Change they say is inevitable except from a vending machine. So true!
Last week I went for an Interview. Yes peoples.. me is changing me job because I have reached a stage where I can come to office, pop a sleeping pill, finish the work in a slumber and then wake up all fresh and dewy at 6 pm and go home. In short…I needed a desperate change of bed er…scene.
So moiself hoisted my carcass from me comfy seat and went for an Interview. I was sick as a dog that is very sick and was hence was not in a very good mood like a dog that is very sick. Fortunately the Interview got over very fast. The last incumbent in this company left in a bit of hurry you see (he cleared the window in one dive I heard, since then they have put stronger attrition resistant glasses on the windows and doors.) So my interview was rather hurried, though very very thorough as befitting the HR practices of a big company.
Mr PP: So you married?
Me: No!
Mr PP: Boyfriend?
Me: No
Mr. PP: When can you join us?
After that exhausting and mentally draining interview, I had my second round with my to-be Boss.
Boss: I guess you have been briefed about the job.
Me: Yes!
Boss: I believe in people who work independently, take responsibilities, initiatives and can work unsupervised.
Me: Sure!
Boss: So what can you say to add value to your resume?
Me: I can work independently, take responsibilities, initiatives and can work unsupervised ?!
MK: Welcome aboard!!!
The last round, a formality was with the HR Manager.
HR: We are not any other company; we are a big name in the industry you know?
Me (muttering to myself) : Keep repeating that and you will generate enough hot hair to pack up the AC plant.
HR: Did you say something?
Me: Nopes
HR: The people working here are from premier Institutes and hence the intelligence quotient is very high.
Me: (muttering to myself) : So what are you doing here?
She (muttering to herself) :I know what you are thinking, so what am I doing here right? Chit of a girl bah!!! I hate your type and if I were 85 kgs lighter I would give you a run for your money.
Me: (muttering to myself) : If you were 85 kgs lighter you would still look like a pregnant Hippo.
Me (aloud) : Wow!!! I am impressed.
HR (aloud) : Thaaaank you… welcome to the organization, it is very nice to have you with us.
Me: The pleasure is all mine. (muttering to myself ) What a lot of bakras to write about, this is going to be a blogging gold mine yipeeeeee!!!!!
HR: Did you say something?
Me: No no, I am just wonderstruck at the possibilities in this company for me.
Her (tilting her head and smiling patronizingly and pinching my cheek) : Soooo sweeet. All the best deeeeeeear!
Me: (tilting my head and smiling equally patronizingly keeping my hands away from slapping her cheek) : Thaaank youu!
HR ( muttering under her breath) : Bitch!!!
Me: (muttering under my breath) : Bitch!!!!
And thus moiself sits in a new chair....... and I am feeling sleepy zzzzzzz
Good night folks...
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46 comments:
So congratulations are in order, I guess!..And moi first:-))
Congrats and hope this job is more challenging for you.
-kajan
congrats you! waiting to hear abt the bakras.
p.s. it was me who deleted the prev comment; for some stupid google/blogger reasons.. it had signed me in on another id (thanks to intermingling between google account & blogger id)
Congratulations :)
It was a nice read. But on a serious note, if I am asked in an interview that I have a GF or not, I would object to it. In what sense can it be relevant to the job?
I believe in people who work independently, take responsibilities, initiatives and can work unsupervised.
Generally, in HR speak, this means we don't have money to train you, we don't have enough time to train you and we don't have people to watch over you...
So, hows your new job??? Got the needed change of bed-scene? (That was *ahem*...)
Congrats btw... and best luck for your new job... may you go sleepless for days to come...
splendid..a great beginning with a wonderful first post since the last bed. may it last for you to write another hundred posts.
seriously..good luck :) reach for the stars! thats where you should be.
that was a good one...funny as always :)
Esvee: Special thanks for being the first :)
Kajan: Thanks and lets hope so :)
pratish: Planty of bakraas here ;)
truman: Nice to see you here and thank you. p.s do take my posts with a sack of salt :p
fleiger: the interview was routine they knew me I knew them etc etc. Hope the new bed hold lots of challenges ;)
mind curry: Thank you dear doc :) And stars is where I wish you will be too :)
{pssst my wishes always come true :)}
b v n: Thank you :)
We will drink (coffee) to that... (I am in mood for toasts currently, don't know why)
And that first line... the vending maching in our library has refused to give me my dimes for last 3-4 weeks *sob*
Looking forward to more posts with all those bakras working around you...
hey nice post......
hope u'll have a change of bed er...scene.
will u jump thru' the ventilators as u can't do it thru' the windows now??? ;)
you married?
no.
boyfriend?
no.
girlfriend?
WTF?
hope u'll have a nice job at ur hand and all the best wishes for the new job....
take care :)
Congrats on the new job ! I hope you have a good admin here
PREVIOUS POST
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YAUWP: You want to buy a camera? Why…you plan to ask the birds to say ‘cheese’? HA HA HA!! :
Why not ? Dont birds eat cheese ?
