Saturday, June 17, 2006

Coming out of the closet

The title will give you a clue to the content of this post. I thought for once I will do away with the usual titles and be straightforward. Many of you may snigger after you have read this through, while some of you may leave shell-shocked. Some of you may actually feel a dislike towards me. However after much thought and much procrastination I have decided that I will be honest and write about something that I wanted to reveal for some time now. It is the least I can do for my fellow bloggers who have taken the trouble to read my posts and leave comments.

There is no right way to come out, but I hope I can avoid some of the pain and drama of coming out to my family and friends.It doesn't matter if you live in a small town or a large metropolitan city, nothing can be more isolating than the first coming out. You can be surrounded by familiar people and still feel you are the only one that is "different"

Accepting your 'inclination' can bring about a number of fears. Will your family or friends stop loving you? Will you ever get married or have children? Will you be discriminated against or made fun of?

Disregarding all these fears and hoping for your compassion, me Silverine, hereby declare on this day i.e June 17th , 2006 that:


It's true dear bloggers....from the time I heard “Aashique banaaya” Remix I was hooked. And then one remix led to another and I realized that I was different from the 'phlegminem' crowd. I realized that I was in the majority who were different, but were ashamed to admit it. I led a life of deception and laughed at all the jokes about his songs and their nasal tones, pretending to be normal. But I will not live this “lie” anymore.

Fellow bloggers, I am really sorry if this confession shocks you or makes you the target of ridicule for being associated with me. You can always say that you never knew about my inclination.

Dad you always taught me to tell the truth. ( I can almost hear you saying “Clauses!!! I should have clauses for every advice I give her!!! Grrrr”).

Mom… remember I am still your little girl. (I can almost hear you saying "ente karthave!!!!")

And my dear brothers, I know your friends will snigger behind you back, some in front even (back stabbers!!!), (I can almost hear both of you saying "OH MY GAWD, did you see that goal?!!!")

I am sure the good doctors and fellow bloggers Mind Curry and Sarah will vouch for me and reassure you that this is normal ( both of you had better or else I will hack your blogs and make it a Himesh Reshamiyya Fan Site!!! grr).

And all you fellow bloggers, I am sure many of you may be similarly inclined. I appeal to you to ‘come out’ like I did or keep those headphones on. *sniff*


shruti said...

hey 1st one to comment .. different post just like ur inclinations he he .. well ashiq banaya was nice but after that his songs did go a downward spiral.. his latest does seem like ear shattering music .. neways ur not a sheep - good!

Anonymous said...

God!!!!!!!!!! This was a big one on my Solar Plexis!!! *UFfffff*

Girl, don't do this, I though my favorite gal blogger was you know what. I am now recovering from the shock.....

This was damn good man!!!!!!! ROFLAO

Dr. Pissed said...

You will be pointed at and laughed at from now. hahahahaha

But then again, we've all had our "coming out" experiences. Like when I was really young, I used to only listen to Michael Jackson. Even try and dance like him. We've all been there too, I am sure.

But hahahahahahaha!!

Damm, i wanted to be the first one!

mathew said...

ROTFL!!!please tell me u were not in ur sense while writing this!!! :)


Sarah said...

Kadavule.. now that is my second kadavule for the day..( the first one was at Dhanush's blog reading abt his fav books)..
I thought I am the only mad one around..glad I met you.. and I can assure you, you are sane..( don't want my blog to be hacked by an insane person would I??)
BTW: just curious.. did you by any chance fall out of the bed and hit your head on the floor?? slight chance of head injury??

Jive Talker said...

Well, I'll keep my earmuffs on. Can't bear to drive these days. Cos Himesh insists on keeping company no matter what station Im tuned into. Thank heavens I have a decent collection of CDs. Must confess that Aap ki kashish was the only time I sat up and listened. Quite sick of that as well now. Didn't expect this from you though

Sayesha said...

Hahahaah! Welcome to the club! I am in luuurve with both songs - 'Aashique banaya aapne' and 'Aapki kashish' :P

Anonymous said...

*sigh* Just when I was about to test my match making skill and introduce you to this Dashing Capt.A**** Jacob ( A Junior of Mine )but alas now I am a lil bit confused...;)

Dew Drops said...

*sigh* let us hope this is just a passing phase. i will pray for your earliest recovery ...

Unknown said...

My the lord show mercy on u... seems like u are possessed by some unholy spirit.
BTW, do you wear a cap? and grow beard? err... wrong question, the last one...

