Thursday, October 26, 2006

When cupid strikes and misses

From time immemorial, guys have used every possible method to catch the attention of the gals they fancy. Some are unique, some are not. Of course there are the suave and smooth guys who have no problems in charming the gals off their feet.

On the other hand you have guys who have no clue on how to approach a gal or are too shy and often end up making fools of themselves. I shall give a few examples of the second type of guys and their tactics that I have encountered over the years.

The Romantic Stalker: This type is usually found on a bike, hovering around the bus stand around the same time your bus is due to arrive. He will be hovering around when your college bus drops you off in the evening too. Will comb his hair and preen in the bike mirror from time to time. He will follow you home in his bike and then turn it gracefully around the moment you enter the gate and vanish in a trice.

Rating: Harmless

The Bus Stand Romeo: This type waits at your bus stop. You ignore him. He doesn’t mind. He knows when your college bus arrives and departs and may be found checking his watch anxiously if you are a trifle late. He looks at you askance when you finally arrive at the bus stand with an expression that says “where were you all this time?”. Any moment you feel he may lift his feet like a dog and pee on the lamp post closest to you, to mark his territory.

Rating: Annoying but harmless

The Phone Romeo: This type has no self confidence but considers himself in lurve. So his friends will jump into the fray to help him out by getting your phone number using sisters or GF’s studying in your college.

Him: Hello?
Me: Yes?
Him: um…errr…. (whispers heard in the background like “ask her her name” etc.)
Him: err….my name is Prasad (muffled curses in the background from friends)
Me: Yes, Mr. Prasad?
(muffled directions being given in the background like “ask her her name you dolt!!!)
Him: err…what is your name?
Me: What?!?!!?
Him: *gulp* err…hmmmm….I mean what is the name of the subjects you have taken in college?
(sounds of expletives and palms slapping foreheads by the support services gathered around the Romeo).

Rating: Absolutely harmless as he will lose courage after the first attempt and the several well aimed kicks by friends who spent many an hour coaching him for this singular performance.

The Dog Loving Romeo: This type probably doesn’t know what a dog is but since he is seen you walking your dogs may do a quick read up and strategically place himself on your regular walking route.

Him: Hello…nice dog…I just love dogs.
Me: Thank you!
Him: This is a Great Dane (a big dog) isn’t it? Nice breed. I know quite a lot about them.
Me: No, this is a Lhasa Apso ( a very small dog)
Him: Oh!!!

Rating: Harmless. After loss of face he may never come back, but the effort was cute and commendable, though lacked sufficient research.

The SMS Romeo: Another poor soul with your phone number.

SMS at 12 midnight: Hi!
Me on SMS: Who is this?
Him: Guess!!! :)
Me: No idea!
Him: I was standing at the college gate in a checked shirt.
Me: Ok, I didn’t notice.
Him: Can we talk?
Me: No!
Him: ??
Him: ????????

Rating: Harmless if ignored. If he persists then I hand the phone over to my rather staid and sedate eldest brother. He will patiently and in a kind tone sermonize the guy about concentrating on his studies and focusing on his career and not wasting his youth etc and soon you will distinctly hear the guy snoring at the other end. There would be no more SMS after that.

The Kishore Kumar Romeo: This type has a song for every second, hour, time of the day.

As you are walking towards him: Thumko dekha tho yeh khayal aaya, zindagi dhoop tum ghana saaya.
As you come abreast: Mujse shaadi karogi, Mujse shaadi karogi.
As you pass him by: Ruk ja o jaanewaali rukjaa, mein hun raahi theri manzil ka.

Rating: Harmless and very entertaining. Uses a good mix of old and new songs and sings well, mostly unemployed, but gallant. Best ignored unless you want to accept his proposal and plan on singing “ Mera jeevan kora kaagaz kora is reh gaya” for the rest of your life.

The Love Note Romeo: This guy is a rather confident person but not confident enough to face you and tell you his feelings. He will send you a letter written in single ruled paper torn from his notebook and the content will usually be like this:

From the time I seeing you, I am loving you. You are vary butiful. I know many boys after you, but I loving you truly. I want to meet you. My name is pyarelal. I love you vary much. bye

Rating: Harmless.

