Saturday, July 08, 2006

P C Clinic

Last Saturday my PC suddenly stopped working. Now this was a bad start to the weekend for poor me who connects with all her far flung useless friends on Saturdays to listen to their boyfriend/hubby/broken nails/PMS woes on the Yahoo messenger. Chatting with four gals at the same time can have some interesting effects.

Friend 1: My BF wants me to get a crew cut.
Me: Cucumber slices are great for it.
Friend 2: I have dark circles under my eye
Me: Tell your BF to go to hell yaar
Friend 1: You mean cucumber slices are great for a crew cut?
Friend 2: Will it help?
Me: oops wrong window.

Anyways, I checked my PC power connection, cabling, my hair, nail polish and even my Horoscope and whatever else a non technical person like me checks when their PCs won’t start. Everything looked fine, but the damn thing wouldn’t start!! I even said some nice encouraging words to coax it to start .

Me: Nice PC, good PC if you start like a good machine I promise I will get you a bigger hard disk or Ram or er… whatever else pleases you
PC: *silence*
Me: $$%$#^&* I swear I will replace you with a Lenovo! grrrrr

Now don’t look at me in horror folks. We all know how desperate people get when their PC doesn’t work. Heck it has made some people do impossible things like… “pray” for instance! So I said a small prayer over it, but either Gods Inbox was full or He had become an atheist or He was deliberately ignoring me. *sigh*

It was then I remembered “PC DOC”, “The Friendly Neighborhood PC Repairman” who had recently set up, P C Clinic” in the neighborhood approximately 20 kilometers from my neighborhood. His impressive power point presentation had Superman, Tarzan, Bill Gates and even Saddam Hussein waxing eloquent about his services. In the last slide of the presentation, Saddam looks you in the eye and says “Call PC Doc or else…..!!!” Very convincing. His extensive services covered computer peripherals too like spider webs, cockroaches, rodents, mother-in-laws etc.

Call me PC Doc” he had said after the ppt “and remember to call PC Doc whenever your PC is not in good health”. PC Doc was in my house before I could even put the phone down. I was impressed. He wore a white lab coat and had two ‘interns’ and a suitcase with him.

PC Doc had a “Ah! A girl!!! This is going to be a piece of cake.” kind of look.
Intern No 1 had an “I hope he pays me for putting on this damn lab coat and standing around like a fool” kind of look.
Intern No 2 had a “he is still to pay me for standing in as Bill Gates at that sweet old lady’s house” kind of look.
And I had a “Wow I am so impressed!” kind of look.
To which the PC Doc sported a “It’s official, we have a sucker in our hands” kind of look.

PC Doc slid under the table after some complicated contortions to examine his ‘patient’, straightened up and faced me with a grave expression. I had this horrible sinking feeling, like that moment in the movies when the doctor gives the horrible news to the patient that he doesn’t have a medical degree.

PC Doc ( very seriously): Miss you had better sit down.
Me ( turning pale): What is wrong PC Doc?

(At this point of time I remembered the horrible tragedy of my friend Rita, whose CPU fell into the Piranha Tank at the PC Clinic and came out an empty shell. Poor PC Doc was more heartbroken than Rita when he returned the empty shell.)

PC Doc( gravely): I’m afraid the news is not good. The examination confirms that your PC is in the late stages of Hard Disk damage.
Me: Oh my God!!
PC Doc ( even more gravely):Unfortunately, there is no question about the results. You can take a second opinion but it will only prolong the inevitable.
Me: Inevitable?
PC Doc: Yes. I am afraid you will have to buy a new Hard Disk. I can buy your old damaged one for fifty rupees. It’s the best deal you will ever get.
Me (in a small voice): O.k...

Just then my brother strolled in and wanted to know what was going on and why these guys were dressed so funnily. I told him the tragic tale of my PC . He went around the CPU and flicked on a switch. The PC roared to life when he started it. Inching towards the door he said “ um..er… well….when you were having breakfast I..umm…ahem switched off the CPU ..it was just a joke you see…hey what are you doing????? Put down that keyboard I said!!!!

*CRACK*

The keyboard missed him narrowly, but I swear I will get him next time. My room looked like an alphabet soup spill zone. I looked around for PC Doc but he had apparently had to leave in a tremendous hurry.

Anyways I have just got a consultation bill from PC Clinic and if I work non stop for 24 hours for the next 15 years and live on bread and water I might just be able to clear his bill. I am now working evenings at KFC and during my coffee breaks at KFC, I go to Kairalee Mess and wait at the tables. Every penny counts you see.

See you folks, I will miss you all, keep blogging. See you in fifteen years.

64 comments:

starry nights said...

