Saturday, July 07, 2007

This day that year!

All this birthday thingie has put me in a severe thinking mode. So that is a lot of grey cells squeaking in protest at the unaccustomed work. Serves them right too. All play and no work makes silverine's grey cells a dull bunch of grey cells. Which is a horrible thought especially when my aim is to be a scintillating conversationalist and brilliant raconteur and some other big words in the dictionary.

Growing older has made me very philosophical. I mean I am growing everyday like everyone. My cells are as amorous as anybody else's and are copulating and multiplying with the zest of an Indian population. But then one day when your folks put a cake in front of you and say “tadaaaaaan time to celebrate one years achievement of your cells” you are faced with questions for which you have no answer. Like why am I here…. when I should ideally be at a Hawaiian beach with a Cocktail in one hand and John Abraham in another? And other deep questions like why the heck do we celebrate birthdays? I can imagine our parents celebrating our birthday because they are proud of producing a little legacy that looks like a shriveled uppumanga (mangoes preserved in brine). But why should I celebrate my birthday? I didn’t do anything naah to come into the world? What I am trying to say is pure and simple. I DONT WANNA DO ANY WORK ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! :p

Talking of shriveled uppumanga I could never understand the fuss people make of new born babies!! Do you look at a shriveled uppumanga and say "soooo cute”? Besides unlike newborn babies, shriveled uppumangas don’t cry and poop and pee 24 hours!! And it can be used in a variety of ways when the wife is not talking to you like as a neat bread spread!

The year I was born was a momentous year. Several events rocked the World and humanity in general and it's repercussions are felt even today!! It was the year...

…the CBI sent their sleuths to Bangkok, Amsterdam, Hawaii, French Riviera etc to crack down on people indulging in some harmless fun. The sleuths never came back. The post mortem report said that they had died of “Debauchery” whatever that means. Many politicians on “Educational Tours” have also died of same mysterious ailment brrrr Of course I was too young to be an informer those days and point them to the kingpin, a certain Alexis living in the CET Men’s Hostel.

…when Mathew looked at the cute little gal in the neighbourhood and uttered his very first words to his mom. " Amma I won’t pee in my pants anymore. It is so uncool!". (Of course he didn’t see his mom and the cute little gals mom doing high fives behind his back).

…when Shruti's parents were growing more and more amazed to see their precocious daughter growing up to be a sensitive beautiful girl with a flair for words.

…when Brijesh's folks had already discovered what a bright and socially conscious son they have.

…when Angel Doc's parents were proudly waiting for their beautiful daughter to finish medical college and wow the medical fraternity with her …blog!!! I mean besides Mind Curry and Angel Doc how many docs do you see who write so beautifully? ( Wokay as of today I am sticking to Homeopathic medicines. Old jungle saying: “An enraged doctor is more deadly than a swarm of angry bees though not as deadly as a swarm of African bees”)

….when Jiby's parents were secure in their knowledge that their son was going to become a Priest and perhaps even a Saint at Loyola. (His poor folks dreamt of free boarding and lodging at the Vatican and perhaps a dip at the centrally heated Papal Swimming Pool and some quality time at the Papal Summer Palace after their jaunt on the Papal Luxury yacht on a tidy stipend from the Papal Bank. The jaunt on the Papal Luxury yacht was hurriedly removed from the itinerary by his mom when she came to know that the ladies in the G String bikini on the Papal Yacht were not an Order of Nuns as she previously thought.

...when Kusum's kindergarten teachers were debating if Arsenic or Potassium Cyanide were the quicker way to get rid of her. err...they were not planning to poison the irresistibly cute but naughty little Sindhi gal, but consume it themselves you see!

…when Di looked at her mom and uttered her first word: >:D<
Her mother said: Ente Ammme!! What language is our child speaking!!!
To which Div said: =((

Unknown to them their gardener, a certain Yahoo Chan had observed the whole conversation. He left the job soon after and went on to become a millionaire.

...when Flaashgordon's Dad and Mom were making their son vacuum the house blissfully unaware that their son would be a renowned Hindi maestro who would drive Hindi pundits to collective suicide but not before they tried every trick in the book to eliminate him.

…when Iyer Education’s appa, fed up of complaints from moms of little gals he promised to take “I, Iyer Iyest” was searching for him to give him a sound spanking!

( This post is a humble acknowledgment of the stars of this post for this!)


Third Eye said...

I am an intruder.But I cant resist typing a "thanks" for that nice blog.
Philosophically the day fusion of the ova and the spermatozova occured happened your Birthday.I too have often wondered in the same lines you have thought.Any way wish you a long journey with the grey cells..till they grey grey need an amigdala too silverine to scribble this...

Alexis said...

That was a really hilarious post. Laughed and laughed till my whole body ached... So the birthday celebrations has recharged the grey, yellow and pink cells in your brain and now they are on steroids...Absolutely brilliant!!!

But how come, I am the only villain in that list :-)))

silverine said...

francier: Thanks for the appreciation. Scientifically my birthday should be nine months after what you described :p

alexis: Thank you!!! And err what to do you are the "only" person in the list with such rich and varied experiences :))

Abhishek said...

