Sunday, September 24, 2006

Feeling the heat

Yesterday a friend and ex colleague wrote to me.

Hi,

I have just joined my new place of work. I am having fun ROTFL!!

AA

I was quite concerned by this mail. Now... AA is not prone to laughter or smiles. He is a pucca North Indian kinda guy who minds his own business and sometimes comes to office too. While we are all rolling in laughter at the punch line of some joke, AA looks like someone has just informed him of his Dad’s death. The last time he smiled was when he was stricken with a facial muscle spasm and thus could not help having a lop sided smile on his face for some time. So you will appreciate my concern and alarm for his well-being after getting the mail. Yesterday I chatted with AA over Google Talk to get to the bottom of the laughter mystery.

Me: Hi!!!!!
AA: Hiiiii! Oops
Me: What happened?!?!
AA: The curtain just caught fire *giggle*
Me: Oh my God, go and put it out.
AA: Nopes, it’s too late tra la la la la
Me: How did it happen man?
Me: I breathe fire when I open my mouth you see tee hee
Me: ha ha very funny, seriously tell me what happened.
AA: Forget it.I don’t want to burn down the house tara rum pum pum
Me: Ok, looks like you are a bit stressed, get yourself a cup of coffee and we will talk.
AA: Can’t...
Me: Why?
AA: Power cut...the fans not working.
Me: So?
AA: The coffee will boil if the fan is not switched on.
Me: What???? Ok get yourself a beer then.
AA: Can’t...
Me: Why???
AA: It will scald my tongue.
Me: heh heh funny fellow. I will wait, get yourself a beer and we will talk.
AA: Naah! If I remove the beer from the freezer it will boil and scald my tongue.
Me: Ok Ok I get the hint, looks like your new place of work is warm, but it can’t be that bad????
AA:
*maniacal laughter* Of course it is a little warm, if it were a little more warm like 0.05 degrees more, then I could gather the computer in a bucket and flush it down the toilet.
Me: Oh my God!!!!
AA: I am sitting in a bath tub and chatting with you, you know?
Me: Wow you are having your annual bath? Heh heh
AA: *demented laughter* Verrrry funny but “No!!!!!’, this is what newcomers do here to prevent spontaneous human combustion.
Me: hmm
AA: At work we have showers over our cubicle you know?
Me: That must be to make sure you don’t doze off after lunch ha ha ha
AA: *manic giggle* No, that is to ensure that random fires that break out like when you shake hands or sneeze or brush against another person can be put out quickly.
Me: You are exaggerating right?
AA: *more maniacal laughter* yes my dear I am exaggerating, I am sitting in a bath tub chatting and my arse just got scalded because the water is beginning to heat up and you say I am exaggerating Ahahahaha ...*sniff* I have become very thin too, haven’t eaten since I came here.
Me: How come?
AA: By the time I get hold of the spoon the heat burns the food *manic guffaw*
Me: Take a nice dip in the swimming pool, it will cool your head.
AA: Can’t…
Me: Why?
AA: The water is boiling ha ha ha ha *sob*
Me: hmmm tell you what, you call up a travel agent and book yourself a holiday in Ooty or Kodai!
AA: Can’t..
Me: Why???
AA: Cause the phone melted and dripped away before I could catch it in a mug *LOUD DEMENTED LAUGHTER *
Me: hmm sounds tough man…where are you? Saudi Arabia or Kuwait.
AA: No...I am in a place called Trivandrum …
Me: OH MY GOD!!!! err…I mean I gotta go…sorry can’t help you here… bye bye
AA: Nooooooo don’t go away, helllllp, stay with me, talk with me, don’t leave me *bawwl*

I know when I am beaten. After all there is only so much I can do. If any of you Trivandrumites see a fully ablaze man sitting at the table next to you in a restaurant or at the movies or while shopping at the vegetable market you know who it is. Do say ‘Hi’ to him on my behalf. Err… avoid shaking hands with him.

( This post is dedicated to my wonderful friend and colleague AA, fast being reduced to a puddle of woes somewhere in Thiruananthapuram. Have fun man!! p.s. did I tell you that the weather in Bangalore is to die for?)

