Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A gult edged dilemma

‘Anju’ said my senior Gult colleague as he walked up to my work station. “Let’s go for a walk.”
“Why? Is there no other bakra willing to come with you?” I asked sympathetically.
“No” he admitted dejectedly.
“You poor thing” I exclaimed as I locked my lappie, secretly thanking my stars for the break from the ongoing wrestling match with Excel, in which Excel is currently winning and will perhaps emerge victorious by the end of the day, according to the punters in the office. Brisk betting is going on. The odds are 2000 to 1 against me. Sigh.

I locked the desk drawers and the both of us walked out of the building. My Gult (Telugu) colleague, is one of those MIT types who was kicked out of MIT because they had nothing else to offer him anymore. Hence the intellectual gap between him and me is roughly twice the distance from the Sun to its farthest neighbor. Which is very very very very far even I know.

My colleague like all Gult babies was named to ensure that no computer form in the world will have enough columns to accommodate his name. When he travels abroad, he usually lends his laptop to accommodate the tail end of his name on the various official computers. We lovingly call him Foxy, which is shortened from “"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” a 35-letter phrase that uses all the letters of the English alphabet. His name, according to his parents has all the Telugu alphabets in it you see and hence the logic.

Foxy breathed a heavy sigh and looked at the blue yonder for sometime. He seemed fascinated by a lady who looked like a sack of Watermelons, playing Golf. He tore his eyes away from what would have been considered a classically beautiful figure a few centuries ago and looked at me.

Foxy: You know I like you mallu gals.
Me: Thank you!
Foxy: You guys are so down to Earth and…
Me: And?
Foxy: And….*waves his hand in circles*
Me: Buxom?
Foxy ( horrified): No!!! Noooo! I meant wholesome!
Me: So?
Foxy: Our gals on the other hand have a mind of their own!
Me: errr ok! Is that good or bad?
Foxy: Bad! Very bad I tell you!
Me: My condolences.

I think of one of my closest friend, I mean very close friend, make it bestest buddy…she reads this blog you know and is on very close terms with one bhai who lives across the border. Close terms as in several transactions close. Now this gal will not be too happy to hear this. She is Gult you see and has a mind of her own.

Foxy kept one leg on the low wall like NTR in a Telugu blockbuster and sighed again. The watermelon lady was nowhere to be seen.

Foxy: I am 38 you know and quite set in my ways!
Me: Let me sum up the situation here… you are set in your ways and any prospective bride will have a mind of her own right?
Foxy: Right!
Me: You will die a bachelor, man!

Foxy wandered over to the fountain and sat at its edge like a Telugu superstar in a mythological block buster. I followed him. This was getting fun! The waters gurgled and giggled. A soft breeze caressed our face. Foxy seemed oblivious to all this.

Foxy: *sigh*
Me: Did you say anything!
Foxy: My parents want me to get settled you know!
Me: Quite understandable. You are not getting any younger!
Foxy: Don’t rub it in!
Me: Sorry!
Foxy: And you know the problems with our girls….
Me: Lemme guess…they have a mind of their own right?
Foxy: Exactly!
Me: Why don’t you marry a non gult girl then? *under my breath* "A zombie perhaps?"
Foxy: My parents will never allow that.
Me: You are in a jam, man!
Foxy: Precisely! Which is why I have decided to remain a bachelor.
Me: err... then why all this exercise. I mean calling me out and going through this soul searching?
Foxy: I like talking to you. You listen…and don't talk back. The others are pretty set in their ways you know. They have a mind of their own!
Me: I am glad you are not getting married.
Foxy: Me too!
Me: I am glad for a different reason though.
Foxy: Huh?
Me: Never mind!


Deepti said...

LOL :) "mind of their own" indeed !!!:D

Sriram said...

*LOL*.. Foxy! Awesome name!
Another classic from Silverine... it pays to wait 10 days after that previous post :)

Annemarie said...


MIT eh? Heh!

claytonia vices said...

talk about Gult conscience! ;)

JustSo said...

me thinks me likes the "minchagi neenu baralu" ... but this is good too, until you actually see that lady jumping up and down.

and about Foxy ... well, tell him that girls who get dowry have a mind of their own, after all they've "paid" to have a mind of their own :D

Anonymous said...

did you realize that you lost an opportunity to be christened (or gultened) as SILVERINULU...

silverine said...

Iyer Education: err he is 38 years old and doesn't fancy a kid for a wife nor do I fancy a grandpa for a husband! :p

Dhanush | ധനുഷ് said...

He He .. Interesting thoughts. I guess I can give the same reasons to my mom for remaining bachelor. Replace the Telugu with Malayalam.

