Sunday, January 08, 2006

One for the road!

Dear Bengalureans!

Namaskara! I am Doddappa. Senior Driver BMTC. I am working in BMTC for past several days and hence the promotion as Senior Driver. (I would have been a Class I driver but for the blindness in one eye and color blindness in the other)

First of all, you pedestrians should realize that I love each one of you like just like my own brother or sister. Not that I don’t have any of my own, but then "the customer is always right yadda yadda" and I have to make the right noises according to the management this year....and I am not talking of the bus horn.

My bus is named Road King. I love driving. But I hate the people who come under my wheels. It is kinda uncool to have your tyres dirtied so often you know. So people, please try and keep out of the roads and if you must venture out, do it in a BMTC.

To drive home this point we drivers have adopted a new motto this year.

The safest place in Bangalore is INSIDE a BMTC bus”.

On this auspicious occasion I have New Year message for all you lovely people of Bengaluru.

My first message is for you pesky...er young and bright bike riders. The road is for the big boys period. Think of your mom, sister, wife and other female relations when you decide to step on the road. Won’t they miss the chance to cook and feed you and keep your home, wash your clothes etc etc etc (and whatever else it is that women do) when you are dead? Therefore keeping them in consideration, hop on my jolly jalopy and enjoy the ride. Do us a favor. Lose the bike.

My next message is for all you irritating...well I meant well heeled four wheeler drivers. The road is not for woosies, period. Think of the size of my four wheeler.Then think of the size and EMI of your four wheeler. Then think of dealing with our Traffic Cops when you get your Merc dented! Then think of that nice garage you have at home. Then think of your car parked safely in the garage! Hope you are getting the big picture here....

Third message goes out to our tempo drivers, lorry driver etc."You scratch my back I will mangle yours right back tee hee."

Fourth and final message goes out to our dear Auto Rickshaw Drivers." F%&@ you all !!!"

I end my message wishing all pedestrians......I mean Bengalureans "Hosa Varshada Shubhaashayagalu!

Translated into English it means "Happily New Year!"

Please remember, “The safest place in Bangalore is INSIDE a BMTC bus”. Kapiche?

Your's very sincerely,

Doddappa

54 comments:

Sangeetha said...

Yeah, Blore roads are no longer safe. But BMTC does some justice by taking ppl around. Actually, I loved travelling by BMTC buses when I used to live in Blore.

JamesBright said...

Are they not worried about the potholes at all?

Hyde said...

When I was riding in Bangalore last week, I felt so much at home. The BMTC buses are just like our MTC buses. So very friendly!

>|' ; '| said...

let the bmtc guy be wary of the real KSRTC monsters (kerala state, not karnataka >:) ) !!!

the ksrtc drivers are the the zenith of automotive arrogance. one of my friends who study in kanyakumari always chooses ksrtc over the tamil nadu buses cos he reaches home some 45 minutes earlier.

and these yellow bus drivers are also pretty impatient and downright stupid. last month i was stuck in a huge traffic block thanks to our dear president apj abdul kalam. the whole line of vehicles was stuck for about 30 minutes.some drivers had even gone out for snacks etc.

the funny thing is, for the whole of those 30 minutes, one lightning fast bus of ksrtc which was stuck in the jam was honking very vigorously. he must have gotten a kick on thinking(wrongly, of course) that his honking was the cause of the jam finally getting cleared.

Rockus said...

Yup! Our KSRTC Rulz!!! And the musical horns...they take you to a transcendal bliss :-P
Funny post as usual! :-D

Alexis Leon said...

It's the same everywhere--Madras, Bombay, Kerala, and so on. If you are not on an armored vehicle, then it is better to leave your vehicle at home, that is if you want your vehicle to remain in good condition. Nice one… Puttanna, Ranganna, Doddappa…, where do you get all these names?

hope and love said...

:))
nothing can be as bad as the KSRTC busses..
:0

Mind Curry said...

did you hear about the plan to make all the BMTC buses wi-fi enabled so that more people commute on them? i have been in bangalore for the last four years, and despite all the bangalore-bashing going on in the media, i just love the place and its like my second home.

One More Reason said...

This post reminded me of a KSRTC bus driver. Every summer vacation as kids we used to go to Munnar. There was this "Fast Passenger" bus that we liked taking. The driver was fondly called "Flight Mathai". The bus literally used to fly. The hair pin bends were a piece of cake. All the passengers would hold on to dear life. I used to enjoy the thrill! We used to reach Munnar in record breaking and neck breaking time!!!!

scorpigle said...

yup dropping by after a long time abd the freshness seems to be same as ever. kudos! :)

Lost in trance... said...