The Juvenile Romeo: This type will shout out suddenly when you pass him by and the resultant attention tickles him no end. He will talk loudly, giggle, push his friends and act like a complete jerk expecting you to be impressed.

Rating: Bloody fool!!

Office Romeos: You get bumbling Romeos in the office too. I will describe some specimens from the corporate world here.

The Internal Messenger Romeo: As soon as you reach the office and switch on the computer your IM will flash a message.

Him: Good Morning!
Me: Good Morning.
Him: Breakfast kazhicho? ( had your breakfast)
Me: yep
Him: What was the menu?
Me: Sorry gotta go for a meeting, bye.

He will of course keep messaging and you minimize the window and ignore him for the rest of the day. In the evening you open the messenger and see the long monologue and reply with a “oops sorry was in a meeting whole day, going home bye” and shut down the comp.

The Traveling Romeo: Apparently…this guy is forever traveling and hence will drop by your seat often on the pretext of giving you Chocolates (from US/UK), Murukku (Chennai), Rasgulla (Kolkata) etc. You realize when you check the packet that they have been bought from Nilgiri’s Departmental Store. He keeps dropping in till you are gagging and probably throws his hand up in despair when you don’t return his affections. After which he probably writes to his mother “maa mein shaadi karne ke liye thaiiyaar hun”. You will have peace of mind for three months after which the routine starts all over again *groan* or till attrition gives you a break.

The Chocolate/Toffee Romeo: This type will leave a chocolate or a toffee in your cubicle from time to time. You try desperately to find out who he is but he is too shy to show himself. When it stops you know he is joined another company.

The Devdas Romeo: This is the silent suffering in love kind type, that hangs around your floor though his cubicle is in the next building just to get a glimpse of you. He is so miserably in love that when you are leaving the office in the evening, you can see him plastered to the window glass trying to catch a last glimpse of you. If he happens to be in the lunch que with you, then the guys standing ahead of him will, in sync move back to allow him to stand next to you which is as good as attaining ‘nirwana’ for him. If you look at him he blushes and gets nervous. You heave a sigh a relief when he joins another company. Attrition has its benefits I must say!!

The Linguist Romeo: This guy doesn’t beat around the bush.

Him: You are a Malayalee? I love Malayalam!! I have been learning the language since two months now. Will you teach me?
Me: That’s nice. So how much Malayalam do you know?
Him: I know vanakkam ( a Tamil word) and oota (a Kannada word)
Me: Those are not Malayalam words.
Him: Oh! *sheepish grin*

Won’t trouble you after being caught red handed.

These are a few examples and gals usually have their own way of dealing with them. All girls would have had a brush with at least one of these Romeos at some time or the other. If not for originality one must commend them for making the effort. And If you know of any other ‘genius methods’ guys use, feel free to use the comments section.


Kusum Rohra said...

First Romeo!! Oh I mean First Comment!!!

Completely can relate to most of the romeos' descriptions and tactics here!!

Brillianto, as usual :D

I still can't belive I am first, this must be my lucky day, usually I get here and there are already some 1.57 million comments here!

Amey said...

Me second (or third)...

So this was the post you were mentioning. Great classification. But if I may, I want to draw the attention of all girls to the ratings section, which mostly says harmless ;)

I know some more types of Romeos, but I will not be the one to snitch on mankind ;)

crumbs said...

there's anotherkind of phone romeoe that u missed.
the annon variety who'll jab ur number(god knows how) n then say, "i got ur number from a friend, u ve such a great voice, i want to make friendship with u, would u like to make friendship with me?"
the kinds who can't understand y u possibly would want to say no to that tantalising offer :D

manuscrypts said...

aha! poovalans @ poomanam :)

Basanti said...

