Breaking news!

I am going to be a TV news reporter!! Yes friends, I have just made up my mind and as soon as I find a News channel willing to hire me I will make the transition from my boring Communications job into the exciting world of TV news reporting. Besides getting to travel free to exciting places like Hyderabad flyovers I will also come on TV and my mom can say "How dare she wear such short tops!!"

TV reporting looks as easy as ABC. Anyone can do it. All it needs is an ability to ask probing intelligent questions that will elicit maximum information for the news hungry TV audience. I have been watching a lot of News Channels lately to pick up tips and tricks that will come in handy in my new job. For people who would like to follow in my footsteps, here are some pointers to becoming a good TV reporter.

1. When you see a badly battered bomb victim who is bleeding and is being carried on a stretcher his limbs being carried along in another stretcher, all you have to do is stuff the mike up his nose and ask "Aapko kaisa lag raha hai?" ( What do you think/feel?)

2. When you see people boating around a flood submerged street with their meager worldly possessions, stick the mike onto their face and ask "So you have become homeless because of the rains? Aapko kaisa lag raha hai?"

3. When you see people being inconvenienced by road blocks and bundhs like the recent BJP road blockade over the Ram Setu issue, stick the mike into the face of a 'inconvenienced person' and ask "What do you feel, now that you cannot go to office due to this road blockade?" For variety ask a school kid in uniform who has missed school like all other school children in the city “So you missed school because of the road blockade huh?" For more variety ask another 'inconvenienced member of the public' "What do you want to say to the people who blocked the road?"

4. Stick a long furry mike into the face of man whose wife has delivered their baby on the road due to the doctors strike and ask sympathetically “So your wife had to deliver the baby on the road uh?" "Aapko kaisa lag raha hai?"

5. In gentle tones ask a woman who has been raped “Aapka balaathkaar hua? Aapko kaisa lag raha hai?"

Expansion of course material welcome in the comments section. Due acknowledgment will be given to you in the book that I am bringing out called “TV News Reporting for Dummies"