Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Ideas for selling

Been very busy these days. In fact I am so busy that I am giving the bees on the tree next door a massive complex. Busy as a bee may soon be replaced with 'busy as silverine' *sigh*

Trying to sell our products across the globe is an interesting and challenging thing to do. The HSBC ad puts it accross so neatly.“Different people, Different Perspective” says the ad. So true!!!

My Regional Marketing Manager (RMM) for Africa has a lot of ideas, though he is not able to put his finger on it.

RMM: Miss, selling in Africa is easy. All you need to do is make simple communication material.
Me: That sounds easy!
RMM: No high funda English!
Me: Fine.
RMM: No, big words
Me: I will remember that.
RMM: No long sentences
Me: Ok
RMM: And very less words.
Me: How about the picture of the product next to a Zebra?
RMM: What a brilliant idea!!!

The Marketing Manager for South East Asia, Mr. W has different demands.

Mr: W: Pithy (pretty) gals next to product ok?
Me: Ok!
Mr: W: Pithy gals must wear pithy dress ok?
Me: Ok
Mr: W: Pithy gals smile odee (all the) time ok?
Me: Ok!

Mr. W sure knows his region well. It is such a delight working for him (no offence meant to anyone)

The long suffering marketing guy in Europe is a stiff upper lip character. Before he comes down for meetings, the housekeeping staff can be seen furiously cleaning the best bone china and silver cutlery. I spend a week before his arrival trying to lift the cup from the bone china saucer with my pinkie extended and practice the stiff upper lip technique. We shall call him Mr. S

Mr. S: Good morning Miss. How do you do.
Me: How do you do.
Mr. S: It wouldn’t be intemperate for me to propound an amendment to the communication strategy a trifle for the coming season, would it?
Me: You mean, we need to make new ads?
Mr. S: Precisely!
Me: Do we have any new features in our products that we can highlight?
Mr. S: Oh good lord no!
Me: Any price cuts?
Mr. S: Heavens! Absolutely not!!
Me: Then we shall take a ‘we are superior’ attitude for our new ad campaign.
Mr. S: (placing the cup delicately on the saucer): Excellent!

I take back what I just said about communication being a challenge. It is a piece of cake, served with the right cutlery you see ;)

52 comments:

Anonymous said...

ha!first time commenting & first one too....great post, as always!! hey, why no comment about selling in india?

Karthik

Jeseem said...

great blog as always.
no wonder u r perfact for selling.
laughing all the way to the bank :-)

monu said...

Reminds me of some offices where south east asians are working as secretary ...if u call them and ask something (ex: somones phone number). we have to be very careful while listening to what they say... sometimes they say "His phone number is "thu thu pai pai one one" which is actualy 225511.

Mind Curry said...

i have always been fascinated by the communications folks. and i think you are at the right place at the right time.

this is hilarious!

Me: How about the picture of the product next to a Zebra?
loved that one! brilliant solution too! i am sure the client was also stumped!

iyer education said...

africa: product with an african elephant...

se asia: product with schezuan suace...

europe: product with london bridge

simple naa... now all you have to do is throw this back to the guys and ask them to make sense out of it...

tab tak i will take your leave before you decide to IMPOSE A BAN for me around here...

BuD said...

Me: Do we have any new features in our products that we can highlight?
Mr. S: Oh good lord no!
Me: Any price cuts?
Mr. S: Heavens! Absolutely not!!
Me: Then we shall take a ‘we are superior’ attitude for our new ad campaign.


You know for sure how to tackle problems lady ;-)

Inder said...

Pithy post :P

Fleiger said...

Oh, I was expecting the SUL Mr. S to give you cold stare when you said that piece about "We are superior". What he must have thought, "What an absolute cheek, implying anything otherwise, I say!" But then, he must have thought, "Chin up and stiff upper lip, Jeeves" (oops, got carried away. Don't mind that Jeeves part)

Jiby said...

girl, this must be your best post till date!!!

Mr.S: It wouldn’t be intemperate for me to propound an amendment to the communication strategy a trifle for the coming season, would it?
Me: You mean, we need to make new ads?


how can ur source of humour be so endless...making people laugh is so tough...but u do it so effortlessly...week after week!!!

Nikhil Narayanan said...

short and hilarious....

silverine said...

Karthik: Selling in India is easy, tell Amitabh or Saif to stand and look pretty near your product :))

Jeseen: Sometimes we cry on the way back from the bank :)

monu: lol true, even I have this same problem with Mr W :))

mind curry: The client was very happy and I am now considering Iyer Educations suggestions of the Elelphant and Sezhuan Sauce too :|

lol communication can be very frustrating when everybody thinks they are the experts and keep interfering...it is at these times that I resort to what has been described in the post...just do what they like :))

Iyer Education: That was brilliant. More ideas for my next campaign...with due credits to you of course!!!
And ban you? Absolutely not :)

Bud: It's an obvious solution isn't it? :)

Inder: Pithy summary :p

Fleiger: Preposterous!!! I am absolutely shocked at the comparison to a butler!!!! grrrr
:))

Jiby: Thank you Jiby :) Like I told somebody earlier I work in a loony house lol

Nikhil: Thanks buddy, hope you are enjoying the Bangalore weather :)

Alexis Leon said...