Hahaha! I know.. One guy from college, took my number and called me under pretext of calling another girl. I said, wrong number and he then kept sending smses. Next day, I asked him to meet me in college in the classroom, and I said in a cool tone, "that is the girl you are looking for, please do not message me again", and pointed to teh Principal's cabin! :P

Haven't seen him in college since then :P Not that I was a regular anyway :P

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

heh heh
i realize i would qualify under multiple counts!!
The male romeos atleast let you enjoy their attention, and make you feel good - What about the girls?
You catch them looking at you from their cube, at the cafeteria. The problem is that even when you enjoy the attention, that is the end. They wont talk even if you walk up to them one day and try to start a conversation - single and looking (but non-talking) bleddy phools!
and there's the kind that owns a digital rebel or a d70 or some other fundoo camera and wants to go out on a field trip with you.
and it's always a korangan and poomaala story with them with teh camera.

but I louwe them all!! *grin*

Anand K said...

Pooh... you haven't met the worst of the Romeos. You have much to learn from the kind and wise Uncle Anand. Lemme give you a few ejjambles phrom daily life using you,Frau Zilverine, as a crash-test dummy;

1)The Loin/Teja Baass Romeo: "Misssss Silvereeeeeen, tumhare maa-baap aur bhaiyon humare kabze mein hai. Agar tum hamara prapossal mana kar diya tho NJAHAHAHAHAA ....."

General Comments: Use the "Mona Darling's" ensuing jealousy against him. Inspector Vijays, if available, are also useful.

2)The Italian Mafia Romeo:
" True Love lingers,
Baby be mah twue lovah
so dat you cahn keep ya fu**in' fingers."

General Comments: Tell him you work for Tony Soprano's crew.

3) The K.P.Ummar Romeo: {barring the escape route with his powerful frame} Shillllvaareeeen, njaan oruvikaara jeeviyanu. Ennodu sahakarichal ninakkum sukham enikkum sukhan....... illengil enikku maatram sukham!"

General Comments: Run for your life. For God's sake don't let him catch you! Keep running without looking back till a own Prem Nazir comes to the rescue saying "Yedaaa droheeee,onnukil njaan....allengil nee! Ini sankhattanam, varineda! ", and duly knifes Ummar to death after a theepori adi in mundu.

4) The Wanderer caliber/class Romeo: "Hey hon', nice day huh?"

General Comments: Resistance is futile, thou shall be pataoed!


incaRed said...

Nice post, silverine. Brought back some nostalgic memories from school / college days.

P.S.- Anand, the KP Ummar line was hilarious.

£ijo Isac said...

Thanks fo the inputs :) . Now we know why you should not disturb some people who always seems to be busy . However it is unfair to classify everybody on teh saem platform.:D

മല്ലു ഫിലിംസ് said...

I am first here.
Good blog!

Asterix said...

Ok here is one way that I have used to find out if a girl I like is 'available' or not.

Me: So there is a party at so and so place at so and so time. You should come and bring your boyfriend along.
Her: I don't have a boyfriend.
Me: Really!!!!! Thats hard to believe!! (all the while smiling ear to ear and pumping fists on the inside)

Ofcourse, some people say that I should just ask directly.

Di said...

rofl....too gud silverine...each one brought memories of some long-forgotten sample romeo.... ;)

Thanu said...

as usual.. very good..

sounds like u have broken a lot of hearts

silverine said...

Kusum: High five girl!!!! :) Thank you for the nice nice words...alter egos will go thru the same same situations naah?! :)

Fleiger: I have taken care to mention only the harmless ones here ;)

moontalk: "the kinds who can't understand y u possibly would want to say no to that tantalising offer" LOL :))

manuscrypts: Not restricted to poomanam actually :)

appu: Hats off!!! That was a smooth move :)

basanti: Now that was smart :)

toothless wonder: I know, cos for all their bumblings, I think these attempt by guys is kinda cute :p

iyer education: Wow!!! Thanks for that compliment...really!! :p

Anand: That was too good!!!Classic Anand!! The Oomer one was hilarious!!! :))

Lijo: lol this is the irritating pest in the office, the busy person is actually busy since it is a new place :)

in cared: Thank you, you will find more such Anand gems on me humble blog :)

mallu films: Thank you :)

asterix: That is so clever! hmm must remember that and give vague answers when someone says that to me :)

di: Thank you dear!! Lovely memories aren't they? :)

thanu: Thank you...and I know you would have broken many hearts too :)

Unknown said...