Nikhil Narayanan said...

u stoned???

Anonymous said...

Gud one! I too 'came out' at a family gathering and admitted that I am a big fan of Boney M. Ever heard about them? :D

anup.777 said...

For a moment I thought u weren't straight or something!!! ... hehe ... its a relief nothing of that sort tumbled outta da closet ... what wld've happened to us boys then? ... lolz ... :)

I'm a HR fan too!!! Don't worry, u r not alone... there r many Headphone/Closet fans of HR!!! :)

I've loved most of his songs ... especially the remixed editions ... Aa Aa Aashiqui, Ek Baar Aaja ... and the ones from Phir Hera Pheri are playing on my jukebox!

but, I still do laugh whenever people spoof him on MTV ... guess I'm not exactly good Fan material (innete generation ... no loyalty!) ... hehe :)

Kusum Rohra said...


No no ROTFL, initially i hated him ,but my brother plays him so much so now sometimes,(read carefully i said SOMETIMES, ok so stop sniggering that you got me :) ) sing his songs and dance to them too, the latest one being Jara Jhoom Jhoom ..... LOL but this is hilarious silver mez mighty glad to have found your blog.

Anonymous said...

Get well soon....will pray for u...

monu said...


levan yarruuu??? :D

Supremus said...

Tch Tch!

And here was I totally misled and thinking ummm nicer things :P :P :P hahahahaha..

ROFL - Himesh has a lot of fans, what say?


silverine said...

Shruthi: I like all his remixes :)

PP: Sorry buddy :( Glad you are recovering :))

dr pissed: I liked Jackie boy too till he started liking boyz :p

mathew: I am in phull senses dear! :)

Sarah: Just told my designer to stop making the new template that would have gone into your blog in the rare occurence of you not giving me a clean bill of mental health :p

jive talker: *muah* Long live the ear muffs brigade :)
"Didn't expect this from you though :( Wot to do, I have my needs too ;)

sayeesh: I see a gal with loads of taste here :) Thanks for the welcome gal :)

Jaguu: You are so kind to fix me up and all that, and I totally understand you confusion. *pssst* you can also come out of the closet!! LOL

Capt Jacob: It's your loss :p

dew drops: Thank you dear, such kindness *sniff* Wonly now realising who my real friends are :))

Koutilya: LOL

nikhil narayanan: No I rock!!!!!

Anon: I luvvv Boney M and Abba too!!!!

Anup: For a moment I thought u weren't straight or something!!! ROFL Good one buddy!!! I love the spoofs on HR too :))

Kusum:et tu Kusum?? *snigger*
LOL Thank you gal, it's an ENORMOUS relief that you are normal like me :))

Anon 2: Ha! Tall promises..chumma don't tell lies. I dont believe you will pray for me :))

Monu: Ignorance can sometimes be bliss dear :))

Suyog: Tch Tch Suyog buddy I though at least you will have faith in me :( *silverine sobs uncontrollably*

Old Spice said...

It's ok. I understand - as Himesh-ji snorts in one of his songs "kuchh to samjho na ... samjho na ..."

Seriously, I don't mind all his songs. I quite like Soniye from Aksar, and Vada Tainu from his Aap ka Surroor album. (Both are also good for constipation and 5 am wakeups en route to the gym.) Rest I can take or leave.

It takes courage to come out, and I'm proud of you. Sometimes bloggers diss people because they're jealous (like with Himesh) or because they've slept with people and bloggers are still on their ownsome (like most of the Times of India and Hindustan Times online staff - how else could they have got jobs?). Your honesty is refreshing.

Now, telling us how you feel about Kareena Kapoor ... that will take some real guts. Till then, it's folkish, so nachle, yaar. (OK, I listen to more of him than my ambivalence should indicate. Sorry.)

naveen said...

Well,It could have been worse...U could have been fan of Himesh and Shahid kapoor!!!Well,I 2 lik his songs...but not tht much!!U can hear it 4 a couple of times,at the most 5 times,and then u get bored!!Anyway,nice surprice...Good going!!

Unknown said...

Aashiq banaaya made me mellow(an aashiq if u will!) but then on...blah!

Mind Curry said...

To whomsover it may concern:

This is to certify that Srimati: Silverine My Think Pad, aged 18 years, has been under my care for the last one year. She is in perfect mental and physical health, and can continue blogging.

