Friday, July 21, 2006

Bloody B'gers

As of Monday, I have been officially pronounced a terrorist by the Indian government and my blog has been blocked. Now, my teachers had predicted this long time back so my family and friends were not very surprised.

Teacher: I tell you Mr. Dad your daughter is showing all signs of becoming an anti social element!!!
Dad: How can you say that based on one incident? She pulled that girl’s hair only 50 times!!! How can you be so biased???
Teacher (whispering): Look at her!!! She sits in front of the computer the whole day.

I am having severe withdrawal symptoms from not being able to read my favorite b***s. Yes dear reader, blog has become a four letter word now and hence forth I will stick to the word B. According to the Indian Government, all the crimes perpetrated in this world is because of B and all B’gers are criminals. Now you can add B'ger in your long list of cuss words.

Boss: Lick my boots clean if you want to keep your job cretin.
Employee:(muttering to himself): "You are a bloody B’ger!!!"
(loudly) Sure where do I start, from the heel or the toe boss?

Now my dear peoples you must all be wondering how a blog can help perpetrate terrorist acts?! Here’s how:

Terrorist: Baas the Indian intelligence people are everywhere. I am unable to even burst a fire cracker during Diwali *sob*
Boss: Koi bath nahin, write a blog!
Terrorist: How will it help baas?
Boss: When they are busy trying to decipher your post, we will sneak out and strike at will Ha Ha Ha Ha
Terrorist You are a genius baas!! What shall I write?
Boss: Write any nonsense you want ...who cares!

In the meantime our terrorist, like an obedient lackey goes and writes a blog at blogspot to fool the Inteligence Agencies into thinking that he is writing something intelligent.

Mere sapnon ke rani kab aayegi thu
Aaye ruth mastani kab ayegi thu
Beethi jaye zindgani kab ayegi thu
Chali aa thu chali aa.


He gets four comments:

IB said
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

RAW said
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

ISI said
Amazing post!

Anu Malik said
Nice song!

Terrorist: You are a genius bass!!! It works!
Boss: Jabse maine Blogspot apnaya, mera wazan bahuth kam ho gaya aur mein bahut successful ho gaya hun. Thank you Blogspot. Aap bhi aajma ke dekhiye naah!!

49 comments:

DD said...

The Anu Mailk comment was awesome :)
Maybe blogger.com will be able to get out a video advertisement of all terrorists swearing by blogger.com :)

silverine said...

DD: LOL good idea. Thanks for the first comment :) Airtel is yet to lift the ban!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!!! :-))

emmanuel said...

not upto your usual standards.....;)
the imagination is nice....anu malik comment deserves a credit.....be in nice mood and continue blogging......take care:)

lash said...

fitting reply (also cos this caused fits of laughter) You are a genius Baas. shimply suburb!


i read it twice and is planning to take a print out and show it to my mumbai neighbor who "incidentally" is with the ATS. he deserves this!

priya said...

it wasnt -banned-, it was blocked. now there is no block on blogs, it has been lifted.
and anyway, it didnt affect anyone very much, there were sites like inblogs.com and pkblogs.com and proxy sites that we could access blogspot blogs by.

mathew said...

Lol!!..sounds PJish though just like u said!!!..
neways it aint a nice story to feel happy about..B*****S deserve to feel frustrated!!!
But what I heard is that ISP's are to be blamed rather than Govt!!!

divyaa said...

even ur pj's are hilarious =))

good one gal, can't stop laughing. the boss joke was superb!!!!

Browser said...

IB and RAW are cool. Now if only they would arrest and torture all those cruel, ugly, dirty, !@#$% folks who visit Bs (both to write and read), the world would be a better place. Oh, think of all the dark secrets and confessions that would flow - Long live World PEACE.

Neil Padayatty said...

Novel protest, I say! I'm coming back to blogging with a vengeance after this! Visiting here after a long time... Still love the things you write!

Jiby said...

ente amme....ente amme...i am rolling on the floor here....i havent read anything so funny in ages....ur a genius!!!

Inder said...

ha.. ha.. poor government. it takes the blame for the mess created by the isps and few moronic government official who said all stupid things while responding to the blogers' queries...

Mind Curry said...

well it has been "lifted" by BSNL. its so idiotic to have blogs banned, when emails and IMs are all running. anyway..thats the way..ah ha :)

b*** is a four letter word..hmm..

iyer education said...

fulltoo dhammal man... i also read a blog that contains hindi lyrics and i suppose its a terrorist blog... the latest post reads a parody of the song from AMAR AKBAR ANTHONY


My name is LeT ACTIVIST...
Mein duniya mein akela hoon...
Ghar Bhi Hai Khaali...
Train Bhi Hai Khaali...


and so on and so forth... so plijj to be very very careful...

on second thoughts is he just misguiding everyone?

Jitesh said...

I am not really sure as to who needs to be blamed for the fiasco. I saw in today's "Hindu" a copy of the order issued by DoT, blocking certain websites. Some of them were hosted on blogger.com. But the order certainly doesnt speak about blocking blogger.com as a whole. I think the ISPs have gone overboard and done it.
But since it has become fashionable to blame the odd bureaucrat for all the mishappenings under the sun, this one also shouldnt be an exception.

silverine said...

Anon: Thanks :)

emmanuel: Thanks for the advice.

Lash: lol looks like you have an even bigger axe to grind. You do that and tell me about it if you survive :))

Priya: The block has just been lifted by my ISP!