I guess all the (mostly)harmless romeos are covered...(post+comments)
Great Post!

Alex said...

anyways...due to guys mentioned, the gals always get a lot of chocolates! ;)

mathew said...

dear friend

I had to sell my kidney to marry off my 6 sisters..I have a dog who is past marriagable age..Dont you feel i deserve some sympathy..or er some empathy..huh choking!!..

can u be part of my burden..huh huh..glycerine comes handy now.. :)

please..please..i can promise my liver for you...

Silver..will this work now!!!! :-)

Alexis said...

Great post. Absolutely rocking. Still ROFL.

@Anand: That was really hilarious.

Mind Curry said...

hahaah..its 2 a.m. and i just cant stop laughing or go to sleep..

absolutely rocking post!!

Any moment you feel he may lift his feet like the dog and pee on the lamp post closest to you, to mark his territory.

not wasting his youth etc and soon you will distinctly hear the guy snoring at the other end. There would be no more SMS after that.

The Juvenile Romeo: This type will shout out suddenly when you pass him by and the resultant attention tickles him no end. He will talk loudly, giggle, push his friends and act like a complete jerk expecting you to be impressed.

Rating: Bloody fool!!

these three were the besssttt!!!
you should send this to cosmo or femina!

amazing you are!

and anand's ummar scene was absolutely funtastic!!

Jiby said...

haha...u brought back memories of school and college...among all these romeos i can count myself and almost all my friends upto antiques like these...nowadays we sit back and laugh so much about those days.

there is the other technique too...guys without any confidence decides to take on the gal in full blast. the gal in question here is another blogger...hope she doesnt kill me for this but i'll just change names.
guy:"you must be QQQQ right"
guy"Hi, i am arun"
gal:"so what shud i do"(and walks away.
guy:(looks towards us hiding a little away and then runs off ashamed)

there is this other one: one of my pals struggling to let the gal know abt his love, had a t-shirt painted with the words, "Right Here Waiting For You", leaned on his bike, put on a sunglass and waited outside the college gate for the gal. she passed by, stopped for a moment to read what his t-shirt said and walked by!

glob8 said...

too funny.. rofl..

b v n said...

Dinner Romeo : "come on over I'll make dinner for you " *and havya for supper*

she : "and have me for supper ?"

DR : "why when how..." *blonde moment*

My prayers !

let you and your creed reach that promised land *so called* with no men and happy fat women :)

Amey said...

Hmm, put on the harmful ones too. We don't mind... Go on, hit us...
And now that these secrets are out in the open, we will be developing some new strategies. Because, like that the greatest tattle-tale of the century told all, adaptation is all about getting chics ;)

Sachin R K said...

Great post !!! Dash it . Now I must think of a new method to impress the fairer sex :(

Niti Bhan said...

Ha! You forgot the wait for you at the corner of Double Road and Lalbagh Circle then follow you and roomie on the bike until you stop somewhere and screech at him to stop following you in traffic romeo. oy.

then he became the love note romeo but never left a reply to address. stupid.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the compliment wonly?

tch tch... prolly i am one of these On the other hand you have guys who have no clue on how to approach a gal or are too shy and often end up making fools of themselves

self realisation on a friday is always WELCOME ;)

Canary said...

my first visit to your blog.. think am gonna stop by time and again.. :)
haha.. am still giggling.. :p

Pratish Menon said...

Ah, so this is an indirect way of telling people about yourself? :P

Anonymous said...

Honey you forgot the Blog Romeo,, the type that specifically wanders to female blogs and lauds the writer on her extraordinary linguistic prowess irrespective of whether the same is warranted or not....