Yours truly,

(under gun-point)

*hums* aaaaashique banayaaaaaa

Anonymous said...

i thank silverine for her support and the way in which she has expressed her love for my moosic.

i love all my fans!

i am the best!


Anonymous said...


No closet voset... My life is Open Book......And I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality...:P

starry said...

I cant wait to hear his know what you are talking about.

Brijesh Nair said...

I have no idea who this HIMESH RESHAMIYYA is. I asked my wife who this guy is and she was telling me that she also like his songs. Have to hear his songs

kandykane said...

himesh reshammiya..??!!!! Noooooooooooooo.. over-dose.. Gak !

Shrutz said...

I haven't heard any of his err... songs yet. ;) Send me some!

silverine said...

the graduate: Thank you for calling him Himesh-ji though I am not taking too kindly to the "Both are also good for constipation and 5 am wakeups en route to the gym" hmmmm (LOL)
I am yet to see any Karena's movies, so cannot stick my head out courageously yet, but her song numbers can be outsourced to
Sunnypaaji don't you think? Plus he does look good in patel pinks and greens.

Naveen:True dear :))

Rockus: Some songs are quite dreamy.

Mind Curry: ROFLAO =))

Thank you dear doc for that clean bill of mental health though a voice in my head says that I should hack you blog, but then another voice is telling me to thank you creatively for making your blog a shrine for Himmy er..Himesh ji. For the kindness, Himesh ji will play a four hour concert ONLY for you. Just the two of you, for four hours...just imagine, what bliss!!

p.p.s cotton plugs, guns, hammers and ear plugs etc will not be allowed in the concert hall.

*hugs* from all of us (in my head).

Himmy: Himmy dearrrrrrrrrr You are the bestttt *muah* :p

Jaguuu: :))

Brijesh:Looks like your wife likes foot tapping music too :))

Kandykane: Take it in small doses dear :))

shrutz: I guess you don't watch much TV. His err.. songs can be found on Musicindiaonlinedotcom
Indipop section :))

Patty said...

Good for you girl! Reminds me of my comming out...... For years I used the traditional (boring) paint colors for the walls of my home. Finally, I branched out, and people are still talking about the current paint color in my bedroom; and not always in a postive way. I lived through it, and so will you! You must be who you are first and formost, and ____ the consequences!

Anonymous said...

Just who the f!@#$* is Himesh Reshamiyya? Maybe I'm from the pre-historic period to have not heard about him.

calvin said...

:D.. I was out of action for a few days.. thats the delay..

And this looks like the day when i openly admitted that i liked One , just One song sung by "spice girls" to my rock fan friend...You can imagine the chaos it created . And from then on , i was the weirdo even for him :(

hope and love said...

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

me too..! me too..!!

silverine said...

Patty: Good for you too Patty. As you rightly said "You must be who you are first and formost, and ____ the consequences! " Nice to see you and Ben here :)

Browser: LOL he is a Indipop singer and film crooner. Quite nice in small bursts :) It has become fashionable to diss him and I have this thing for underdogs :))

Aashik: Dude, you got me :)

HnL: We are a class apart :)

The elderly camel said...

welcome to the club :))
haven't heard enough of him to be a fan, but the "jhalak dikhla ja..." gets me all foot tapping.

Dhanush | ധനുഷ് said...

You know What. Once during my office ride, I was hearing to this 13 13 13 13 13 .. song of his on Radio City.. I wanted to change it, but there was no Radio Mirchi then. Only option I had to change to was to FM Rainbow and as I put it on, I heard Yesudas singing in Kannada. I didn't hesitate to put that for the rest of my ride till the other stn gave a non-Himmesh song ;) - Boy it was so peace you know. Hearing to that GaanaGandharvan's melodious Kannada song. Much better than his naso centric beats-ified tunes. Some times when I hear it, I feel I can sing even better. My Bathroom singing is quite famous in Vadakara you know ;)

Huh, Terrible enne enikku parayan patoo.. :-)

BTW, what are your thought on his acting. That sentimental acts of a Niraasha Kaamukan. Pazhaya Venu Nagavalli-Soman-Sukumaran-Mohan Gang ine Tholpikkum alle ;)

Rushes' Anomaly said...

Ente Karthave !! Nalle oru kochayirunnaalllo .. kashtam! {not kaashtam ;-D }

But that guy sucks! (sorry !!)

verbaltorture said...