Simply superb. The zebra/product was too much :-) The encounter with the English guy reminded me of "Yes Primeminister". Please send me a copy of the pithy gals wearing pithy dress.ok?

Dr. Pissed said...

Oh man, that was something!
If I knew it were that easy, I'd have switched to Communication Management anyday.

But god damm, "fluctuations". hahahaha!

Annam said...

great post Silverine

Thanu said...

u mmanke communications sound so easy :)

Jazz By Jane said...

one hsbc account...SOLD!

Fleiger said...

I wasn't comparing you to anybody, that was just Mr. S' thoughts. And Jeeves is not a butler, but a gentleman's private gentleman. There's a lot of difference.

Also, comparing somebody to that fish-fed saviour of humanity (at least those in contact with Bertie) would be a proud moment for anyone, except in comparison for jobs.

emmanuel said...

nice to read....humour gets better.....but the last three posts were all conversation types.....a kinda monotonous...
keep writing......take care...
bye:)

Browser said...

I think you can use my sons help. They were trying to teach him "Sare jahan se acha" in playschool for Independance day. I over heard this yesterday night while he was playing with his toys - "Sara jahan'll poyappam achane kandu......" and he made a whole story of it. :-)

Anand K said...

ROFL.... I laaaavvvvvvved the stiff! I luuuvvvv their weird Brit accent and their curious lingo;
Preposterous! Absolutely preposterous!
Fish and chips today, Mrs. Aberline? Jolly good, I say!
Goodness gracious, this weather's turning quite rotten, eh old fruit? Righto!
Pass me a fag, darling. I'm bleedin' choking in here...


BTW, was adveltisement leplesentative flom SE Asia tlue brue Chinaman? "Pithy gals in peeenk dresses and sairol suits" sound like shitizen of Middre Kingdom! {See South Park series? The City Wok restaurant guy is Chinese and he asks you "Shitty Wok! I take order? Okayyy... one flied lice, zide oldel Shitty Beef and Ice Remorade...." :D

Rushes' Anomaly said...

A chain-saw and a zebra.

A baby's diaper and a zebra.

My imagination is running wild; Ahem ..some intersting products and a zebra !!

You Rock!

calvin said...

How do you Communications people pull this off ?" Pithy Girls " and "We are superior " and "Zebra's" =))

I met a Mr S kinda guy once. He used to take atleast ten imperious and awesome sounding words for telling you something that would normally take say , five words , or a simpe nod. I thought he was putting an act on. But I found out that it was something ingrained in his persona. And....The dude was a Londener and quiet a nice person

manuscrypts said...

Doubt if the HSBC theory fits clients as a species...more is the pithy!!

silverine said...

Alexis: Thank you :) One picture of a pithy gal in a pithy dress coming right up :))

dr pissed: "Fluctuations" ROFL I read that Torp post.

Annam: Thank you dear :)

Thanu: It is easy if you are willing to follow orders!

the chosen one: Wow!!!! :)

emmanual: That is what blogging is all about dear. You write what you want and respect others right to write what they want, whether it is good or bad!

browser: Get him to blog :)

Anand: Loved your contributions to the "stiff" and adveltisement leplesentative LOL The Marketing guy was indeed 'flom SE Asia tlue brue Chinaman'

rushes anomaly: Whoa gurl, my imagination is running wild too with you :p

Aashik: :p You know S is also a Londoner! And what you say is true, they do take the long and tortous route to arrive at the nearest point.

manuscrypts: Really? What a pithy!! :)

Lavanya said...

Good stuff silverine. now i will have to spend hours reading thru ur old posts...this shud be a laugh riot! i am looking forward to it now...:) Keep up the good work.

Chirikudukka said...

U have a great way of making every lil thing in life sound hilarious...good job buddy.

Maya Cassis said...

lol....Excellent one,dudette!hats off to ya :)

b v n said...

pretty interesting...what do you do for a living silverine ?

pophabhi said...

Sell. Thats the key word.
Do total stupid stuff. But sell.

Jagan said...

"Mr. S: It wouldn’t be intemperate for me to propound an amendment to the communication strategy a trifle for the coming season, would it?"

do they really speak crap like this??

Anonymous said...

lol.. reminds me of the 'Pink Panther' scene where he learns to speak burgur.. good one sil!