56 comments:

Janus said...

ha ha ha :D never been to Trivandrum..but will definitely arm myself with the requisite survival gear if I do !

Maverick said...

i have been in trivandrum for the past 25 years.yet to notice anythin funny about the climate around here. so if u can arrange a meeting with this eskimo friend of urs might as well share a laugh.. sheesh how can u say such things about such a nice place..:O.. sob sob....

Anonymous said...

This wuz hilarious silverine!!!!

Mind Curry said...

lol..i am sure AA is going to get burnt one way or the other in Trivandrum..if not the heat, atleast by the people. good luck to him.

Mohit said...

God made India hot. And then for fun... He made us Indians hairy.

Spontaneous Human Combustion. Rotflmao... btw there is a concept like that actually.. dig up uncyclopedia. :P

and yeah... like your blog... have been reading it since some time now..

Maya Cassis said...

hahahah ok that is one less place to go to in the future :))
hope AA makes it outta the bathtub safe and sound

Rockus said...

Actually now its quite cold out here miss... :D
God save your friend in the summer...

silverine said...

Janus: You could smear yourself with Tandoori masala when in TVM. So if you are hungry you just need to take a bite off your arm or leg...it will be well done, give yourself ten minutes more in the winter months :))

maverick: You are a resident, he is not!

Anon: Thank you :)

mind curry: I know what you mean :p

mohit: " God made India hot. And then for fun... He made us Indians hairy." lol so true, God has a sense of humor :))

maya cassis: I know quite a few peopl who have got burnt out there :p

Rockus: Cold? OMG !!!! I dread to think of summer then!

Anonymous said...

"You could smear yourself with Tandoori masala when in TVM. So if you are hungry you just need to take a bite off your arm or leg"...jeez, talk about an inventive mind!!!

- GT

Anonymous said...

I am not a resident of TVM but go very frequently for official reasons.........Yeah,I agree it's humid..but then,I never had any problems with the weather....Rather I find the place far less polluted than bangalore...

silverine said...

GT: Good idea aint it? :p Why aren't you signing in with your blogger account?

Anon: You don't have to defend TVM, it is quite obvious you are doing that in the guise of a comment :) I guess you may know by now that I write most of my posts in a humorous vein, so please take this post as such.

Nirwa said...

ROFL ROFL ROFL!!

I pity your friend!! And did I read anywhere about Bangalore weather being awesome? I am so jealous now! Ahmedabad weather sucks!! It's hot most of hte year and we have a blink and you miss winter! :P

Janus said...

I see that you took the "arm" bit quite literally ! :D

Alexis Leon said...

ROFL, that was a nice one. God help poor AA. And God help me. My nephew thinks that I have gone mad :-)

Fleiger said...

Heat wave there or is it normal? Either way, I wouldn't want to be there right now (I start melting the second I step out in Mumbai)

And his first few sentences made me think that he is in laughing spirit because of overindulgence in (some other kinds of) spirits... Does heat have that effect on brain? Interesting....

Kusum said...

LOL!!! ROTFL!!

You could smear yourself with Tandoori masala when in TVM. So if you are hungry you just need to take a bite off your arm or leg...it will be well done, give yourself ten minutes more in the winter months :))

And AA's laughing and sobbing reminds me of JD Asthana in Munnabhai MBBS :D

Jiby said...

i am really offended...u choose to turn on my dear city this time...but yeah i gotta admit its hard not to laugh when u write!

but i really need to get back at u...and here it comes...goin to tvm after delhi was heavenly...or to state it another way felt like goin from blore to pune for me! oooh did that hurt??

poor guy...its real hard to deal with kerala's humidity...and i am surprised the dude hasnt complained about cooking in coconut oil yet!

If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...

hey...i havent been here in soo long...but i'm back and im busy reading all the stuff i've missed!!! hehe...liked cake + vanilla. my mum is just the same!

Rockus said...

Hope he is not in my company!
we trainees are switching off the AC at every opportunity!

Divya said...

Er....its been raining here in trivandrum, continuosly for about 24+ hrs now! roads r near flooded and its a declared holiday tomm!!