It was only till 2005 that people rejoiced the fact the Shek was born. Free booze, lots and lots, makes people do that! Till that day, I didnt know why I should celebrate my birthday other than eating free cake.

Di said...

he he..ur welcome dearie..more credit to mathew though!! :) and yeah i do overuse emoticons ,dont i?! :O Oops! i did it again! :P

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

missed it. But hey, Happy birthday!
SERIOUSLY, belated birthday wishes are more fun , acsue you get them even after the day's gone.

now tomorrow's my little sis's birthday.. i need to keep a reminder.

mathew said...

too come u generate so much humour from thin air!!!

Jiby and his papal ambitions..that was so creative!!paavam Alexis he the TERROR!! lol!! ;-P

Nanditha Prabhu said...

wishing you a belated happy birth day!
great post!

flaashgordon said...

hehe ... good one!! esp Jiby's papal yacht was too creative :-)

Btw ahem, did u miss anyone? ;-)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday. If you do wish on the candles, please wish that Lufthansa will get me back my luggage - or maybe that's asking too much.

Jiby said... be never know...for this public humiliation, if i still manage to get thet deyvavili which has eluded me so far, my first action will be to recommend your excommunication from the church.

shruti said...

hey this is a really cute post ...but i was never precocious ..infact I was an introvert who hardly opened her mouth till class 10 . Neither could I ever write a proper essay when in School though there was a lot going on in my mind . But then God has a master plan for each of us .
But good imagination you have , really like that !

Anonymous said...

how in the world did you come to know that my dad hits/spanks me till date? you are PSYCHIC...

anyways... belated happy birthday...

btw... and all moms and their daughters are happy that their lives are safe and sound that iyer got married...

Anonymous said...

love your blogs, totally addicted to it and I feel so sad when you dont post. thank you so much for all the smiles and warm feelings you evoke !! god bless you on your birthday!


SP said...

God bless!

anN-series said...

i am a regular reader of ur posts and i think u have a GREAT sense of humor..
(reading this silverine thinks- 'd'uh tell me something new')

claytonia vices said...

"biggest brat in blogosphere, Silverine" ---jiby

Yeah, I agree. I discovered your blog today and am gonna haunt it regularly now! :)

Amazing humour, enough to blast the gloomy monsoon clouds away...

silverine said...

shek: From the part of Kerala I am from, booze starts flowing the moment we are born :p

di: :p oops its contagious :))

toothless wonder: Thank you dear and wish your sister a very happy birthday!! And heres wishing you the good sense to buy her a gift she will like :p

mathew: Thank you and I am hoping that Jiby wont get the devavili now :))

nandita: Thank you!! :)

flaash: Hope Jiby sees the humor in it and wont carry out the threats :P And thousand apologies for missing you out. Have rectified the same :)

browser: Thank you and ...pigs will fly but getting your luggage back is next to impossible :))

Jiby: Lol!!!

shruti: Thank you dear :)

iyer education: lol!!! I guess you poor appa can finally enjoy some peace :))

Sowmya: Thank you :)

SP: Oye madam, god bless and all that will not do. You owe me a treat!!!

ann-series: Thank you so much :)

claytonia vices: Thank you dear :) If I am not mistaken you came to blog long time back while searching for the meaning of the malayalam word "poda patti" :)

Anonymous said...

chan didnt become a millionaire but he did become wiser

blated bday wishes

Anonymous said...

@Anon: Wise men don't declare their wisdom nor leave anonymous comments.

claytonia vices said...

oh God! That was your blog??? That was more than a year ago!! :)

hope and love said...

u naughty girl..!!
but u r forgiven.. cos u used the word 'beautiful'

Anonymous said...

For a second there i almost thought you were about to give us a sentimental 'i am growing old post'... but then you came out all guns blazing.. as always :) Wonderful! you and your friends that is.

Praveen said...

belated happy returns of the day :), sorry have been too caught up in work, so havent been here for some time and so missed the occasion

i remember blogging long back with this exact title, dont remember what was the context (need to check), dont worry, thers no copyright and i wont be suing you :)

pophabhi said...

Belated Birthday!!

Appreciate the praises showered on Uppu Manga. I, as a branch secretary of Uppu Manga fans association, Kothiyistan thank you for spreading the message in blogworld.

As a compesation to Alexis, I order you to send 2 Kgs of Uppu Manga to his house. :)
Great Post! :)))

silverine said...

annie: Thank you :)

Anon: Echo James!

claytonia vices : I have a good memory you see :)

HnL: I was talking of the other docs who will be after my blood as I have only mentioned you and MC as good writers :))

sreejith: Thank you and yes, my friends are really wonderful and I am grateful to have them as my friends :)

Praveen: thank you :)

Abhi: Can I join the association? I am a life long fan :) And Alexis will be compensated as per thy orders Branch Secretary lol!!

Annemarie said...

JK~ nuff said!!! :-)

Annemarie said...

@Chanel: Thank you dear ;-)

Kusum Rohra said...

Alexis! you are definitely not the only villain on this list!

And Silverine, I was hoping this part of me remains hidden from the world!

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Anonymous said...

:O Is your birthday on July 07 as well?

What an honour! :P

Ummm no need to approve this comment, considering the traffic you get I'd rather not advertise when my birthday is! :D