Monday, March 01, 2010

While I was sleeping

Warning: Long post

“You know what Anjali…” said a pro blogger amongst my colleagues. “ I am turning 25 this year and that scares me.”

“Why should a birthday scare you?” I asked tactlessly.

Arey, I am 25, with no life and no clue where my life is headed!” he exclaimed mournfully.

“So why are you telling me this? What can I do yaar.” I replied trying to read the magazine that I was trying to read since he plonked himself next to me.

“You are a happy go lucky girl yaar. No care in the world. I talk to you in the hope that some of that happiness rubs off on me too.” He said with a woebegone face.

“Look, I do not posses any magic mantra to be happy.I just don’t sit and moan like you all at everything and anything. You either pick up happiness or sadness. The choice is yours.” I looked at him briefly. “Anyway what is bothering you? You have a good job, nice folks, and a home of your own….”

“There are parts of my life that are exciting. Very exciting.” He said smiling goofily.

“And what are they, pray tell me. When you go out to have a cigarette?” I asked sarcastically.

“ No!” he said shaking his head vigorously. “Having a cigarette is great but there are other things too.”

I looked at him in disbelief!

“Today I was reading about Domain Authority & Page Authority Metrics at this Search Engine Optimization (SEO) blog.” He said animatedly. “And the site had a very exciting feature….” He finished breathlessly.

“And what was that err feature?” I asked uninterested.

“A NEW LINK CHECKER AND BACKLINK ANALYSIS TOOL!!!!!!!!!” he shouted scaring me out of my wits.

“Err that sounds umm nice.” I said, looking desperately around for an excuse to escape.

“And tomorrow..” he continued animatedly “we are having a small blogger meet up to discuss metrics that gives us insight and intelligence on blog , domains, and link profiles, as well as why these metrics can be a better predictor of ranking success than others that may have been used in the past!!” he finished panting breathlessly.

He looked at me his eyes shining ,“You wanna join us?”

“Nooooooooo!!! I mean I think I have something planned for tomorrow evening.” I said desperately.

“Anyway Arnab (not his real name)” I said evasively, trying to change the boring topic. “What do you after you go home from office?”

“I like to read” he said.

“What do you like to read?” I asked kindly.

“Well…” he said his eyes far away. “Right now I am reading ‘Do E-books Create Personal Brands’.”

I nearly fell off the chair in shock.

“What!!! I mean how interesting” I said recovering quickly and trying not to show my disgust. “Why don’t you read something light like ‘Dear John’ by Nicholas Sparks. I can lend it to you if you want.

“Arey Anjali, do you want to kill my brain cells? Who reads such trash!!” he said scornfully.

“I do” said I trying not to slap him.

“Haha yaar. Mazaak mat kar. You seriously read such books? You need a life, fast.” he said chuckling and shaking his head.

“I thought we were discussing “your” lack of life vis a vis mine.” I said barely able to control my temper.

“You are right yaar. Thanks for reminding me. Anyway don’t tell me to read such book please.” he pleaded.

“Very well Arnab. Let’s look at “other” ways to make your life interesting.” I said resignedly. “You have a girlfriend?” I asked.

“I had.” he said briefly.

“What happened?” I ask trying not to appear too nosey.

Hamare vichaar alag the. She and I were poles apart.” He said moodily.

“Could you please elaborate?” I asked knowing full well what was to come.

“Well…we never agreed on anything. I mean she wanted to go to the movies, I preferred to watch a podcast. Then, she liked to go for long walks while I preferred to use that time for recording a Podcast. They have such interesting topics! Have you seen Livestream? Amazing site for Live Streaming.” He finished looking really excited.

“Jesus Christ!’ I swore. “You need a complete alteration of your life man. Or we will have a holiday the day after you swing from the fan!!”

Arey, suicide tho cowards karthe hain. I have too much to live for.” He said dreamily.

“Like?” I asked, regretting that question for the rest of my life.

I dunno what happened after that. But I went into a deep slumber and dreamt of being chased by……auto generated text, Google analytics, linkscape index SEO best practices, HTTP status codes, affiliate sites and some other horrible stuff.

Someone shook me awake. It was Foxy. Arnab was nowhere to be seen.

“What are you sleeping here for?” he asked “And what was that Arnab talking to you while you slept?”

“How long have I been sleeping!” I asked drowsily. “Over half an hour” said Foxy.

“Where is Arnab?” I asked not particularly interested in knowing his whereabouts.

“He said something about getting some printouts for you and left” said Foxy. “Apparently you said that you would be interested in attending this SEO conference in Delhi.

“What!!!” I sat up bolt upright. “I said what??” I repeated stupidly.

“Ha ha Anjali. If I were you I would start packing. And don’t forget to take “Dummies guide to Pro Blogging.” chuckled Foxy.

“Why” I asked stupidly.

“Because you agreed to give a talk about your experience of going pro!” said Foxy laughing hysterically.

I am on indefinite leave from today.

34 comments:

$$ said...

Hahaha...!!!

So, can we expect a blog post after your Delhi trip?! ;)

Partha Pratim said...

Ha ha ha! This reminds me of one of my friends. She often sends me SMSes reminding me that she poked me on FB.And she would always ask me to poke back.

Arjun said...

Glad to know you are on indefinite leave to prepare for your talk on going pro ;) Good read.

Nithya Sriram said...

You got a wonderful blog...

Shrutzz said...

good one!!!! LOL

thomas said...

As Scott Adams says in one of his strips, 'they shouldn't be allowed to breed'.
P.S. This is your idea of a long post?

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

:) Fun read. But what's with knowing so much of that jargon? *shudders* I have half a hunch you are the sole (and anonymous) commenter on his pro blog :|

Also, good lord! You are giving long post warnings for a post that is much shorter than what used to be your average post length a year or so ago. Ominous signs.

sweelie said...