Inder said...

haha.. hilarious!
the latest brand of romeos are the 'orkuting romeos'. generally they have the picture of shah rukh or salman in their profile. they go around orkut looking for who they think are girls (most of them are male imposters) and leave scraps like 'shall we be friends'. orkut is one ocean of romeos :P

silverine said...

rockus: Thank you :)

Alex: Yeah, but I hate chocolates :)

mathew: You are genius bass!! Now that was very very innovative :p

Alexis: Thank you :)

mind curry: :P thanks doc!!!

jiby: That was a cute attempt lol..but at least he tried :)

naan: Thanks buddy :)

bvn: Dinner romeo would be a slighlty advanced romeo :p

flieger: The harmful ones usually pick on the seedha saadha gals, so have never encountered them personally :)

sachin: Time for fresh strategies :)

niti bhan: Welcome here :) I think from your desription this guy fits the guy number one in my post except that he vanishes before he gets shouted at.

iyer education: LOL I think you are being modest, probably you are the type I mentioned who sweep gals off their feet :)

Pratish: No...I speak for all womanhood :)

Jinu: Ah...I was speaking of people I have met in real life :) In fact Iyer Education has given a demo of the same kind in his first comment :p

inder: I have experienced it first hand and hence I don't Orkut. The guys I mentioned here are people you meet in daily life :)

canary: Thanks gurl :)

Amey said...

Now that's really interesting... ;)

And I see all the guys are giving out our secrets... That's the danger in blogging you know. No secrets are safe ;)

Ashwin Raju said...

well, the post has definitely given me an oppurtunity to rethink my strategies.. :P

funny how I too just finished blogging on love..or something

btw .. juliets too adopt such measures...

1) Me acting as a messenger.. calling up a much older guy for an anonymous gal who told me she was desperately in love with the dude.. i was in 12th back then. The parents gave ME a boring speech, like yer bro. But that gal became my best pal for the next two years..!!

2) An anonymous gal calling up moiself and telling about another anonymous gal who cant live without me.. and continuing drama of the clarifications of the both anonymous frd and gal (she said this.. >nooo i didnt) for about 2 weeks.

tangled said...

Delightul post, and fabulous comments. :) I'm sure this will spawn a whole host of similar spewings...
Can't wait for the next installment!

Anand K said...

@ Everybody:

Heh Heh Heh... the Ummar line is a classic Ummar joke. You guys never heard of it, one wiseass from Univ College, Trivandrum told me that one like 5 yrs ago! Anyway, thanx for the kind comments.

PS: Lemme share one more thing with the Mallu Mafia here;
There used to be a running gag in Kaumudi magazine (the Sunday one with the superb Varadan Pillai comic strip) where a random picture is given a fake dialogue that totally screws up the whole context. In the best of the lot; Ummar (dressed in checked 70s era shirt with buttons undone down to the navel and exposing his tantex banyan... prolly from a B&W movie where he played the villain) is holding a switchblade with a most demonic and determined expression on his face. Bahadur is also in the pic staring at him eyes wide in fear and awe, clamping his own mouth shut.... as if he had seen the Prince of Darkness himself.

Now the fake dialouge ran thus;
Ummar: Bahadure, njaan ee kathiyum pidichondu ingane nikkunnathu aarkkengilum ariyamo?

Bahadur: Ariyame, ariyame, ellaavarkkum ariyame! Athalle Saddam Husseinum, Bushum onnum nammude Indiaye akramikkathe angottu maaari nikkunnathu!"

Dunno why, it sends me into uncontrollable fits of laughter whenever I think of this pic... especially when I connect it to Ummar's screen persona!

Here's lookin' at you, Ummar Sahib! You're incomparable.

Anonymous said...

Smart one,
That was a Smart one.

-A not so smart ex-romeo

Jeseem said...

really hillarious.
u have been pretty active, breaking hearts of poor guys :)
okie my additions to the failing stratergies :)
1. the singing ones,

2. the drunk ones
e.g. ( true incident)
guy : hey dear, i love you
girl : poye palli paranjaal mathe ( go n tell this in the church)
guy: for you, athe palle poye parayanam. ( for you, which church should i go to tell)

3. the protecting guy-in-shining armour ( the guy who saves the girl from the drunk guy. ofcourse he set the drunk guy on the girl, in the first place. but the girl doesn't know that)

4. and the praising ones like 'hey silverline, u write really hillarious posts. u hav a great way of presenting things. what can i say , a beautiful , very thoughtful and hillarious girl. you really are something.'

so now can we have a post on the working cupid arrow :P

Rahman said...