I second Iyer Edu ;)SILVERINULU RAMULU VANGIPURAPPU VENKITASAI .... and the name goes on. :)

Usha said...

hehe.. so typical, right?

i know quite a few people at the same spot as that of this foxy guy! as desperate as they are, as well as their parents.. but still they never grow beyond the prejudices of stereotypes.. and racism.. and horoscopes.. and.. well that would make it a very long list, i guess!

Unknown said...

and the other reason would be..??

Amey said...

You will die a bachelor, man!
You are not getting any younger!

You should be a grief-counsellor or psychiatrist. I mean, with friends like you and all that... ;)

silverine said...

deepti: Thank you! :) Always a pleasure to get a comment from a fellow gal who understands! :)

Sriram: Thank you dear! :) Been a lil busy off late so posts will be delayed for another month or two :(

phoenix: Thank you! :) Yeah an MIT doesn't change anything I guess for some people!

claytonia voices: Good one! The possibilities are endless! :p

justo: Well said about the dowry part! :)

dhanush:So that is the raaz of your bachelorhood! :) Damn that Foxy. He had all of us fooled grrr

Usha: Very true!!

Amooma: And the reason is that such people shouldn't get married with such mind sets and prejudices!!

Amey: LOL!! And you should be a career counselor.

Safari Al said...

Poor gult. Guess he will go home and drown his sorrows in gongura.

P.S: I am not that old at all!



Abhi said...

Awesome post. As someone said it takes time to come up with such a post and anyone would wait for such a masterpiece.

"We lovingly call him Foxy" This line was truly awesome. I thought he was throwing clues at u to decipher his PROPOSAL, and u hit them back like anything :). Great post :D

Anonymous said...

OMG.... I think I have done a Foxy.

CarbonMonoxide said...

Poor Foxy. "You will die a bachelor, man!" =)

Anonymous said...

"They have a mind of their own!"

Wonderful reason for not getting married ;)

Anonymous said...

hey there. how goes? good post. i agree with iyer and dhanush though. SILVERINULU RAMULU VANGIPURAPPU VENKITASAI would have been one hell of a name:) cheers;)

Anonymous said...

oh come on!!!

don't call yourself the kid and the (38 yr old) guy as your grandpa... when you actually are being an (agony) aunt to this 38 yr old guy:P

Anonymous said...

It's again an extension of what my dad always said - "Vidhyabhyasam Vivarathinte Mandandham Alla", if I got the words right.. (not sure about manadandam.... Not the typical word you'd use among friends...)

Education is no guarantee for knowledge. And CERTAINLY not for an open mind.

But on the plus side, if he really is that good an MITian, maybe your fox guy can possibly make an android for himself... And he can program it... errr.... her to listen to what he says, interrupting only with periodic bursts of "Yes dear", "You are right, dear", and "Whatever you say, dear."

He MIGHT be easily convinced about the idea... once he realizes he can program her to cook, clean, and bear the burden of his surname, all with a painted smile imported directly from Japan...

Run it by him anyway. If not for him, for some random Gult gal you can save.

silverine said...

Safari Al: LOL!! Point noted! :)

Abhi: Thank you! :)

Aybuk hiawog: I think I should patent that name/term! :p

CO2: :p

silence killed: I guess it is among the new excuses! :)

espirit noir: Thank you! :)

Iyer Education: Sorry to break it to you but nothing of that sort here. :)

Hammy: Precisely! This guy is quite sweet actually. A pedagogue. And hence has lost touch with the real world. Looks at the world through his old parents eyes. But a good guy at heart. We will get him married by hook or by crook this year! It is one of our Corporate New Year resolution! :p

rk said...

You will die a bachelor, man!
...pottasu reply..=))

Anonymous said...

poor guy doesnt know mallu girls are worse than telugus in having a mind of their own:-)
nice song,didnt understand much,though.
listen to my fave kannada song now(not taking revenge,sure)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eu1PSkJp_Fw

Safari Al said...

Where exactly do you work? Just in case I become like Mr.Foxy Gult at 38, then I know where to apply for a job.

Philip said...

This guy has totally lost touch with reality or what? How else can anybody who knows you think that Mallu girls don't have a mind of their own? ;)

Amey said...

Career counsellor? I have better career options in mind ;)

mathew said...

As soon as I got back from a trip, I got to read this awesome post which gave me lot to laugh after a travel induced cold!!;-D

My fav line would be :-
""Why don’t you marry a non gult girl then? *under my breath* "A zombie perhaps?"


skar said...

Foxy: And….*waves his hand in circles*
Me: Buxom?

ROFL at your imagination!

Souparna said...

Ha Ha Ha!

Anonymous said...

silver comment: This guy is quite sweet actually. A pedagogue. And hence has lost touch with the real world. Looks at the world through his old parents eyes. But a good guy at heart.

I guess everyone has their quirks... It's not that these guys are bad... Just irritating... On one hand, one tries to look at them with pity.. "Oh, poor dear. He's still stuck in 1872. How sad. Let me humor him/ her." and that works most of the time...

