Sometime last year my Sysadmin installed Windows XP in my comp. It would make my life very easy he declared. Apparently Windows XP will provide rich, wireless network support, helping me to simply and easily connect to wireless networks and it is very intelligent too. I was so happy. It would be so helpful to someone who uses only MS Word.
I had a first hand experience of its ‘advanced features’ when I tried to shut down the comp for the very first time since it was installed:
Windows XP (WXP): There are other users connected to your computer. Shutting down your computer will make you lose your hair and some more. Continue with shut down?
WXP: Are you sure?
WXP: Lock kiya jaye?
Me: Shut down you dumb thing!!!
WXP: Galath jawaab. Try shutting down the computer again when you have learnt some manners.
Me: Shut down or I pull the plug!
WXP: Oh noo, I am so scared hee hee
Me: grrrrr !!
I use the Windows Task Manager to shut down the comp and after taking a generous swig of Gelusil called my Sysadmin for a refresher course.
Sysadmin: So what’s wrong or shall I say what’s right with your comp hee hee.
Me: What an awesome joke man!!! You are hilarious! I am having some problems with WXP.
Sysadmin: Thank you, thank you it’s very original you know.
Me: Amazing joke!!! I am unable to shut down the comp.
Sysadmin: heh heh I am a funny man.
Me: Sure you are...now I need you to check my OS.
Sysadmin: I try to make people smile.
Me: I know, but my WXP is giving me a lot of grief.
Sysadmin: Windows XP? I have no clue. Now lemme go share the joke with the boys heh heh.
Me: @%#^&@*%#+ !!!!
WXP has a feature that keeps a eye on the going ons in my PC and generates regular hi-tech reports to be sent to the Microsoft guys for prompt action.
She blogs at work. (AHA!!!)
She downloads baby pictures (yuck)
She is copying recipes from Tarla Dalal site (what a loser)
She is sticking her tongue out at me (pffft)
And then it will open this small window every irritating two second or so and ask "Shall I send this error report to Microsoft? It will be absolutely confidential. You will not be sued; we will just use this information to make your pirated WXP experience more pleasurable." More gelusil.
I have WXP at home too. Now my UPS is on the blink and gives me exactly one minute to shut down the comp after the power goes out. But WXP is so advanced that it will shut down the comp only after weighing the pros and cons of the said action.
WXP: The DSL connection is active. Would you like to continue with Shut Down?
Me: What are you doing ?!?!
WXP: I am thinking...hmmm
Me: Shut down for gods sake!!!
WXP: hmmm.... *blink* (battery power out)
Me: @%#^&@*%#+ !!!!
I think I need further training to build on my limited knowledge of the Windows XP operating system and the skilled facets of XP's functionality and features.
I am now undergoing rigorous training at the "Advanced Workshop in Anger Management" being conducted by the Windows XP Users Association.