You must have had a lot of experiences with these romeos(!).

Good one.

Lalit Singh said...

thats quite a list
so how come u know about them all???

silverine said...

fleiger: By seedha saadha I meant 'timid' types :)

bleak: lol lots of guys rethinking strategies, but I think you are being modest from your description of juliets :)

tharunya: Hey girl nice to have you here and thank you :)

Anand: Another claasic...thanks for the trivia on Ummer. Looks like he was the mallu equivalent of Ajith the "loin" king :p

Anon: Thank you!

Jeseem: Thanks for the inputs :) I find bloggers rather straightforward and frankly have never come across blog romeos (now figure that out :p)

1.618 and Lalit: All gals have these experiences, not just me :)

Binoy: Poor guy :) You are absolutely right...there are guys who hope the gal will notice him and so hang around. But that rarely happens :)

Anonymous said... the poor men have no tricks left in the book now..courtesy Silverine, who has published it for all to peruse !!

One does wonder what the guys should actually do in order to achieve the same objective abt a post on that one ?

Alex said...



sp said...

hmm...i dont know why it is so designed that the male of every species has to do all the wooing...N with us poor homo sapiens, its all stacked against us - atleast the males are by far the more beautiful in all species but humans. sigh....

Dhanush | ധനുഷ് said...

He He .. Cool Post :). What abt the blogger romeos. Look around You can come up with another scintillatig post :)

Praveen said...

hmmmm.... iam wondering if you have missed any types of these romeos, i cant think of any that you might have missed, so good job :0

രാജ് said...

അയ്യോ ആണ്‍‌പിള്ളേരെ കൊന്ന് കൊലവിളിക്കുന്നേ!!!

as usual, great humor :)

കുറച്ചുദിവസം ബ്ലോഗ് നോക്കാന്‍ പറ്റിയില്ല, പഴേതൊക്കെ തപ്പിയെടുത്തു വായിക്കണം.

silverine said...

Anon: I think that post will have to be written by a guy :)

alex: :)

sp: lol very true!!!

dhanush: These are people I have met in real life :)

praveen: Thanks :))

peringodan: Nice to see you back and thank you :)

Sreejith said...

lol. this is as good as it gets i guess.

Vijay Anna said...

interesting review... quite handsomely presented...

Amey said...

That's what I was wondering ;)

If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...


i was trying so hard not to laugh, i ended up snorting!!

brought back memories from school and college that i wrote about when i did my lurve series of posts.

Good job girl!!

Suman Pant said...

haha... yes, can see all these romeos around... they are funny sort of creatures... have another ones...

*** a guy is getting close to you and he keeps mumbling about how much he is in love with some xyz gal... he would talk about her endlessly till you think this guy is such a nice-sweet-guy to have been so much in love... you wonder who the gal is and how lucky/unlucky she is...

sometimes you even tell him that the gal must be lucky to have someone like him and then he goes-- really??? ITS YOU!!!

and you go like..."errr...hmmm... u are a nice guy but i dont love you.." and the guy says "dont you wanna be lucky having me?" and you have to say "no thanks... i am happy being unlucky"...

me just wondering ... had it been some other gal, she would have been lucky with this charming guy who is your fren... but if the gal is you, this guy is more like an idiot box than a charming sorta fellow...

Moral of the story: Guys are good till they are frens...

N David said...

Hey what abou the harmful ones? people would like to know how you handle them.. or never encountered one?...

Good post ofcourse..

Anonymous said...

Ho ee glamour koodi poyaal enthokke prashnamaanu alle? :-))))

Neway too good ma'am ...thats one hell of a list..Was quite an eye opener for me on how the other half of the world lives !! I mean if I wasnt so irresistibly attractive to girls , i might have had to adopt one or more of those woo tactics, eh?