The post reminds me of ur unc's attempts in buying a PC :P
Two years ago...
Project Manager: So Hyde... why do you want to change jobs?
Hyde : Because my girlfriend wanted me to.
No, I did not say that. But I wish I did.
All the best!! But please don't go around scaring boss to death by coming on time or earlier :)
And that my dear is really a classic case of exhausting interview :) * shaabashi wala pat on ur back *
I am 15th.... I am 15th..... Phew!
Cheers for the change of bed,.... sorry scene...
Nice conversation! Liked it..... Pretty good greetings and sighs towards the end! ;-)
Congratulations for a new job!!! Changing on 9/11... Great... Silverine Airlines crashes into a new office building,, to doze off!!
Unnikrishnan G Nair.
new job, new dreams :)
hey congratulations
good job interviews :)
ps: interviewers usually ask silly ques, when they know u r right person already and hav nothing to ask.
Hey Congrats! looking fwd to a lot of action in your blog ;)
Even I hate HR, they just seem to hate everyone that works through their office :(
A new job eh? Congratulations are in order!
Congratulations. Hoping to hear a lot about the new bakras soon on ur blog. :)
you married?
no.
boyfriend?
no.
girlfriend?
WTF?
you blog ?
..ahem!!
congratulations on your new catch... awesome stuff i say to work with one of the "biggest" companies in the world...
and as far as sharing experiences WRT interviews are concerned all my interviews end up something like this
HR: You can join in... now here's the offer letter, please sign and give a copy back
Me: Thengew vairy much madam... can i have the STAMP PAD pulees?
HR: er... on the basis of some pre-prepared-pragmatic-policies, we cant offer you this... VERY SORRY
and everytime i wonder... WHAT WRONG DID I DO?
with u in work, i'm sure she'll lose 85 kilos in just one month :p. all the best! (yes u got it correct, the wish was for ur boss :p)
hmm.. back on track, best wishes for ur new job buddy!
all the best sweetheart..
:))
Hehehehe.. have a great sleep! :D
@Alexis: *HUGS*
"There is a great man who makes every man feel small. But the real great man is the man who makes every (wom)man feel great"
G. K. Chesterton
That quote dear Alexis I dedicate to you :)
Congratulations!
waiting to hear about new blog bakras now :)
inevitavble change :):)
wish ya good luck at your new job.. btw, when are you starting from?
Thank you everybody for the wishes! :)
Hahahaha...another wonderful post! The interview with the HR was the icing...i just cant stop laughing here...even i've done mental "mock"-ups of the final HR interview wondering what purpose it served other than giving those hr's some say in the interview process!
neways u just served to reinforce in us guys, the general impression that 2 women can never get along...hehe!!
lookin forward to lots more of good writing from you at the new workplace!
Absolutely hilarious dig at interviewers and HR :-)) Guess a lot of people missed the humor in this post, so I won't say 'congratulations'...here's wishing that you keep writing and making us smile as always...your blog is like a destress zone for a number of people :-)
Abhishek Mathew
p.s never told you this before, but you are absolutely my most favorite gal :-) And we have met, Chrysalis 2003, The Mormon Tableau, ring a bell?
i cant comment!!!! grrrr!!! trying using "other"...
hey congrats on new job!! time for PARTAAAAAAYYYY!!
Congrats :).
Congrats on the new bed - err...chair :)
Here's hoping you get lots of ops to work independently, take responsibilities, initiatives and work unsupervised - as u cheerfully promised ur new boss.
Best wishes on the job and enjoyed your funny post, as usual.
Though from now on, I guess you should be extra careful about being an anonymous blogger!! :)
just came across this blog. Awesome stuff.
What's with you mallus and that amazing sense of humor? Are you born with it or do you pick it up in school or something?
I am the latest in your list of readers. I would like to know how your first interview was :D.
Congrats on your new Job.
Cheers!
Rodent
hahaahaha!!
Way to go boss. Another job, another pill. The wonderful ways of life.
I hope your loving it though.
that was me btw :(
God damm this google for not letting me sign into my account.
Dr. Pissed
hmmm...change of job, eh? all the best for a long career.
You have this amazing quality of seeing the lighter side of everything :)
Smart and zippy. Just the kind of work that brings me back here everytime.
Congrats buddy on getting a new place to slog like u did before.!!Lol!!!
neways I ll sure send the interview transcript to ur boss some day if i get a chance!!
grinning!! :)
@everybody: Thank you so much for your wishes :)
Jiby: Hit the nail right on the head. The HR interview sucks...and they seem to know it :) Thanks for the wishes :)
dr pissed: ha ha I was wondering who "doctor" is :)) Change to beta man!
Praveen: *HUGS* That's for saying the right thing at the right post :)
naresh: Coming from you that is big compliment indeed :)Thanks!!!
mathew: You said it, another place to slog lol
That was a good read. :-) You sure she is did not read this? :-)))
Jo: Ah! The joys of bloging under a pen name...indescribable :))
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