LOL... where did the conversation start and where did it end!!! happy vacation dear...

Jim said...

This would have been funnier if it wasn't so close to the truth.

Jeseem said...

ohh .. where is the SEO conference. I am interested in ur talk.. I will bring my pillow along :P

Aditya said...

haha lol . Hilarious to the core! Wish you had not dozed off :P

Future Wife Beater said...

Blessed Are The Geek, For They Shall Inherit The Earth.

anishthomas said...

lol haha, have a nice trip :)

sulfia s santhosh said...

ur posts are such fun to read any time, any place...nd great to find someone who dus not consider nicholas sparks is trash:)

The Holy Lama said...

Will we need a SEO to find you? AA laut ke aaja mere meet. Tum meet par mat jao re.

The Blue Indian said...

“You are a happy go lucky girl yaar. No care in the world. I talk to you in the hope that some of that happiness rubs off on me too.”

That's a lot of self-praise! Should have allowed your readers to say that yaar! :P

Eagerly awaiting podcast of your pro speech from Delhi.

blunt edges said...

lol...do tell us how the conference went! ;)

mathew said...

hilarious!!!

Abhilash said...

Sigh , there are too many people like this in the engineering field lol and trying to find normal / "chill" person is like finding a needle in a haystack.

Santhosh P said...

Good post. Though garnished with humour, it brings up a very serious underlying issue - Gen2.0 technies being worried where their life is heading as things are changing at a very faster pace and is in various directions and dimensions that no professional prognosticator can foresee. Its natural that they may try finding pleasure in Link Checkers and Backlink Analysis tools, and (wrongly) assume that watching Karthik C(K?)alling Karthik is far inferior a brain exercise than attending an SEO conf. This is where we ‘grown-ups’(those with a better brain, but never use it on any useless stuff like SEO/KCK) should interfere, give them the right guidance. You did exactly the same, by choosing to have a siesta than talking to befuddled, boring little geeks of a dried drainage duct.

damsel in distress said...

sorry-"long"post? :-P

Sajith said...

Hahaha! hilarious! I have been reading your blog for last couple of minutes! saved me from sleeping in office =)))
btw, have a nice trip to d SEO conference :D :P

Destiny's child... said...

Haha! Have a nice time there...:D
All of us here are mean...I mean, look at us, we are all laughing at your plight! ;)

Jackson said...

“Arey, I am 25, with no life and no clue where my life is headed!”

my usual response to this is to recommend a large number of sleeping pills.. its okay to be unsure of your direction in life; lots of people are.. just don't be a drama queen about it..

and, if you *must* insist on letting others know your sufferings without their having asked, at least put them in joke form (to paraphrase christopher titus)..

silverine said...

$$: Nahiiin! No Delhi trip! :p

Partha: She is a match made in heaven for Arnab! :))

Arjun: Thank you! :)

Nithya: Thank you and thanks for dropping by! :)

Shrutzz: Thanks girl! :)

thomas: lol! Yeah I have heard of that. And this did look very long when I posted it!

Karthik: We have a whole table at cafeteria sitting and discussing such stuff every day. So I picked up a lot of jargon! :)

Sweelie: hehe Even I don't know! :p

Jim: Guess you know the type well! :)

Jeseem: LOL!! How mean!! Pffft! :P

Aditya: This has to be the most boring topic I have ever heard! :)

Future Wife Beater: :)

Anish: Arnab has gone...alone! :p

Sulfia: Thanks girl and glad to see another Sparks fan! :)

The Holy Lama: LOL!! Not SEO, but Google!

The Blue Indian: That is not self praise. I seem to be swimming in a sea of angst. Dunno why people get depressed over nothing! :)

blunt edges: hehe I never went! :P

Mathew: Thank you! :)

Abhilash: You are spot on in your observation!

Santhosh: You have addressed the issue here quite well. Some people seem to live one dimensional lives. Plenty in my office who think geek talk even during Holi celebrations is cool!

damsel: I am glad you all think it is not long! :)

Sajith: Welcome to my blog buddy! And thank you :)

DP: Everyone in office was laughing too. Most people give these guys the wide berth! :p

Jackson: You should be a therapist. What stellar advice! lol! I have never understood people who have everything but keep moaning about their life.

RGB said...

Jeez! Reminds me of a similar incident when I went to a client meeting. They were 5 and we were 3. They kept throwing these typical IT/Biz Jargons and Abbrev at us, that by the end of the discussion I was like "Beam me up scotty!"

Bullshee said...

Yipee! I'm not the biggest 25 year old geek with no life around!

Yipee!!

I know, I know...I should be shot twice for using the word "Yipee" twice...

ഹാഫ് കള്ളന്‍||Halfkallan said...

Ha ha ha ha ... !!!!!!!!!

Usha said...

I don't believe this!!! I just wrote a new blogpost with the Saaaaame title the other day!!

I saw John Abraham in my dream, and trust me, he was bigger pain than Arnab! :/

Dreamer said...

Lol.. See you in Delhi then!

anant said...

wish we couls exchange place.i would love to go with him.

silverine said...

RGB: Yikes, those are the worst types.

Bullshee: :D Looks like this is a contagion!

halfkallan: Thanks buddy! :)

Usha: hehe this I got to read!

Dreamer: I successful avoided that Delhi trip! p

Anant: Wow! I guess these conferences are useful to some people.

Aniket said...

When is the conference? Can we attend? Ask Arnab to do a podcast of your lecture.

Wanton Wanderer said...

I hate these mid 20s people worrying about being 25(!!).. what about the ones being sucked towards the big 30.