Friday, February 10, 2006

Some Facts and Figures

Disclaimer: This is another rant about Income Tax. So anyone who is fed of this topic may please get back to your auditor and PAY THOSE TAXES!!!!


You know you are an Income Tax asessee when:

1. You save the whole year to tide over the year-end salary cut.

2. You are on first name basis with Medical Shop owners.

3. Medical Shop Owners stop stocking medicines and start making profits by selling you Medical Bills.

4. You read up on "Acne/coarse hair/oily face/appraisal frustrations/homicidal tendencies towards Manager" etc. and research the medicines available in the market for it and then give the list to the pharmacist to include in your medical bill.

5. Medical Shop Owners hate you.

6. You ask the accountant if the accessory you bought for your bike can come under ‘Educational Expense’.

7. You ask the accountant advice on Tax loopholes.

8. The accountant hates you.

9. You make sure you make Rs.XYZ worth of calls ONLY because you are allowed only so much in reimbursement.

10. You go to bookstores browse for books related to your profession and leave without purchasing anything after you have written down names and price of books.

11. Book shop owners hate you.

12. You know railway and airfares by heart. You start giving advice for a small fee to people on the most complicated and tortuous route to take according to their LTA.

13. Railway reservation clerks grin when they see you and enquire when you will be back for the cancellation when you go to buy a ticket.

14. Indian Railways love you. Your cancellations fees help make their loss figures a little less damning. (Please note Mr. Chidambaram)

15. Your landlord stops working and starts living off the 50% share he gets from the hiked rental bill he gives you every month.

16. Landlords look on you as a Retirement Scheme. (Please note this too Mr. Chidambaram)

17. Your wallet has more Bills than Bills (notes).

18. You tell your Investment Consultant that you want to invest exactly Rs.XYZ as that is the magic figure you need to avoid the Tax axe.

19. You check if you have paid interest on that Dinner Set/Gas Stove/Iron etc you bought by paying in EMI.

20. You think of becoming an Entrepreneur so that your salary doesn’t get deducted at source.

21. You think of becoming an Entrepreneur so that you can show that flight to Dubai as “Business related travel expense”

22. You think of becoming an Entrepreneur so that you can show that six figure telephone bills as “Business related calls”.

23. You think of becoming an Entrepreneur so that you can show all your food bills as “Business Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner etc.”

24. You realize Entrepreneurship is too much of a hassle and you rather sit in your comfy office and be sure of a salary at the end of the month. But you still hate Taxes.

25. You have a hunted look at the close of the financial year.

26. You blog and make fun of the IT Department with posts like this and this.

47 comments:

Leon said...

It is not very often that I get the chance to be first on this blog. So I just had to comment.. :-)

lol at all those posts on Income taxes.. Have a great day.. :-)

silverine said...

@Leon: And I am acknowledging that gesture with a big THANK YOU :)Nice to see you back.

Thanu said...

Another pos ton IT...I Guess IT is taking a huge chunk of ur Salary...

Praveen said...

Hmmm... its amazing how many points you can come up with on taxes!

One famous guy remarked "The most difficult thing to learn in life are your countries tax laws" :)

Ammo said...

Thats it...If doing all these things makes me an INCOME TAX ASESSEE...
.
.
.
.
.
Then so be it :D
I, proud to be a tax payer.
Great post.

Kusum Rohra said...

Only two things are certain in life death and taxes... :) Oouch!
ce

hope and love said...

there is no escape baby..its a fact of life in this country..
:))
i have accepted it long back.. i tell the personal branch to start cutting from the month of april itself...

Jithu said...

but isnt an entrepreneur using his own money and profits for all these. the less he spends on such things, the better for him and his company :-)

Browser said...

Point 27. You read blogs on taxes and nod your head for each point.

Anjaan said...

They say you should pay your taxes with a smile....
I Tried, The Taxman wanted Cash!!

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

whoa ....

inshort , to be a non income-taxee, get hated by people ....

by the wya ., left a personal comment for u on my blog ... lemme know when u read , i shall del it ... okiezzzzz ???

silverine said...

@deepa: Read your comment :)

Geo said...

Watzdiz?
You pay a huge tax when you earn huger. :_D

Quit, start ‘bird watching’ (the term is so much misused we need ‘s to mark the actual usage) or take up ‘cooking lessons’ as your profession. Or may be blogging for that matter.

Lalit Singh said...

Hilarious!!!
BTW
I just cdnt believe Sholay was your first hindi movie.. but u choose the best for your first...

silverine said...

@Thanu:Very huge chunk :(
@Praveen: So true !!!
@Ammo: I am also a proud tax payer ;)
@Kusum: Very true girl :(
@HnL:It's a given in all countries and there is no way anyone can avoid it. But you can deal with it with posts like these he he :))
@Jithu: A businessman can show a lot as expense and decrease his taxable ncome :)
@Browser: Point No.28-and nod to what others have to say about it too :)
@anjaan: That was a good one lol
@Deepa: Hated by the cottage industry catering to the IT assesees :)You can delete it now.
@Geo:And you should take up 'career counselling' =))
p.s. when I offer to teach someone's PL for free ,he declines and then he tells me to take up cookery classes :(
@lalith: Thank you.It wasnt my first but I saw it very late!

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

i have replied in detail on my blog ...

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

okkk ....
i thought so coz he mentioned Ms Communication ...

and he said i knew who it was ...

wanted to ask u sometime back , but forgot ...