WHAT? *pops eyes out of sockets and glares*

HR (note the abbr) sucks. And how? 1. All his songs start with OoOoOoOoOo
2. They have the same tune and the same rhythm.
3. His voice sounds like that of an old soda bottle rubbed against a brick.
4. He wears a polo T-shirt.
5. He doesn't own a shaving kit (I can bet he doesn't own a cake of soap either)
6. He looks super gay.

4,5 &6 are not music-related, but they're all key reasons for dislike..err...i mean utmost hatred.

Get well soon, silver !*shakes head with lost hope*

DD said...

Had sort of subtly declared my entry into the HR fan club on my blog on Friday :) Maybe it has sthg to do with mallus, need to chk if Himesh is the "in-thing" back in melluland!
And yeah HR absolutely totally rocks! My walkman is filled with his mp3s and I need to listen to Zara Jhoom Jhoom/Jhalak Dikhlaja everyday to motivate myself to work!
There is another frnd of mine who is also a HR fan and we scrap "OoooOooo" on each others' scrapbooks to show our respect to da man :)

Vaikunth said...

thx for visiting my blog. but who is this Himesh ...

Mind Curry said...

i went and bought myself a set of listen to non-himmy songs..


it was a pleasure meeting "all of you" :)

Anonymous said...

no i refuse to sing for the doc without you..or maybe i can sing only for you.

we dont need the doc anymore since we got the certificate..tsk tsk..

*hums* i'm the best, i 'm the best..

Lalit Singh said...

what happ... thode din pehle tak to theek thi..
i suggest you take a break.. go someplace.. relax and then report back...

Why do i like u a little less after reading this??? :-))

On second thoughts... how high u were while writing this???

രാജ് said...

ഭാഗ്യം എനിക്കീ പഹയനെ അറിയുകയേ ഇല്ലായിരുന്നു. പിന്നെ വിക്കിപീഡിയ ചിക്കിനോക്കിയപ്പോള്‍ ഒക്കെ മനസ്സിലായി. “ആശിക്ക് ബനായ” പോലുള്ള പാട്ടുവെച്ചു് എന്റെ ഉറക്കം കളയുന്ന വണ്ടിക്കാരനെ ഇരുട്ടടിയടിക്കുവാന്‍ എപ്പൊ ചാന്‍സ് കിട്ടും എന്നന്വേഷിച്ചു നടപ്പായിരുന്നു ഞാന്‍. ചാന്‍സിതുവരെ കിട്ടിയില്ല, തല്‍ക്കാലം മലയാളം ബ്ലോഗിലെ ഉമേഷ്ജിയും മകനും ചേര്‍ന്നു് ആലപിച്ച ചില കവിതകള്‍ ഹെഡ്സെറ്റില്‍ കേട്ടു ജീവിച്ചു പോകുന്നു.

എന്നാലും എന്റെ സുഹൃത്തേ ഇതു ദ്രോഹമായിപ്പോയി ;)

£ijo Isac said...

This is free brand advertisement Mr :Himesh R . Corporate Communicatio gal should understand this :). But whether user response to this brand advertisment will be negative or positive is debatable . Seriously ROFL when I understood who is Himesh .

Anonymous said...

Lol....get well soon Silver.

Inder said...

Himesh is a good composer. No doubt. But, is he a good singer? I have my doubts. I guess he is spoiling some of his nice tunes by singing them himself.

There was this Anu Malik (still around...). I heard him singing his own composition 'Churake dil mera' on stage. That was a supremely painful experience...

silverine said...

The elderly camel: Thank you !!!! It is very foot tapping isn't it? :)

Dhanush:I am not crazy about his acting too :)) Exactly as you described he reminds me of that nauseating fellow Venu Nagavalli. But the songs are lively! :)
My Bathroom singing is quite famous in Vadakara you know And now it must be famous in Bangalore too? LOL

rushes' anomaly: "But that guy sucks!" Ente karthave!! *sob* *sob* :p

verbal torture: LOL on that comment.He looks all that I agree but his singing is sOoOoOoOoOoper!!! :))

DD: yay!!! Another 'coming out' I see. Welcome home bro. And you actually leave 'OooOooo' on scrapbooks?? Priceless! lol

Vaik: He is a singer.I was at your blog via Deepa.

