Monday, April 13, 2009

Six feet under and pushing up Excels,Words and Power Points!

Battling with work, work and more work folks. So posts are going to be delayed. If you don’t like it you can offer to keep my Boss tied up for a couple of weeks. He is a nice guy actually. A little absent minded but his minions like him a lot. But he has his quirks. He thinks that everyone should be like him. I mean he likes to work. We don’t. And he thinks people should be like him. It is not professional to be thrusting your colleagues with your likes and dislikes don’t you think so? We don’t tell him to take it easy or not work hard do we? That’s professionalism for you. My Boss has the most professional team in the whole wide world. If there was an award for professionalism, we would win hands down.

I think the man needs therapy. I wish there was a rehab where we could send Bosses to get help.

Therapist: And Mr. Boss why are you so obsessed with work!
Boss: Because I am the Boss duh!
Therapist: Let’s try this again. Why do you think everyone should be like you?
Boss: Because I am the Boss and I say so duh!
Therapist: Of course you do! But don’t you think that your subordinates have their likes and dislikes too?
Boss: So what!
Therapist: You are not helping dear.
Boss: You are fired!!

Of course the therapy center will have burly guards who will not let him leave without completing the therapy.

Therapist: And how are you feeling today Mr. Boss!
Boss: I feel like wringing your neck.
Therapist (soothingly): Of course you do. But natural to feel that way. You have been in therapy only two days. By next week you will learn to curb your hostility!

Perhaps they will drug him a bit as part of his therapy...

Therapist: Open your mouth and eat up this pill.
Boss: What is it?
Therapist: Chill pill!
Boss: Why don’t you take it!
Therapist (evenly): I just took one…before I came in here.
Boss: In that case lady, I will take two.
Therapist: You are deliberately being ambiguous aren’t you?
Boss: I haven’t even started yet! Heh heh!

Maybe they will teach him to take things easy...

Therapist: Today we will learn to take it easy and enjoy life.
Boss: And pigs will fly! *snigger*
Therapist: According to the report submitted by your team, they are pretty sure of the same too.
Boss: That pigs will fly?
Therapist: That pigs will fly but you will never learn to take it easy.
Boss: Bummer!

Maybe he will drive try reverse Psychology on the Therapist...

Boss: Do you know that you will have considerable success with me if you are a little bit more professional?
Therapist: How so?
Boss: To begin with, how about we start therapy at 5:30 am!
Therapist: hmmm
Boss: We can have a working Breakfast at 8:30 am and then a working Lunch around 12:30 and then continue our session by 12:45 till 8:30 pm. That way we pack in a good twelve hours of session in a day!
Therapist: Nice try!
Boss (gleefully): But I almost had you there…didn’t I?
Therapist: I have to admit you did!
Boss: I AM GOOD!!!

Perhaps he will get cured...

Therapist: Today we will learn that there is more to life than work.
Boss: You are right! I have been thinking these last few days that I have been making a big deal of this thing called work.
Therapist (pleased): Now that’s a positive sign if I say so myself.
Boss: Work should be secondary in life.
Therapist: Absolutely!
Boss: Never realized how much I have missed out on life due to my obsession with work.
Therapist (beaming): I am so glad! Why Mr Boss, I think you are ready to be discharged!
Boss: muahahAHAHAHA! Err I mean thank you. I feel like a new man. As soon as I am out of here I will wring that Silverine's neck…I mean I am re-prioritizing my life. Thank you so much for all you have done.

Goodbye cruel world! Have a nice week!


Tails of 4 kitties said...

ROTFL.. Loved it!! Great post :))

What's In A Name!? said...

//I wish there was a rehab where we could send Bosses to get help.

Sigh, absolutely right - bosses need to realise there is more to life than work - Wonder if we will turn similarly insane when we become bosses eventually!?!?


Ranjith said...

he he he he :)
substitute our teacher NP here.. she follows us to our homes too!!! follows up!

--xh-- said...

great monday morning laughs.. muhuvaaha... thnx a lot, silverline [:)] a rehab for bosses - hm, i have a list of few people who I plan to send to that rehab, if u ever find or open one...

skar said...

LOL@I will wring that Silverine's neck…I mean I am re-prioritizing my life.

The best way to avoid the long hours of a work life is to do a PhD! :D

Anonymous said...

Run for your life... !!!!


that was as funny as it can get... !!! your posts are simply rotflol !!!! totally !

Twism said...

A rehab for bosses? Thats a great business model, IF you can get the bosses to take a break from whatever-voodoo-they-do-to-keep-them-occupied and visit the place.
Unfortunately, that's not how life works.

Sriram said...

Gee I keep pickin up all these valuable hate-the-boss flog-him-on-the-blog lessons on the net.. Try writing a Bosses for dummies (or is it the other way round?) :P

Rajlakshmi said...

I really wish there was a rehab for boss... where their allergy to the word Leave could be treated...
and where they would be made to understand that Sunday is a HOliday
Hillarious post there :)

Amal Bose said...

no doubt you are gonna get something from your boss..
can be a promotion for the change or firing for the humiliation .. ;)

silverine said...

Kitty Tails: Thank you dear! :)

What's in a name?: I am a mini boss and my team mates tell me that I ought to take work a lil more seriously heh heh :p

Ranjith: Thank god we did not have such teachers or I would have gone cuckoo! :)

--xh--: Thanks buddy! If I dont find one I will open one! :p

Kartik: So I have seen! :)

hitchwriter: Thank you!! :)

Nitram: Sigh!