I am first for the very first time.Hilarious post.hope u dont have to visit the PC doc again.

Immigrant in Canada said...

that was really really funny..

mathew said...

Lol!!!God being an atheist..wow!!
There is a uncle of mine who is a 50's guy and as apparent detest for computers..Infact he has taken a liking for the word "MOTHER BOARD" which he percieves as some expletive!!!

Anonymous said...

lol hilarious, thanx for the weekend laffs :D

PP

Jim said...

Maybe it's time I switch from a potential career in hardware design to PC tech support :-)

<evil laugh>

Thanu said...

very funny..

shruti said...

very hialrious ,adn well written .. had me rolling .. in a hurry girl ...nice weather goin for a picnic .. but the god thingie was awesome ..vaise god an aethist ? neevr thgt like tht be4 ,,he he

Maverick said...

my heart skips a beat whenever my system takes some extra time to boot..cant live without her :)

PS: next time u need a pc doc be sure to call me in... where else can one get a hard disk for 50 bucks :)):))

Mumbai Guy said...

Lengthy but good post, btw.

Jaguuu... said...

:P

Friend 1: My BF wants me to get a crew cut.
Me: Cucumber slices are great for it.

LOL!!!

So u have a Friend who has a Punk for a Boy Friend??

Have a Great weekend Funny Girl :)

Dr. Pissed said...

hahahaha
Its really not that complicated to locate the "power switch" you know!

Guldu.

Alexis Leon said...

Hilarious... My room looked like an alphabet soup spill zone. ROFL.. SO how is KFC?

Lalit Singh said...

lols
15 years
ok....
catch ya then

madhavan said...

"I had this horrible sinking feeling, like that moment in the movies when the doctor gives the horrible news to the patient that he doesn’t have a medical degree."

ROFLAO

Piranha Tank =))

Johnny said...

Brilliant absolutely brilliant.

A blog sprinkled with your humor sense, spiced with chilles, served in a contemporary platter, with a sarcastic aroma, girl it tastes good!

You know my taste buds are laughing and I can't have another dish for the time being. Hope to taste more from ur culinary (KFC?)

calvin said...

=)) AWESOME DUDE..U just made my day !!!..err..its only the start of the day..still..

And ah..where is da Kairalee Mess.. ahem.. eh ?.. :D

Sujit said...

hehe.. very funny!.. creative comedian!.. :)

silverine said...

Starry Nights: Thanks girl for that first comment. He is no more my PC Doc :)

Sarah and Thanu: Thank you :)

Mathew: I think with devotess like me even God will become an athiest :p Your uncle is priceless :))

PP: Thanks :)

Shruthi: Have a blast gal :)

Maverick: Join the que of people wanting to service my PC :))

Mumbai Guy: Thanks for dropping by :)

dr pissed: Now I know where the power switch is da :) You might know this guy, very prominent in our area.

Alexis: Thank you :) KFC is back breaking. The Colonel works me to the bone :p

Lalit: lol

Madhavan: Thank you, these guys are like Piranhas who eat the innards of your PC.

Johnny: Wow, what a description!! :) Thanks buddy! KFC is Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Aashik: Kairalee Mess in near Christ College. If you drop by pls spare some change towards my outstandings :))

Sujith: Thank you :)

b v n said...

hehe...you get pissed by almost everything...atm,mahajan's son and now its the turn of some poor pc doc put there by chance..the ending was neat...reely good...so catch ya sometime in kairali mess :-)

Kusum Rohra said...

Er I wish I could help you in paying off that bill, but alas I too have a brother who takes to switching off the CPU, or unplugging the UPS and I too am burdened with the bills of my neighbourhood PC Doc.

*Looks up at the sky and questions almighty why has he been so unfair to innocent women like us*

Nikhil Narayanan said...

kalakky

Tha Dalda said...

chee. wish i was the PC doc. i would have ripped u off for about 50 bucks. damn, i could have got a new computer. anyways, dr pissed is donating a computer and a kidney for the "save the dalda" fund.

Anonymous said...

That was surely the worst piece of comic writing I have ever come across...And even sadder, people acknowledge this as a great one..Sigh

silverine said...

Jaguuu: lol I am going to show her this comment of yours :p

b v n: Poor PC Doc? Wait till you get to deal with one of them. And don't forget to tip generously :))

Kusum: Gurl the alter ego strikes again!!!

Nikhil: Thanks buddy :)

the dalda: lol

Anon: *sigh* Wot to do we are like this wonly. Thanks for dropping by. Next time you know what to do, AVOID this blog like the plague.

Rockus said...

Hmmmm...PC Doc seems to be a lucrative job!
Has this particular guy shut shop? I could move in to his place u know! :P

pophabhi said...

