Sunday, October 04, 2009

A moving story

So we are moving laptop locks, employee stock and barrel…to another building where it is hoped that we will shout, scream and talk at the top of our voices so that the genteel folks we leave behind may have some peace of mind to concentrate on bitching err work. Apparently the noise we used to generate led to several mis-communications like A who is seeing G, was heard as seeing T which is the same as far as we are concerned. But then we are the vermin of this company and our opinions do not count.

On Tuesday we were all told to report to this spanking new building, where another group of genteel people were seen gnashing their teeth and wailing “Why us God!!!” We ignored them of course. Vermin have no feelings. Pretty soon we were all assembled at the lobby waiting for Vijayan the protagonist of this post. Vijayan is our long suffering Facility Manager. I was the first person to step up to him when he came in.

Vijayan: What can I do for you?
Me: Any idea which side is Vailankanni Church?
Vijayan: hmm, that way I think.
Me: err what about Vatican?
Vijayan: ummm to that side I would say!
Me: Ahem…what about Mecca?
Vijayan: That way I suppose!
Me: errr Tirupati?
Vijayan: This side!
Me: Thank you! I will take that seat towards Tirupati. Religious reasons you know!
Vijayan: But…but aren’t you…
Me: Bye!

Next, it was the turn of Ranjeet Kapoor!

Ranjeet: Oye Vijayan! Which side is Bangkok heh heh
Vijayan (frostily): That way!
Ranjeet: What about that seat over there!
Vijayan: That faces a cemetery! :|
Ranjeet: I’ll take it! Spiritual reasons you see.
Vijayan: !!!

Next it was the turn of Venkat Subramaniam

Venkat: Vijayan…
Vijayan: Let me guess you want to know which side is Madurai Meenakshi temple right?
Venkat: No! I want to know if I can have that seat next to Ranjeet?
Vijayan (smirking): That faces the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Saints!
Venkat: Alleuia! I will take it.
Vijayan: Since when did you become a Mormon?
Venkat (hurrying off): Last offsite. Thanks and bye!

Ms Blah Blah is next.

Vijayan (Sarcastically): Let me guess, you want the seat facing a Church confessional.
Blah Blah: Which seat would that be?
Vijayan: The one next to Venkat.
Blah Blah: Thanks! I will take it. Vaastu reasons you see!
Vijayan: :-O

By the end of the day all 25 of us were seated on the far left corner of the building, diagonally opposite to the right corner of the building which is about 500 feet away from the cabin where the Boss sat. Nice. We did our high fives and felt pretty pleased with ourselves. In the evening when I was going home I overheard this conversation in the Boss’s cabin.

Boss: Vijayan, I was wondering if I could shift my cabin.
Vijayan: Sure Sir!! Which cabin do you want?
Boss: Any cabin facing a bunch of idiots?
Vijayan: *GRIN* But of course!!!
Boss: Thanks! I will take it. Feng Shui reasons you see!

It was a sad sad me that went home that day :(

p.s If any of my colleagues are reading this, please note that Monday movie stands canceled and Tuesday Biryani get together too. Wednesday Dart game is also canceled as well as Thursday Card game. Friday get together at Geoffreys is postponed to “after office” hours.

Have a nice week friends!


SG said...

Nice post Anjali. Or, should I say this is a “moving” post. Please inform Venkat not to be so quick in becoming a Mormon. Paying 10% of the salary (tithing) each month to the Mormon Church is compulsory. I have lived in Salt Lake City and I know.

thomas said...

You should perhaps consider changing you title from MarComm Manager to MarMisComm manager and be held responsible for all the mis-communications in your office ;)

Nona said...

Has the boss moved? Mebbe you can capitalize the (time) window he uses to move near your cubicle. :)

Anonymous said...

Lol! the Gods must be happy with all the patronising you guys did.
Good luck to your boss.

Anonymous said...

PS - any openings in your office where I can sit and watch the proceedings? ;)

skar said...

May be you should try this with your boss instead:


blah said...

LOL.. Anyway, it is not as bad as having 2 Chinese guys sitting on either side of you.

