Sunday, March 09, 2008

Down rediscovery lane...

I have lost my identity! I mean I have lost my cooking identity!!! I realized this today morning as I was making breakfast. The realization woke me instantly and I was able to swiftly douse the flames in the kitchen with the help of the Fire Brigade. Weekend breakfasts in my home is made by the three of us siblings so that our mother can get a break from cooking and concentrate on cleaning the mess after we have finished. We are very caring kids you know! And while I was getting breakfast ready, I realized that I was automatically making stuff that the people in the house like.

Now most married women here would say - So what's new ??
To which I would say - Heloooo ladies, I am not married. I haven’t lost my individuality yet!!!! pffft
To which the ladies will say - Yenjoy while it lasts dear *snigger* and *loud unladylike laughter*

Back to the post. So I realized that I was cooking what everybody in the house likes and that I have been doing that for years now. Egads!!! The realization hit me like a thunderbolt!!! I was like a married old hag errr I mean wife now, who had no likes and dislikes of her own. Eeeeks!!!!!!

Emergency repair measures were needed I realized. I had to get back that carefree gal that burnt water when she was 6 years old!! Yes peoples, yours truly has the distinction of being the first wannabe cook kid to have burnt water. Don’t ask me how. But according to my ma I did it and she is damn proud of it. (And that makes it a grand total of "one" thing about me that she is proud of.)

Mom 1: My daughter burnt the toast today. She is learning to cook you know! So sweet.
Mom 2: Mine burnt the fried egg. But only partially. I am so proud of her!!!
My mom: Mine burnt the water.
Mom1 and 2: Leelamme, do you know you have just set a world record for moms!!!
My mom (fluttering eyelashes modestly): I know! *blush*

Anyway I decided that I really needed to reverse the trend and enjoy some years of individuality before I totally lose it on the sacrificial altar of marriage in a couple of years. After some frantic reading of self help sites on the Internet I sat down to de-psyche me of my present culinary enslavement. I had a deep and meaningful chat with my inner me after hunting for her for a good one hour! I finally found her with the help of two stiff shots of Vodka. The poor thing was totally disoriented and had to be coaxed out of her shell with some gentle regressive hypnosis techniques

Silverine (S): Dear girl, today I shall take you back to your childhood and strip the layers of influences that has smothered the real you and then I will bring you back as a spanking new individual with a distinctive character of her own!
Inner Me (in a zombie like voice): Yes Silverine!
S: Think of the day you first felt that stirring to cook!!
Inner me (IM): Ok!
S: What did you want to cook?
IM: The dog actually. But I couldn’t lift him up.
S: err...I mean when did you want to cook like your mom?
IM: hmmm lemme think….
S: It’s been two hours since you have been thinking dear….
IM: I forgot :(
S: Sigh….
IM: I remember!!!
S: Good!!!
IM: The first thing I wanted to make was Ice Cream when I was 8 years old.
S: Good!!! And what ice cream did you want to make?
IM: hmm Dad said I should make Chocolate flavor, chetan ( eldest bro) wanted Strawberry , the other brother wanted Pista and Mom wanted a Valium to drown the thought of me in her kitchen.
S: And what flavor did “you” want to make?
IM: I don’t remember :(
S: That’s all right dear! What is the five operations in the production of ganja cigarettes?
IM: Huh!
S: oooops forget I said that …just one of those self help sites I stumbled onto when I was looking for help for our session you know! Ahem…now tell me what was the next thing you wanted to make?
IM: Cake!!
S: And what cake did you want to make?
IM: Dad wanted Coconut cake, chetan wanted sponge cake, M wanted Chocolate cake and Mom wanted me out of the kitchen!
S: *groan* and what did “you” want to make?
IM: I don’t remember :(
S: Sigh….Anju is there anything you remember about yourself?
IM (looking around): Anju? Who is that?
S: That’s your name for gods sakes!!!
IM: My folks call me Kookie!
S: OMG! Do you have a personality of yours at all!
IM: Duh!
S: (gritting her teeth):…and what was the next thing you wanted to make dear….
IM: Milkshake!!
S (sarcastically): Lemme guess…your Dad wanted Mango milkshake, chetan wanted Strawberry, M wanted Chikoo and your mom wanted out, right?
IM: Spot on!!! But how did you guess that???
S: Never mind. Another Vodka?
IM: Make it a beer. I have been conditioned to drink Vodka you see as the people in the house like Vodka on a Sunday.
S: Bravo!!! I am so proud of you! We are finally making progress!!
IM: Thank you!! Anyways….by that time I fourteen I was standing on my own two feet as a fairly accomplished cook!
S: Wow!! And what is your favorite cuisine?
IM: Dad likes Chinese, chetan likes naadan, M likes…
S (cutting in hurriedly): you have anything stiffer than Vodka or Beer? Like a bullet to the temple or a Grenade I can pop in the mouth perhaps hmm?

