Sunday, March 23, 2008

Easter wisdom

Happy Easter everyone!!!! And to those who don’t celebrate, wishing you a rocking Sunday!!! I am in good old Gods Own Country Bar and Liquor Shop a.k.a Kerala for Easter. The weather is fine, the men are not err I mean most of them above the age of 18 are in various stages of recovery from alcohol abuse after the midnight Easter Mass. Before I go in and help the ladies toiling in the kitchen I thought I will sneak in and wish every one. If I am caught at the lappie, this might be my last Easter according to my amma :(

Anyways…onto my narration. I have been a very bad girl this Easter :( And feeling so happy about it too *GRIN* And why? You didn’t ask but I will tell you anyways. There were quite a few people who dropped in home yesterday for the usual pre Easter mingling. A teenage cousin called up from Mumbai to wish his grand mom and grandpa and upon being told that they were our place called up our house. My brother M picked up the phone. Let’s call this cousin brother Roshan Jacob (actual name).

Roshan: Hello?
M: Hello?
Roshan: Achchachan? (grandpa)
M: Yes!
Roshan: Happy Easter in advance achchacha!!!!
M: Happy Easter mone! God Bless you!
Roshan: Thank you achchacha. So what are plans for Easter?
M: The usual. We are meeting up here for lunch. Your ammachi (grandmother) is making the payasam (kheer). What are you all doing?
Roshan: Everyone is meeting here for lunch. Sanjay and Bobby are down from Dubai and Neils from Singapore. They leave for Kerala on Monday. So I am going party hopping with them tomorrow night.
M: Good! Good! Party safe mone.
Roshan: Awww achchacha. This is Mumbai. It’s quite safe. Besides we are going to our friends houses!
Me: Endhalayum....be careful. Remember the old adage. “Man who fishes in another woman's well, often catches crab.”
Roshan: What!!!
M: So be very careful mone.
Roshan: *gasp* Where did you hear that achchacha!!
M: hmmm I think Sebastian sent this to me by email.
Roshan: That is just a joke achchacha!
M: Joke? I haven’t heard anything wiser in my life!!!! Hmmpphh!
Roshan: But achchacha...
M: If I had got this 50 years ago…err never mind. So tell me, will there be girls at the party?
Roshan: Yes!
M: hmmm remember son, “Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone”
Roshan: OMG!
M: Hummph don’t tell me you lost it already!!!
Roshan: No achchacha! I haven’t…I mean...
M: Good!! Remember the old saying “Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.”
Roshan: Achchacha please don’t take everything Sebastian sends literally. He…
M: What nonsense! I haven’t read anything this wise in years!!
Roshan (quickly): Rohan (younger bro) wants to wish you achchacha.
M: Wait! I haven’t finished yet! A young man like you will face many temptations in life. When you are faced with temptations, remember to say this small prayer “ It takes many a nail to make a crib but one screw to fill it." Amen!
Roshan: *very embarrassed silence*
M (continuing mercilessly): And will you be drinking?
Roshan: No achchacha! I am not yet 18!
M: Ha!! I know you will drink!! Rascal!!
Roshan (hurt): I swear achchacha I won't.
M: Remember the old saying when Satan tempts you, “Do not drink and park, accidents cause people."
Roshan: *squirm* Achchacha please delete mails sent by Seb.
M: Why??? And please speak up mone. I left my hearing aid at home.
Roshan: I SAID, SEB'S MAILS ARE USUALLY DOCTORED.PLEASE TAKE WITH A PINCH OF SALT!
M: Do you have a girl friend?
Roshan: NO!!
M: Good! This is not your age to be having girl friends. There is an old saying "man who lay woman on ground, do not get peace on earth"
Roshan: NO ACHCHACHA, IT IS "MAN WHO LAY WOMAN ON GROUND, GET PIECE ON EARTH" SEB SENT THE MAIL TO ME TOO.
M: Ah! Then you go through it well mone. It is something that every young man must read. I have taken a printout and put it up in the living room.
Roshan: What?? Aiyyyo! Achchacha. Please take it down!!
M: Why? It will be nice to show everyone when they come here tomorrow evening.
Roshan: *groan* I AM GIVING THE PHONE TO MUMMY!

Sound of whispering in the background while M gives the cordless to the real grandfather.

Roshans mom: Hello achcha?
Grandpa: Hello!
Roshans mom: Roshan says that you have stuck some e mail forward in the living room!
Grandpa: Yes I have. Why?
Roshans mom: Well Roshan says it is a joke and not worthy of putting up in the living room.
Grandpa: But it is a nice pencil sketch of Mother Mary made by a Brazilian artist.
Roshan's mom to Roshan: Your grandfather says it is some religious stuff!
Roshan mom to grandpa: Oh! Ok we will call you tomorrow then achcha.
Grandpa: Bye.

I have a feeling that M f#%$ed up a teenagers Easter this year! But what the heck! It was worth a laugh in the house....amongst the group of cousins. The elders...ahem don't know about this or M will be the main course for today’s Easter lunch.

And if you are wondering where I fit into all this…well…I sort of promised Rohan, when he called me frantically that I would sprint across to his Grandfathers house and tear down that non existent paper stuck on the wall ….for a small fee ;) After all this is the season of hope and joy and one mustn’t be too cruel to ones own flesh and blood no?

Have a nice week folks.

35 comments:

Pratish Menon said...

LOLOLOL!!!!! Happy Easter to you too :)

mathew said...

god gracious..a post that we deserved for easter!! awesome..:-)

Roshan might have gone "eggcentric" this easter!!

easter wishes and prayers!!

