Thursday, March 12, 2009

Call to Duty!

The State Government here has announced a unique scheme that enables ‘ordinary’ citizens like you and me to take part in nation building in a more intimate manner than the present passionless participation by way of paying taxes only. Now, you will all argue that you pay your taxes with a lot of passion and vehemence and ill will…and I agree. But this novel scheme dear friends is just the ticket to good governance and a Golden State. Finally 'you' my dear friends will play a crucial role in the day to day functioning of your city, village and town!!

I was fortunate to meet and interview the Minister who has introduced this scheme at his office today. Here are some excerpts from the interview.

Me: Namaskara Minister avarugalu! At the outset let me tell you that your new scheme is indeed a path breaking idea in modern governance!
Minister: Thank you! Thank you! I am a humble public servant wonly heh heh
Me: Could you tell us something about this new idea that allows the ordinary citizen play a pivotal role in the day to day governance of the State?
Minster: Khanditha (sure)!! The new scheme is called “Adopt a Government School!!!”
Me: Fantastic!
Minister: Heh heh thank you, thank you! We are like this wonly!
Me: And how does an ordinary citizen go about adopting a school?
Minister: Ah! It is very simple actually! All that a citizen has to do is choose a school and donate an amount and the money will be used for the running of the school wonly!
Me: Excellent idea Sir! This would indeed alleviate the misery err I mean the problems in government schools.
Minister: Heh heh the humble idea was mine wonly! I now propose to expand the scope of this project!
Me: Think of the possibilities Sir. You can have “Adopt a Village” and “Adopt a Forest”….the possibilities!! You are a genius Sir!!
Minister: Err well ahem thank you. Our next project will be “Adopt a Government Hospital”
Me: Hmmm that sounds good too. This will ensure that the poor get better treatment and the hospital better facilities!
Minister: Exactly! Then we plan to introduce “Adopt a Police Station”
Me: That's wonderful. I guess public participation will make them less corrupt err I mean more efficient!
Minister: adopt I mean a member of the public pays for its upkeep wonly you see!
Me: And what about the government?
Minister (smoothly): We will take care of the funds…I mean administration!
Me: Hmmm
Minister (quickly): Think of the public works we can undertake with the money saved on these institutions!
Me: I have to concede that you are right there!
Minister (bowing): Humble thanks wonly! Don’t you want to hear of the other things that will come under the purview of this scheme soon?
Me: Of course!
Minister: After we have put up all government institutions for adoption, we will introduce “Adopt a Lamp Post!!”
Me: What!!
Minister: Followed by “Adopt a Lamp post Tube light/Sodium Vapor Lamp”
Me: Huh!
Minister (earnestly): Do you blog?
Me: Blog? Err what’s that?
Minister: Never mind. But if you did, you could adopt a stretch of power line in any part of the State and we will allow you to advertise your blog or website on it absolutely free!!!
Me: Yikes!
Minister: And that would come under our “Adopt a Stretch of Electricity Wire” scheme!
Me (sarcastically): Great.
Minister: That will soon be followed by “Adopt a Stretch of Road” and “Adopt a Public Tap” and “Adopt a garbage heap” or “Adopt a Traffic Copper” or “Adopt a stretch of a Flyover” or "Adopt a Manhole." The possibilities like you said, are endless!!
Me (dryly): Anything else you have left “uncovered” Sir!
Minister: Hmm let me see. Did I mention “Adopt the Metro Train?"
Me: Groan!
Minister (wagging a finger): You don’t worry your head girl. We will ensure all governmental responsibilities are covered by you all heh heh!
Me: I am sure you would Sir. You will have a lot of free time to do that I can see.
Minister: All in a days work of a humble public servant ma'am!
Me: Thank you Sir for your valuable time. I will see myself out!
Minister: Heh heh thank you for your visit. By the way, on you way out you can choose to “Adopt a govt office table” or “Adopt a govt office cupboard” or…
Me (hastily): I get the picture Sir. But no thank you...there is a sewage blockage near my house. I think I will adopt that for now.
Minister: Whatay spirit! *sniff* We need more people like you to make our State the Golden State of our country! Shabash!!
Me: Thank you...Sir...I think! :-S


hitch writer said...

Can I adopt this post !!

sheesh !!

OG said...

Adopt a Stretch of Electricity Wire WONLY....:)
yeah, it is all about taking up the responsibity and shoving it to others...:)

Useless Bugger said...

With the recession in full-swing, we should have an "Adopt a Software Engineer" scheme in Bangalore.


--xh-- said...

whoa! :) hilarious... adoption wonlee... now, anybody want to adopt my tummy? it is lunch time :|

Abhi said...

Awesome post. Ministaaar avargaal kidilam thanne. Why not plan for a Adopt a ministry scheme? Then no need for the minister to whack his empty cranium for such great schemes. Would like to see Comment Number 3 come into action :)

silverine said...

hitch writer: Sorry...only govt duties and responsibilities can be adopted! :|
Ordinary guy: Whatay clever scheme no? :p

Parikshith: LOL!! But not possible unless you work for the govt! :|

--xh--: tch tch such utter lack of public service!! You deserve your roads or lack of it and fused lampposts, power cuts and potholes! :|
lol@sponsoring tummy...the govt calls it mid-day meal scheme! :p

Abhi: Super idea boss..pliss not not be given them more ideas! :( Or soon we will have 'Adopt a ministers driver or car or foreign jaunt'. brrr

Twism said...

