Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I dare to dream

Some of my friends who thought they would finally get to see my dreams man’s profile were disappointed with my last tag though they quite liked the spirit behind it. Alexis even pointed out that I had evaded the question all together. So I will take up the tag again and this time, try and list the things I want in my Perfect Lover.
To be frank, I have absolutely no clue to the personality traits that I want in my Perfect Lover. I rarely noticed guys since I studied in all girls educational institutions throughout my life. Besides I was too busy doing the things single gals do to even think of a boyfriend. However I will give a shot at what I expect in my perfect lover.

So here it is redone for P , V and Alexis


Rules of the game are...

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.

Sex of the target :
Male

MY PERFECT LOVER (PL)

1. My Perfect Lover(PL) will have a sense of humor. He will understand that I like to look at the funny side of life. It’s not like I am frivolous, but don’t expect me to sit and moan if I had a bad day at office. I prefer to forget unpleasant incidents or remove myself from unpleasant situations and get on with life as soon as possible.

2. My PL will be a person I can sit and talk with for hours. He will enjoy talking to me and listening to me as much as I enjoy talking and listening to him. Shut me out of the conversation and you shut me out of your life. (Communication is very important to me.)

3. My PL will be able to tell me if I have hurt him in any way and also if I have made him happy in any way. I will do the same. I like to appreciate and be appreciated. (And if he doesn’t tell me what I have done to piss him off I cannot rectify it, can I?)

4. My PL will not expect me to be a ‘wife’ in the traditional sense. He will want me as a life partner and not housekeeper, cook, and babysitter. However if he helps out 50% of the time, I am willing to do all that. (I believe that it takes two active participants to make a relationship.)

5. My PL will understand that I have a family and friends I care deeply about. He will be the most important person in my life but my folks will not be any less. I on my part am willing to accept that his family and friends are important to him too. (I beieve that freedom within a relationship is important).

6. I am a one man woman and I expect him to be a one woman man too. (Fidelity is the foundation on which relationships are built).

7. I have hobbies/interests that will take me away from station/home from time to time. He should be broadminded enough to accept it.(In short I need space to grow. And I am willing to accept that he will also have interests or hobbies that he would like to pursue)

8. I am a very demonstrative person in showing my love and affection so my Perfect Lover will be demonstrative too. He will not be reticent and will not mind the unexpected bear hugs and stolen kisses that will come his way very often.

53 comments:

Anoop MohanKumar said...

and there she goes......
just like another "SHE"

1.'space to grow'
2.'understanding'
3.'Fidelity'
4.'not a baby sitter'
5.'accepted by the family n friends'
6.'broadminded' etc etc...

Why can't women live without these?!!

*oh, was all that in the blog, on a serious note?* YES!!!!then mine too :)

Matter of Choice said...

Hmmmm....finally one begins to get more clarity on the mystery woman!

wishing you the good fortune in finding ur PL (ie if you havent already found him)

Cheers
MoC

josh said...

A 'serious' post finally!

Have been following your blog for quite sometime now..always managed to bring a smile or two on my face.

This post made me introspect.. and I believe I still have a lotta homework to do.

Also, a smart lady as you are, it wouldnt be a surprise if that 'PL' u hav so often used here, hints at some Project Lead at your work place [:)]!

Happy Life!

Arun said...

Two words: Just perfect!
All of the points you've made, I totally agree with.. (and personally would expect the same from my project lead a.k.a. wife);-)

silverine said...

@Anoop: Yes, This was written seriously. And this is the description of your PL too? There is hope for you yet!: ))
@MoC: Thank you ! :)
@Josh: Thank you. And 'no', the PL stands for Perfect Lover and not Project Lead :))
@Arun: Project Lead a.k.a known as wife says a lot!! Thanks for that vote of approval. Guess great minds think alike :)

>|' ; '| said...

finally a woman who wants communication from a man and not try to guess work!!!
no wonder u are in the communication industry!

by demonstrative do ye mean tht u gona do gheraos and go 'on strike, on strike, silverine on strike@#$#@$'

jk jk :-)

Arti Honrao said...

Seen the other side of Silverine in this post. Sensible and down to earth demands, which are heart and soul of a successful relationship.

All the very best
GBU
Arti

Alexis Leon said...

