Monday, April 25, 2011

Insider betting

I and Mr. Kanjoos* were the only people in the new building. We were here for a meeting. I looked at Mr. Kanjoos and said demurely. "I need to ask you something."

Kanjoos looked up at me and exclaimed with a smile, "Go ahead! Shoot!"

I fluttered my eyelashes and said, "I need some change."

"Sure! How much?" asked Kanjoos with a broad patronizing smile.

"I am building a house and any contribution will help."

Kanjoos gasped and started wheezing while his face turned ashen. He clutched his heart and looked like he would keel over.

“Hehe I am kidding!" I giggled. "I need 5 bucks to pay the coffee fellow. I don’t have any change."

Kanjoos struggled to gain composure but the impact of the first statement was still creating shock waves and negated the waves of relief that was trying to wash over him. His face was now a dirty white with red blotches and he looked like he was going to have as exultant heart attack. He tried his best to smile but it came out as a lop sided snarl.

"About that five bucks…" I asked with fake hesitancy. He swiftly removed a five rupee coin from his pocket and thrust it into my hands. His last record for parting with money was two minutes. The person who achieved that feat was SS, who convinced Kanjoos that a free PF withdrawal form now costs two bucks.

Today he bettered his record by 30 seconds. The person who achieved that feat was yours *cough* brilliantly truly.

That would make me 100 bucks richer from the betting syndicate in the office who were so sure I would lose that the stakes were loaded in favor of Kanjoos.

Next week the stakes have been raised higher. Foxy has declared that he will get money out of Kanjoos in one minute. We are eagerly looking forward to the challenge. Brisk betting is happening as I type this post dear people!

Will Kanjoos better his record next week? Or will Foxy bite the dust? No one knows.

So I am putting my money on both, tee hee.

Wish me luck peoples!


Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Driving to work or riding an auto is made a little less boring and or terrifying (in that order) by the umpteen FM Radio Stations that entertain you on the way with bad, really bad and sometimes really horrible songs requested by listeners. Left to themselves, the RJ’s do a good job of playing a good mix of music both Hindi and English. However, more entertaining than these songs are listeners who come on air to convey appreciation or generally chat up with the RJ or answer some weird contest question like, “Who do you think is more faithful in love? Guys or gals?” (I am dead serious here folks).

One such listener came on air today and he was very emphatic about his appreciation for this particular station!

Listener: Hello Radio XYZ! I love your station!!
RJ: Thank you!!
Listener: You people have kept my sanity since I came to Bangalore four months ago!
RJ: Wow! And how did we err… do that?
Listener: I have to get up every morning and you know what?
RJ: What!
Listener: Go to work!!
RJ: Ahem…
Listener: And you know what!
RJ: Err... what?
Listener: I have to get into a cab and see the moronic faces of my colleagues!
RJ: *cough*
Listener: And then I have to go into the office and actually …!
RJ: Work?
Listener: Exactly! It is the songs you play that keep me sane!
RJ: Umm...errr...
Listener: I am tuned into your station the whole day! I even wear my headphones during meetings!!
RJ: And what does your boss have to say about this?
Listener: Why don’t you ask him! He is right here!
RJ: Well…I don’t think that is….
Boss: Hello!
RJ: Yes sir!
Boss: #$@% you *%$! son of a @#$%@ %$&@ and your @#%#$ and your @#$#% and your ancestors and their #$@%...
RJ: *gulp* Thank you for listening. Have a nice day *SLAM!!!*

And then he played a really nice song for a very long time.