Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Banking technology jargon

On Friday I walked into the ATM of an MNC Bank. This ATM is one of the best I have seen…clean and cool with air conditioning, a wide screen TV, potted plants, ISD facilities, smart and polite security guards etc. This is the first time I am using my Debit Card at another bank’s ATM, since I have an ATM close to office and home. I am impressed at the networking between banks, thanks to advances in Information Technology. You can even get your latest bank balance here after you withdraw money! Amazing!!!!

Now suppose your bank balance is Rs. 1000/- and you withdraw Rs. 200/-. This is how the transaction will go.

Please swipe your card and pull it out.
You have Rs. 1000/- in your account.
Please enter the amount you wish to withdraw
Please collect your cash.
Do you want a receipt for this transaction?

The moment you agree to a Receipt and press ‘Yes’ the ATM connects and communicates through, a host processor to your Bank’s Server and deducts the amount you have withdrawn from your account and gives you, your latest bank balance in a jiffy, like this.

Here is your new account balance.

Rs. 1000/- IS NOT AVAILABLE IN YOUR ACCOUNT!


Wow!!! And silly, mathematically challenged , me thought it was Rs. 800!!!

And with this I complete 100 posts folks! Thank you! :)

64 comments:

Mind Curry said...

as always the excellent silverine style written allover the post!

silverine said...

Mind Curry: FIrst comment on my 100th post derserves special acknowledgment! Thank you doc for all the times you took the trouble to read and comment. Really appreciate it :)

Mind Curry said...

you know.. my "comment no.1" status was under threat..so had to post one earlier ;)

i think with this 100th post we have understood the person you are a lot better :) kidding..

i should say you are the best! i think everyone will agree that you are top-cat in blogosphere..perhaps if we knew you outside blogosphere, there too!

but i would like to thank you for the wonderful spirit and warmth you have spread through your blog and comments! you have been great! just like the poomanam! keep it coming!

Mind Curry said...

i was afraid if i will lose my 2nd comment status..i did..but thankfuly to you :) but now am worried about my 4th comment status...brrrr!!

i have to add, its been more than a pleasure to read your writing!

Anonymous said...

I dont understand... You are supposed to be grateful that you have not lost money. Last time I withdrawed Rs 200 from a different bank's ATM and they charged Rs 500 for that transaction... Or is it that you haven't checked your accout... If not, check it immediately and make sure that you dont owe your bank money for all the comforts at the other bank's ATM kiosk ;-) ...

BTW, Congrats for your 100th post...

Unnikrishnan G Nair.

DD said...

:-)
Now its back to silly old boring life as usual after Brazil (and yeah England too) are out of the WC...boohoooo

calvin said...

CONGRATS DUDE !!! Way to go

Would you believe it ? I succesfully locked my ATM card yesterday. It asked me enter the PIN. I did enter the PIN and all. It went ahead and asked me how much to withdraw and so on and so forth.. and then told me that the PIN was incorrect. I entered it again . and again . and after sometime , it got confused and told me that the PIN was wrong , its locking my card and "contact the branch please " .. and then the masterpiece..A "Thank You" !!!

And when i reached home , i found out that i had entered the PIN alright , but it belonged my old ATM card :(

So now I have money in my account and none in my pocket .

Rushes' Anomaly said...

Congrats Silverine. Me loves your blog! (noooo, only your blog, wont stalk you!)

Havent you thot about freelancing?

Anyways, looking fwd to more of those bone-tickling escapades of yours :-)

silverine said...

Mind Curry: Ok..now you are giving me a swollen head :p Thank you doc, I am def not number one, but I hope I am number one in the number of blog pals :) And I am delighted that you are the number one commenter today!! And the third and fourth too..gosh you are getting your groove back, now I will have to order more medals :)) And it is more than a pleasure goofing around on your blog :p Which reminds me you haven't replied to Miss Scissor's threat :|
:)

Unnikrishnan G Nair: Thank you! :) I guess you didn't get it. The ATM cooly stated the obvious... that after the withdrawal my account balance was not the same as before!

DD: I guess it is the withdrawal symptoms now :)

Aashik:Thank you Aashik :) LOL I have done the same. Then had to re apply for a new Pin number :))

Rushes' Anomaly: *hugs* Thank you dear. It is pleasure having you here :)

Jaguuu.... said...