This is more like it :-) Very nicely done.

I think you have got a good idea of the things you want in your PL, even though you claim otherwise :-)

From the points you have listed, my conclusion is that you want your PL to be a romantic at the same time practical with a good sense of humor. He must be more of a friend than the "husband."

I wish you all the best in finding your perfect lover.

Mind Curry said...

great..its good to see the real you unveiled..i always knew you are a true romantic and sensitive soul..this ones real-ly perfect, the other was really great.

Rockus said...

Finally! Some sensible words...
I like that point 8...Missed in my list.
Guess u have a pretty clear picture behind a veil of time...

Nathan said...

I've done much thinking on the topic of a woman's "perfect lover" and I've come to the realization that women don't want a nice, caring man like one that you described. Instead, women would rather date/marry the complete jerk who treats her like a slave and abuses her on occasion.

How do I know this? Because all the a-holes have the sweetest and most caring girlfriends.
The nice, caring, loving guys... yeah... they're all single.

If you haven't read the ladder theory (http://www.laddertheory.com/) I would definitely reccomend it. :)

On a more serious note... I just wanted to say thanks for visiting my blog earlier.
I've read a few of your posts and was wondering if you would mind me linking to your blog from mine. If that would be ok let me know.

I hope to read more awesome posts by you.

Lalit Singh said...

not mind the unexpected bear hugs and stolen kisses that will come his way
Oh believe me he won't... :-P

BTW reading the whole thing with 'PL' made sure my Project Leader's picture was hovering over my head all the time... not a good way to read some interesting text :-)

Dr. Pissed said...

Communication is very important to me too.

quills said...

Good list of qualities to have in a perfect mate. Hope you find him or he finds you soon even if you aren't looking. :)

Ganja Turtle said...

How very "poomanam"esque...Dream on,silver girl...

Lost in trance... said...

voila! and then there was revelation!

i like 2 n 8 :)

silverine said...

@Poison: LOL The strike call reminds me of Dr. Dolittle Part 2.Guess work never works believe me :))
@Arti:"Sensible and down to earth demands, which are heart and soul of a successful relationship" Exactly.
@Alexis: You summed it up very well. Thanks to you I had a serious think on the said subject.
@mindcury: Thank you! This was a shot in the dark. But it got me thinking ;)
@rockus: I am pretty clear that he should have these basic attributes.
@Nathan: Someone gave me the link to the 'Men are from mars' post of yours.It is brilliant!!! What you say is very true cos I have seen it happening with friends of mine. Please go ahead and link my blog. Thank you!!
@Lalit:is your Project Lead cute?? :))
@dr pissed:Me too!!!! :))
@Quills: Thank you girl. Hope I bump into him when I am ready for him LOL
@Ganja turtle: Dreams are free...
@Lostintrance: :))

Browser said...

Sounds just like my wife's wishlist. One thing I found out the hard way - do not have your parents and your in-laws in the same city. Most of my time is spent shuttiling between the two houses when I visit TVM. Somtimes upto 10 times a day.

@Nathan - that beautiful girls BF is always a a*#h*** to the other boys.

Anonymous said...

ey... u r scarily like me only.. ashoo! & i know a guy just like that, want his number?

-Juniorfrom coll.

Jagan said...

hey silverine ..all ur posts are funny ..i cudnt find anything humourous in this one ..or is it that the whole post was supposed to be a joke ? :-) .

neways ..i think expectations break relationships ...wht do u think of it ?

Jithu said...

liked the last one berry munch! :p

Praveen said...

Hmmmm... heres wishing you and the PPL(prospective perfect lover, whoever it is) the very best :), hope you will find him soon.

Geo said...

1. What comes to my mind is that movie scene where Sreenivasan dictates that joke to his ‘brand new’ wife

"hotel aanennu karuthi barbar shop-il kayariya oraal... " ;_))

u will make that poor chap do that and more... =))

Red salutes to the would be (read martyr)!!!

Safari Al said...

I want a woman like that. Please please help....

Valentine's is less than 15 days away and i dont have a date.
Baaaawll.

kornkob said...

Perfect !! Realistic list that can be used as a bench mark by men and women. You just reinforced the fact young ladies like you want ownership of their lives rather than roses and champagne and moonlight drives.

