Tuesday, May 26, 2020

The Covidiot Managers

For most of us working in the IT sector, working from home or WFH is nothing new. But to a lot of people in other sectors it is not. WFH in non-IT sectors is complicated. It is like a mother unwilling to cut the umbilical cord, as a friend Ravi ( not his real name)  found out.

Ravi (calling manager): Sir...I am unwell
Manager: Gasp! Where are you?
Ravi: At home Sir.
Manager: Why you working from home huh? With whose permission you are working from home huh?
Ravi: Err we are all working from home Sir due to this Covid 19 situation.
Manager: heh heh yes, I forjetted. Hope you don’t stay close to me.
Ravi: I live a kilometer away from you.
Manager: Now would be a good time to move.
Ravi: What? Why!!!
Manager: I mean, now would be a good time to groove.
Ravi: hehehe you are right, we must all loosen up and groove.
Manager: But not too much grooving and all mind you!
Ravi: Gulp! No sir, I will do it within control.
Manager (suspiciously): What do you mean by within control. Does this mean earlier you were doing it out of control????
Ravi: Gulp, no Sir, you suggested we groove within limits
Manager: Ah yes! I forjetted.
Ravi: Coming back to the topic, I am sick and need  a day off today.
Manager: Tell me your symptoms!
Ravi:  I am feeling feverish…
Manager: Oho!!! Fever is a distinct symptom
Ravi: Of what Sir?
Manager: Err never mind, tell me more.
Ravi: I have slight body ache too Sir
Manager: Slight? On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is your pain.
Ravi: Sir, it was 0, then it became 1 then 2, then 3 and now it is around 4.5
Manager: Idiot!
Ravi: What did you say sir?
Manager: Ahem, I was talking to my wife, Malliga good for nothing she is.
Ravi: My respects to Madam Sir, where is she working!
Manager: Nowhere! Pah! She is a MSc in Maths and does not work
Ravi: She is highly qualified. My wife’s college is hiring...
Manager (cutting in): She doesn’t need a job. She has a job.
Ravi: Oops sorry Sir. I thought she was unemployed.
Manager: Oh no, she is a housewife. She cooks, washes, keeps the house. Useless woman.
Ravi: Err…
Manager: Anyways what I was trying to say before you rudely interrupted me is why didn’t you take any pain killer when your pain was a 2.
Ravi: Sir, I generally don’t take pain killers, I try to avoid medicines unless it is very bad.
Manager: Look Ravi, we pay you to be pain free, fever free and disease free. So, ensure you take precautions.
Ravi: Ok Sir.
Manager: What other symptoms you have?
Ravi: I have an earache too.
Manager: Which ear?
Ravi: Right.
Manager: Did you take any medication?
Ravi (quickly): Yes sir, I took a tablet when the pain was a 1.
Manager: Good boy, but obviously you took some bad medication. You should take good medication.
Ravi: But Sir, the medication was prescribed by my doctor!!
Manager: Then change your doctor and get a good one.
Ravi: What!! Err ok Sir.
Manager: By your symptoms, it looks like you don’t have Covid 19, so you can continue to reside where are you staying.
Ravi: I don’t understand Sir.
Manager: What do you not understand?  I don’t want to be infected by you if you have Covid  pah!        
Ravi: Of course, Sir, I understand. By the way my brother in law came from Goa, he cycled across the border Sir. He has bought some Feni which I wanted to give you. ( Call drops) Sir, Sir are you there? Looks like the call dropped. Stupid Airtel.
The doorbell rings. Ravi opens the door to see a beaming Manager
Manager: My man, I jusht dropped in to check in on you. Jusht you put the bottle in my bag and I will be gone.
Ravi: Sure, here it is.
Manager beams and disappears.
Ravi: Where the hell did he disappear! He was just here!! 
The phone rings
Ravi: Hello!
Manager: Hello Ravi, so you were saying you have pain in your right ear…
Ravi: !!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

At that point, the best correct answer to the manager is probably, 'Thuu bevarsi kudka!' :)

Stay safe!


Anonymous said...

Man! Here I'm again! After ages! Brought back a lot of memories of the time when checking your blog was a morning ritual along with my first cup of tea in office. Nostalgia! Was a huge fan of 'M'. Please say he's still single! LOL! Good to see you!

totalliemeh said...

Silverine!! You are online!! This is a miracle!!

Do you remember your twister (twitter sister)? Assuming you do, I changed persona and became someone else, started new blogs and continued to ignore the totalliemeh existence. I stumbled upon the old blog and in turn stumbled upon here and was so happy to see your post! Life is good again!!!!

Anonymous said...

Visiting after long time. Hope you're doing well. Stay safe.

silverine said...

@jackson: I see another Danish Sait fan :-)
Anon: Thank you girl, you made me feel all good. M is taken, bound and gagged lol
@ totalliemeh - Hey there sista, it so nice to see your comment. Life is good for me too after seeing your comment. Virtual hugs coming your way :-)
Anon: Thank you, stay safe you too!

Praveen said...

Hey Silverine good to see you still writing! I am checking my blogger account after ages and thought of checking out who among my favourites are still active 😊

Pradeep Nair said...

Hi, I stumbled on your comment, when I was going through some of my earlier posts.
Somehow we lost track of each other.
How are you doing? Hope all well at your end.