Mind Curry said...

you know i am torn between feeling patriotic, wanting to pay taxes regularly and not wanting to pay taxes coz i feel it will in no way reflect in our day to day life (except maybe peace of mind i guess, especially after reading your last post!:)) anyway the best thing is that so far i havent earned substantial income to pay any tax :) really..i swear..promise..

JamesBright said...

Hi Silverine,
I hope that you will start employing a chattered accountant to deal with your tax issues in the near future!!!

TheGayVirile said...

i have been reading ur blogs these days..i dint exactly get this one but the sholay one was really a good creative work.i've seen small comedy clips in Mtv about sholay...y dont u show this to them.me thinks this is much better than all those aired ones...
u have loads of talent..keep up the gud work

Supremus said...

LOL!!!

I agree with mindcurry - I dont make enough income to pay taxes yet - even though its mr. Sam who knows how to get it out of me :(

Great post LOL - business related expenses - ahh, I luv that term so much :) << I am putting it to max use here myself ! :D >>

Suyog

Alexis Leon said...

Nice post... You must be really mad at the IT dept. Already 3 posts on IT... :-)

Fleiger said...

Some more points:

1. Your financial year starts with frantic scambling to meet the magic figure of 1,00,000 on your ivestment proposal, and your calender year ends with frantic scrambling to somehow get close to that figure.
2. You know more ways to sum up to 1,00,000 than your accontant.
3. netalog consult you re:promises during election time.
4. You realise that if you had made similar promises to your sapno ki raani you would have been married by now.

And, for one imp scene of Sholay, see this.

>|' ; '| said...

i am content to be unemployed i guess :)

Binoy, The One and Only said...

Not again, not again! Damn these IT guys... Income Tax guys I mean, I com in the other IT people...
Well we all have our ways to vent our anger...

Anonymous said...

Oh comon, to be frank a boring post indeed. I didnt even feel like completing it, stopped it midway.

And by the way, taxes are something you should be paying to help the development and upliftment of our country. ( I still got the hangover from Rand De Basanti.. hehe )

Cheers!
Shan

silverine said...

@mindcurry: I believe you, but will the IT guys too? :))
@dreamslittle: I have a CA but then he wasn't able to rescue me from taxes :p So I much rather blog about it and vent my frustrations lol
@intruder: Thank you somuch :)
@Supremus and Alexis: lol what cracks me up is when people read my posts and offer advice!! Thank God guys like you realise that I vent my frustrations by looking at the lighter side of life!!!
@Fleiger: I just love your comments :)) Thanks for empathising fellow sufferer. What I told Supremus and Alexis holds good for you too.
@Poison: You lucky guy!! :(
@Binoy: Well we all have our ways to vent our anger EXACTLY!!!
@Shan: Even I think it is not funny that grown up men and women have to go through this exercise to save their hard earned money from going down the drain,literally.

silverine said...

@Fleiger: ROFL on point 3 and 4 =))

Priyatam said...

njoyed ur post!!

illusion said...

very witty!

Dr. Pissed said...

income tax?

jedi said...

Tax time is here.. and just got a cold draft on the face. Awesome post.. The tax asessees will hate u!

said...

And add some salt to the injury. Because I changed job in between, a miscommunication between finances says they deducted less tax all my life, and now I have to break my fixed deposit to pay the difference.

DENIMINOO said...

Hai silverine i am a regular reader of your blogs nowadays ... and now I am serching through your archive to read more stuff....Really Interesting :-)

VirginUpdates said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
silverine said...

@priyatam and illusion: Thanks guys!
@Jedi:I think the tax guys will hate me :p
@dr pissed:You dont know what IT is? Lucky guy!!!!!
@Kousik:I too had a somewhat similar experience. Makes me so mad to even think about it!!!
@deniminoo: Thanks, happy reading :)

Prasanth said...

Hi,

Nice Post. Used to feel the same during the year end everytime till i wised up and thought - enough and learned all that is there on taxes and am now much more comfortable filing returns.

jay menon said...

ahaaaa Now i know why my medical shop guy gives a disgusting face when he sees me....ya offcourse smiling at him for just one reason ;), btw nice to knw tht u liked my new post, i guess we r competing each other to make ppl laugh...well written sweetheart

Anil The Great said...

silverline :

Yeh Kya IT week chal raha hai kya :)

-ATG

Roy said...

Hi...

This is our real problem in India, in regional area no body give any importnace untill you come to the mainsytream Hindi. But there are so many talents in every parts of India...
sometimes I thought, Language isn't a bridge anymore it's becoming a wall!!

Nice to hear from u..
Roy

silverine said...

@Prashanth: We all wise up eventually :)
@Jay Menon: That joke was tooo good. :))
@ATG: Yeh Tax month chal raha hai!! :)
@Roy: As far as I am concerned, SC and RDB were the best. I am great fan of both!!!

Abdulla syed said...

Saw you there on deepas blog,
you are the funniest blogger i seen, and tax seems to be your speciality.

vaik said...

Another IT. Another good one :)

silverine said...

@Abdulla: Welcome to my blog. Thank you for your appreciation!
@Vaik: Thanks buddy!

injinuity said...

well I guess this is one of the few privileges that we NRI's enjoy.. tax?.. what tax?

Tapan said...

Brilliant post. Heck, some of the points are SO true...they hurt! The chemist, the LTA schemes, the phone calls, the rent receipts - rocking!!