Sriram: I am sure both titles will sell well! :D

Rajlakshmi: We can add that in the curriculum! :)

amal: If he finds out then the latter is more likely! :D

RukmaniRam said...

the things bosses do.

btw, monday morning blog post... ore working over the weekend o?

mathew said...

and the boss who taught you "Hello World" finally made you write "Goodbye cruel world"..well those are signs of a highly successful boss who doesnt need therapy!

Boss said...

MuahaHAHAHA...ahem...I am BACK!!....see you in office tommorrow...5:30 am sharp...we have work to do...*evil grin*

Sanchit said...

apt thing to read on monday... :D

thomas said...

Why did you send Boss to a female therapist? Silly but just curious. :D

Indyeah said...

lets send all the bosses for therapy!

Thoorika said...

Your post shows your "lowes" for your boss ;)

DPhatsez said...

dream on! it's definitely more likely that pigs fly ;)
oh there goes one!! (flutter flutter flutter..)

Janus said...

Dear Silverine's Boss,

Now that our professional lives have been "exposed" by this infuriating piece of sleazy journalism, courtesy your *%!@#$&) reportee, I suggest that we align resources and tactics in order to - ahem - control the situation before it gets out of hand.

1)Therapy for Silverine - "Work is Worship" - " Araam haram hai" - Motivational posters to be put up in her room / cubicle.

2)Active counselling to ensure that all her waking hours are spent thinking of work, work and more work...

3) Banning all access to Dilbert, or any other forum that criticises office life.

4) Finally - transferring her to my company - as a direct reportee to me ! [muhahahuahahahaha - **evilest grin with shiny eyes**]

I am sure that these inputs would have the intended effect, and would dissuade any further attempts by your !@#$%^& reportee.


Cheeku said...

Classy.. As usual :) Look at the number of followers!!! And "n" number of secret admirers too... or should I say (n-1) :)

silverine said...

Rukmani: Monday dreaming actually! ;)

Mathew: You presumed wrong! This is not the person who taught me to say "Hello World"

Boss: lol! :p
We have a plan B too for you. Be very afraid! :|

Sanchit: Nice to know that my Monday blues translated to Monday smiles for some folks! :)

thomman: I think you should ask the Rehab center that question! :|

Indyeah: I second that suggestion. :)

Thoorika: We all 'lowes' him a lot! :p

DPhatsez: lol!! But you are right :(

Janus: LOL!! You will make it big in HR one day. Mark my words!! :))

Cheeku: I wonder why you find it imperative to drum the n-1 fraction here. I couldn’t care less. ;)

Ordinary Guy said...

why is it that all bosses seem this way!!!!

lol!!! another good one silverine!

hammy said...

Never really believed therapy would work. Your therapist must be an amateur.

Most seasoned therapists are clearly taught during their early training that bosses are immune to their tactics. They wouldn't have taken up your case at all.

No, no, dearie. Therapy is not a solution at all. I am more in favor of the first course of action you recommended. And I wouldn't realy mind co-operating if it means reducing delays on your post.

So I've got the rope. And I've been practicing the Double Constrictor Knot.

So just give me the address and take a breather for a few weeks.

Philip said...

Imagine if your boss didn't do any work himself and still expected you to be a workaholic. Some unfortunate people in this world work under bosses like that. *sob* (i mean sob as in cry, not 'son of a ___' ;)

S said...

LOL!! :D
can we drug my boss and then make him sign appraisal letters, giving us more than 3years raise in one go?? *blip* aah shoot! even in my mind it sounds way too wishful...

Jeseem said...

I hope you boss returns enlightened and then share his light by sending his dear team to the psychiatrist for the next 4 weekends..
good one .. silverline

Safari Al said...

How much you belt your Boss...Pavam...

Btw, do you do anything beyond word, excel and power point?(this does not mean solitaire, freecell or minesweeper)

Bullshee said...

Ha ha ha!!!

Funnies good...

Me happy...

Thank you pretty lady...

Somya said...

Lovely post...wwish there was a rehab centre like this...I'd have loved to send a few ppl from my is my boss even chks wwid me during review sessions when am I getting married and the fact if given a choice between nice good looking intelligent and rich husband(ohk he says husband only) and my orngaisation...I'll choose my organisation..duh!

Solilo said...

Ha..ha..ha..hope you boss is not waiting for you with a pink slip.

Happy Easter!

Adorable Pancreas said...

Every time I hear the word therapist, my mind puts in space after the first three letters. Know too many stupid jokes and now everything is funny. :/

Dreamer said...

Reminds me of the Mr and Mrs Smith's Session :)

Annemarie said...

Brilliant! Send this to Dilbert! :-))

silverine said...

Ordianry Guy: Thank you! :)

Hammy: lol! Consider yourself hired!

Philip: I guess I should be counting my blessing! :|

S: But what an idea Sirjee! :))

Jeseem: Thanks buddy, nice to see you! :)

Safari Al: The cycle repeats itself...sigh!

Bullshee: Thanks! :D

Somya: My Boss tries to fix me with people here so that the bakra does not fly the coup after marraige! :p

S: Bakras don't get pink slips! :|

AP: Do share some of those jokes! :)

Dreamer: Let me Google that!

Annemarie: Thank you! :)