Anyway the session was good and I firmly resolved that I would henceforth cook what I want. And after cooking what I wanted for Lunch today and throwing most of the Eggplant Moussaka, Vegetable Lasagna, Spinach and Broccoli Au Gratin and Coconut Mousse in the dustbin, I also resolved that from now on when I cook what I want, I will make it really small portions. *sigh*


Anonymous said...

Get well soon Silverine! =0

Yes; me too swear not to sin ever!

Nave said...

Perhaps you should marry a chef Silverine ..n continue to live your life with individuality all your life... :P

mathew said...

hahaha..that song is national song in our aint supposed to make fun of that!! ;-P

Eggplant Moussaka, Vegetable Lasagna, Spinach and Broccoli Au Gratin and Coconut Mousse...madamji u are truly an internationl cook..that is some serious range..btw you could have made vegetable lasagne better by having a layer of grated chicken and topped with a fine slice of liver..err..forget about it.. ;-P

And throwing away coconut mousse !!:-O
You should be tied to a canon which will fire coconuts for this unspeakable crime of yours..

Nishant Chandgotia said...

Introspection ....anjali style...hilarious

and"Eggplant Moussaka, Vegetable Lasagna, Spinach and Broccoli Au Gratin and Coconut Mousse" how did you ever discover all of this..or did someone want to eat it???scary

Anonymous said...

Brilliant post! The eating majority cannot be ignored Silverine ;-)

silverine said...

Balu: I know, that video puts the fear of God in you!

Nickdigital: Thats a good idea :)

Mathew: Actually they are easy to make and made during non Lent time with meat :) And only the left overs were thrown away as the menfolk wont touch such dishes without meat :(

Nishanth: Thank you. These are easy as pie dishes to make and very popular if an added ingredient "meat" is included :)

Meesa; That is what I learnt today *sigh*

Philip said...

Next time you decide to make what you want, remember that there is a difference between what you want to do and what you can do. You can either try to bridge the gap by becoming a better cook or give 2 stiff shots of vodka to your consumers(from what I've read, it looks like that'll be just yourself most of the times):D
That video was just amazing - what classy sets, what scintillating moves and what music. Pity they don't make movies like those nowadays :p

scorpiogenius said...

looks as if blogging suits you better than cooking!

You can also share the world record of burning water with myself... :)

Seema said...

LOL,I will ask my mom whether she was proud of me too when I "tried" to boil milk in a plastic pan.
That video is a gem!!

Amey said...

So, I gather you are as good a cook as your bro is a cocktail-mixer? A Family Restaurant and Bar sounds like a good plan now. I know some people who will invest in such a venture *Muahahahaha* (Sorry, was that too early?)

P.S. For all those married girls/women out there who read this post, we can give you discount rates on effigies. Just get a good photograph of Silverine, and you are set ;)

Karthik said...

Cooking on your own is Mission Impossible,eh? :-)

Anonymous said...

thank God mom was at least spared the torture of tasting that eggplant something :D

Safari Al said...

If you are thinking of starting a n eating joint, please tell me the name and the address.

I will try to avoid the place like hell. I would want one of my fave bloggers to sin by feeding me food that might be injurious to me mental and physical well-being. And more so, I do not wish to be the whipping boy of a post here.

Ok, kidding. How do you make Eggplant Moussaka?

Deepti said...

So when can i taste ur Eggplant Moussaka, Vegetable Lasagna, Spinach and Broccoli Au Gratin and Coconut Mousse" . Lemme know soon .. need to book tickets for Bangalore ;-)

Anonymous said...

Whoa! Stop!! Right now. I hope your folks do not read your blog with any more scrutiny than you would read income tax revision documents.

You have, in so many words, said that you can relate to the life of a married woman. No, you haven't said that explicitly, but the context is set.

Concerned relatives dive nose first into statements like that and if you think I can stretch the truth, you have NO clue what c. relatives can do... That paragraph alone is enough to drive in the rumor that Anjumol is yearning to get hitched and bumped off into the road of life. You may go kicking and screaming, but that will be attributed to modesty.

I don't know if you were finally able to find out YOUR favourite dishes, but in case you haven't, you will have to fake it. Take up some random dishes that nobody else really likes, and proclaim in a loud, bickering, irritating voice how much you love it.

"Oh, boy. there's NOTHING I love more than halwa dipped in meen chaar"

"I'm not hungry, but HOW can I resist my favourite dish - laddoos blended in mathanga milkshake?"

"Burp!! That was the best dish of chaala mixed with jelly and chutney that I've ever had"

"Amma, when are you going to prepare avalose podi fried in egg white?"

Sure, it may get you some weird looks, and mommy may cry a bit ("Ente Anjuvinenthu patti?? Where did I go wrong with her? Waaaa"), but they will think that you still have your individuality...

That should tide you over for a while.

silverine said...

