Sunday, May 11, 2008

Shopping with stupids!

Drastic times calls for drastic measures! And if you were in my shoes, better pray that the drastic measure is not a couple of dim witted gals!!! Right now I need a vacation to recover from the debilitating after effects of massive disappointments! *sigh*

The saga of disappointments began at a sale! This particular store in one of those Bangalore malls was having a 50% Sale last week. And the three of us, that is me, mom and my second bro M, dropped in to see what they were selling for 50% that was actually 25 %. I mean most of these stores will wait for approximately one week after they open new stocks and then hike up their prices by 200% and announce a 50% sale. Then they clutch their stomachs and laugh all the way to the bank while we scramble and push and shove to buy what we think is a steal. Come to think of it, it is a steal! Either way!

Everything was mostly stolen err...sold out when we reached the store and I decided that I would sit down and wait for the other two to finish their shopping. Now shopping with family members is an interesting experience. It is so interesting that I normally carry Popcorn and soft drinks to sit and watch the non stop entertainment that follows. (In hindsight I should have carried something stronger to drink this time!)

So here I was chomping on the Popcorn, sipping a Tropicana Litchi Twirl rather noisily and looking around aimlessly when I spied D, a wannabe Mrs M. My ears perked up like a puppy scenting a packet of Pedigree being opened...well not exactly but I did sit up with hope brimming in my eyes! All I need was a tail to complete the picture…a touching picture of a rather sweet little puppy with high hopes of its elder sibling puppy marrying that nice gal puppy and leaving the house leaving her his nice room overlooking the vineyard. (The room is always larger on the other side… old family saying.)

D came into the Shoes section all smiles at having spotted M but before she could say “Hi” she spotted my Amma. In front of my horrified eyes, she ran into the Men’s inner wear section, stopped short of a display case and refused to turn around. She stood staring at the display without seeing a thing hoping against hope that she would not be spotted. I groaned. I mean, if I have to get rid of M then this silly girl should not do suicidal and risky acts like being caught in a men’s innerwear section by prospective mom in law to be!! Gimme a break!!! But it was too late. Petrified the poor gal stuffed the carry bag with what looked like a size XXXL of Jockey and ran to the Payout counter. She paid hastily and was out of the place in a jiffy…sweating profusely.

I was heartbroken!! The only other way I can get M out of that room is by dragging him by a bulldozer and that is not feasible as I do not know how to drive one. So my only hope was this silly stupid girl!!!

Sighing I settled down to the monotony of watching shoppers shop when I espied T, another admirer. My hopes soared again. I said a quick round of Hail Mary’s and Our Fathers and crossed my fingers for added effect. (If a wandering sage were to come and ask me stand on my head, I would have done that too!)

T sashayed in waving and smiling gloriously till she saw my Amma! The smile froze and she did a 180 degree about turn. Before I could say “noooooo” she was face to face with the Maternity Clothes line. I groaned again! The room, with its mauve walls that I would paint and the matching curtains that I would buy after T and M are married and gone, seemed to disappear before my very inner eyes. T frantically pretended to shop and when she couldn’t take the tension anymore, grabbed a few maternity dresses and ran to the Payout counter. I wanted to cry! You DO NOT want prospective mom in laws to see you buying maternity clothes. *sob*

After T’s departure everything was humdrum again. Then V came in…and walked right out as she saw my Mom some where in the periphery of her vision. The experienced gal she is, she didn’t need to turn her head to ascertain and get caught.

While I was sulking at the thought of going back to my cramped room, in walked H. My hopes soared again!! This time I prayed to all the Angels and Saints that Mom stays put in Foodworld. She has this uncanny ability to appear when M is about to say the worst pick up line in the world. How do you expect that poor guy to get hitched and clear the room for me huh? Hummph!!!

H was lucky. She could say a “Hi” before Mom landed up from somewhere. The poor girl had no place to run. While my mom looked at M quizzically, a hush seem to fall over the bustling floor. And while the silence strained to hear what H would say, H went red, stammered and said “Turn right for the Greeting Card section, Sir!”


p.s To forget my dejection, I have decided to go on a vacation. Hopefully when I return, I will be back to my cheerful self with a license to drive a bulldozer to boot. See you all later folks. Have a nice week!

p.p.s I voted!! I wish I could show you the finger err… I mean a photo proof, but today is Mothers Day and I have decided to be kind to mine. Happy Mothers Day to all the mommies! Mines up for sale.


mathew said...

I thought i was watching a cartoon show!!;-D

“Turn right for the Greeting Card section, Sir!”
Lol!! she is the girl!! nice one..

btw have a great vacation..summer around the corner, aint a better time to chill!

Anonymous said...

am i the 1st one to comment?

Anonymous said...

damn! mathew .... i'll beat u next time!

silverine ... with the long line of admirers 'M' has, atleast one of them with a gud presence of mind (Turn right for the Greeting Card section, Sir!), I dont think u have any reasons to worry :)

Dhanya said...

Oh my god.. That's called crisis management:D

And a happy mothers day to all mom's including you ;) Hope ur puppies and squirrel gave u some mothers day gift.. :) Btw how much is the price u r quoting?

Abhi said...