Their cross talk is so informative. The only thing i understand is when one of the guy get agitated and screams F*** F*** F***....

The Wanderer said...

Any chances of your company sponsoring you good binoculars to get a better view of Tirupati from your seat now? ;-)

Grayquill said...

I actually began to feel sorry for Vijayan I hope you don't force him/her into a nervouse breakdown.
Are you always such a troublemaker? Maybe day two could start with everyone sitting in someone elses place and address each other by the other person's name. That should push Vihayan over the edge. Oh. BTW who does the boss think the biggest idiot is?

mathew said...

btw i came to know ur boss has installed surveillance cameras in each cabin anyways.. :I

Amey said...

Morale of the story: Never ever make your facility manager angry.

Thoorika said...

Is there any opening in your company?! :D

Sowmya said...

ahahahahaha ahahahaha! :P

Anonymous said...

Y did u guys ragged that poor guy :D ...
Between is there any opening in your company :D

Radhika Ganesan said...

I was about to faint after reading the title...
In one of my "moving stories"...i tried to sit in a place such that my boss could not see my my disappointment she specially asked a colleague to swap places so that she could see what i am doing !

silverine said...

SG: It is called "Instant Dharma,wears off equally fast! :)

thomas: Hello! This time it was not my fault you rumor monger!! >:P

Nona: He has...sadly! Sigh.

Indiashoes: Looks like they were not, judging from the results! :p

Karthik: Wish he was that dumb! Life would be so easy!

dsk: lol! I have to deal with the Japs, sweet people though! :)

The Blue Indian: A view of the Boss's seat would be enough! :p

Grayquill: LOL!! That sure is a swell idea. My boss is very fair. He thinks all of us are idiots! :)

Mathew: hehe I wouldn't be surprised if he did that! :p

Amey: Moral of the story is that we never learn from our lessons! lol!

Thoorika: There will be when I am kicked out. The job is easy. You should be good at bullshitting! :|

Sowmya: :)

Anish: lol! I think I should ask for a hike considering the number of job inquiries I have generated! :))

Radhika: lol! Maybe she is my Boss's sister! :))

Abhi said...

Haha reminds of the time the larger office right next to my boss got vacant when a worker left. My boss offered me the office and was wondering why I turned it down for my current office which is smaller but the maximum distance away from his. ;)

Prats said...

ROFL!!! Awesome :-) Come on the Boss had to do it :-P

btw. Just to make you more jealous I thought of telling you know we are having a ball of time in our office :-) We sit in Pune office and our boss sits in Bangalore :-D

ra said...

i remember sumthing similiar when my team lead ordered for a pizza from a restaurant...sharing wall with our office building and asked him to deliver pizza to his apartment 40kms 20 minutes???

Aniket Thakkar said...

Whattey coincidence! My team got moved today too. :P Though it was for the sole purpose that our team expanded so we needed more space.

I picked the strategic one where I can keep over the boss and she can't catch me reading blogs in office (like right now). Tee Hee.

Also, god bless our CEO. He just decided to join twitter. So firm has an announcement that all must follow him on twitter (how desperate!) and thus, twitter is no longer blocked in company! Yay!

Eternal Fantasia said...

Coool Post.... My boss's cabin is arund 500 feel diagonally opposite to where i sit.... but he has got his spies arund me..... You know i hardly get time to work out of my bcy schedule of farming on Facebook, Gtalk, Blogging, gmail, p2ps, pc to pc chats, voips etc.....

Biju said...

Hilarious as usual!!! :-) Good one

Anonymous said...

this is pretty much the only blog i read regularly anymore.. you have been eggrolled, erm, blogrolled.. :-)


RGB said...

Are you thinking of moving the other way round, now that your Boss is moving this way? Enjoyed reading your post!

Anonymous said...

Currently I am so pissed off... the interviews are really taking a toll.... This blog is welcome respite... keep up the good work.........

Naomi said...

anju punju..good post di!

Zoya said...

Ah yes we've done a similar exercise once when our team was asked to move to a new everytime WIP building. We managed to pick the seats away from our bosses but sadly they started visiting us at our desks instead.
Anyways a great post by you. Love reading your blog. :)