Mind Curry: You bought headphone? How nice. Now please deposit them at the entrance before the concert :| And the pleasure was all 'ours':))

Himesh: I will join you dear Himmy, now that I have to take care of the good doc's headphones while he listens to your concert
Hope you don't mind if I wear it? Don't want it getting dirty and all that you know?! :p

Lalit: Why do i like u a little less after reading this??? :(
*sigh* Dosth dosth naa raha :))

Peringodan:Wot to do we are like this wonly :( :p

Lijo: So far the user response has been 50-50 :))

Anon: I am perfectly alright dear :)

inder:I agree that some of his tunes could have been sung by another singers, but his trademark singing is also good. Anu Malik can sing well at times :)

Kusum Rohra said...

Silver, I think there is a typo in your reply, I think you meant ABNORMAL like you, right??

silverine said...

Kusum: No dear, you and me are the normal ones, at least we admit the fact instead of hiding it in the headphones :))

Enigma said...

for a moment even i thought what " anup.777 " had thought :P that u are not straight :P. but now its even more shocking!!!! :P

Goan Pao said...

I almost fell off my chair, shocked I was absolutely shocked, then I realised I didnt exatly know who himesh was so, well you could adore him and sing praises to his name, it wont bother me....As long as your different ure kewl with me, i dont like crowdees (similar to groupies who follow a band).

The Storyteller said...

Silvu!!! Thanks yaar u make me feel comfortable. At least I know someone who is wid me :D

Just another "resham" fan ;;)


venus said...

I'm thinking of downloadingone of his songs - 'naam hai tera mera' as a ringtone :)
I'm too a himesh reshamiya fan!!
I wanna listen to himesh while driving, and others in the car wish if he would die.. I still love his songs, few of em :)

silverine said...

Enigma: Well Anup thought something the first lines :))

Goan pao:Thank you dear, I am def not a 'crowdee' :)

Arti: Welcome to the club gal :)

Venus: "naam thera thera" is my current fav :)

Happy-Go-Lucky said...

Visiting ur blog 1st time.
You write very very well.
Wish I could write like you.

Keep writing!

Anonymous said...

I have a silverine 'inclination' and I am coming out ! :-)

ARK said...

Et tu...

Kusum Rohra said...

One more time if you call me normal, I am going to abandon ur blog, er not really lekin kehne main kya jata hai :P

Unknown said...

An insult to Kusum....
she feels offended when someone calls her normal...
She might just start dishoom dishoom...

So botha u "normal" galz, am not able to see the caps on ur head...
well. I can understand about the stubble...

And I think u galz also have the clips that are used to hold the clothes in place on the cloth-line.
I think the khajoor, uses it as an important ingradient along with his "Ganna" or mic by hooking it on to his nose.

Besides he has abandoned the biological use of his nostrils and started to use em musically?

Himesh.. n musical? phews...
Mind Curry.. I need an appointment 4 treatement!

Jagan said...


Rose said...


Im running around peeing in my pants, pulling hard at my hair with disbelief..

Ok.. I luved 'Aashiq Banaya', esp the remix.. but i really cannot stand 'Naam hai tera tera'.. "Surooooooor.. tera tera tera".. the moment he cums on screen with his morose expression and hideous cap that covers his balding head, i wanna run !!!

Al the best wid ur revelation..



Binoy, The One and Only said...

There are a couple of things which you should keep to yourself and not tell others....

silverine said...

happy go lucky: Thank you :)

Anon: :)

Arjun: Judge me not harshly :(

Kusum: I declare to whomsoever it may concern or not concern that Kusum is as abnormal as me !!! :))

Koutilya: grrr how dare you insult our diety???

Jagan: His songs are dreamy hmmmm

Rose: lol

binoy the one and only: naah I didn't want to live in the closet all my life, am claustrophobic you know? :P

Anonymous said...

haha..nice post mam!..

and hey i too am a fan of Himesh :)..he rocks man seriously


silverine said...

Shan: He does rock!! :)

Anonymous said...

What? the person whose blog I have been reading since yday is a Himmesh fan????
*runs away from this blog lest this fanship will attach itself to me too*

*wears a sheild and comes back*

Just reminds me of what I wrote about him long back.. nopes.. I didnt 'come' out.. :).. I added to the people who sniggered at his howling voice.. :D

Sriram said...

AUGGGGGGHHH!!! AIR FILTER!! AIR FILTER!seriously, this was real unexpected :|

PS: Poomanam archives is my favourite place to have lunch nowadays (especially with the unending pre-college holidays getting boring)... So stray comments may pop up now and then on very old posts :)