:) i was in a crappy mood n this one brought me a smile....yeah show em some attitood!

silverine said...

@sangeetha:BMTC does take you from Point A to Point B with absolute safety guaranteed unless the bus is hit by a train!
@dreamslittle: Potholes? Those supersize tryes can ride over meteor craters with relative ease!!
@Hyde: Oh, yes nothing beats the friendly service ;)
@poison: We all have our own poison that we must drink. You have your KeSRTC we have our KSRTC and BMTC (within city) all of them killers in their own right! And kudos to that driver who actually honked away that trafic jam LOL. Check this out!
@Rockus: At least they use the horn. Our charlies don't believe in unnecesarilly taxing the horn :))

silverine said...

@Alexis: ROFL on the armored vehicle bit! Yes, only an armored vehicle will survive on our roads. And these names are well researched before they are used :))
@HnL:It is surprising how united we Indians are when it comes to our views on Cricket, our State Transport Buses and Politicians :))
@mindcurry: They are already GPS tracked, but I was told that Doddappa and friends know how to disconnect the Vehicle Tracking System (VTS);)
@onemorereason: "Flight Mathai" sounds like superman. lol Am glad you lived to comment on my blog. He sounds awfully like a clone of my brother M :))
@Scorpigle: Nice to see you. Check out the link I left in your blog.
@lostintrance: It is always nice to see your short but pithy comments. Glad I was able to make you smile.Check this out! A hilarious spoof on Mahabharatha by a gal blogger.

Browser said...

You want your thrills at a cheap price - the first row of a KSRTC bus gives it. No roller coaster in the world can equal it.....

Geo said...

Ha ha...
Poor BMTC bus drivers ... :_)
If u drive in this maddening traffic day in and day out... can we expect something better?

anthony said...

Someone once told me a driver is aloowed to bump to Persons.. Is it every year or over his lifetime?

calvin said...

I Agree to all those who support KSRTC. It is the best. No amount of parasailing/paragliding/bungee jumping wind surfing or any of those adventure sports gives you the thrill that our old KSRTC buses can. A ride to any of the hilly areas in kerala on a KSRTC bus is the best anyone can have by way of adventure. On flat , wide roads , they manage to drive safely , sticking to the right side of the road , so oncoming poor idiots will be scared to death. But those buses servicing city routes in Thiruvananthapuram are blemishes KSRTCs reputation. They almost always obey the rules. So the KSRTC bought a bunch of brand new buses called them Ananthpuri Fasts and recruited some of the best (worst ?) psychopaths in Kerala to scare the shit out of us bike riders and car drivers...I have been on BMTC , but they are lambs compared to KSRTC.

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

Heh hhe heh ...

read 2 posts together .. the camera one and this ...

how i wish u could have written this in the bus drivers' Kannada ... i would really have a laugh ...

He might start with " Sahabre ..... "
i think thru-out India , bus drivers can really be monsters !!

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

in BLR , i gen avoid taking a 2 wheeler ... am i being scared here ???
i dont know .. i prefer walking along the farthest edge of the footpath ... way away from the road and in narrow bylanes ...

Ammo said...

SCARY

Anonymous said...

If everybody had enough sense to take the footpaths(when ever there was one)and 10 years of driving the same old Ashok Leyland and Tata 1610 or whatever 10,who is to blame ????

D3

Anonymous said...

Everbody implies - pedestrains & wheelers following lane discipline wherever and whenever possible.
-----------------
On a diff note
i would love to see a post abt types of anons leaving comments.
I bet you can categorize them.
Or is there already a post ??????
lemme know

D3

lash said...

dear Dodappa.... that was a mind boggling new year treat!!!

Praveen said...

This is sarcasm at its best :), great post!

silverine said...

@browser:Now I am beginning to get curious about the famed KSRTC drivers of Kerala!
@Geo:Et tu brutus? You have just stabbed all Bangaloreans!! :)
@Anthony: Doddappa thinks it is every week.
@Aashik: lol on that comment. I hereby nominate KSRTC drivers as more deadly that our BMTC fellahs. Suddenly I am proud of Doddappa and gang LOL :))
@Deepa: I would have done a Kannada version if anyone would understand :)) You are doing the right thing by keeping well away from the road. But you need to cross the road sometime :(
@Ammo: Yes. it is definitely scary.
@D3: Pedestrians need to cross the road too. They too have right of way!I didn't understand the first part of your second comment.And 'NO' I won't blog on anonymous commentors.
@Praveen: It's takes a fellow sufferer to understand another. Thanks :)

flaash said...