Hey tht was another hilarious post. I love the posts where u mention about ur love for ur brother's. Reminds me of my sis. We also had this 'Room looks big on the other side' saying, but only that my sis ended up having the bigger room. It was amazing to read that ur bro has a sis who's ths anxious to get him married off. Don't know if mine's also planning like this to get rid of me.:-) Loved the quick reply from the last gal. Really someone who shd have been ur sis-in-law. What to do. U just missed her by the whiskers.:-) Hope luck favours u better in the next STEAL, I mean SALE.:)

Reflections said...

hehehe it was a good read. Cant believe D V H T...all came in one after the other, just at the same time ur family was there. Oh I forgot, it was the sale which brought them in;-P.

Thank U:-)......for the mothers day wishes.

Annemarie said...

"I will be back to my cheerful self with a license to drive a bulldozer to boot"

From the Institute of Heavy Machinery perhaps? :-)

Hilarious read!

Unknown said...

the odds ( i mean, 4 girls, one afternoon at the mall) say ull get that room befor emuch longer. unless ur brother doesnt cooperate. in which case better get that licence quick!!

Unknown said...

Maybe u cud find a bigger room by finding an M soon ;)and im sure u'll have a better answer than "The greeting card section"....It will be easier than the bulldozer license.I bet u'll never complaint about ur crammed room now....:D
Have a great vacation!

Deepti said...

LOL ... too good

Anonymous said...

Thanks... Now I know what is going on in my sisters' mind when they hear a girl's name mentioned or when they see a picture of my friends. The quizzing is endless. And, it also explains why my youngest sister is in such a hurry to see me married.

Karthik said...

Wow..Usually all this happens when prospective guys come looking for girls..LOL..Nice Post

skar said...

Going by the demand for M, I'd say put M up for auction. I think you'll make enough money to quit your job, paint the whole moon mauve, and still have enough left to live your life on the moon and commute back and forth for daily necessities :)

Sriram said...

hehe good one that "Turn right for the Greeting Card section, Sir!”

I bet M would have made the decision now :)

Philip said...

Did you know that you actually don't need a license to drive bulldozer, roadrollers and other such small toys? Don't believe me? Give it a try and see. (psst..inform me what happens afterwards)

This story sounds so fantastic (as in out of a fantasy) that I think it must be true. But please, please tell me why must some guys have all the girls? :p

silverine said...

@ Red Phoenix: Henceforth please do not leave comments that has no relevance to the post. I do not appreciate snide personal comments and cheap suggestions!!!

ap said...


M seems to be the latest heartthrob in bglore!

Greeting card girl surely rocks-great presence of mind...

Anonymous said...

Awesome.... :)

The last girl made a complete wreck out of herself.. poor thing!

silverine said...

ms taggart: And the Oscar goes to you for getting it right!! :)

Amey said...

For a guy you make out to be such a devil, M sure has a lot of admirers who make a fool out of themselves.

BTW, just sitting around (noisily) sipping drinks is not going to get you that room. You have to do something active.

Seema said...

Seems like Mr. M is quite a catch.. wonder whether his admirers know about his "wicked" sister :P

Superficial Gibbering prater said...


Can i get an intro of Mr.M???...I'd like to get a few tips.Lets put a transition plan like "How to win 10 girls in 3 days" or some thing of that sort :P Almost all Alphabets from A to Z seem to be his admirers. Poor me :(

Anonymous said...

You shouldn't be fretting about this. Looking at the long line of alphabets waiting in line with a sack to jump up and bag M, chances are one of them will click, and you can have your dream room wherein you can sit and wonder how to get your next brother's room...

And btw, What's the current bid on your mom? send the ebay link... :D

Unknown said...

**Mines up for sale

Have tried that without success many many times..... LOL

silverine said...

Mathew: "she is the girl!!" Have conveyed your vote of confidence to him :|

Sandeep: First or second, thanks a lot for taking the effort to comment :)

Dhanya: You defined it well gal! "Crisis Management" it is!! :)

Abhi: lol! That gal seems to be a hit with the guys! :))

Nancy: Thank you! :)

Phoenix: Thank you ! :)

Amooma: I am trying real hard for that license :p

Neena: *horrors* How can you suggests something like that to a fellow blogger!!!!! :(

Deepti: Thank you dear! :)

aybuk hiawog: Whatay name!! err looks like I have given the game away :(

Kathtik: Guess the trend is reversing nowadays. Watch your back! ;)

Karthik S: I tried that...and failed. *sigh*

the smokin wdm2: Kindly explain to this fossilized person what your blog name means! :|

Philip: Why must some guys have all the girls? Don't be modest! :)

AP: Another vote for greeting card girl! :p

Amey: I don't think those gals made a fool of themselves. It was kinda sweet!

SR: I am the surprise package! :p

superficial guy: LOL!! I didn't notice the alphabet thingy!! :))

hammy: The current bid on my mom is zero as everyone seems to be wanting to sell off theirs! :(

Iceman: LOL!!!! That makes me feel good! :))

Sriram said...

@sylverine: ha.. i was wondering why you didnt ask till now.. it may be traced to my "crazy" hobby, rather passion for trains and locomotives(besides the usual cars, jet-planes and stuff) :D
The WDM2 is a common diesel loco, which obviously smokes. More info on that and about this breed of 'railnuts' at - always after food(choking hazard).

Sriram said...

but besides that I guess I'm just a normal 17 year old :D

thomas said...

“Turn right for the Greeting Card section, Sir!” -- That's the perfect girl to be your sister in law. :D

silverine said...

the smokin wdm2: That site is awesome. I admit to a fascination for train engines! :)

Thomas: :)

Sriram said...

@sylverine: Oh great.. join the crazy club!