The Covidiot Managers

For most of us working in the IT sector, working from home or WFH is nothing new. But to a lot of people in other sectors it is not. WFH in non-IT sectors is complicated. It is like a mother unwilling to cut the umbilical cord, as a friend Ravi ( not his real name)  found out.

Ravi (calling manager): Sir...I am unwell

Manager: Gasp! Where are you?

Ravi: At home Sir.

Manager: Why you working from home huh? With whose permission you are working from home huh?

Ravi: Err we are all working from home Sir due to this Covid 19 situation.

Manager: heh heh yes, I forjetted. Hope you don’t stay close to me.

Ravi: I live a kilometer away from you.

Manager: Now would be a good time to move.

Ravi: What? Why!!!

Manager: I mean, now would be a good time to groove.

Ravi: hehehe you are right, we must all loosen up and groove.

Manager: But not too much grooving and all mind you!

Ravi: Gulp! No sir, I will do it within control.

Manager (suspiciously): What do you mean by within control. Does this mean earlier you were doing it out of control????

Ravi: Gulp, no Sir, you suggested we groove within limits

Manager: Ah yes! I forjetted.

Ravi: Coming back to the topic, I am sick and need  a day off today.

Manager: Tell me your symptoms!

Ravi:  I am feeling feverish…

Manager: Oho!!! Fever is a distinct symptom

Ravi: Of what Sir?

Manager: Err never mind, tell me more.

Ravi: I have slight body ache too Sir

Manager: Slight? On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is your pain.

Ravi: Sir, it was 0, then it became 1 then 2, then 3 and now it is around 4.5

Manager: Idiot!

Ravi: What did you say sir?

Manager: Ahem, I was talking to my wife, Malliga good for nothing she is.

Ravi: My respects to Madam Sir, where is she working!

Manager: Nowhere! Pah! She is a MSc in Maths and does not work

Ravi: She is highly qualified. My wife’s college is hiring...

Manager (cutting in): She doesn’t need a job. She has a job.

Ravi: Oops sorry Sir. I thought she was unemployed.

Manager: Oh no, she is a housewife. She cooks, washes, keeps the house. Useless woman.

Ravi: Err…

Manager: Anyways what I was trying to say before you rudely interrupted me is why didn’t you take any pain killer when your pain was a 2.

Ravi: Sir, I generally don’t take pain killers, I try to avoid medicines unless it is very bad.

Manager: Look Ravi, we pay you to be pain free, fever free and disease free. So, ensure you take precautions.

Ravi: Ok Sir.

Manager: What other symptoms you have?

Ravi: I have an earache too.

Manager: Which ear?

Ravi: Right.

Manager: Did you take any medication?

Ravi (quickly): Yes sir, I took a tablet when the pain was a 1.

Manager: Good boy, but obviously you took some bad medication. You should take good medication.

Ravi: But Sir, the medication was prescribed by my doctor!!

Manager: Then change your doctor and get a good one.

Ravi: What!! Err ok Sir.

Manager: By your symptoms, it looks like you don’t have Covid 19, so you can continue to reside where are you staying.

Ravi: I don’t understand Sir.

Manager: What do you not understand?  I don’t want to be infected by you if you have Covid  pah!        

Ravi: Of course, Sir, I understand. By the way my brother in law came from Goa, he cycled across the border Sir. He has bought some Feni which I wanted to give you. ( Call drops) Sir, Sir are you there? Looks like the call dropped. Stupid Airtel.

The doorbell rings. Ravi opens the door to see a beaming Manager

Manager: My man, I jusht dropped in to check in on you. Jusht you put the bottle in my bag and I will be gone.

Ravi: Sure, here it is.

Manager beams and disappears.

Ravi: Where the hell did he disappear! He was just here!! 

The phone rings

Ravi: Hello!

Manager: Hello Ravi, so you were saying you have pain in your right ear…

Ravi: !!!!!!!