Sunday, November 29, 2009

Formatted aggression

I have this old acquaintance who used to work in the ad agency that takes care of our advertising work. He works for a publishing house now. He is a really innocent and simple Gult guy. Though he is married with a baby, he is like a schoolboy, very gullible and trusting. The other day he pings me with exciting news.

KK: Guess what?
Me: You did not win the lottery?
KK: No yaar! I formatted a Chinese document!!
Me: Yay!
KK: I know. Exciting isn’t it?
Me: Very! Bye.
KK: It was entirely in Chinese!!
Me: Wow! Super exciting dude!
KK: This is the first time we are doing it!
But I managed. I did not know what the headline was and what the sub title.
But I just guessed and put it.
Me: Fantastic! Now let me get back to work.
KK: Yes! The client was very happy.
Me: And who was the Client?
KK: ********
Me: Hmmm for all you know that might be the Chinese Plan to disintegrate India.
KK: Huh!!
Me: You know, it was all over the news some time back!
KK: Really?
Me: You just cleaned it up for them.
KK: What do you mean?
Me: I mean, now they can do it properly.
KK: Don’t joke yaar!
Me: I am just saying!
KK: *silence*
Me: I gotta go now.
KK: Wait!!
Do you think it could be some confidential document?
Me: Could be.
Who knows Chinese in India btw.
KK: You are joking right?
Me: hmm
KK: Right?
Me: Maybe it is not.
But if it is, then I got to hand it over to the Chinese.
KK: What do you mean?
Me: They are particular of their plan document formatting. I mean Heading 1, Paragraph, Bullets, Indentation, Line Spacing, and Page Breaks and then… ATTACK!!!
That’s why they are a Superpower!!
KK: Hey Anjali. Don’t scare me yaar.
Me: Forget it. I was just thinking aloud.
KK: But it can happen, cant it?
Me: Yes!!
KK: :-S
Me: Bye!

After the conversation K spent considerable time with Google translator with no luck I am told. But he is now well versed with the Chinese words for “India, Attack, War, Break-up, Chinese people want to dominate india, China army size, China Army Size vs India Army Size.” etc. You guessed right. Instead of pasting Chinese words from the document into the translator tool, he used the translator to create the above mentioned English words in Chinese and then looked for them in the document.

Now all I need to do is convince him to join the Chinese Army. Something tells me it won’t be that difficult a task. But if I do then I demand that I get the National Disaster Management Award 2009!!

This is my 300th post! Yay! Happy week folks!


scorpiogenius said...

300 posts! Whew...

Congrats lady.. and keep going. :)

Narendra Naramala said...

heyy..300 ha..!! great work..

hmm..i cant resist doing this again though..

Please marry meee...!

btw i'm a gult too..but not as innocent as the guy u mentioned though... :P

thomas said...

Congrats! :) But I think this is going to be your least productive year in terms of post count.

Anonymous said...

that's a cool track. in case if u want a high quality mp3...

Rajesh Mohan said...

300 posts wow! All the best wishes. Keep writing more.

PJC said...

300!! Good goin'!! More importantly.. keep going!! :)

sandeep said...

congrats on ur 300th. i had my 200th yesterday ... btw :)

phoenix said...

ROTFL!!! Here is a quote "“While intelligent people can often simplify the complex, a fool is more likely to complicate the simple.”

And congrats on the 300.

Arun said...

Jokes apart, why don't u solicit votes? Even a 2 line post with the link will do, solicit or not. I already voted for u, don't make me feel like a duffer now.

skar said...

What fun!@chat transcript & ROFL@translating the english to chinese and searching in the doc ==)))

Congratulations on your 300th post! You've given us many unforgettably hilarious posts and I hope you will keep 'em coming :)

Nave said...

:D you are a real entertainer, you know that... in all these times, good, bad, frenzy or whatever, i come read your posts and you never disappoint me :D humorous.. hilarious as always... :D Congo on the milestone!! Keep it coming ;)

The Wanderer said...