Strange that I missed out on this news in spite of being in Karnakataka!
In other comical developments here: The Karnataka Government has decided to increase the price of booze from April 1st, zimbly as an April fools day joke.
Now if only someone would adopt them and convince them to never make that mistake.
Vellankani palliyil oru mezhukuthiri kathichekkame!

scorpiogenius said...

hahahaa... what about adopting the "ministers"? We could adopt all of them and chuck them into the Arabian sea or Bay of Bengal, the choice is yours.

Imagine then; the Golden State, virtually and realistically! :)

Arun said...

hi silverine....Good Post ! The concept of adopting different govt machinery even after paying taxes for them is hilarious. However on a positive note it could actually stimulate demand for lots of institutional products. In these days of recession when no one is buying anything -the govt buying or someone adopting for the govt is the only silver lining !

DD said...

Ironic I must say...considering these ministers themselves are, in all probability, "adopted"' for crores by the "political kingmakers" and "political p1mp$"(sorry, Suresh Gopi-Shaji Kailas movies hangover :D)

Good one as always sil :)

Indyeah said...

How about letting some foreign country adopt the minister wonly?:D

adopt a govt cupboard?:D

think silverine think!of the possibilities!:D

Angelina Jolie could be given a run for her money no?;)

we would be the biggest adoptive parents nation in the world while orphans would still be on the streets..

go with idea no 1..
let all phoren ppl adopt our ministers..wokay?

brilliant post!:)

Intern said...

i would like to adopt a key in my keyboard, what a ludicrous attempt :D

nice post :P

Anonymous said...

This is all beating around the bush. Can't we just do a 'Adopt the country' and be done with it?

thomas said...

I'll adopt all the unmarried females in B'lore if you insist. But only if you insist. Oh I know I know, you don't have to thank me; it's for their welfare naa.
;) You must be thinking "What an idea Sirjee!!" right?
P.S. You know Kannada too?

skar said...

Sakkath idea agidhe! :|

I had once taken a pic of some board in my city that I found hilarious:

What a funny co-incidence that now there's a state seriously planning on this! :|

Amal Bose said...

nice post...
will he ever ask us to adopt the govt itself.. without the financial matters ofcourse...

_ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thoorika said...

Next time when you get a chance to interview the minister please call me also .. ! I will feel happy wonly :P

mathew said...

I recently adopted a politican..but it was just to expensive to feed it..and it bites too!:-(

silverine said...

Nitram: I heard the news over radio! :) Booze price is being increased as revenue from other sources has dropped in the State due to the recession! Its called quack Economics! :p

scorpiogenuis: Please don't tempt me. I might just adopt the entire ministry and do that! :p

Arun: You are right...but it will have a snowball effect and soon we will be asked to adopt more!

DD: That's very true!

Indyeah: The possibilities like you said are endless! :))

Shimmer: Ludicrous attempt indeed!

Binny VA: Precisely what I thought when I heard the news! Maybe a conglomerate can take over the country or maybe all countries should be run that way!

Thomman: What a horrible idea Sirjee! :p The ladeez in Blr are quaking at the thought! LOL!

Karthik: Sakkath idea indeed!! The photo is too small to see btw!

Amal: I think they are too clever to do that! :)

RM: That went over my head.

Thoorika: I will!! :)

Mathew: You just described a minister! lol!

Santhanu: There is an actual move to give up govt schools for adoption., They even have a website.

Soorya said...

Hilarious :)

Lets adopt the govt as well...

Anonymous said...

Well many many thanks missus Silberine for making our policies public!
But I think there is a hint of sarcasm in your post... but that is my humble opinion wonly :)

Sparkling said...

Are you sure you went to meet a MInister or media agent in disguise? :D

You always make me laugh woman! What doesn't go to the doctor will come to you now. You're gonna be rich!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad my children have nothing but ridicule for everything. Good good. Mouthing off English like an Englishman and ridiculing everything is all I expect from you. Something is right because the westerner said so. Until then you go on ridiculing, my children. Even in your bloodstream, nothing but ridicule runs! Proud of you.

silverine said...

Soorya: :p Thats the next logical step I guess!

Minister: Very honored by your comment here Sir. You are very intuitive! :)

still thinking: Thank you girl!! :)

Anon: Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap.You choose!

Mind Curry said...

now there is someone badly in need of adoption: sir muthalik the unwanted, self-proclaimed father of the nation. probably mayawati from japan may be interested.

@ macaulay - adopted?

Popping bubble wrap is cheap. lol!

Sudheesh Bhaskaran said...

A silverline post indeed.

Our ministers have given everything in this country to the world bank and IMF and I guess nothing more to adopt than the ministers themselves.

When these fools will learn to do things?

Hilarious post Anjali.Keep it up

Anonymous said...

Caution, this can break your heart:

Mamma I wanna live:

IYI said...

Great Post!!

Can someone adopt the crisis?
All the current management and bailouts might just lead, to the birth of another :I

silverine said...

MC: hehe he must be having second thoughts about bachelorhood now! :p

Sudheesh: You are right! I think it is time we took back the nation from them and appointed better caretakers for our collective baby!

Maald: :(

IYI: Thank you! :) I guess thats what Obama is trying to do after Bush orphaned it! :p

Amey said...

Why do we need this? We already "adopt" government officials, right? I mean, we pay for their upkeep. ;)

On a serious note, this will get more money (and involvement) in public infrastructure. They are probably looking more at corporates, than individuals, I guess.

Ranjith said...

:-D :-D
very nice

Anonymous said...

I am nominating a couple of your posts in the LOL challenge here... I hope you dont mind !!!