Karva Chauth 2.0

Karva chauth: An auspicious day observed by married women in Hindi films err North India, by fasting for the good health and long life of their husbands, the only bread winner of the family in the good old days.

Now with women doubling up as jam/caviar winners to supplement the bread brought by the breadwinner, the ritual is going to change according to a religious head, who wishes to remain anonymous. This is to ensure the longevity of Indian marriages which may be threatened by the missus preferring Crackers over bread for her Caviar! Henceforth Husbands will observe this ritual for the good health and long life of their marriages.

On Karva chauth day, Husbands will get up at 4:30 am, take bath, ensuring he doesn’t use the wife's shampoo and soap, clean the toilet, put the towels outside for drying and make breakfast after doing Pooja (it means ‘prayer’ silly). He will of course ensure that the house is swept and swabbed before the pooja. Before that he will ensure that he has removed the frozen stuff from the freezer and left it out for thawing. Of course, the frozen stuff will be cleaned and packed neatly in Ziplock bags, so that the family eats clean and nutritious food always.

Much before the thawing...like a month before, hubby would have paid the electricity bill, water bill, corporation tax, stood in the ration queue and bought the kerosene, rice, sugar etc. He would have of course woken up the kids, got them ready for school, made breakfast, packed their tiffin and made the wife her morning tea before doing what I have mentioned in the beginning of this paragraph.

And before doing all that I have mentioned in the above paragraph, he would have ensured that the wife has three hot home cooked meals a day and something special on weekends so that she is not bored with the fare. He would have entertained his in laws, cooked their favorite dishes, took them to the doctor, ran around for his wives brothers wedding and ensured that the home was also running simultaneously.

Much much before all that I have mentioned in the above two paragraphs, like before the wedding hubby would have taken cookery classes, home decoration classes, flower decoration classes, candle making classes, grooming classes in order to be attractive and useful to the future wifey. His mom would have taught him to be docile and meek and drilled it into his head that his better half was a goddess herself. He would have kept himself "pure" (barf) for his future wife and would have ensured a good reputation for himself in the society as a good boy! Of course his Dad would have scrimped and saved a sizable dowry so that he could marry of his son into a good family.

Further his Dad would have taught him to be a good husband, like he was and the generations before him. He would have taught him the intricacies of the religious rituals and festivals so that he could carry on the family traditions and ensure their continuity.

And much much before what I have mentioned in the above paragraphs…err where is everyone gone?

umm, guys?

Hello?

Anyone here?!?

*hummphh*