Tiny Feats

My cousin sister's little daughter was attending her very first Interview for a seat in Nursery, at the XYZ Convent school, a school that has the distinction of churning out some really good girls and some really bad examples like me. So it was with utmost concern for my niece, that I refused to accompany them for the interview. Of course I didn’t tell them why, but with a record a mile long at this very institution, I didn’t think anyone related to me would be allowed within a mile of its hallowed walls.

It all started with my very first interview here, many years ago.

Sister: What is your name?
Me: I won’t tell you.
Mom: *gasp*
Dad: Ha! Ha! Ha….hum? er…sorry.
Sister: I will give you a Lollypop if you tell me your name.
Me: Yech, I hate lollypop.
Mom: *gasp*
Dad: *guffaw*

By the time the Interview was over, my mom’s face was an ashen color and Dad’s was a robust red from trying to control laughter. Anyways...due to the several rosaries recited by my Mom and her sisters on my behalf I got in and was put in Ms F’s class. My class teacher Miss F was a sweetheart, fresh out of college, brimming with confidence and a teachers training certificate to boot. She didn't last long.

Teacher: Girls please take out your coloring books!
Girl 2: Did you see the circus?
Girl 3: No
Girl 2: There was a big elephant.
Teachers: Girl, please please take out your coloring books .
Girl 2: And there was a joker too.
Girl 4: Really?
Girl 2: Yes and horses too.
Teacher: Girls *sob* please *sob* take out your books *sob*
Girl 1: I am going to ask my daddy to take me to the circus
Girl 2: And they have Ice Cream too.
Girl 3: Do they have dancing Zebras too?
Teacher ( banging her head on the table):Waaaaaaaah!!!

Miss F left, scarred for life, vowing never to teach kindergarten girls again. She joined the Nursery Section of the boy’s school next door where she was reportedly very happy.

The Nursery section is a separate enclosed area with its own playground, and a small Zoo with a sad looking peacock as its one and only incumbent. Its manliness, the long and colorful tail was stripped to the butt by determined little girls trying to catch him by the tail. The zoo was once populated with various animals that did not figure in the Endangered Species List like rabbits, budgerigars, pigeons, a crow etc. Alas, this too didn't last very long.

Girl 5: Miss, can I go see the birds?
New Teacher: Ok dear!
Girl 5 (coming back after 5 seconds): *sob* they ran away.
Teacher: Oh my God what did you do???
Girl 5: I took them for a walk *sniff*
Girl 6: Miss the fish in the tank is swimming funny!
New Teacher: Oh my God now what happened?
Girl 5: *snifff* I was feeding the fish that’s all.
New Teacher: What did you give it dear?
Girl 6: My lunch *bawl*
School Maid: Miss you had better come out see this, someone is throwing the rabbits down the slide.
New Teacher: *swoon*

After this incident the Zoo was put on the Gravely Endangered list of Zoos by the school management and we got a new teacher Miss T. Miss T lasted one whole period.

Miss T: Ok girls, I am going to be very strict and I will take no nonsense from any of you!
Girl : What is nonsense?
Miss T: er…lets learn to count today, take out your numbers book.
Girl : What is nonsense?
Miss T: Now Pinky, don’t ask silly questions and take out your number book.
Girl : What is a silly question?
Miss T: Shut up!!!
Girl : *sob*

After Miss T, a long line of fresh inexperienced young wannabe teachers came brimming with confidence and went brimming with despair, battle scarred and much wiser from the experience. With moiself involved in more than one escapade mentioned above, you can understand my reluctance to be seen anywhere in the vicinity of the school. It was with relief that I heard that my niece had got a seat in the school. But my happiness was cut short when my cousin sister told me that my niece had blurted out that her aunt was an ex student of the school.
To which, Sister turned to her and said smartly “Really? Well let’s see if we can do better with you !”