So we are moving laptop locks, employee stock and barrel…to another building where it is hoped that we will shout, scream and talk at the top of our voices so that the genteel folks we leave behind may have some peace of mind to concentrate on bitching err work. Apparently the noise we used to generate led to several mis-communications like A who is seeing G, was heard as seeing T which is the same as far as we are concerned. But then we are the vermin of this company and our opinions do not count.
On Tuesday we were all told to report to this spanking new building, where another group of genteel people were seen gnashing their teeth and wailing “Why us God!!!” We ignored them of course. Vermin have no feelings. Pretty soon we were all assembled at the lobby waiting for Vijayan the protagonist of this post. Vijayan is our long suffering Facility Manager. I was the first person to step up to him when he came in.
Vijayan: What can I do for you?
Me: Any idea which side is Vailankanni Church?
Vijayan: hmm, that way I think.
Me: err what about Vatican?
Vijayan: ummm to that side I would say!
Me: Ahem…what about Mecca?
Vijayan: That way I suppose!
Me: errr Tirupati?
Vijayan: This side!
Me: Thank you! I will take that seat towards Tirupati. Religious reasons you know!
Vijayan: But…but aren’t you…
Next, it was the turn of Ranjeet Kapoor!
Ranjeet: Oye Vijayan! Which side is Bangkok heh heh
Vijayan (frostily): That way!
Ranjeet: What about that seat over there!
Vijayan: That faces a cemetery! :|
Ranjeet: I’ll take it! Spiritual reasons you see.
Next it was the turn of Venkat Subramaniam
Vijayan: Let me guess you want to know which side is Madurai Meenakshi temple right?
Venkat: No! I want to know if I can have that seat next to Ranjeet?
Vijayan (smirking): That faces the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Saints!
Venkat: Alleuia! I will take it.
Vijayan: Since when did you become a Mormon?
Venkat (hurrying off): Last offsite. Thanks and bye!
Ms Blah Blah is next.
Vijayan (Sarcastically): Let me guess, you want the seat facing a Church confessional.
Blah Blah: Which seat would that be?
Vijayan: The one next to Venkat.
Blah Blah: Thanks! I will take it. Vaastu reasons you see!
By the end of the day all 25 of us were seated on the far left corner of the building, diagonally opposite to the right corner of the building which is about 500 feet away from the cabin where the Boss sat. Nice. We did our high fives and felt pretty pleased with ourselves. In the evening when I was going home I overheard this conversation in the Boss’s cabin.
Boss: Vijayan, I was wondering if I could shift my cabin.
Vijayan: Sure Sir!! Which cabin do you want?
Boss: Any cabin facing a bunch of idiots?
Vijayan: *GRIN* But of course!!!
Boss: Thanks! I will take it. Feng Shui reasons you see!
It was a sad sad me that went home that day :(
p.s If any of my colleagues are reading this, please note that Monday movie stands canceled and Tuesday Biryani get together too. Wednesday Dart game is also canceled as well as Thursday Card game. Friday get together at Geoffreys is postponed to “after office” hours.
Have a nice week friends!