BUT, there are times when you want to to go Patrick Bateman on them... Kabang...

Neena Padayatty said...

"My colleague like all Gult babies was named to ensure that no computer form in the world will have enough columns to accommodate his name."

Lol!...My cousin's married to a Telgu chechi..thankfully they stuck to the Malayali nomenclature for their daughter.

Anonymous said...

LOL and doesnt Foxy read this blog?

Macadamia The Nut said...

Foxy: You guys are so down to Earth and…
Me: And?
Foxy: And….*waves his hand in circles*
Me: Buxom?


MIT or wherever... some people don't get a joke do they? Or is it lack of common sense?

Hari said...

Poor geek dude trying to hit on an ebullient, intelligent, witty young lady...

God bless him! :-)

As always, insatiably funny! :D

Tony Sebastian said...

Nice one sil :)

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Poor guy! And here I thought he was about to propose :P

meenakshi said...

I also thought he was about to propose.

Awesome post btw.

silverine said...

Cain: Thank you! :)

Priya: I can see an increasing number of guys refusing dowry because the girl "will throw her weight around" :)

Safari AL: LOL!!! That is not gonna happen to you and when you are 38 I will be around that age too! You will need a young gal who will respectfully listen to you due to your age! :p

Philip: I think it is a case of grass is greener on the other side! :)

Amey: Ah! That was a counter suggestion! ;)

Mathew: Thank you! :)

Karthik: :p I did that to scandalize him actually!

Souparna: Thank you! :)

Hammy: Very true!

Neena: That kid is lucky! :p

Ms Cris: He only reads heavy tomes on technology! :)

Macademia: It is not that easy to get a joke! :)

silverine said...

Hari Shankar: Thank you! :)

Tony: Thanks buddy! :)

Sudipta and Fundoome: I guess it looks like that. We have this habit in office to go for a short walk with whoever is available after lunch! This was one such incident! :)

phoenix said...

Foxy: And….*waves his hand in circles*
Me: Buxom?
Foxy ( horrified): No!!! Noooo! I meant wholesome!

ROTFL!! Awesome post!

tintofblue said...

Have been a silent reader of your blog for ages. This one is a masterpiece.

Me: You will die a bachelor, man!

mirage said...

hi, have been following yours for a while now..

Great language and imagination!

Safari Al said...

It's ok man. Age no bar!!!!


Krish said...

quality sense of humor!
was blog hopping when i reached urs... cud not help myself but read nearly all of ur posts in 2 days[:)]

keep up the gud work!

Amey said...

Yeah, "interpreter of sarcasm" was not one of my choices ;)

moonstruckmoth said...

Been reading ur posts for quite smtime n they're hilarious as ever! Like the way u see humor in the most mundane...no wonder u have amassed quite a sizeable readership ;-)
BTW, m a Gult myself, but I still cldnt stop laffing! :)

Nandya said...



Cяystal said...

Hey Silverine,
New to your blog..and well,you have a neat space.

And this was like..awesome ;)

**I like you Mallu kinda girls

Lol at that!!
Loved it.!!
And btw do visit my blg whenever you have time,sweety :)

AnneK said...

You will die a bachelor, man! You are not getting any younger..

With friends like you, the poor guy needs no enemies. LOL. Loved the post.

Anonymous said...

hey, as always very humorously presented. But im disappointed at the comments, to see how no one thinks about what must be going through the guys mind !
If a woman were 38 and unmarried she would be thinking the same things I would presume !
The older you get, the harder it is to adjust to each other in a marriage.
Thats the reason parents try to get kids (men and women) married in their mid 20's.
I guess he wouldnt have had the same thoughts when he was 25 !
A succesful marriage as most of you would agree is one where both adjust to each other. Each pulling in a different direction doesnt work.
At 38 a person will find it very hard to change things in life.
A person who realises this is not a geek or an idiot.

If a guy who was 25 said the same things then I could understand most of the reactions.

silverine said...

Manoj: Thank you! :)

lostgal: Thank you dear! :)

mirage: Thank you! :)

SAfari Al: Then wish you best of luck!! :)

Krish: Thank you! :)

Amey: More like an interpreter of attempt to saracsm! ;)

moonstruckmoth: I am relived that you found it funny...as the post was a general post about a 38 year old man, who happened to be Gult! :)

Nandya: Thank you! :)

Ayushi: Thank you dear! I will drop in soon! :)

Annk: :p

Anon: You are peraps the only person who understood the post! Those were the exact points I was trying to highlight!! Thank you! :)

Amey said...

Now won't that be a good title for a nice book ;)

Godwin Francis said...

Well nice blog.. ive been reading your articles for quite long time now... just daring to comment now... :-)