Kewl! You just made me break into poetry young lady :)

silverine said...

@browser: lol that sounds painful. And what you said to Nathan sounds true :))
@Anon: Hi DP!! ashoo anger came. Does that ring a bell? :))
@Jagan: No this post is not a big joke :) Expectations lead to choice dont they?
@Jithu: Thank you berry munch LOL
@Praveen : thank you, I hope so too :)
@Geo:Red salute to your would-be martyr too =))
@Safari Al: *hugs* This Feb 14th you will be my Valentine! :)
@Kornkob: Lovely poem. Lovely thought! You will win hearts one day :)

Sujit said...

A splindid way of telling what you exactly want from your PL.. a point blank hit!!

ursjina said...

great one ...the ones i anted to include..but cudnt do so..kudos!!!!

Fleiger said...

errr... many people have already mentioned it, but "PL" sounded horribly like Project Leader.

The horrible part was company flashback. Unfortunately, there were not many lovely PLs around then. Still, right now I am ROTFL thinking of you asking your PL (in company) all these things :))

Fleiger said...

Oh, forgot to mention, Best Luck for The Hunt!

But, if you promise not to go shopping every time there is a cricket match, I am sure other things would be perfectly acceptable to anyone. (OK ladies, now you can stop the clapping)

Anil The Great said...

silverline :

all da best.

decently realistic list.

-ATG

silverine said...

@Sujith: Hey thanks man. Coming from a guy that is compliment indeed!!
@Ursjina: Gal your tag was simply wonderful. But I am a hard bitten ( read seen friends love life) kinda gal here and so made my list from my observations of a few relationships I have seen up close :)
@Fleiger: ROFTL now that you put it that way it is so funny. Imagine telling your project lead that he should not mind stolen kisses and bear hugs ha ha ha :))Fortunately I am not a techie so no project leads for me. I promise not to go shopping at all if I get my PL :))
@ATG: Thanks Anil for tagging me. Now another tag awaits :((

calvin said...

hmmm
But i think that the 50% thing is taking things too far. I dont mean to be a Chauvinist , but i think there things that a woman does better than a man and viceversa. When you get married your perspective will change .. My sister had a wishlist which is almost the same as yours , minus the hugs. Her husband does the 50% things ad more , but sometimes he really cant help . .. eg: when your baby is demanding you and not his dad , you cant keep thinking 50% .

Hope your dreams materialize one day.

Neetika said...

Why did u titled ur post as "I dare to dream".......
I think if u'll not dream how can u make them possible.....
I hope u r tryin to understand what iam saying.....
And may god bless you with the person of ur dreams!!
Keep smiling:))))

Jagan said...

expectations lead to choice ? i didnt get tht .

Anonymous said...

ey... no ya.. paapa im not DP ya, but his friend! we just use mostly same terminology...bah! i really am your juni... chee he's not that cheesy to comment as anonymous ya... thu... ask me anything bout coll ill tell u...

Mind Curry said...

ok second reading always gets deeper...i tried to list a response to your 8 points from a guy perspective. but found out i am not doing any good, coz it was beginning to be my perspective. hihi..so deleted it all, and i just wanna say you have a great definition of who you want. and i hope every girl has such definitions of what she wants in life, not just about guys, and will not settle for anyone and anything.

Lazy strokes said...

It's the same thing almost every woman wants aint it?

I think something you missed is the chemistry... I have seen some really old couples and they still have that thing going, which makes one want to sit and watch them together all the while. Sigh!

death said...

thoughtful

silverine said...

@aashik: The reason why the baby does not go to dad could be because it is used to mom. That's what I meant by 50% sharing of chores including baby :)
@Neetika: Thank you gal. Am so happy with your news!
@mindcurry: I had no preconceived notions maybe that's why the expectations came out that way. I realised that I will be happy in an equal relationship ONLY! :)
@Lazystrokes: I don't think so.One of my friends who read this post was aghast that I would have hobbies and interests outside the home LOL. Another friend felt going out of station/home was a stupid thing to do. My tag displays my desire for freedom within a relationship. I think it is was keeps couples like that old couple ticking. :)

EspritNoir said...

hi there, was checking out your blog in response to the msg you left on my site. thanks for ur comment, and i must say, u do have a flair for writing...both your posts on your perfect lover, as well as a couple of other posts i browsed thru, made absolutely fasinating reading, and gave quite a bit of insight into you. will definitely put u on my "blogs to check frequently" list. incidentally, how did u land up on my blogpost? do visit again. take care...cheers... :)

manan said...

interesting. but are these sufficient qualities? you wouldn't want to, say, have something in common with your PL?

calvin said...

nope. Thats not the reason. When baby wants to be in its Mom's lap it doesnt mean that it doesnt know/Hate Dad. It just wants to be in its Mom's lap. As I said ,you will get the point when you get married and have kids :)

Vanathi said...

