I have just been through a break up peoples. Now…now… hold the tissues and handkerchiefs dears. It is not what you think it is. It is a break up with a guy alright, but he is not my boyfriend. I am still single and unavailable like most Indian girls. So you might wonder what I am talking about right? Well let me explain with this chronological sequence of events….
(Girls on the other hand would have understood the post with the opening line itself and right now may be yawning and saying “lets go grab a coffee, nothing new here”)
Him (a colleague): Hi!
Him: Remember we met the other day. I was with Kevin!
Her: Oh yes!
Him: How you doing?
Him: See you around then!
Him: You had Coffee?
Him: I am going over to the cafeteria. Coming?
Her: Sure! Though I have to get back immediately with the coffee.
Him: Don’t see you around!
Her: Why? Did you need to speak to me?
Him: No! Just wondering where you were.
Her: Right here on my seat! (duh!)
Him: heh heh
Him: Hey did I say something
Him: I feel you are avoiding me!
Her: Why should I avoid you??
Him: Oh I felt like that!
Her: *gets back to work ignoring him*
Him: So where are “We” going this Friday!
Him: Yeah! Movie?
Her: No thanks!
Her: I have plans.
Him: Oh! Plans? You mean you have a date!
Her: I am meeting with friends.
Him: *phew* Yenjoy then!
Her (reaching for the phone): hmm thanks!
Him: Hi!! Movie this Friday!
Her: Because I don’t want to see a movie that’s why!
Her: No thanks!
Him: Then what do you want to do?
Her (shrugging): Nothing!
Him: Listen…if you don’t want to go out with me, then tell me clearly!
Her: I don’t want to go out with you.
Him: *hurt look*
Her: See you. I have a meeting.
Week Seven (first half)
Her: *groan* Hi!
Him: Listen, forget what happened last week and let’s make a fresh start!
Her: What happened last week?
Him: We had that little misunderstanding naah.
Him: See you in the evening for coffee then!
Her: No...I am going out for a meeting!
Week Seven (second half)
Him: Coming for coffee?
Her: No thanks!
Him: See!! You have not forgiven me!
Her: Forgiven you for what...for gods sake!
Him: Then let’s have coffee together!
Her: Not now I am busy.
Him: Ok! See ya in the evening then?
Her: I have no idea frankly what I will be doing then. Bye!
Her: Now what?
Him: Who was that guy with you at the cafeteria yesterday?
Him :11:26 am
Her: That must be Syed!
Him: hmmm you seeing him?
Her (annoyed): What’s wrong with you! He is one of our Product Managers!!!
Him (hurriedly): Sorry! Just kidding!
She walks away in a huff!
Week eight (Second half)
Her: *ignoring him*
Him: Listen I know things are not going well between us.
Her (eyebrows arched) : “Us”?????
Him: It’s because we don’t spend time together!
Him: We won’t be having these tiffs if we spent more time with each other…understand each other…
Her: Ente ammey! (OMG)
Him:…. get to know each other….and..
Her: Listen! I don’t want to know you or spend time with you…
Him: But why?
Her: What do you mean “but why”
Him: I am not going to restrict you in any way if you are concerned about that! I am a very modern guy who….
Her: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, *Jesus give me patience or I might clobber him* 6. 7. 8. 9. 10...
Week eight (last day)
Him (calling her extn): Hello!
He: Listen, if you are worried that I may not let you work after marriage…
She (biting back expletives): Marriage? OMG! What’s going on here! Listen you may have seen me here for some time, but that was as a summer Intern. I am not…
Him (cutting in): That’s okay if you too young for marriage. I can wait.
Her: Wait? You are going to wait for me? Aaarrrghhhhh *slams the phone down*
He (calling her again): What happened? You kept the phone down?
She (thinking quickly): Hey I would like to chat, but my boyfriend is waiting for me at the reception.
She (sweetly): Yes!
He: But you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend!
She: But why should I tell you I have a boyfriend?
He: But you should have told me!
She: But why? I don’t think I have to tell a colleague whether I have a BF or not!!
He: I feel like such a fool…
She: Why would you feel like a fool for accompanying me to the vending machine???
Him: Is that all it was “accompanying me to the vending machine?”
Him (injured tone): Bye!
Her friend to her: What boyfriend? You don't have a BF!
She: Necessity is the mother of invention dearie! ;)
That btw was my 567th “break up”. Next time I think I will say I am joining the convent. Or may I will say that I …..err hmm well...suggestions welcome!