Ur friend intends to be here during april-may?! :-s
:D

Kurur said...

The comments made about my home-town Trivandrum is mere propaganda. Trivandrum has a decent climate throughout the year. It doesnt rain as much as the rest of Kerala and isnt as humid as other coastal cities by virtue of being the City of Seven Hills. Trivandrum is the best place on earth!! :-D

silverine said...

nirwa: Thanks dear :)
brr girl I hear the Amdavadi weather is worse :(

Janus: No I didn't..that was a sincere advice ;)

Alexis: God help ME after reading your post...I have been laughing non stop!!! :))))

fleiger: For people coming from outside the heat feels terrible. Me too have a problem with heat, I start melting in Bangalore summers :p

kusum: he he just imagining our fair northie colleague totally red faced and burnt out is creating quite a chuckle in the office :p

Jiby: *OUCH* That hurt!!!!! :((
:)
We are not even gonna ask him about the food part, he is such a grumbler :p

if I tell ya girl: Hey welcome back sistah!!!! Your presence in blogosphere was sorely missed :)

rockus: lol I hope so too :)) Even here we have the A/C tug of war...and it can get quite nasty!

divya: He is been in Trivandrum since summer, but I got to talk to him only the other day :)

kurur: I have cut and pasted this comment and have sent it to him, hope it will make him feel better..but if I were you I would watch your back in TVM :p

Fleiger said...

Wow, luckily on our trip to Trivendrum, we were there only for a day... I still remember the towels I carried around. I attributed that to the fact that our hotel rooms did not have a properly working fan, but now I know better.

Kautilya said...

ROTFLMAO...

I had a similar experience on a vacation to chennai!

Originally it was a week long family vacation in the month of december... But I packed my royale arse out of chennai in just 2 days.. that it! 2 days!

All u can do is sit naked... in a bath tub filled with water... what r u gonna do after that.. its still hot! damn!

Bangalore climate is yummy... I am comin home soon!

Sanjay said...

I have 2 tickets from Mumbai to Trivandrum. Please let me know if anyone wants them. I want 2 tickets to goa in exchange.

Please help!!!!

shruti said...

he he ...heat syndrome ...brings back nightmaric memories of my travels(sales stint) in agra in 39 degree celcius doin retailing 9-9 in the sun ..extremes are always bad ...
shruti

Suji said...

You could probably melt in Trivandrum but you can't burn. There is so much sweat that it would be impossible. ;) But compared to North Indian extremes, the climate in Trivandrum is heveanly.

Praveen said...

hopefully the roads are better and you dont have to spent 3 hours traveling to work in trvm, unlike in bangalore :), so i guess the heat is still ok ;)

G said...

May I please have some of whatever it is AA is smoking?

silverine said...

Fleiger: Before we to to TVM, the first thing everyone packs is towels :))

kautilya: LOL that is exactly what is happening with AA :))

sanjay: LOL best of luck!!!!

shruthi: I have heard about the famous Agra heat!!!

suji: I found the TVM heat hot and burning!

praveen: Give me bad roads and Bangalore anyday!!! :)

G: ROFL

Fleiger said...

True, one or two clothes less would not hurt. You can trade towels for clothes. Will keep in mind when I am next there. BTW, is it standard for Kerala? (I would think so, given location, right?)

Inder said...

haha... poor AA.
i think i won't have such problems. i have survived in madras.

Anand K said...

Voho.... ee gochu gochu chellakkilikalum nammade nalla Thiruvanathoram naadine ittu chirayunno? Thalle, kalippu situashion thanne!

Ee paranja Banglooru pulikuttan citiyil yevadeya egjaktly aasanasthanayirikkunnathu? Lavanu ividem pidikkunnille alle.... choodu aarunnille? Paaavam.... ellam sheriyakkikodukkam, Sheriyakkikodukkam. Avane onnu thanuppikkanam.... athre ollu? Karamanayaarinte agaatha aazhangalil nalla fasht klassu thanuppukalanu ketto.... nalla swayamban vaater cooled AC effect!

