Monday, March 23, 2009

Modesty...I has it!

I was chatting with a little bird today and the little bird informed me that a certain blogger had told her that he had 'apparently' got this mail from “me” the other day!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Anjali Philip silverine1 at gmail com
Date: Sun, Mar 22, 2009 at 12:08 PM
Subject: Hi

To: A blogger

Dear A Blogger,

Just a note to tell you that I love your blog. Though I never comment on your posts, count me in amongst your many silent admirers.



Touching aint it? Now let me tell you all a secret. I get such messages too. Honestly!! Though modesty prevents me waxing eloquent about my “silent admirers” I cannot but share some interesting mails I get with you all. I am not showing off now... mind you. This is just to let you all know how honored I am by the mails sent in by some people. Here's a sample of a few mails amongst the thousands I get.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Barack Obama barack dot obama at gmail com
Date: Sun, Mar 23, 2009 at 10:18 PM
Subject: Greetings
To: Anjali Philip

Dear Anjali,

I have recently started reading your blog from the White House and I must say I love it. As soon as I have sorted out the mess here (you know where) I will make arrangements to appoint you to a key White House post. God alone knows we need a break in here (you know from what).



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Ernest Hemingway ernest dot hemingway at gmail com
Date: Mon, Dec 29, 2008 at 11:30 AM
Subject: Hello!
To: Anjali Philip

Dear Anjali,




---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: William Shakespeare william dot shakespeare at gmail com
Date: Thurs, Sept 4, 2008 at 09:35 AM
Subject: Thy blog!
To: Anjali Philip

Before the lady doth protest too much, let me say that your blog is such stuff as dreams are made on. Thy blog is a dish fit for the gods, a feast of languages!

Yours truly,

Willie err William

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: John Abraham john dot abraham at gmail com
Date: Wed, Oct 1, 2008 at 07:15 PM
Subject: How you doin!
To: Anjali Philip



Yours madly in love,

John Abraham

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Bipasha Basu bipasha dot basu at gmail com
Date: Thurs, Oct 2, 2008 at 10:10 PM
Subject: No Subject
To: Anjali Philip

Bitch!! I hate you!



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Angelina Jolie angelina dot jolie at yahoo com
Date: Mon, Mar 23, 2009 at 10:10 PM
Subject:Hello dear!
To: Anjali Philip

Dear Anjali,

You adorable girl….can we adopt you?



I guess you get the idea now! ;) Have a nice week folks!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Call to Duty!

The State Government here has announced a unique scheme that enables ‘ordinary’ citizens like you and me to take part in nation building in a more intimate manner than the present passionless participation by way of paying taxes only. Now, you will all argue that you pay your taxes with a lot of passion and vehemence and ill will…and I agree. But this novel scheme dear friends is just the ticket to good governance and a Golden State. Finally 'you' my dear friends will play a crucial role in the day to day functioning of your city, village and town!!

I was fortunate to meet and interview the Minister who has introduced this scheme at his office today. Here are some excerpts from the interview.

Me: Namaskara Minister avarugalu! At the outset let me tell you that your new scheme is indeed a path breaking idea in modern governance!
Minister: Thank you! Thank you! I am a humble public servant wonly heh heh
Me: Could you tell us something about this new idea that allows the ordinary citizen play a pivotal role in the day to day governance of the State?
Minster: Khanditha (sure)!! The new scheme is called “Adopt a Government School!!!”
Me: Fantastic!
Minister: Heh heh thank you, thank you! We are like this wonly!
Me: And how does an ordinary citizen go about adopting a school?
Minister: Ah! It is very simple actually! All that a citizen has to do is choose a school and donate an amount and the money will be used for the running of the school wonly!
Me: Excellent idea Sir! This would indeed alleviate the misery err I mean the problems in government schools.
Minister: Heh heh the humble idea was mine wonly! I now propose to expand the scope of this project!
Me: Think of the possibilities Sir. You can have “Adopt a Village” and “Adopt a Forest”….the possibilities!! You are a genius Sir!!
Minister: Err well ahem thank you. Our next project will be “Adopt a Government Hospital”
Me: Hmmm that sounds good too. This will ensure that the poor get better treatment and the hospital better facilities!
Minister: Exactly! Then we plan to introduce “Adopt a Police Station”
Me: That's wonderful. I guess public participation will make them less corrupt err I mean more efficient!
Minister: adopt I mean a member of the public pays for its upkeep wonly you see!
Me: And what about the government?
Minister (smoothly): We will take care of the funds…I mean administration!
Me: Hmmm
Minister (quickly): Think of the public works we can undertake with the money saved on these institutions!
Me: I have to concede that you are right there!
Minister (bowing): Humble thanks wonly! Don’t you want to hear of the other things that will come under the purview of this scheme soon?
Me: Of course!
Minister: After we have put up all government institutions for adoption, we will introduce “Adopt a Lamp Post!!”
Me: What!!
Minister: Followed by “Adopt a Lamp post Tube light/Sodium Vapor Lamp”
Me: Huh!
Minister (earnestly): Do you blog?
Me: Blog? Err what’s that?
Minister: Never mind. But if you did, you could adopt a stretch of power line in any part of the State and we will allow you to advertise your blog or website on it absolutely free!!!
Me: Yikes!
Minister: And that would come under our “Adopt a Stretch of Electricity Wire” scheme!
Me (sarcastically): Great.
Minister: That will soon be followed by “Adopt a Stretch of Road” and “Adopt a Public Tap” and “Adopt a garbage heap” or “Adopt a Traffic Copper” or “Adopt a stretch of a Flyover” or "Adopt a Manhole." The possibilities like you said, are endless!!
Me (dryly): Anything else you have left “uncovered” Sir!
Minister: Hmm let me see. Did I mention “Adopt the Metro Train?"
Me: Groan!
Minister (wagging a finger): You don’t worry your head girl. We will ensure all governmental responsibilities are covered by you all heh heh!
Me: I am sure you would Sir. You will have a lot of free time to do that I can see.
Minister: All in a days work of a humble public servant ma'am!
Me: Thank you Sir for your valuable time. I will see myself out!
Minister: Heh heh thank you for your visit. By the way, on you way out you can choose to “Adopt a govt office table” or “Adopt a govt office cupboard” or…
Me (hastily): I get the picture Sir. But no thank you...there is a sewage blockage near my house. I think I will adopt that for now.
Minister: Whatay spirit! *sniff* We need more people like you to make our State the Golden State of our country! Shabash!!
Me: Thank you...Sir...I think! :-S

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

The terrible thing about good memory

At precisely 10 am this morning the Boss’s phone rang!

Boss: Hello dear!
Wifey: #$@%@$@!!!
Boss: *gasp*
Wifey: &%$#@*!!!
Boss: Yes dear!
Wifey: *unprintable*
Boss: Yes dear!
Wife: *more unprintable*
Boss: Sorry dear! :(
Wife: *SLAM*

At precisely 10:15 am my phone rang!

Me: Hello Boss!
: Silverine! Ahem… have you forgotten something?
Me: hmmm I don’t think so!
Boss (gently): Ah! Think again my dear!
Me: Sorry...I don’t think I have forgotten anything!
Me: *gasp*
Me: Yes Boss! :(
Me: Yes Boss :(
Me: Yes Boss! :(
Me: Sorry Boss!
Boss: *SLAM*

Note to self: Next appraisal meeting please ensure that you ask for suitable remuneration for your additional responsibilities as Birthday/Anniversary Reminder Service Provider for the grey haired farts in the office!

p.s the quote for the week in my email template is “The heart that truly loves never forgets.” tee hee