Hmmm...congrats on a well complied Century.... ;) each & every run ...err post was classy :)

Jithu said...

well, that is an achievement indeed. i used to wonder how u get all the time in this world to update ur blog so frequently. well, alternately, i can see hw ur boss thinks abt u using ur paid office time :p

jokes apart, congrats on ur feat and lets hope to see a hundred more posts coming out of this blog.

EspritNoir said...

and so, with an elegant stroke of the pen (read keyboard), silverine straight drives her written word towards the boundary line, and completes her first century :) hooray!!! all hail the new sachin of the blogoshpere...heres looking for lots more...to misquote the real sachin, "BlogPower, Go Get It, Girl":)

Anonymous said...

Wow... What a a way to make that century.

lol on Rs 1000/- not anymore in your account...but of course! :))

I am mighty glad u are around gal...!

Praveen Poonacha

pophabhi said...

Congrats on your century!!
Excellent calculations by the Ramanujan ATM.

Alexis Leon said...

Nice post. Only Rs. 1000/- in your account. So sad, I was planning to borrow some money from you.

Congratulation on the century. I now give you the rank of the Centurion in the Imperial Army of Bloggers (IAB) protecting the blogosphere.

It was indeed a pleasure reading your posts. And may God bless to make it to a 1000. Then I will promote you to the rank of an Imperator :-)

silverine said...

Jaguuu: Thank you :)

Jithu: I dont blog in the office da, and thanks for the good wishes :)

Espritnoir: Wowwww, now that was one stylish stroke of the pen...er keyboard :) Thank you!!!!! Sachin of the blogosphere??? naah there are many who have finished already, I am the straggler :p

Pravin: Thank you :)

pophabhi: LOL it is the City Bank ATM. I think they should remove that feature and stop making fools of themselves :))

Alexis: Thank you I am honored :)If I knew you were planning on borrowing then I would have perhaps made it Rs. 100 :p When I first saw this at the ATM I burst out laughing because I was waiting patiently for the account balance and here the ATM was telling me that the balance was not the same as before because of the withdrawal. I dont know why they do it?

Imperator...hope I live to blog a 1000 posts :)

shruti said...

hey man ..nice post ..u gotta pay soemthing for convienience na ..and thts the way they make money ..I hate it if the bank cuts my money unfairly ..am pretty good with my accounts ( been my fav after maths ) so dnt allow them to mess ard with my money ..thou the Customer care rep can be tiring sometimes ...they dnt understand anething ..
neway cheers to the 100 th post thing !!

Thanu said...

congrats on ur 100th post.

I have an ATM and a PIN and this acct has money (atleast that is what I think),I never use atm, its like I'm dashing out of the door and I go, shekar I need some cash.
His usual suggestion: get it frm the ATM
My Response: No time, paise tha

He pulls out a 20 fom his wallet and hands it over...

I have my own personal ATM that doesn't ask me for a PIN

Browser said...

Sachin of the blogosphere - hmm.... What is the equivalent of a Ferrari in blogsphere? And whatever it is, remember to pay the duty unless you want the torpedoes after you.

Congrats on your hundred - ** hugs and umma**. Oopps withdrawing the same bcoz my wife just gave me the stare :-)

mathew said...

thanx for all the 100 posts...it must help a lot many heart patients who can die peacfully laughing all the way!!!!!!!! :)

silverine said...

Shruthi: Thanks dear. If they dont know the new balance then why say that the account doesn't have your previous balance, we know that don't we? Damn silly I say :))

Thanu: Thanks :) "I have my own personal ATM that doesn't ask me for a PIN LOL You know that way I have 4 ATMs in the house :p

Browser: ROFL
You just made my day! Tell your wife she has a dashing guy as her hubby :)) And thanks for the wishes, will pay my duties if and when I get a Ferrari, cos I don't want to be torpedoed :))

Mathew: Thanks dear lol I hope I don't kill anyone :))

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

hey ....

have u ever hugged Appu ? i mean now , that u guys are friends , he might not mind so much .. Eh ?

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

heh heh heh ... talk abt school maths ! what did they know abt ATMs ????

congrats on the 100

c ya

Pratish Menon said...