Namaskara Dodappa!

Am a big fan of urs since the time u used me and my bike to play golf and left me in one of the hi tech potholes in this hi tech city.. You are the man who made me abandon the relic KB 125 and made me pay hefty EMIs to buy a four wheeler and take it to office everyday....DESPITE 50 bucks on fuel everyday, and all the extra hydrocarbons relesed to the Ozone layer!!(how many beers could it buy in a month??sob sob )While i skirt the potholes of 80 feet road with the nimblemness of a ballet dancer ; dodappa i remember u !!

U really made me look upwardly mobile

Dont know if you guys have a retirement age; but mebbe at 85 (im sure u'll live long; u made a lot of people 'meet thy maker' -HE will be obliged) u'll be a pedestrian...May another BMTC driver play golf with u then...

"Hosa Varshada Shubhaashayagalu!”

Manaigai hogabeku-Take that too now thts all the kannada i know; though im pickin up fast

flaash



(the Heading is kind of familiar...now where hav i seen it..????hmm hmm)

Sujit said...

It has been a long time traveeling on bmtc. Was traveeling when it was btc for 3 hrs a day from airport road to yellahanka..!!. it was okey sort!! and it was dangerous then and so it is now!.. On a average they are mainintg their standards!!.. or being as dangerous as they can..

jay menon said...

I knewwwww tht u r goin around with someone anju....now i found out who it is ;0 doddappa and u make a great pair, dodda alliyan....nice name. nyway ive nevr ventured BMTC till now, now i shud try it, happy new yearlu dear....

jay menon said...

nd i completly agree with the statement given for auto wallas in blre....they need to be f(&(*&(&(d left and right and top and bottom, never seen such jerks whole of my life

silverine said...

@flaash: A message from Doddappa to Flaash.

Dear Flaash,
"I am deeply touched by your comment.Since I am blind in one eye and color blind in the other it becomes very difficult to spot the colorful cars especially Red Santros.Hence my heartfelt request to stay of the roads *sniff*.

And big boys don't drink beer *sneer* They drink premium arrack! Do join me for a drink tomorrow at 6:30 am at Raja's Bar Madiwala. The drinks on me, just to show you that I harbor no grudge against you "upwardly mobile" car wallahs.

I have stopped playing Golf now, as with all the potholes it has become too easy. No challenge you know? So know I play crush a car. More fun and I don't get a scratch tee hee. I especially like Santros.

Well.. we do not have any specific retirement age you know. When we are unable to sit at the wheel without nodding off for more than half an hour then we sort of hand over the wheels to the next guy.

Yes, I do remember the gloroius innings of 100 souls per month that I used to send to meet their maker ...those were my glorious days, these days I barely manage 50 *sigh*. Guess I am growing old.

p.s. One for the road is for woosies ! grrrrr Big boys drink till we cannot see the road!!"

*hugs*

Doddappa

silverine said...

@Sujith:You are safer inside a BMTC believe me !
@Jay Menon: Appy noo yaar menene!!! Well..my secret is out. and for that nice compliment, Doddappa promises not to run you over next time you cross the road! The Auto drivers are like ballet dancers arent they? :))

Anil The Great said...

I am not sure as to what the driver meant by "Its safe inside the BMTC bus". But anyways , BMTC has helped me a lot in going from BTM Layout to MG Road and to Majestic, in the past. Now I dont have the stamina and patience to wait for the over crowded angry driver bus and so I prefer to take a lift from the good old three wheeler.

Driver sahab, remeber one thing , you may be running a Big bus, but you are still a small human being , so respect the life of others and follow this policy judiciously "Drive and let drive."

-ATG

Geo said...

silverine and flash,

^:)^

=))

Vikram said...

hahahahaha...awesome...

i guess the message is really clear now...

and..
//Road King

For some reason i was reminded of "Tiger Prabhakar"..:D..

Matter of Choice said...

@silverine n flaash

Grow up kids (straight face!)...doddappa is just another deadappa if he competes with our kerala SRTC guys. In kerala colour blindness is mandatory for applying for the post of driver. Other mandatory selection criteria inclde short temper, prone to frequent naps while at work, partial paralysis, strong vocal chords etc...

the real big boys let their driving do the talking for them...thats the reason why Rajan chettan (senior bus driver, Kerala SRTC, ex army tank driver, ex driver of karunakaran) does not even bother to reply to doddappa

cheers
MoC

silverine said...

