Warning: Long post ahead!
It is Sunday and I am watching TV… because I have hurt my toe you see, (poor dear muah muah). And I am thus immobilized or I would have spent a productive day sitting in front of the comp.
My mom knows when I am cornered. And like the adversary that has got his prey in a corner, she is moving in to make the kill…with half a kilo of Beans, half a kilo of Sambhar onions, some coriander leaves and a pod of garlic. She plans to cut all this vegetation sitting next to me while she fills me in on all the naatuu visheshams ( family gossip) that she knows I will ‘have’ to hear now. I oblige by putting on my head phones. Now I can’t hear the TV damn!
But watching TV without audio and the sexy sexy and really sexy Enrique crooning into my ears “Tired of being Sorry” is an extreme extreme test of a gals will power. You want to give all your attention to Enrique! But then the gal in the TV advertisement has just applied some cream and ‘viola’ she has men all over her. Pedicured, Manicured, hair gelled, Savile Row suited pure premium lean beef. All muscle no fat. A feast meant for the Kings for an epicurean cannibal and a feast for the eye for women in general. Enrique dear, forgive me for committing adultery. *sob*
Hypnotized by the sheer richness of the ad, the music and the men, I find myself making a hazy mental note to buy that Cream that looks like it is made up of Strawberry, Fresh Cream and that’s all. But then another voice, the voice of reason that is rarely heard in my head, raises its voice. “Silverine! Concentrate girl! That is just an ad! Don’t waste your money. Buy a non stick pan instead”. No wonder the voice of reason is never heard inside my head!!! With advice like this no self respecting girl will listen you Charlie. Now get your act together and tell me to buy Lingerie or Perfume or another Puppy. But Non stick pan!!! *horrors*
The voice of reason tries again. “Silverine! Concentrate girl! That is just an ad! Don’t waste your money. Buy a *ugh* Perfume instead, though personally I think…”
“Personally I think you should stop at the Perfume!!!”
The voice of reason persists. Methinks God programmed it to play automatically every half an hour in my head. It got to me finally folks and I began thinking. Advertisements have begun to slowly but insidiously erode the “healthy disbelief thingy” we all have in us. We are no longer the alert audience we were once were, who smartly grabbed the remote and switched Channels when the ads came on or who rolled in laughter when we saw the guy brushing his teeth with Pepsodent, or was it Colgate, Anchor or err was it Meswak ??? Anyway who cares! As I was saying, we are no longer the people who rolled in laughter when we saw the guy brushing his teeth with certain toothpaste and breathing out minty fresh breath that rivaled the Westerlies in velocity. Nor do roll our eyes in disbelief when a guy buys a certain Mobile phone in an ad and becomes instantly sexy and attracts women by the dozen, all scantily but tastefully clad and fully made up at some classy Salon.
We are so tired after working at these phoren MNC’s that we sit down in front of the TV like bakra’s at the slaughter house parlor. We don’t have the energy to lift the remote and change Channel or switch ‘Off’ the TV having consumed all our energies putting it “On” in the first place. The TV commercial guys know when they have us cornered and use their superior position to full advantage.
We now look tiredly and resignedly as ads after ads walk past our TV screen screaming “We gotcha suckers. Now see the crap we are dishing out and BELIEVE!!” And soon we are running after that Face Cream, Mascara, Toothpaste, and Shampoo that promises to make us instantly handsome/beautiful, desirable, attractive, sexy, and irresistible to the opposite sex.
I am no exception folks. Right now I am trying to dispose off one Tractor, two bottles of Varnish, a Power Saw, a Horse, a wheel barrow, some Salt and Pepper shakers, a Sprinkler Irrigation System, a Lawn mover and some Dentures that I bought in a fit of hypnotic advertisement induced trance. All of them promised to make me irresistibly attractive to men after I started using their products. The gal using the Lawn Mover in the ad has admiring glances of men from adjoining houses, buildings, footpath and atop trees. So far no luck for me though. Well I cant blame the advertisers actually when I have old Mr Rao, very old Mr Thomas and wheelchair bound Mr Panicker as my neighbors. *sigh* Let alone see, they don’t even have teeth to playfully give a nip or two to irresistible me, just like they show in the Sprinkler System ad.
My brother says I should start my own Ebay. Sbay sounds good don’t you think? It’s settled then. Now all that I need to do is HIRE AN AD AGENCY! You people keep your eyes glued to the TV. Ciao folks. Have a great week!!