Anonymous said...

the last anony is me - Dreamer

Fleiger said...

So, did you get many Pithy gals wearing pithy (pink?) dress and smiling odee time? Reminds me of the discussion I was having with my friend last week. 90% of american ads are weight loss/medical benefits/legal oriented. They should start outsourcing advertising to India (or at least Hollywood for that matter) now.

silverine said...

Fleiger: oops forgot to reply to you earlier :)Now the reply to the comment is directed at Mr. S :)

Lavanya: Welcome to my blog, I guess I have seen you in DP's blog. Thanks for dropping by :)

Chirikuduka: Thank you dear :)

maya cassis: Thank you :)

b v n : I am an integrated communications specialist, though why they call it a 'specialist' I don't know :))

Pophabhi: Exactly!! You just described my marketing bretheren :p

Jagan: They do!!!! :)

Dreamer: Thank you, I still watch PP :))

Fleiger: That's interesting...outsourcing advertising may be the proverbial straw on the anti outsourcing brigade's back :p

EspritNoir said...

Me: Do we have any new features in our products that we can highlight?
Mr. S: Oh good lord no!
Me: Any price cuts?
Mr. S: Heavens! Absolutely not!!
Me: Then we shall take a ‘we are superior’ attitude for our new ad campaign.


a few days back, I akly got into an argument with somebody at work coz of this...brief given : design a mailer for sales team and distrib network, for a product that is almost exactly the same, as they have been selling all this while, but incorporate the words "ALL NEW ! WITH ALL NEW FEATURES" as i read the features, i realise that everythings the same. and they tell me, put some punch into it. make it snazzy, not boring. and i lose it:)

silverine said...

Espritnoir: *sighhhhhh* you just described a typical working day for me. I have run out of superlatives and their synonyms and words that closest to it etc. I am now thinking of coining new words. And the best part is they expect us to manufacture it like they are a dime a dozen. I have actually lifted the product and looked under and at other indecent places to find ANYTHING new that I can stretch and get the maximum mileage out of...like for example, "Our Environment Certification sticker is made of world class material!!!" :P

I will stop here before this becomes a rant :))

jammy said...

you have just given me a new perspective to the HSBC slogan...

Arti Honrao said...

Hey gurl! Me is here after long time... been busy writing eshtori!!

Do read when u get time :)
http://autumn.scriptmania.com

waitin 4 ur tipni :D



GBU
Arti

Fleiger said...

Hmm, interesting thought... Imagine an Anti-O/S organization appoaching and advert company to get some pamphlets/website done for them, and the pamphlets have "Made in India" written in small print at the corner. Picture the faces :D

dazedandconfused said...

Very funny! Loved the post!

aks said...

hey sil....awesome one yaar....struck the right notes of communication...anywayz....me too busy as a "sil".....these days life is encompassed within some maps n charts....hectic scedules and assignments to top it up...WORKAHOLISM...a beautiful game it is

Hiren said...

Hilarious. Reminds me of the fact that it is easy indeed to sell in africa but to recover payments- very tough.

Me:) said...

Great written. I am working in FEA marketing and can well understand. Interesting and serious post!

silverine said...

Jammy: Loved you new post but couldn't comment, rediff in unknown territory for me!

Arti: Am gonna check out your eshtori today :)

Fleiger: LOL I would love to see the look on their faces when they see that "made in india' credit :))

dazedandconfused; I am dazed and confused too..most of the time :)) Thank you :)

Aks: *same pinch* nice of you to comment inspite of all workload on your head *hugs*

Hiren: Hilarious!!! That is so true!!!! =))

me: Thank you fellow sufferer :))

Pavan said...

definitely served with the right cutlery!!!

G said...

Bloody brilliant eh, old gel? Pity the ex-missus didn't make me chuckle so, I'd still be a married old git!

Discovered your blog via the Master of Mirth, Sidin and I'm glad I did.

silverine said...

G: You are funny :)) Glad you found your way here :) And Sidin is the master, just love his sense of humor.

G said...

You will pardon my ignorance when I say I've nary a clue what an integrated communications specialist is.

Would that be Corp. Comm, PR or advertising? Or heck, an integration of all three? Just curious!

silverine said...

G:It is all three plus Internal Communication :) It is madness...

G said...

Madness is good! Definately better than mundane, wot?

neermathalam said...

Me: Do we have any new features in our products that we can highlight?
Mr. S: Oh good lord no!
Me: Any price cuts?
Mr. S: Heavens! Absolutely not!!
Me: Then we shall take a ‘we are superior’ attitude for our new ad campaign.
Mr. S: (placing the cup delicately on the saucer): Excellent!

Nothing more can be said about communication...Hats off silverine.

silverine said...

G: Right Said G!! :)

Neermathalam: Thank you :)