Oh My God! Anjali, you are such a brat! Poor fellow KK!

Syam Nath S said...

lol.. congrats
ive been dormant so long
back to writing :-)

cheers.. keep writing.. its good to read urs...we have expectations :)

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on 300! Most of them are gems! Can't say anything more! :)

Sriram said...

Whoa silvie... Happy 300th post! May the mayhem continue!

hammy said...

Happy 300, Silv, and here's to 300,000 more... not that you quit at 300,000, you know... Just saying...

"They are particular of their plan document formatting. I mean Heading 1, Paragraph, Bullets, Indentation, Line Spacing, and Page Breaks and then… ATTACK!!!"

I knew it. The dreaded wordprocessing army. I've been dreading this for decades... Decades! Yes, even as an infant, in between bottles of warm milk, I'd lay awake thinking... "Oh, my God, what if they finish formatting the documents? What's gonna stand between us and a full scale paragraphed invasion of the country? And what do I have to do to signal there's far too much sugar in this bottle?"

Even in such heightened desperation, I took solace in the simple fact that they're not going to find someone who'd format their documents in time... And now, that one factor contributing to my blissful sleep... is no longer applicable.. all thanks to your friend.

I hope he's proud of himself.

Lazith Aziz said...

Kongrajulashoooooooooooons!!! on the 300th baby! i think you need to throw a pardy to the regular readers (read as victims) at this proud moment to thank all of us ha! may be according to the number of years they have been with POOMANAM! good going!keep writing ...

Anonymous said...

300 ....congrats anjali ..way 2 go :D

@ KK --- hmmm another victim ....y can't these guys grow up :D
Between all the best for Indibloggies pole :)

Destiny's child... said...

you lil evil soul! ;)
and congrats for completing the 300th post :)

Nona said...

Happy 300! :)

Have you checked on KK?

May be the RAW is already interrogating for googling India, China, attack, disaster, what not!!!

May be Chinese govt has already installed a spyware on his machine!!!

Good job! :)

Emmanuel said...

Congrats on the 300th milestone. :)

Sorry for the delay. Hope you won't mind it.

hitch writer said...

Soooper and yes keep going !!!! we are loving it !!!!!

Mrs Sreeja Menon said...

God bless you.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the 300th post :)

And also for Indibloggies Nomination :)

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the 300th post :)

And also for Indibloggies Nomination :)My best wishes!!!

Grayquill said...

I read a comment 300 posts really? Good job.
Now lets talk about that evil streak you seem to carry around with you. When did you first start having these symptoms? Have you thought about talking to your priest or bishop or spiritual advisor? HA HA - Fun post - I am glad we are not friends. I think I would appear in your blog as fodder for the blog monsters.

Emmanuel said...

Voted :)

Naresh Krishnan said...

Your 300th. Congratulations!
I'd gift you the star cast of the Hollywood flick, 300.

Abhi said...

Now that's an achievement. I've been following your blog since the last 2 years or more and each post has made me laugh with joy which I won't have known otherwise. I thank you for the years of fun and all the smiles you provided.

Thanks a lot. Looking forward to the 500th, 1000th and the 2000th posts :)

Useless Bugger said...

Bravo! You deserve the highest Chinese civilian award for this post. ( A plate of Chinese chopsuey with only one chopstick)

300th post? *Applause* * Applause*

Go ahead, take off your helmet, look towards the Heavens, point your bat at the pavilion and the stands and acknowledge the cheers on a well deserved triple century!

Congratulations! Keep goin ol' gal :-)

Rajlakshmi said...

Congratulations on the 300th post :)
and that was hillarious... Poor KK must me wondering if he did anything wrong :)

silverine said...

Thank you folks for your wishes! :)

Aniket Thakkar said...

Seriously! How do you meet these guys??!!

I wonder if they are attracted by you! :D :D

Congrats on the 300!

In the words of the messenger-dude-i-dont-remember-the-name-of in 300 - This is madness! :D