@anil the great: Safer inside means you are insured against a BMTC bus killing you if you are on the road:))And your message is too good but too much for the small man with a smaller brain to grasp. He is too drunk on the power and size of his bus sadly!
@Geo: :">
@Vikram: there is actually a bus with the name 'Road King' scrawled in paint across its mud guard! :)
@MoC: I give up! Your KSRTC drivers rulez!!!! Guess our BMTC drivers will now commmit collective suicide in shame by drowning themselves in arrack! =))

Geo said...

Cant resist this... ;_)

Solution:
Overtake the BMTC driver thru the drivers side on ur bike, do some zig-zags, slow down, race ahead when he approaches you, repeat until you hear the bus (driver) grunting, then speed away...

Also, when that moron is stuck in a traffic jam, race ahead thru the narrow gap beside him, ride across the road just in front of him, turn across and creep between two stale vehicles after a full throttle, full clutch racing.... don’t forget to turn behind and pass a smirk to the moron sitting up above.


Consider this as my suicide note if u don’t see posts on my blog anymore. :_)

kickassso said...

The place to be on indian roads is NOT on a pulsar 180... Its on the footboard of a City bus!

btw, the inside of a city bus may NOT be the safest place to be! ( i know why, but rather not say!)

silverine said...

@Geo:I know another Pala guy who has the same philosophy.( I think it is genetic) He still lives due to my Mom's prayers and Dodappa's bulk!! Btw All Narain Karthikeyan needs is advice and training from you on Bangalore Roads to win the Formula One :))
@Kickasso:Footboard? Then you may please borrow Geo's suicide note. In Bangalore the safest place is inside a BMTC bus :))

Anonymous said...

Namaskara Dodappa once again!

I have finally managed to convince Rajan Chettan (senior bus driver, Kerala SRTC, ex army tank driver, ex driver of karunakaran)to come to Bangalore as my envoy from my home state.(i told him about free drinks at Raja Bar; and also i mentioned that Dodappa is a member of his rival union - so he's sufficiently charged up)

6:30 am at Raja's Bar Madiwala is fine ; after which you two can face-off in the "Busmaster Challenge" sponsored by Yaakke Cold Drink (?) Premium Arrack. Events include Biker Golf (Extra points for getting a particular smartass Pala based zigzag biker ;-))), Crush-a-car and Pothole Ballerinas-the figure skating event.

Everything remaining equal bodycount will be given priority

May the best man Win !!

Bets will be accepted at flaashgordon@gmail.com

*(Rajan Chettaa.. naadinte abhimaanathnte prashnamaanu ; vidalle ! )


cheers
flaash

silverine said...

Namaskara Flaash annavare,

Yella ok! Raajan Chettan yaake????

I mean, does this guy have a death wish? Do his wives nag him too much? Or does he have too many mortgages that he wants to end his life driving on Bengaluru roads?

As a fellow driver I accept the "Busmaster Challenge" on ONE condition! And that is I get to run him over when he loses. ( It was always my dream to run over a KSRTC bus *sniff*) I promise that his end will be quick. It is for NOTHING that they call me ‘quick-gun-dodappa’. (though I wish my bus would move a bit faster than me at times)

p.s. that Pala punk is ours!!! The RBDU (Really Bad Drivers Union) will give FREE lifetime drinks at the Raja Bar to the RBDU member who will pothole him first! Could you please replace him with a Red Santro? Pleeeeeeeeease? Pretty pleeeeeeeeease!!!

(Raajan anna what are these guys from your state doing to you?? sob sob Making one of their own kind a martyr on Bengaluru roads!!! Enthaha anyaya!!! You should have broken their bones when they were in engineering koliage itself.)

Cheers!! Let the games begin! One for the road and one for the pothole *hic*

Subhashyagalu

Doddappa

Geo said...

I am shocked to see my buddies daring each other to play carom with my poor bike and knock me down. :_(

I have decided to use my Mumbai contacts to full advantage, and have already left a voice message for Haji Masthan. His right hand man Lorry Vasu will reach Bangalore anytime now in his classic Rajasthan registered (Reg No : RIP 1010) National Permit Heavy Goods Carrier 12 tired truck, the number plate of which is reddened with blood of victims. Lorry Vasu is known as the ‘ab tak chappan’ man, ie, so far he has prepared Human-65 out of 56 unlucky chaps.

Lorry Vasu’s first target will be to convert a Red Santro of a certain flashy guy into a Reva. For the sake of all those beer bottles I have emptied with the flashy guy, I have given him a concession. His Santro will be converted into a Deluxe Reva instead of an ordinary Reva, which is 1.7 cms longer and .85 cms wider.

