now I have converted my grumpy sis's brand new computer to Linux too..
My bro-in-law is so impressed..he thought that Linux is for geeks only and is surprised by the ease of use..and zero viruses,speed,amazing 3D graphics effects(compiz-fusion) etc etc..
Ask for help from your local linux guru..and I am sure any genuine local linux guru would be happy to help..