Haila Hundred! Sahi hai. Congrats n all. 100 posts available in your account :P

Beuls said...

Im fairly recent to blogosphere... but I must say I enjoy reading u the most. Congrats on the 100 and here's hoping MNC Banking gets more sensible by the time u hit the next 100. :)

Kurur said...

I wouldnt blame the MNC Bank ATM by any chance. It was merely being risk-averse like most Indian bankers are. It definitely couldnt commit the exact balance amount you have. So it gave you the most obvious information it could! You can probably say that the ghost of the Indian Banker resides in all MNC Bank ATMs too. :-)

Congrats on your 100th post!

hope and love said...

:))
keep up ur adorable style..

Lalit Singh said...

Silveriiiiiiiiiine
century maari!!!
congrats babez... you raak!!!!
hopes you keeps the on writings... and we keeps the you wishings

lash said...

congrats on ur 100th post. :)

lemme make a guess.. was that ABN AMRO u were talkin abt??? :))

Anonymous said...

congrats on the golden run!!!!

me loves your blog! :-)

Abhishek Mathew

Mind Curry said...

You know that way I have 4 ATMs in the house :p
You know that way i have 3 ATMs in my house..but when i ask for money they give me the pin! and it hurts! :)

Pritika Gupta said...

hehe.. good one

Reshmi said...

congrats dear..:)
n keep going..

Johnny said...

Prevention is better that cure. I learned a lot about ATM's from your post and other' comments. I won't commit the mistakes!

Eventhough I started reading your blog from your 98'th post, I was thoroughly impressed. Keep up the good work.

Cheers. By the way when will we get the party? 100 is definitely worth a celebration. Book a 5 star hotel for the party! We are waiting ...

silverine said...

Deepa: Hug Appu? *UGH* he drools :( Thanks dear for the wishes :)

Pratish: :p

Beuls: Thank you dear, keep blogging and I hope I get to wish you on your 50 and 100 :)

Kurur: Thank you! You just made that ATM look smart by that comment :)

HnL: Thank you doc :)

Lalit: Thank you buddy, you raak too !!! :)

Lash: It was City Bank and thanks :)

Abhishek: Thank you dear :)

Mind Curry: LOL good one doc :)) *Ouch* that must hurt...and pinch too :p

Reshmi: Thank you :)

Pritika: Glad you got the joke gal :p

Johny: This was not a mistake..the ATM didnt have the latest balance and so it merely stated that the old balance was not the same anymore :) Party? Let me reach 200 then there will def be a party ;)

Amitabha said...

100 and all amazingly refreshing posts.Truly appreciate your sense of subtle humour..The one on buying PC with your uncle was a jaw breaker ..keep writing..Can we something on the World cup too ??

LI said...

Clap clap for all the nice posts which contributed to the century

Anonymous said...

don't get me wrong, but for the 100th post this is pretty unremarkable. maybe you have set the bar high by now. you should take it as an underhanded complement, you know.

yeah, it's just a blog and you're no professional, we know. the comments are a little over the top, but that ain't your fault. but still pay a lil more attention, and you'll be all good.

keep up the spirit.

silverine said...

Amitabha: Thank you :)

Lijo: *silverine bows to the applause * :)

Anon: I am really sorry that you had to go through the trouble of word verification, advice and 'underhanded compliment' etc. because you got the wrong place dear...as you so astutely observed but forgot in a fit of momentary 'amnesia'...this is a blog and not a Dave Barry colomn :)

And you too keep up the spirit dear...:)

Suji said...

Congrats on your century! Its always fun reading your posts, so keep posting. May you have many more centuries. :)

Dr. Pissed said...

Woohoo, 100 down, 26000 to go!!
Woohoo!!

JamesBright said...

My congratulations for this "one hundred posts of humour and wisdom." May God give you more and more super hits..!

Mind Curry said...

this is a blog and not a Dave Barry colomn
lol..that was hilarious..

p.s. hope your bar is lower now, but the spirit is higher!

Tha Dalda said...

ushoo. fundoo huh. even i thought it was 800 da. i have to sue my maths teacher for cheating me. shame on them.

p.s. appy 100th post. congrats.

venus said...

happy century silverine!

technically the ATM is not wrong :P now you do NOT have Rs.1000/- in your account!

starry nights said...

thank god for ATM's .you have written 100 wonderful posts , have enjoyed reading most of them.You were the first Blog that I had ever read, accidently stumbled on it while I was looking for something else.Thanks to google.

silverine said...

