I was thinking today...well more of giving the 'ol grey cells an airing you know in case they stop working due to disuse. And I realized that I need to give them more of an airing than the annual airing they get till now. Right now my thought processes need a really good wheelchair. Anyways I was thinking, that if I were to leave the Earth suddenly, like in an accident I would have no legacy to leave behind for the world, except some empty Pulpy Orange bottles, a few empty shampoo bottles, a computer and some dogs!
God: And young lady, what legacies have you left behind on Earth besides that squishy thing on the road?
Me: Well…ummm…err…wel l l l …lemme think...
God: sigh...my life just sucks some days!
I realized with a sinking feeling that I am zilch in the legacy department. And then when I was thinking, a thought struck me. I did have a legacy…err well it’s a shared legacy between my second elder bro and me actually. It is the Legacy of the Most Corny Excuses of 2007!! These excuses come in handy when we are doing really important chores like blog hopping/gaming/chatting etc that do not give us time to look into minor chores that is entrusted to us by our Mom, when the maid is not around. Not a very impressive legacy I must admit, but what the heck, however minor and insignificant I do have a legacy to give to the world. You are at liberty to use them, but then we are not responsible for the consequences. I am barely alive to tell this tale and that’s cos my mom is bad in trouble shooting...trouble as in me and my bro and shooting as in shooting with a gun.
So here is my humble contribution to the world. A nice set of excuses that you can use when you run out of excuses.
When the rice gets overcooked: It is not overcooked. It’s become soft.
When milk boils over: It boiled too fast. There is something wrong with it.
When milk boils over and the rest gets burnt: There is something definitely wrong with this milk.
When milk boils over and the rest gets burnt and there is zero visibility in the house due to the thick fumes: I am right here ma ..next to you!
When the Electricity Meter reader walks off after ringing the bell for over half an hour: You didn’t give him enough bakshish for Christmas!
When the Garbage van doesn’t pick up the garbage because we forgot to keep it at the gate: I think he hates his job.
When something we had to watch over gets burnt: I didn’t get the smell of burning or I would have turned the gas off!!!
When she has to wait for me to open the door: Why don’t you knock on my bedroom window like Dad? hmmph!
When she explains that wearing ear phones and blasting music is not exactly conducive to the passage of sound into the ears: Why don’t you throw a pebble at me like Dad??? hmmph!
New rule in the house: Only one us can use ear phones/head phones at a time so that one pair of ear is available for audio purposes like for example if there is a cylinder blast, we will not get up zombie like and put on the fan in full speed due to sudden rise in heat in the house. We have compromised. When bro wears head phones, I play music full blast on the speakers and vice versa.
When the gas cylinder guy walks off after banging the gate amidst all the dogs barking and neighbors howling: I think he was looking for an excuse to sell the cylinder in black!
When the postman walks off with the registered letter because no one answered the door for a very long time: I think he hates us because we use E-mail.
When you forget to feed the dog: I thought I will give him a break from food today.
Coming late when you have been expressly told to come home because a certain highly avoidable aundy or ungle was visiting. - This is creepy. Every time they visit, we have such huge traffic jams! brrr
When you get back with worm infested veggies from the vegetable shop: These caterpillars are damn good in camouflage I say!!!
And now to survive 2008...I better start thinking right away!