Heard this over the phone yesterday. My brother M was giving a recipe of some stuff he had cooked at his friend’s house that seems to be a big hit with all his friends.
"You have to take one chicken, I don’t know about the size, but it was as big as a loaf of bread. Weight? I have no idea. Ask for a big chicken. And then you take one onion and cut off its hair and tail. Then you slice it from head to toe and fry it in oil. I don’t remember how much oil I put in. But the radius of the circle of the oil in the pan was about 4 cm. The pan? Haven’t you seen the pan in Rajesh's house? The one from the antique museum! heh heh The same one. So you fry the onion in oil till it is the shade of umm yes…tea. Then you cut a few green chilies in the stomach...don’t cut till head and toe okay? Then you put chilli powder and turmeric powder on the chicken and leave it for two hours. Actually that should be done before frying onions. So you fry onions after your chicken has soaked for two hours. But before that you must wash the chicken. No, not after soaking….before that. Then you take the soaked chicken and put in the fried onion with the green chilies. Mix nicely and cover with a lid. After about five minutes you put in one teaspoon salt and some lime juice and cover again. Then you take out the lid and look. If you see water then you increase the gas and make it evaporate. Be careful not to evaporate the chicken okay? After water is gone chicken is ready. What do you mean it is confusing you $@#$%*& idiot!"
It wasn’t the narration but my Dad's pained look that made me rofl. By the end of the recipe conversation he was giving my mom "that" look. Which means “Is this my son? Are you sure? 100%? Lock kiya jaye??"
My mom’s look said "Yeah and throw away the key!”
Have a nice week folks!