LOL!! Terrific post.
So, it was you who gave us those stale porottas at Kairali on Sunday! Grrr.... ;-)

Safari Al said...

buy a new calculator

Rushes' Anomaly said...

Oh Silverine, even if my PC started cracking all those little johnny jokes, I wouldn't laugh so much. Thankyou!

well, I know a certain NGO, where a certain h/w doc did a similar diagnosis and took away the hd of 2 pcs.. for 500/- (still a better deal!)

monu said...

"See you in fifteen years."

:D :D :D

Anonymous said...

Hi

First thing that I have to say is I hate a lot of thing about PC docs. Why not, when there are so many rip offs and so called experts, who are just lucky because the average user is so unfamiliar with the PC.

Second thing I have to say is that I love the way you look at things from a different perspective.

Roshan

Dhanush said...

PC Doc had a "Ah! A girl!!! This is going to be a piece of cake." kind of look.
Intern No 1 had an "I hope he pays me for putting on this damn lab coat and standing around like a fool" kind of look.
Intern No 2 had a "he is still to pay me for standing in as Bill Gates at that sweet old lady's house" kind of look.
And I had a "Wow I am so impressed!" kind of look.
To which the PC Doc sported a "It's official, we have a sucker in our hands" kind of look.

Lovely post :)

In these days of ppl flying onsite to pay their bills and loans, it takes a great heart of Sliverine to work over time in our country and pay her bills ;) ...Wow.. Really Great.

Kairali kaarum njanum thammil athra swarachercha yilla.. especially the one near Christ College.. So you better watch out for a Kalippan next time ;)

m..er... well....when you were having breakfast I..umm...ahem switched off the CPU .


Oru shamshyaam .. if the Bro had switched off the CPU.. then What on earth were you trying to Switch On ??? I cant imagine you called the PC Doc for that, and that Manda Muthaappaa too couldn't find out ;)..

Ho...NKUC (Nilathu Kidannu Urundu Chirikkunnu. .. Ennum ROFL ennu ezhuthiyalengana.. oru change okke vende .. Simbly for Horror .... )

Kurur said...

whenever my PC ditches me i abuse it thoroughly in binary and it works! all it needs are a few curses adorned with just zeroes and ones to kick it back to functioning mode again!

silverine said...

Rockus: He is still around :)

Pophabhi: Thats what happens when you leave measly tips grrrr
:))

Safari Al: ?

Roshan: Thank you :)

Dhanush: Thank you :) I know how to deal with customers like you... just you come to Kairali :p And about the switch, it is the small black switch at the back of some CPUs, And the doc is no Manda Muthaappaa, he knew exactly what he was doing :)) NKUC is cool lol

Kurur: Now that is something new I have heard today! I had an old machine that needed a good bang to get it to start.

silverine said...

Rushes anomaly: Thank you girl:)You know I have heard several such cases of fraud by PC Docs!!!

Monu: The bill can set you back by several years :p

Jazz By Jane said...

hehehehe! good one :)

iyer education said...

awesome... wholesome and hilariousome i say...

my pc doc takes my medical knowledge for a ride and everytime comes up with a new disease for my pc...

the last time it was lymphocircoma of the CPU and he says there was no WINDOW(s) of any hope for it to survive... DAMN HIM

Anonymous said...

hillarious!!!

god turning athiest was too good :p

Anonymous said...

hehe good one...HOPEFULLY, see in you in 15 years [;)]

Shan

Arti Honrao said...

Oh My God!!! U r really having a bad time gurl ... working so hard ... I know each penny counts ... just an idea ... y don't u use paypal on ur blog ... loads of ppl will pour in cash to help the poor [and loving] soul u r ...
Just tell me when u come up with paypal thing ...
I will never visit u again :p



GBU
Arti

Dreamer said...

Wonderful!! thats a trick the hardware "Doctors" try sometimes when the get a potential pray...

good that u missed him, else you end up paying the bill for Wockhardt or Manipal or atleast st.Johns.. :)
LOL..

silverine said...

the chosen one: Thank you :)

iyer education: Thank you :) The lymphocircoma of the CPU was so funny LOL
I had left a comment after Kautilya in your cuisine post. It seems to have disappeared. I hope you are your family are safe .

Anon: Thanks :)

Shan: lol I hope too :))

Arti: lol with friends like you ...:)) I hope you are your family are alright.

Dreamer: lol that sounds scary :))

Safari Al said...

i at least got your attention.:p

PSR Chaitanya said...

Funky post. lol.

Inder said...

ha.. ha...
your brother should have dropped at your room after the pc doc had ripped off your hard disc for 50 bucks. unlucky pc doc.
seems this pc doc is a cool character - roaming with couple of assistants. :P

manuscrypts said...

uh oh.. if kairali isnt a mess already, it sure is gonna be :D

Arti Honrao said...

