On the First day of Christmas - I got up and yawned and went back to sleep.
On the Second day of Christmas - I managed to haul myself out of bed at 11 am.
On the Third day of Christmas - I was on the road to Kerala.
On the Fourth day of Christmas - I was snoring in Pala.
On the Fifth day of Christmas - I was hauled out from bed and made to say Confession in Church. Unfortunately I had forgotten all my sins and got a severe penance. I will be saying penance for the rest of my life.
On the Sixth day of Christmas - *SNORE*
On the Seventh day of Christmas - My mom threatens to cut my nails if I don’t get up. I was up in a trice, at an approximate acceleration rate of 0 to 100 km/h in 4.2 seconds
On the Eighth day of Christmas - I was decorating a rather robust local tree of unknown lineage, in the tenuous hope that it will pass off as a Christmas tree. It didn’t. It looked like a rather robust tree of unknown lineage trying to pass itself off as a Christmas tree.
On the Ninth day of Christmas - Still no luck with my naadan Christmas tree. It looked the same, though a trifle defiant and with a lot less leaves and err…decidedly ugly.
On the Tenth day of Christmas - Got conned by my bro and cousin bros to watch a new super hit Malayalam movie at home. Two minutes into the movie and I was out of the room in a tearing hurry. It was a severely strainful and overly senti religious movie in which a decidedly Caucasian Joseph was taking his bleached blond pregnant wife Mary on a Poitou Donkey from Inn to Inn inquiring for rooms in chaste Malayalam. The guys thought it was damn funny and laughed like a pack of effeminate male hyenas. But the Donkey carrying the bleached blond Mary was damn cute.
On the Eleventh day of Christmas - I was tasting the various Christmas preparations my aunts made. I told a lot of lies that day. Damn. I should have kept Confession for this day!! The Star of the Day was " Rosamma aunty, your halwa is out of this world." It was. I don't think such horrible halwa exists anywhere on this Earth.
On the Twelfth day of Christmas i.e Christmas Day - Luxuria (extravagance), Gula (gluttony), Avaritia (greed), Acedia (sloth), Ira (wrath), Invidia (envy), and Superbia (pride)
"Twelve days of Christmas" is a Christmas carol.