Btw, i know you cant mention blog romeos though i'm 100% sure u mustve been tempted to :-)) You might see a slight drop in your blog readership stats by about ..say 99.9% and the angry Blogging Online Romeos Everywhere (BORE) would have sued you for divulging "tried and tested" extremely effective woo tactics....

Guess i'll have to start a "Hitch" kinda wooing consultancy as i dont have any use of my skills anymore..


silverine said...

Sreejith and Vijay: Thanks guys!!! :)

fleiger: :p

if I tell ya gurl: Thanks a ton budddy! :)

eclipsed thoughts: Very true girl!!! I have seen it too!!! And that move by that guys was quite unique LOL

kd: The harmful ones usually go after the timid ones and girls without brothers. I was neither timid nor lacking in brothers :p

flaash: ROTFL that was too good!!! Why don't you write a post on your friends wooing attempts? It would be hilarious I am sure as only you can write it!!!

p.s blog romeos don't exist for the simple reason that most bloggers are serious writers, even the humor writers :)

Anonymous said...

The reverse dog method:

This technique requires some time effort and a lot of luck.
Ingredients: i) One large dog (German Shepard, Lab, Golden retriver, St Bernard most reccomended) with infinite patience. It would be nice if he is say president of the Carter Rd canine association and has every paw at his feet; ii) One half witted owner with enough sense to realise where the action is;

Method 1: Train patient fun loving dog to pretend to attack hapless victim on getting the signal from half wit. Once the 'action' begins half wit to rescue damsel and chastise patient dog. Half wit to apologise profusely and insist on buying coffee (and biscuits for the dog)
Note*: If dog impatient or refuses to pretend and believes a juicy bite will get better results, half wit could end up in the gaol.

Method 2: Large patient dog with half with pretends to attack Damsels small tiny dog. Half wit seperates the 2.
Note*: Could backfire if:
1) small dog has a heartattack. Large dog and half wit will be run off say Carter rd permenantly
2) Large dog decides to become 'pally' with small dog. This holds other promises, but caution is advised
3) Small dog scares the living daylights out of large dog / ends up biting large patient dog

If any of the above techniques work please page me

Anonymous said...

Well thanks but no thanks Silverine..If i write on my friends' wooing attempts its likely that i will have spend some money on a nice Kevlar bullet proof jacket or atleast some Karate classes for self defence

Well that might be expensive but there might be some Divorce lawyers (who'd be benefitting out of these revelations and will foot the bill in gratitude)


Anonymous said...

Heh heh - what a cracker. I should ask all my exes under what category they would file me as. If all your other male readers did the same, I daresay we'd have a really entertaining blogpost!

Your post has got me thinking - I should do a bunny-boiler post. Being long of tooth I have come across some of them. For those not in the know, a bunny-boiler is a woman stalker who will not let you be. The term is derived from the movie 'Fatal Attraction' where Glen Close boils Michael Douglas's pet rabbit because she's trying to get his attention!

"the girl who ate everything and didnt even burp" said...

lol too funny! :))

Dreamer said...


lol, good observation Sil.. Goes well with my latest one too ;-)

Guys/Girls, looks like someone need to write few books..
titles as follows:
1. 'Advanced flattering in 21 days'
2. 'HOWTO: advanced will not miss the misses arrow'
3. 'Advanced Miss management - How to avoid turn-downs and ripped-pockets'
4. 'Asking out - a psychologycal approach'
5. 'Advanced Cupid Concepts: Fact or Fallacy - Rejection is the stepping stone to Acceptance'

any takers? girls prefered;-) Afterall, who knows a lady better than another one ;-)

GajabKhopdi said...

You seem to be profoundly au courant on the boys' behaviour!
But tell me one thing, why is it always the boys who are accused and chided for trying to get a girl's attention?
I believe even the opposite is true in many cases. its jus that girls are less expressive in their means i would say!

silverine said...