Philip: :)) Actually I have to see long faces if I don't cook on weekends as people are gagging at moms naadan preparation by weekend :p I have got too used to basking in praise and making exactly what people want to eat. So from now on it will be my tastes also in the menu but in small portions! :)

scorpiogenius: Actually I am good at cooking :)

SR: Aiyyo! Me too have tried cooking in a plastic pan :p

Buf: She did get to eat it and liked it too ;)

Amey: LOL!!! Good one dude. Wish you could see the effigy I made of you!! It will be real sad to see it go up in smoke *sob*

Karthik: Nopes :) It is Mission Clean and Possible without Heartburn!

Safari al: Your loss dude. I am a good cook hummph!

Deepti: Next time I give you advance notice :)

Hammy: LOL!!
Some people was going hyuk hyuk reading your comment. Now I have to cook for them or they will take a printout and show it to the folks they say. You watch you back hammy and be very afraid grrr

Amey said...

Nothing personal Silverine. Just like any savvy salesman, I didn't want to lose an opportunity to push my stuff. I guess you know how the business makes you do things you personally wouldn't went to do ;)

That said, please send me a photo of the effigy, and if possible, a video of it going up in smoke. We may have some openings in our research/production departments.

So, how was today's breakfast?

Anonymous said...

buf??? is it for me, burf?

Dhanya said...

Hey big chef so when are you calling us to show off your culinary skills ? We'll make sure you won't have anything to throw off :P

Zahid said...

Hehe....The Great Indian Cook by now !!!!

Mind Curry said...

you are always cooking..if its not food, its something (or someone!) for sure..talented for sure!

Mind Curry said...

and didnt you tell me recently you thought moussaka was a person..


Anonymous said...

Umm... methinks 'dorleeeng' was the highpoint of all the videos linked ;-)

How are the therapy sessions going? :D

Anonymous said...

that was one hilarious post...

Howling Wolf said...

after hearing about those dishes, it wud be better U retain your individuality..
enthinnae verutae oru raktha (Bhaksya)sakshi.. :)

Anyways great post

Safari Al said...

Swalpa prove maadi!!!

Ram Iyer said...

...somehow feel that your 'thinkpad' blog is better than this one. just a 'IMHO'.

albeit, the family post was good.


kannan udayarajan said...

We are very caring kids you know..

reminded me of my childhood .I used to flood our driveway whenever amma asked me to water her plants..

Great blog you have here..!Will be back for more..

cheers !

Unknown said...

ROTFLMAO.... ente dhaivame!
@ the sneak preview of hell...

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

Same with my self-brewed wines. I seem to be the only person that likes them!
i also agree with nickdigital. you should marry a chef.
i'm one part-time, and i have my own secret brewery.
will you marry me?
will you will you?

Karthik said...

@toothless wonder: So you will eat what silverine makes and she will taste ur self-brewed wines? lol

Safari Al said...

that's like one dead couple!!!

AnneK said...

Offtopic but, I always read your blog title as poomanam (smell of flowers). Haven't been here in a while and saw that you added the trivia :-)

Anonymous said...

..great post :P

Usha said...

hey I still manage to burn water once in a while! :)

I know a friend who's even worse.. he attempted cooking rice in a kadai! no, he was no kid then.. all of 25 and he never knew how they cooked rice! so, these days whenever I cook something which HAS to be thrown away as soon as it's out of the pan, I think of this one, and I really feel better. no, really!

silverine said...

Amey: I am afraid I wasn't able to photograph the event for the competition :p

Burf: Yep!

Dhanya: I am sure you wont as it will be veg :)

Zahid: Good not great :)

Mind curry: Thank you doc :)

MC: A Greek hunk ;)

Loup: Well this was a different genre of movie making from the former.

Geet: Thanks...and with that comment you are among the few who understood the post :)

Fresh Lime Soda: Thank you :)

Safari Al: :)

kannan udayarajan: Thank you :)

Iceman: Glad you enjoyed the hellish exp :p

TW: Ahem...since I am going to marry a chef I have decided it will be a Exec Sous Chef of a 7 seven star hotel ;)

Sriram: Both the blogs are totally different in content...this is written in lighter vein and the other is my observations on social issues.

Safari Al: LOL!!! Till death do us part :p

Annek: I get lots of questions on the same...hence the trivia :)

Rahul: Thanks buddy :)

Usha: Well in my case I am a good cook and the extra food was thrown as the men wont touch veg :)

Nave said...

lol .. Silverine, you gotta gimme some credit to bounce off that brilliant idea to u :P .. lol .. i have never been to a chef's wedding, dont forget to invite me to your wedding .. :P

Syam Nath S. said...

ROFL at that video... durantham

P.S. I can cook. Or rather, i'd like to belive/claim that i can.

Safari Al said...

More like "till Eggplant mousakka with wine dinner do we part"

aks said...

hilarious one as alwayz.... marrying a chef wud be a nice option 4 u...but then whether ur individuality wud still be intact is to be seen...

Athira said...

Awesome post !! Just came across ur blog.. I agree, people generally end up cooking wat the household needs, not wat they need... lol .. that happens till .. lets say, someone pinches his/her nose up in the air out of disapproval ;-)

rk said...

rofl...awesome post...thumbs up