Saturday morning and my best friend Nina drops in. She is amongst the 345 other ‘best friends’ I have ( psst don’t tell her this). Now Nina is very nifty with the scissors. I mean she is quite good in giving a neat trim for our tresses that saves most of us a trip to the salon and a mean Rs 300/-. 'Money saved is money well spent' is our Sorority motto.
Amma: Sure dear. After you are married you can do anything you want.
Me: And can I become Sheik Al Arabis 18th wife? He has a mean swimming pool you know!!!
Amma: of course mole!!! Anything after your are married! *angelic smile*
And so cutting my hair is an absolute no-no with her because “ no good achayathi girls cut their hair besides “ no achayan boy worth his salt will marry you if you do!! ’
FIL: Idhu chadhi aannu!! grr
Bridegrooms brother: Dad!! Mom!! We cannot stay here a minute longer!!
Bridegroom’s sister: This is an insult to our family!
Broker to my Dad: You ruined my reputation.
My Mom: My heart is paining *gasp*
My Dad: Someone call the doctor!!
FIL: We are leaving. I consider it an insult to even drink water in this house.
My Dad: Nooooo please don’t do this. Pleeeeeaaaase!! I beg of you. Please don't go.... *sob*
The Bridegrooms family drives away in a huff.
Scene at our
Congregation: tch tch Amen!
Scene at my mothers house in Changanassery
Aundy 1: *wail* Mein loot gayi, barbaad ho gayi err… I mean ente daivamme what misfortune has befallen our family!!! Aiyyo!!
Aundy 2: *wail*
Aundy 3: *bawl*
Aundy 4: *sob*
Aundy5: *swoon* *thud*
Scene at my Dads tharavaadu (ancestral house) in Pala.
Uncle three: Our niece has done us proud. This occasion calls for a Scotch I say!
Uncle four: *smile*
Uncle five: And Scotch it is!!