Goodluck to find such PL :)

>|' ; '| said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
>|' ; '| said...

That GEO is a genius!!! He figured out the writings between the lines!!! u shud pay him some kinda fee ;))

Nut-khat said...

Thank god there are others too! i guess this is what all women want... :P

Anonymous said...

If ever you happen to find such a PL, puhleessee make sure he is a
"man" before you finalise on things.. :))

Shan

Densel Mayor said...

intewesting profile! and wow, you aren't fickle at alllll :P

silverine said...

@espritnoir:Thank you for your kind words. I came to your blog via another blog I think. You write really well.
@manan: Well, this was a tag and so it didn't give sufficeint room to add all that. Frankly I don't mind if we have nothing in common as long as we gel otherwise as a couple.
@vanathi: Thank you! :)
@Poison: You are absolutely right! That was brilliant analysis indeed.But then he analysed Juthu's post so it should be Jithu who should be giving him the fee. I for one would love to see what Jithu gives him:p
@nut-khat:Cute name :) Male bonding and all that jazz yeah? :))
@Shan: Long time no see.I am taking your advice rather seriously lol
@Densel: See! We girls are such undemanding creatures ;)

പാപ്പാന്‍‌/mahout said...

Commenters have commented. Now quoters shall quote!
"The tragedy of marriage is that while all women marry thinking that their man will change, all men marry believing their wives will never change. Both are invariably disappointed." -- Len Deighton

Supremus said...

To me one reason is enough - as told by Oliver to Jenny (or perhaps reverse): I want someone I can "talk" to.

Rest of them are all finer details :D

Interesting writeup here!!

Suyog

Ganja Turtle said...

Sex of the target :Male

SUCH A RELIEF!

1. My Perfect Lover(PL) will have a sense of humor. Does that mean he joins you upside down on the sofa??

2. My PL will be a person I can sit and talk with for hours. (Communication is very important to me) WOMAN-O-PR...but ofcourse! Would you reveal your blog to him?

3.(And if he doesn’t tell me what I have done to piss him off I cannot rectify it, can I?) AHHH...A SIGN OF TIMES TO COME! Already planning rectification,are we...

4. My PL will not expect me to be a ‘wife’ in the traditional sense. He will want me as a life partner and not housekeeper, cook, and babysitter. ITS LIKE THE IIMS-IF YOU ARE TOUGH ENOUGH AT THE TIME OF STARTING, YOU END UP WITH GOOD QUALITY MAAL...


5. My PL will understand that I have a family and friends I care deeply about. He will be the most important person in my life but my folks will not be any less. AH...THE INDEPENDANT WOMAN EMERGES FROM THE SHADOWS...

6. I am a one man woman and I expect him to be a one woman man too. (Fidelity is the foundation on which relationships are built).
SERIOUS POINT TO PONDER...

7. I have hobbies/interests that will take me away from station/home from time to time. He should be broadminded enough to accept it.(In short I need space to grow. And I am willing to accept that he will also have interests or hobbies that he would like to pursue - IN SHORT CAN BE TRANSLATED AS "IF THE JERK WANTS TO WATCH CRICKET & GET DRUNK WITH HIS COLLEGE PALS AND LAND UP AT 2AM, HE WILL BE LET INTO THE HOUSE...AND POSSIBLY EVEN FORGIVEN 2-3 MONTHS LATER"...

8. I am a very demonstrative person in showing my love and affection so my Perfect Lover will be demonstrative too. He will not be reticent and will not mind the unexpected bear hugs and stolen kisses that will come his way very often....GIMME A BREAK - HONESTLY, EVER THINK A GUY WHO WOULD HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS...lol