Yeah!! Am always der yaar!! U need ne such ideas ... apunko poochneka ;)
Yeah, we all are fine..
But still :(



GBU
Arti

If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...

hey silverine, long time i know...just caught up on some of your older posts. laffed quite a bit. i finally managed to post myself as well...whew...so i hope u arent really planning a 15 yr sabattical? what would we all do?

silverine said...

safari al : :p

p s r : Thanx! :)

Inder:He is indeed a cool character and his business is thriving. The Piranha Tank is a joke I had come up with since so many CPU's came back rather empty :p

manuscrypts: Thanks for the words of encouragment :p

Arti: But still :(

If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya: Girl!!! It is so nice to see you back in action!! Give Lizzie a *muah* from my side . he he ok dont barf now, but do convey my regards :))

Safari Al said...

:p:p right back at you. hows you? how come i never find you on YIM?

Mind Curry said...

sorry for the late comment..been hanging out at KFC, Kairalee etc with my ill PC..i heard a certain charming waitress there is skilled and oozing with experience in treating PCs. couldnt find her though! :( much in demand i say. oops...i forgot to check the colonel's comp room!

what was that about 15 years though? shocking!

Friend 1: My BF wants me to get a crew cut.
Me: Cucumber slices are great for it.

that helped! how did you know??

:)

@ anonymous - grrrr!

Hiren said...

Interesting and hillarious. I need a doc to save me from my pcdoc. One cannot have a maintanance contract for one home computer and one can really get hassled by these small comuputer fellows.

silverine said...

Safari Al: Yahoo is blocked in office da :(

Mind Curry: So thats where you were!!! The charming waitress is waiting to get her claws into the PC Doc..I heard he frequents Kairalee you see :p
LOL you had a crew cut? I would love to see a pic of you with the cucumber on the head. he he Pls do post it at Talking Images :))
The way I am working these days, it looks like it will be 15 years before I get time to blog :(
...and Mr Anon ..lets leave him to stew in his own juices :p

Hiren: lol we all need to see a doc after a visit by a PC Doc. They are rip offs!!!

Safari Al said...

not fair. what about gmail? actually there is a workaround for that. try www.meebo.com

roby said...

good one keep such posts coming . i really like your style of writing .atta girl . hope you now are ready to get ur pay back at bro .....wink.

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

PC Doc ...

Hello PC Doc
Can u gimme the magic words ?

( rem the song : Witch Doctor ) ?

well , in typing the previous comment , i forgot to type what i wanted to .. newayz , have a great weekend !

catch ya soon

and pls do del the above comment .. ok ?

c ya dear
bye

jay menon said...

Had same experience with a TV Doc....tht guy came to my house and started working hardddd and said...picture tube is dead....when i came home i saw our doc explaining the problem of picutre tube and it shud be replaced etc etc....Could see great admiration in moms eyes...Then I realised tht it was power cut for the whole day !!!!

Anil The Great said...

hahahaha .... absolutely hillarious as ever.

15yrs???????? dont make us wait for 15 days .

-ATG

silverine said...

Safari Al: Meebo is also blocked! They think of everything lol

Roby: Thanks for dropping by buddy. Payback sounds so sood :))

Deepa: Have done the needful dear and best of luck with what you went to Mumbai for :)

Jay Menon: ROFL

Anil the great: Hi there, nice to see you here. Hope to blog soon, am swamped with work!

Rose said...

~sob~ ~sob~

Its sad to hear abt ur PC.. Hope he gets well soon after the hard-disk transplant..

:D

..Me

Kusum Rohra said...

Er new post please :)

Goan Pao said...

I love to screw up with non technical people....gawd ure just like my sis...and i have been hit with bigger objects...the marks on my body are proof..but i'd still do it again..all for that look on her face...

silverine said...

Rose: *sniff* Thank you dear!
:)

Goan Pav: he he my brother likes to have a laugh at my expense like you :)) Nowadays I call one of his friends who is a computer whizz :p

Kusum: Don't feel like dear, not after what happened in Mumbai. At present I feel like lashing out at those b*****s who did this. I am so mad!!!

Srinivas said...

Hmmmmm.. You can't always say its the PC Doc's fault. The look on your face that you are a "technically-challeneged-dumbo adds to it :p

Jus kidding ;)

The reason I'm saying is, I used to be a PC Compunder when I graduated and no one would give me a job and I assembled and sold computers ;) and provided support.

silverine said...

Srinivas: Well.. I was a technically-challeneged-dumbo in the beginning, now I am much wiser :))