Change they say is inevitable except from a vending machine. So true!
Last week I went for an Interview. Yes peoples.. me is changing me job because I have reached a stage where I can come to office, pop a sleeping pill, finish the work in a slumber and then wake up all fresh and dewy at 6 pm and go home. In short…I needed a desperate change of bed er…scene.
So moiself hoisted my carcass from me comfy seat and went for an Interview. I was sick as a dog that is very sick and was hence was not in a very good mood like a dog that is very sick. Fortunately the Interview got over very fast. The last incumbent in this company left in a bit of hurry you see (he cleared the window in one dive I heard, since then they have put stronger attrition resistant glasses on the windows and doors.) So my interview was rather hurried, though very very thorough as befitting the HR practices of a big company.
Mr PP: So you married?
Mr PP: Boyfriend?
Mr. PP: When can you join us?
After that exhausting and mentally draining interview, I had my second round with my to-be Boss.
Boss: I guess you have been briefed about the job.
Boss: I believe in people who work independently, take responsibilities, initiatives and can work unsupervised.
Boss: So what can you say to add value to your resume?
Me: I can work independently, take responsibilities, initiatives and can work unsupervised ?!
MK: Welcome aboard!!!
The last round, a formality was with the HR Manager.
HR: We are not any other company; we are a big name in the industry you know?
Me (muttering to myself) : Keep repeating that and you will generate enough hot hair to pack up the AC plant.
HR: Did you say something?
HR: The people working here are from premier Institutes and hence the intelligence quotient is very high.
Me: (muttering to myself) : So what are you doing here?
She (muttering to herself) :I know what you are thinking, so what am I doing here right? Chit of a girl bah!!! I hate your type and if I were 85 kgs lighter I would give you a run for your money.
Me: (muttering to myself) : If you were 85 kgs lighter you would still look like a pregnant Hippo.
Me (aloud) : Wow!!! I am impressed.
HR (aloud) : Thaaaank you… welcome to the organization, it is very nice to have you with us.
Me: The pleasure is all mine. (muttering to myself ) What a lot of bakras to write about, this is going to be a blogging gold mine yipeeeeee!!!!!
HR: Did you say something?
Me: No no, I am just wonderstruck at the possibilities in this company for me.
Her (tilting her head and smiling patronizingly and pinching my cheek) : Soooo sweeet. All the best deeeeeeear!
Me: (tilting my head and smiling equally patronizingly keeping my hands away from slapping her cheek) : Thaaank youu!
HR ( muttering under her breath) : Bitch!!!
Me: (muttering under my breath) : Bitch!!!!
And thus moiself sits in a new chair....... and I am feeling sleepy zzzzzzz
Good night folks...