While I was sleeping

Warning: Long post

“You know what Anjali…” said a pro blogger amongst my colleagues. “ I am turning 25 this year and that scares me.”

“Why should a birthday scare you?” I asked tactlessly.

“Arey, I am 25, with no life and no clue where my life is headed!” he exclaimed mournfully.

“So why are you telling me this? What can I do yaar.” I replied trying to read the magazine that I was trying to read since he plonked himself next to me.

“You are a happy go lucky girl yaar. No care in the world. I talk to you in the hope that some of that happiness rubs off on me too.” He said with a woebegone face.

“Look, I do not posses any magic mantra to be happy.I just don’t sit and moan like you all at everything and anything. You either pick up happiness or sadness. The choice is yours.” I looked at him briefly. “Anyway what is bothering you? You have a good job, nice folks, and a home of your own….”

“There are parts of my life that are exciting. Very exciting.” He said smiling goofily.

“And what are they, pray tell me. When you go out to have a cigarette?” I asked sarcastically.

“ No!” he said shaking his head vigorously. “Having a cigarette is great but there are other things too.”

I looked at him in disbelief!

“Today I was reading about Domain Authority & Page Authority Metrics at this Search Engine Optimization (SEO) blog.” He said animatedly. “And the site had a very exciting feature….” He finished breathlessly.

“And what was that err feature?” I asked uninterested.

“A NEW LINK CHECKER AND BACKLINK ANALYSIS TOOL!!!!!!!!!” he shouted scaring me out of my wits.

“Err that sounds umm nice.” I said, looking desperately around for an excuse to escape.

“And tomorrow..” he continued animatedly “we are having a small blogger meet up to discuss metrics that gives us insight and intelligence on blog , domains, and link profiles, as well as why these metrics can be a better predictor of ranking success than others that may have been used in the past!!” he finished panting breathlessly.

He looked at me his eyes shining ,“You wanna join us?”

“Nooooooooo!!! I mean I think I have something planned for tomorrow evening.” I said desperately.

“Anyway Arnab (not his real name)” I said evasively, trying to change the boring topic. “What do you after you go home from office?”

“I like to read” he said.

“What do you like to read?” I asked kindly.

“Well…” he said his eyes far away. “Right now I am reading ‘Do E-books Create Personal Brands’.”

I nearly fell off the chair in shock.

“What!!! I mean how interesting” I said recovering quickly and trying not to show my disgust. “Why don’t you read something light like ‘Dear John’ by Nicholas Sparks. I can lend it to you if you want.

“Arey Anjali, do you want to kill my brain cells? Who reads such trash!!” he said scornfully.

“I do” said I trying not to slap him.

“Haha yaar. Mazaak mat kar. You seriously read such books? You need a life, fast.” he said chuckling and shaking his head.

“I thought we were discussing “your” lack of life vis a vis mine.” I said barely able to control my temper.

“You are right yaar. Thanks for reminding me. Anyway don’t tell me to read such book please.” he pleaded.

“Very well Arnab. Let’s look at “other” ways to make your life interesting.” I said resignedly. “You have a girlfriend?” I asked.

“I had.” he said briefly.

“What happened?” I ask trying not to appear too nosey.

“Hamare vichaar alag the. She and I were poles apart.” He said moodily.

“Could you please elaborate?” I asked knowing full well what was to come.

“Well…we never agreed on anything. I mean she wanted to go to the movies, I preferred to watch a podcast. Then, she liked to go for long walks while I preferred to use that time for recording a Podcast. They have such interesting topics! Have you seen Livestream? Amazing site for Live Streaming.” He finished looking really excited.

“Jesus Christ!’ I swore. “You need a complete alteration of your life man. Or we will have a holiday the day after you swing from the fan!!”

“Arey, suicide tho cowards karthe hain. I have too much to live for.” He said dreamily.

“Like?” I asked, regretting that question for the rest of my life.

I dunno what happened after that. But I went into a deep slumber and dreamt of being chased by……auto generated text, Google analytics, linkscape index SEO best practices, HTTP status codes, affiliate sites and some other horrible stuff.

Someone shook me awake. It was Foxy. Arnab was nowhere to be seen.

“What are you sleeping here for?” he asked “And what was that Arnab talking to you while you slept?”

“How long have I been sleeping!” I asked drowsily. “Over half an hour” said Foxy.

“Where is Arnab?” I asked not particularly interested in knowing his whereabouts.

“He said something about getting some printouts for you and left” said Foxy. “Apparently you said that you would be interested in attending this SEO conference in Delhi.

“What!!!” I sat up bolt upright. “I said what??” I repeated stupidly.

“Ha ha Anjali. If I were you I would start packing. And don’t forget to take “Dummies guide to Pro Blogging.” chuckled Foxy.

“Why” I asked stupidly.

“Because you agreed to give a talk about your experience of going pro!” said Foxy laughing hysterically.

I am on indefinite leave from today.