Monday, May 23, 2011

Personal marketing

I remember Ramanujam (first name with held because I am too young to die) my first mentor in Marketing. Back in the days when I was a pony tailed Summer Intern, a Marketing Manager called Ramanujam (Motto: There is nothing personal in Marketing) saw great potential in me in Marketing. In fact he saw great potential in Marketing in almost everybody!

Ramanujam a.k. Jam: Srinivas, you are wasting your time doing whatever you are doing. You should be in marketing.
Srinivas: But Saar…
Jam: No buts my man. Come and meet me at 2 ‘o’ clock and I will teach you the basics of Marketing.
Srinivas: But…
Jam: What but? Do you want to spend the rest of your days walking around aimlessly and cooling your heels in that room?
Srinivas: But I am the AC mechanic saar and that is A/C control room saaar.
Jam: Err... gotta go, meeting..bye.

Ramanujam was a man who thought on his feet like a good marketing man. It was Ramanujam who inspired me to write Selling Snow to an Eskimo. And it is from him I learned that if you have it in you, you can even sell software to your mother, like he did. Apparently Selling Software to his Amma was also a piece of cake.

Jam: Amma I have nice software for you!
Amma: Aiyyayo! What will I do with this kanna!
Jam: Amma, you can put it on your computer and use it!
Amma: But you know I don’t own a computer kanna!
Jam: That is no problem Amma. I will tell our dealers to sell you one! It will only cost Rs. 40,000 Amma!
Amma: And what will I do with a computer!!
Jam: You can send me mails Amma. And you can send mails to Annan in the US!!
Amma: But I do not know how to use a computer!
Jam: I will tell our training vendor to give training Amma. It will only cost you Rs 5000
Amma: Hmm if you say so. So how much will this software cost.
Jam: Only Rs. 13, 500 Amma!
Amma: Aiyyo too much! You do not have any discounts!
Jam: We do err... I mean we don’t!
Amma: Sigh! Okay!
Jam: I want some water Amma.
Amma: Go get it yourself hmmph.
Jam: Amma please Amma!
Amma: Okay..wait here, I will get the water!
Jam (quickly removing Rs 1500/- from her purse): This will round off the figure nicely!
Amma: What did you say?
Jam: Err nothing Amma.
Amma: You are such a nice son!! Muah!
Jam (wiping amma drool from his face): Ugh! I know Amma *evil glint*

The boss is very proud of him and has promised him a promotion if he doesn't try and sell software to the boss's amma. Jam has not made any promises.

As the old Ramanjuma saying goes: There is nothing personal in Marketing heh heh. Mind it!!


mathew said...

LOL!! good one!
reminds me of ex-friends turned speak asia types and bothering me no end!!

Bikram said...

He he he :) nice one ...

and I liked the above comment tooo..

we get this selling everywhere now


Nona said...

Nice one!

Harish P I said...

lol.. that was a hilarious post :-)

Prathima said...

Very nice post

Zahid said...

Returned here after a long time. Nothing has changed. hilarious as ever.

Selling software to Amma. :)
Marketing for AC mechanic :)
Name withhelf for fear of dying young :)

Blunt Edges said...

Hahaha! The world needs more of Mr.Ramanujams to make the work place more fun ;)

hammy said...

Well, I may have the cure... or at least an insurmountable challenge for your Ramanujam. I know... or used to know a guy... let's call him An. Sure, calling him An would make him sound like a girl, but he's still approve the economic use of letters.

If An had an alter-ego, I'd have labelled him Captain Economy. He's the guy who'd squeeze toothpaste back into the tube. He's the guy who'd hoodwink the bus conductor out of the Re 1 students fare. Although I don't have any solid reason to suspect it, I wouldn't be surprised if he reused old worksheets as toilet paper.

It should be interesting to see your guy trying to sell anything to my guy.

"When an unstoppable force meets an immovable object..." Or when Ramanujam meets An, it should start some fireworks. As a matter of fact, if this is ever attempted, I would suggest you carry backup umbrellas and raincoats... even if you're indoors. Better safe than sorry.