Sanjay: LOL your desription reminds me of a Hollywood movie in which the hero does the same.
That reminded me of yet another tpe of romeo. The Dog Owner Romeo. This type takes extremely cute looking dogs for walks in front of gals and of course we go "cho chweeeet" and rush to pat the dog :p I have done it many times and now I just admire the dog from far if it is a guy walking it :)

flash: You don't have to use names, use psudonyms :)

sugar n spice: Thanks dear :)

Riggs: I am eagerly waiting for the bunny boiler post. I am sure we have our very own desi Glen Close's :))

dreamer: What a 'novel' idea!! :))

Shashank: Being a gal it is natural that I know of these tactics! And no one is blaming guys here, this is just a post on the tactics guys use thats all!

Aslan said...

How can cupid strike and miss? Its an oxymoron. You probably meant "When cupid aims and misses". Well, do you know any examples of "When cupid struck?" I could use a few pointers, you see :p

silverine said...

Aslan: This post about the instances when cupid struck and about the 'misses' by the people who were struck by Cupid...and 'misses' also doubles up as a plural for a 'miss' the single female ....:) Cupid is a busy God...look around....there is no dearth of pointers for you :p

Aslan said...

confusion theerkaname.. ente confusion theerkaname.. ok ok what i meant was do you have any examples of when the 'people struck by cupid didn't miss', to put it explicitly.

silverine said...

Aslan: Among the examples I have seen succeeding have been guys who made friends with the gal first and then over a period of time showed her his honorable intentions and let her decide if she wanted to take it further or not :)

Maybe this will help!

Pramod said...

Cracked up a number of times readin ur post.. Hilarious stuff.. :D

Niti Bhan said...

silverine, thanks for hte welcome. your blog brought back memories of bangalore and my slew of mallu boys :)

Anonymous said...


day-dreamer said...

this was hilarious!! :)... YOu can definitely find me in one or more of these categories.. obviously I'm not going to tell you which ones! :) ... loved it so much that I'd even sent the link to all the girls I knew, in order to get their reactions!!


silverine said...

Pramod: Thank you

niti: It was nice of you to drop by :)

suddenlynita: Thanks girl!! :))

Vivek: Thank you. You shoud'nt have given out the trade secrets :))

Dreamy Denimnooo said...

Grr...Don't Dare Say that again ... !!!...or guys will stop spending time appreciating your make up and new attire ... :)

That was a nice one about guys ... why dont you critic the gals too in the same cynical fashion...

S said...


Anonymous said...

Proud that i was none among the long list!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm soo true .....Its all the more annoying if u have two or three of these categories troubling u at the same time ......

Princess Stefania said...

And the latest variety - The Orkut Romeos.
I lasted on orkut for a whole year, and still don't quite know how I made it.

Nrupesh said...

havent read the all the comments... but in case anybody has forgotten, your blog romeo...and thats me!! nice one...

skar said...

You forgot the vain romeo. He thinks about the girl all day, but when she's around pretends to completely ignore her. After doing this long enough to be absolutely secure that the girl has fallen in love with him, he walks upto her suavely and is surprised to find that she doesn't fall into his arms saying, "I love you!" :)

Ajith said...

Gud post . I love it. Romeos,.. they always have one trick or the other up their sleeves.:).There is a romeo in everyone of us, at one point of time he will make u do such silly things which makes u look like a fool. Well I was mad about this girl, and i have written a letter for her to show my affection. I kept it in my book for almost one year..never manage to gave her the letter....

Anonymous said...

Ente daivamme...can't stop laughing!!!

Anonymous said...

good one!

i have another.

it could be a call or in person
guy "I love u"
girl "thanks, but i don't"
guy "Why?"


Kannan,India said...

I hav been DevDas-Helping kinda hybrid romeo during my time.There are worse kinds&they r not funny.Most I have seen is *why-r-u-rejecting-me-what-is-wrong-with-me* indignation romeos with born sense of choicest women entitlements to slapping-acid-throwing psycho types.Havent ever seen many non-annoying type romeos as you have mentioned except silent sufferers and anonymous V-greeting card kind.