Saturday, October 13, 2007

On the wrong end of the phone line

Among the numerous calls for Credit Card, Debit Cards, Personal Loans, deliberate wrong numbers by guys and other calls that I get, yesterday I got a telecall of a different nature:

Caller: Hello is this Mr XYX

Me: No this is “Miss” XYZ

Caller: Oh sorry Sir!

Me: Never mind. What do you want?

Caller: Where are you working?

Me: And why do you want to know that?

Caller: We have an exciting job opportunity with a US based MNC Sir.

Me: Well…right now I am not interested in a change…

Caller: This is one of the largest MNC’s in the US Madam!!!

Me: Thank you for your interest, but right now I am quite happy where I am…

Caller: This is a big opportunity for career advancement Sir!!

Me ( cutting in) : How did you get my number?

Caller: From your resume Sir!

Me: How did you get my resume?

Caller: From a job site madam.

Me: But I do not have my resume on any of the job sites!

Caller: errr I don’t know Sir from where our procurement team got your resume. But this is just the opening for someone like you!

Me: What do you mean someone like me?

Caller: Someone with your kind of experience and job profile. We have short listed your resume after careful consideration Madam.

Me: Really? And on what basis did you select my resume. Eenie Meenie Minee Mo method? Heh heh

Caller: No ma, our Procurement Team works with our Internal Process Team to ensure a perfect match!!

Me: Oh ok!

Caller: And money is not a problem here. You can earn upto a crore a year!

Me: Which company is this? The Grand Bank Robbery Inc? ha ha...

Caller: No Sir. It is ABC Life. America’s leading Insurance Company!!! They are looking for Insurance Agents for……

Me: %#$*#$ *SLAM*


I hope ABC Life Insurance has its a**e covered with it’s most Premium A**e Covering Scheme because if I get one more call from their Placement Agency and I will sue them to kingdom come.

What next? Telecallers from Matrimonial Bureaus? I wouldn’t be surprised if we get a call like this in the future!


Caller: Miss ABC are you single?

ABC: Yes!

Caller: Are you planning to get married anytime soon?

ABC: Yes!

Caller: In that case we have an exciting and promising proposal for you. He is 5 feet 11 inches tall, MBA, wheatish complexion and a teetotaler. Doesn’t smoke, is God fearing…..


The future is so bright for telecallers. *groan*


28 comments:

Ashu said...

lol. way too hillarious. my first visit.

aks said...

hey dear..... hilarious it was as always...... was a refresher to read.....bac after a long hiatus from the virtual world....

crazyBugga said...

wat i do to the caller is tat i askin her personal questions... that way she does not call back... come to think of it... tats wat i have been doin in real life as well...

Dhanya said...

lol :) even I have got some calls like this who got my office no(!) from my resume(which itself is non-existent) And the opening will always be tailor made for me..:)

Fleiger said...

Oh yes, I had that experience when I was working. Here in US, they use e-mails.

And you have just given me a brilliant business idea for start-up. Want to join me?

Sreejith said...

the only way to deal with this menace is to have Himesh's caller tunes.... OOooooooooooooooooooooo :P

i hope i got the right number of oo's

Hyde said...

They kept switching between calling you "Sir" and "Madam"?!

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

i reiterate : i *still* can leave my number, and then you can be on the other end.

Ajith said...

My friends ask the call representative for their number if its a girl..They even promise them to call them back :)..btw, " a teetotaler. Doesn’t smoke, is God fearing… " -- this type would be very boring :)

Alexis said...

Nice one...but you have to salute the perseverance of these people. Marriage by telemarketing... that is a nice idea--a business opportunity:-)

mathew said...

I love insurance agents..they are so great people to talk to..Cant you understand their love and affection..their worry about ur future...Please dont make fun of them.They dont deserve it..

P.S.They deserve to be strapped in rockets and send to outer space for eternity!!

Adorable Pancreas said...

I keep thinking about how the conversation would go if the matrimonial guy called you mister? ROTFL!