Adorable Pancreas said...

Happy Easter!

We should settle in some area where there are more Christians and Muslims in the neighbourhood. We got nothing for Id, and easter goes the same way. Ah, good ol' Kochi...

Deepti said...

Happy Easter Anjali... amazing post ... absolute laugh riot!!!

Safari Al said...

You seem to be a very very evil chechi!!!

I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of this chechi.

Poor Roshan!

ദീപു : sandeep said...

what happened to adding fuel to fire ???

philip said...

ROTFL!!
You and your brothers are pure evil ;)
Youve brought some cheer into my otherwise gloomy Easter day.

Amey said...

Good old God? For somebody eternal, He does show His age, doesn't He? ;)

I think your cousin is going around asking everybody if they know the password to grandpa's account, so he can delete those emails. Or probably, asking Seb to stop sending such emails to grandpa. And now grandpa will wonder why Seb doesn't send emails any more.

I am pretty sure M spoiled a lot more Easters than just Roshan's.

silverine said...

Prats: Thanks dude...nice to see you :)

Mathew: Thank you and wish you the same :)

AP: Thanks for the tip off..force of habit in using "me" :) And you are right about settling in areas where you get festival goodies. On Eid day we don't cook in the house :p

Deepti: Thank you girl :)

Saferi al: Well... he is a kiddo and hence easy to fool :p

Sandeep: That was a temp post to highlight an issue. It served its purpose so pulled it down.

Philip: Thank you :) Happy Easter or what is left of it :)

Amey: He is cursing Seb alright! lol! And M's pet victims and the kiddos, old men and ladies. The rest aren't too easy to fool :)

Mind Curry said...

hope you had a lovely Easter :) roshan too!

Safari Al said...

*silverine yet again nimbly side-steps an accusation levelled at her*


By the by, did you cook for Easter? Eggplant Whatsitsname and SomethingFunny Mousse?



P.S : Post more often, twiddling thumbs in office or doodling on paper is not very amusing. Please.

innocent bystander said...

hey what happened to that radio post?
am i missing something?

Amey said...

Who is cursing Seb? Good ol' God? Now that's just bad luck, won't you say?

And given his choice of victims, I take it that M is not particularly chivalrous?

Nishant Chandgotia said...

Hye..happy easter..Poor Roshan..how did he react when he found out

scorpiogenius said...

And well narrated as usual...

HAPPY EASTER!:)

Jiby said...

this was too good...if i could i would use all the superlatives in the world to describe this post. i love to rag my younger cousins and my kaaranavanmaar whenever i get a chance. your post has given me some new ideas...lol...hope i don't get thrown out of the family!

Happy Easter! A very different one for me this year...I was the target of everyone's jokes at our gathering...sometimes its nice to be at the recieving end too :).

Seb said...

@Jiby: Thank you Sir! ;-)

@anjkutts: Paavam perappan Can't stop laughing here...!!!

fundoome said...

ROFL

poor roshan.......will think man times before forwarding emails to his Achchacha :D

Fresh Lime Soda said...

Are you the synonym for laughter... it was too good way to go Laughing Gas Anjali

Dhanya said...

OMG your poor cousin.. M is really wicked n u too :P

ToOothlEss WOndeR! said...

Ah, so you were in there too.. that explains quite a lot. :)

Happy Easter to you: I know it's a little late, but wth, with a family like that, everyday must be just as good!

-Poison- said...

M oru prathibhaasam thanne! belated easter wishes!

Amooma said...

man, ur dangerous!!
so is M
sorry, the other way aorund

Neena Padayatty said...

Hope your relatives think twice before they ring you up on April 1!
Rib tickling post!

silverine said...

MC: Thank you!

safari Al: I ate mostly this easter :)

innocent bystander: Please see my reply to Sandeep!

Nishanth: He never found out!

Scorpiogenious: Thank you :)

Jiby: :)) Thank you!! Don't worry you wont be thrown out of the family. And you will have lots of fun! :)

Seb: :p

fundoome: :p

fresh lime soda: Thank you :)

Dhanya: Thank you ;)

TW: Thank you! Make hay while the sun shines they say! :))

Poison:Thank you :)

Neena: Actually in my house we dont wait for April 1 ;)

nostringsattached said...

hey that was really awesome...i couldn't stop laughing while reading...i was just imagining the scene...ha ha...lively writing...

Arun Jose Francis said...

Well, what to say! I had a great laugh!!! :-)

Blogbharti said...

Pingback from Blogbharti: [...] Silverine’s brother M decides to masquerade as his grandfather and slaughters a teenager’s Easter [...]

Alameen said...

eeswaraaaaaaaaa...........

ee comedy ningade rakthathil uLLaathaaNo :-)

Belated easter... My regards to 'M' too..

Easter always reminds me about a special journey

?bLeAk?!! said...

M is hilarious!!

well... just a continuation from the ungle and aundy who's car you guys crashed into and got out with his wits..

Anyway... poor Roshan..!

Preetha Nair said...

Lady!! how do you do this....with every post....

I bow to thee mam !!!!!!!

belated easter wishes :) :)

silverine said...

@all the late comenters: Thank you! :)

g-man said...

roflmfao!!!!!!!!

manisha said...

blated happy easter or rather advance happy easter....i wanna eat easter eggs now!! really..have never tasted them!!! *drools*

Ajith said...

I had been reading your blog for almost 2 days and after I saw this I couldn't control myself from posting a comment...

Great blog and a really funny post...