Suji: And it is always nice to read your comments, thanks for dropping by and commenting everytime you did :)

dr pissed: Thanks da :)

Jamesbright: Thank you doc :)

Mind Curry: he he doc I am laughing away here...that was a good one :p
you are prolly right about the bar and the spirit !!! lol

the dalda: thanks da, shame on ur maths teacher and mine too :p

venus: True dear, and that's what I was trying to point out :))

starry night: I am gonna send Google a 'thank you note' today :) Thank you dear!!

Kusum Rohra said...

Congrats :) App likhe 1000 saal haar saal main post hon 50000. It's a little strange(because it's never happened to me before), but your blog can surely be counted as one of the finer things life has to offer.

Cheerio :)

Anonymous said...

Rs. 1000/- IS NOT AVAILABLE IN YOUR ACCOUNT!

-LOL! Congratualations! 100 posts! That's great :)

silverine said...

Kusum: Thank you dear gurl, that was such a nice thing to say!

Anon: Thank you :)

Lazith Aziz said...

Congratulations on your 100th post.

Some pages I dont miss to visit often :-
1.google.com (ofcourse.!)
2.mail.yahoo.com
3.ndtv.com
4.our internal site.
5.poomanam.blogspot.com

and thats it here now...with a 100th post.

Appreciate your candid style of putting things and your patience to sit and write ...

Keep posting...we will keep reading!

Cheers!

God bless you with many more keyboards (am sure your current one has got its key worn out)
and strong internet bandwidth to write all and everything you like to!

Anjaan said...

100 Posts!!! Phew!
Thats a lot of typing. U must have biceps on your fingertips by now. Ur a qualified black belt in blogging.
COngratulations.
Looking forward to a million more

neermathalam said...

THIS IS NOT FAIR...
Poor citibank ATM...it give you money when u needed and you are making a mockery of that poor ATM...
you are doing all these injustice only because ATMs cant speak up...
i m with that ATM
anyway :-)))))))
keeep going...

silverine said...

Lazith Aziz : Thank you, how sweet of you :) My keyboard is a Dell keyboard and is as good as new even after two years of pounding it :))

Anjaan: "U must have biceps on your fingertips by now. Ur a qualified black belt in blogging. lol Thank you :)

neermathalam: Thanks for dropping by :)

Nikhil Narayanan said...

kalakky mashey!!

Jazz By Jane said...

Hey there...have seen your comments on other people's blogs but this is my first official visit here :) came from thanu and kusum's spaces. congrats on touching 100!

am a blogosphere newbie and after reading all the comments here i see i've missed a lot of good action. so i hope you don't mind if i make myself comfy and read your posts from the back of beyond!

b v n said...

hi silverine,great going...hundred posts...with a lot of subtle wit(maybe tats the best part of your posts)..you know read...read again...ok i got it now kinda stuff...keep posting(know you'll do)....linking your blog(dont mind)...you know pretty good time-pass and some catch-up to do on yr archives :-)...keep going

Kautilya said...

congrats di ammey... on ur huntreth post...
u rock.. and keep doin so...

Dhanush said...

Congrats Silverine .. on the Century :)

silverine said...

Nikhil: Thanks buddy :)

the chosen one: Welcome to my blog and make yourself comfy :)

b v n: Thanks for linking me and the kind words :)

Kautilya: Thanks Kautilya :)

Dhanush: Thank you Dhanush! :)

Reji said...

Congrats! All the very best..

silverine said...

Reji: Thank you :)

Anonymous said...

Hey poomanam!!..kangaroo relations on your 100th post :)

and did you check your account later?..did the "1000 not available" mean that you have "NIL" now? ;) ..

And you know what! I started reading your blog today, read for 5 minutes and TRUST ME !...I almost got INSANE!!
check it out....
http://poomanam.blogpsot.com/ ..

I was like uh, oh ..what happened to this girl..she was okay just before a couple of weeks!!!

Anyways I was really glad once I discovered what had happened!..hehe

Keep rocking as usual

Cheerio
Shan

Dreamer said...

Congratz for the century! WTG!