Pinne blogoshpeeril ee sideuvaaram yeni panitha Malabarukaari Chellakkillikku nammal Thiruvanathorathe Payalukal vechittondu.

Parkalaaaaaaam... parkalaaaam.
Ninne nammal edutholam.


MUHUHUHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
:P

silverine said...

Fleiger: No it is not standard, places away from the sea is not so hot like central Kerala. But towels are a must :))

inder: Then you will survive even on the sun :))

anand k: ROFL
*silverine is officially in hiding till further notice and AA is suddenly feeling very cool*
:p

Asterix said...

:) One would think that all those Kerala massages (erotic or otherwise) would keep the heat at bay.

Or would it increase it? Hmmm....

b v n said...

Been to Trivandrum a few times :),its like the most pleasant place i've been.your pal must be located near the All Saints college area - that place is 'HOT'.Then miami is pretty humid but its better than whole of US any given day.Bangalore has got some nice weather - but you dont have a beach to enjoy that - though you have lot of dust,some dirty lakes and amazing traffic congestion:))
*forgive me BLR*

mathew said...

grr!!!

trivandrum isthyle...sthalle kalips..

Me a trivandrumite for 20 years..Am feeling the heat after reading this!! :)

iyer education said...

this friend of yours is even more pakaoo than me... god is unfair :(

Fleiger said...

Here's an idea. Why don't I follow people in Konkan area on this. A long white towel can always double up as mundu ;)

Fleiger said...

Why am I seeing all your posts from both blogs at the top of my unread list? Did you change the feed or something yesterday, or is it just Google Reader has found another way of messing with me?

silverine said...

asterix: I wouldn't know ;)

b v n: Tvm will soon catch up with our dirty lakes, dust and amazing traffic congestion :p

mathew: lol, you a tvm'ite feeling the heat? AA has sure has got a lot of Tvm'ites hot under the collar...see Anand's bheeshni :))

iyer education: He is fully pako'ed alright :))

fleiger: I haven't republished the post or changed anything.I think it is your Google Reader. The towel for a mundu is a good idea :)

Thanu said...

Too funny..

I can not believe that ppl are taking this literally and rebutting with praises of tvm.

Fleiger said...

Not my idea, but thanks all the same ;)

shaastra said...

who's this eskimo dude?

silverine said...

Thanu: Thanks dear ;)

fleiger: You are welcome :)

shaastra: Who are you?

blah_blah_blogger said...

Lived in TVM for a year and can tell you that it's not that bad and even if it gets bad, Kovalam is just 45 mins away...

White Forest said...

lolz...funny!

hope and love said...

ha.. ha.. ha..!
:))
you adorable girl.. ur sense of humor is simply fantastic..!!
but i really wonder y AA was so upset.. the heat here is not so bad..

?bLeAk?!! said...

:(
me frm trivandrum...

and now in blore..
never could see the diff in climates....
except maybe the humidity...

silverine said...

White forest: Thank you :)

bleak, Hnl and blah blah blogger: He comes from a cold place up North :)

DD said...

How dare u insult my home town! Grrrr *trying hard to ctrl laughter after reading the post*

Bangalore was so nice...the gardens (the dust covered flowers, with all those coochie-cooing couples doing unmentionable stuff in their midst) and roads (uh-oh, sorry, u dont have any of them over there anymore do ya?) and evenings of peace and quiet (if you discount the blaring horns and find a place whr u cn stand for more than a minute without someone stamping on your toe) and, and...ahh forget it! Thts enough of 'revenge' :)
But yeah, kick-ass climate!

silverine said...

Deepak: *ouch* that was enough revenge!!! :))

Rodent said...

Trivandrum isn't that bad!

silverine said...

Rodent: This post is not about Trivandrum.

Jo said...

Was he talking about the summer in Trivandrum? Because its not that hot (not even worthy of his exaggeration) in TVM right now coz I work there and I know how it is.

I just wonder the same as Maverick. Is he an eskimo?? Because even in Bangalore, I was actually dying when I went out in the summer.

silverine said...

Jo: I have just described the way a guy not used to heat would describe it :) Like I told someone earlier, please take my posts with a sack of salt :))