Sameera said...

Good one! :)

ap said...

We all do get irritated by the numerous telecallers.But one thing we forget is the other side of the story....poor telecallers...What kinda abuse they go through daily!!!

PS: Matrimonial telecallers..we do have them rite???our relatives ;)

cOOL_aLIEN_fRM_mARS said...

lol....You just gave me a GREAT business idea...telemarketing Matrimonial Bureaus :P...now if only I could get hold of all the engineer's parent's numbers :P

Arun Jose said...

Hehe... what a prediction for future...! I just hope that day never comes! :-))

hope and love said...

:))
I would love to listen to u answer a 'martimonial telemarketer'

Kusum Rohra said...

You refused an opportunity to make that kind of money?

tch tch tch

silverine said...

ashu: Thank you :)

aks: Nice to see you dear :)

crazybugga: lol!!

dhanya: My colleague, a senior marketing mgr also got a call to be an Insurance Agent :)

fleiger: Even here we get emails! Right now I have many offers from people for a business venture in matrimonial telemarketing :p

sreejith: tch tch you missed two oo's. That is a punishable crime!!!grrr
:p

hyde: They call everyone Sir.

toothless wonder: Sure you can leave your number :)

annie: It looks like that now :p

ajith: That was just a description of things to come :) And how many guys will describe themselves as "alcoholic and an atheist" in a marriage portal LOL!!

Alexis: That seems to be giving too many people business ideas :)

mathew: rofl!! Yeah, thats exactly what I feel like doing to them too. They are soo irritating!!

AP: Lol!!! It might just happen :))

ap: You are right! Relatives are an ancient form of a Call Centre I guess :)

cool alien: These matrimony portals can get rich by selling that data alone :)

arun jose: Me too brrr

HnL: :p

kusum: Opportunity sends tele callers these days, instead of knocking which is why I missed out :(
:p

Fleiger said...

And that's why we should start before competition is in market. We can get outsourced business from matrimony, shaadi and such sites if we hurry.

scorpigle said...

matrimonial telemarketing.. lol.. please patent the idea before it's too late!
Club membership is another on the allergens list.
Goos post!

blueneutron said...

He he good one as always...have been reading your blog for quite some time now...
I remember reading another post on the same cranky calls sometime back...the dude in question poses as a crime investigator and terrifies the call center guy by saying that he has called to a scene of crime and the person he wants to talk to has been murdered...it was hilarious LOL!

looney said...

Good one, like your earlier posts. You will make a good middle-piece writer in the media.

പെരിങ്ങോടന്‍ said...

ഉവ്വ ലാസ്റ്റിലെ സ്വപനം നടന്നത് തന്നെ ;)

Hammy said...

Telephonic marriage brokerage, eh?

Funny, but troubling. Now the disturbing part of this idea is that it is not really that far fetched....

Not just the propositioning, but actual marriages have often taken place over the internet and the phone...

Sane judges (now a rare species) usually condemn such 'marriages' and label them as illegal.

However, if http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6380911.stm is to be believed, even that is undergoing a change....

So... the next time you pick up your phone, be careful what you say to the caller... and whatever you do, don't say "I do"

You may just get married via a wrong connection...

:)

Padakkam said...

ola... tooo funny as always.. ever thought of being a stand up comedian for asianet? there is a major shortage of funny ladies on mallu tv u know.. :)
by the way.. have added u in my blogroll.. hope thats ok :)

Padakkam said...

hey... thanks for the comment.. its so true.. other than "the killing fields" there is no other documented chronicle about the cambodian genocide. I was talking to my guide.. who lived thru the civil war and pol pot's times... there are so many stories to tell.. to learn from...

and by the way the name change was because there were some issues with my "company" which required me to hide my official identity :D.. meddling american corporate rats... ;)

monu said...

LOl.. can we call matrimonial telecallers "moonan" ?..or is it that they are working for a "moonan" :O.