Divyaa: Thanks gurl ;)

browser: lol you seem to be in a bad mood :))

Neil: Thank you and nice to see you back in action, go get 'em tiger!!!

Jiby: Thank you :p

Inder: And the plot thickens, we will never know what happened ;)

Mind Curry: It did rattle a few feathers.. I thought this was goodbye to blogging!

Iyer Education: That song was LOL stuff :))

Jitesh: I guess we will never know exactly what happened. Thanks for dropping by :)

naveen said...

nice 1 frm u!!!now tht they have lifted the ban 1 think!!!i wld b happy if they wld lift those idotic reservation system also!!
and silverine....wht r ur views on Zidane-mattarazi incident??wld luv 2 c ur review on it!!

Amitabha said...

The Anu Malik one was one of our bests for sure... :-))

Rockus said...

Holy B**g!

Immigrant in Canada said...

Karthave.. I can't stop laughing..

Alexis Leon said...

This is great. Simply superb and absolutely hilarious. Still ROFL

Maverick said...

:)))

right now im disturbing the peace around here with my laughing(all becuz of anti social elemets like u ;)).
nyway good to have u up and running lady :))

Hiren said...

Hillarious-nice to see it in a lighter vien. You should have written a song from the bloggers perspective ," Mera Jeevan kora Blog(Kaagaz),Kora hi rah gaya"

silverine said...

Naveen: Thank you :) Mebe I will do that reviw one day!

Amitabha: Thank you :) I think Bappi da missed the post :p

Rockus: Mind your language young man grrr :))

Sarah: lol thanks dear :)

Alexis: Thanks you!!!!

Maverick: Thank you , it is nice to be blogging again :)

Hiren: I just wrote from the bloggers perspective :p

hope and love said...

lol..!!
and txs for that tip sweetheart..
:))

b v n said...

silverine,you are the best! and this is the best one i've read....one hell of a b***er you are !

Anonymous said...

Silverine! You have always been on our list - RAW

RAW is fibbing. We had you on our list before they did - IB

We welcome you into our fold - ISI

anup.777 said...

Anup said:
Nice post ... :)

u b'ger ... ;)

Dreamer said...

Hehe.. nice reply for the ban sil.. The ISPs had to face it eventually..

Connor's Corner said...

It is really sad that the government would think of adopting this method to stop terrorism... everyone's entitled to our own view, and ironically doesn't the constitution support it???

Arti Honrao said...

Ek terrorist se doosre terrorist ko Salaam Namaste!!
Nice post as always :)



GBU
Arti

lazy leo said...

heh heh heh....nearly fell of my chair laughing!

silverine said...

HnL: You are welcome doc, anything to keep the blog pals syndicate ticking :)

Anon: You made me laugh so much with that comment, thank you!!!!

Anup.777: Thank you fellow b'ger :p

dreamer: Thanks buddy :)

Connor Connor: Well.. it was some blogs that were asked to be blocked but the ISP's blocked the entire blogspot or so the story goes.

Arti: Salaam Namaste to you too gurl :)

Lazy Leo : :p Thank you :)

Jazz By Jane said...

hahahaha! Salaam Namaste to this B*!!!

EspritNoir said...

hats off to you, once again...:)

anywayz, am running a quick poll on my site, (nothing fancy), and would like an the opinion of some of the regulars. please check it out, and lemme know what you think...

ps. you write way, way better than me:) so that was a huge compliment...:) and i mean that...

EspritNoir said...

silly me, forgot to add "thank you" at the end there...:)

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

heh heh heh ....
i liked the IB and RAW 's comments !

errr ... i keep seeing the very same comments on my blog too once in a while too ... so , does that mean that i'm an aspiring terrorist ?

hmmmmmmmmm ...

damn ! there comes my sys ad to make sure i ain't b*ing .... big bugger b*er !

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha
damn good one one...thank you, am laughing aloud on a Monday morn
:-))

@DD: rofl man!!!

verbaltorture said...

How do you write like this? I'm still ROTFL after 'Boss: Jabse maine Blogspot apnaya, mera wazan bahuth kam ho gaya aur mein bahut successful ho gaya hun. Thank you Blogspot. Aap bhi aajma ke dekhiye naah!!'

Sooper funny. Great post.

calvin said...

Ehahahahahaha..

Fleiger said...

Back after a loooong vacation... Great post once more, I missed commenting for last 2 months.

As for the post, this is one more surefire way to get your blog blocked (is that alliteration or something?), and get Interpol, CID and CIA knocking (on) your door. Beware young woman...

Fleiger said...

BTW, You have been tagged, check my blog for details. Not so sure if you have finished it, but if not, go ahead.

(And I am not able to install that new plugin for "listen to number blah blah" :( )

Johnny said...

Gr8 post. I was unable to post coz of the ban and hence a late commer.

silverine said...

verbal torture: Thank you :))

Aashik: :))

Fleiger: Welcome back O Great Eagle!!!! :) Yeah I have a lot of people knocking on my door besides crediters of course, who are more dangerous than CIA, ISI and the RAW put together :p

johnny: That makes you 'johnny come lately' :) Awaiting more of your hospital chronicles!

pophabhi said...

Anu Malik was awesome. LOL!

alex said...

Humorous...lol....keep up the imagination..

Inji Pennu said...

hahaha.. I liked the comments being deleted part! hahaha

silverine said...

pophabhi: :p

Alex: Thank you :)

Inji pennu: :))

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

ROTFL@putting hyperlink to blogspot

=====))))))