Next in line is a certain ‘homely’ (not the English dictionary meaning) girl who downs two S2M trolleys of liquor every Friday. My spies havnt yet given me her Scooty num, but I am positive I will get it by the time Lorry Vasu arrives. Considering the long queue of aspirants who post marriage proposals on each of her posts, I have instructed Vasu not to injure her but just scare her by honking from close behind, or taking a sharp turn when she is about to overtake, etc, etc....

See you both in the battlefield!!!

silverine said...

@Geo: ROFL =)) =))

@flaash: Your Santro and meri Scooty ka izzath ka sawaal hai.

@Geo:We shall get back to you soon after a brain storming session.

silverine said...

Message from Doddappa to Geo

Namaskara Geo!

The more the merrier I say!!! So this Lorry Vasu is ‘ab tak chappan’??? Then I am Heavenward 100! Please tell your Lorry Vasu that my 16 tyred ROAD KING is waiting for him on non existent Koramangala Indoor Stadium Road. Please don't get too overconfident about the fact that there is no blood to be seen on my number plates. These darned dusty roads have covered up my bloody legacy.

I shall have great pleasure in crushing the golden Yamaha Royal Enticer (with some foolish looking inscriptions on the back side of the bike) into a tricycle and the Bolero into a push cart. And the flaashy guy who is importing terrorists from Kerala, I will crush and toss his Red Santro into Yellandur lake.The chemicals will take care of the rest muahahahaha ( see today's TOI headline)

The imported terrorist from Rajasthan will be dealt with the moment he enters Karnataka by the RBDU guys. He will be in heaven standing in line to jump it's pearly walls into hell in no time. His Lorry R.I.P. 1010 will be auctioned off and the proceeds will go to the RBDU Arrack Fund! May his soul R.I.P.

See you all in hell er….Bangalore Roads !!!!

*hic*

Doddappa

p.s. I hope you left that message on Haji Masthan's celestial phone because he is dead.

flaashgordon said...

Vasooo..
Ethra naalayedaa kandittu ! Since the day u boarded the kallavandi to Bombay; i 've had no news of u! Somewhere i heard that u have become famous there as 'Lorry Vasu' and joined Haji-ettan

As per our childhood ambition to become drivers; i became the driver of our ex CM Karunakaran. But then after he formed a party and called it DIC(K) ; people started me DIC(K)Head's driver and as couldnt bear this i left the job and joined KSTRC.

Now etho oru #%#^#& Kannadakkaaran Dodappa has challenged me for a duel in Bangalore.Nammude KSRTCyodaano avante BMTC ?

So I thought i'll come to bangalore ; beat the crap out of this guy and if i've time apply and get a job in Infosys as software engineer.

Might need your help with finishing off Dodappa ; and a particular Palabased biker on the way. He's got a Yamaha Enticer; u can convert it into a Tobu (tri)cycle with ur own special skills.

Good to know we can meet up in Bangalore; i think u also should stop all this Lorry driving and try some corporate communications job somewhere in Bangalore.I know people with your sort of profile who's got such jobs

Shesham Kaazhchayil

Swantham Rajan Chettan

Geo said...

Silverine, u r linguistically correct when you said ‘Haji Masthan is dead’. What do you know about the way the Bhai-World functions? Only the man is dead, the legend lives on. Havnt u watched GodFather or of late Sarkar... In the first scene, Big B hears the complaint sitting in that coveted chair, and towards the end of the movie, Jr B sits in the same chair listening to complaints. So actually it’s the chair which is important, not the person sitting on it. You voice your concern there and the guy sitting on the chair will turn to his men and say ‘Uda dhe saale ko” and all your worries will be taken care of. Shubham.

Haji Masthan used to operate in a similar manner. He had this ‘coveted’ phone line, which he used for listening to complaints. He never used to attend the calls personally, as he was fed up with cops calling to check his wellbeing and Bollywood actresses calling him just before they were about to file paternity suits against him. So the modus operandi was like, u leave a voice message and ur concerns will be addressed by the gang and ‘Saales’ will be ‘uda dhe’-ed. (Of course, only the platinum customers know the phone num ;_) ) So even though the big man himself is no more, his aids like Lorry Vasu, Munnai Bhai, Mallik Bhai etc etc have tried to retain the tradition.

Now back to business,
Lorry Vasu called me up yday night. He said his trip is delayed by a day or two as he has agreed to do the stunt scenes of a Kannada movie, the shooting of which is progressing near Bellary area. Anyways, he asked me to pass his message to both of you.

Geo said...

Lorry Vasu’s message to Silverine (I wanted to edit certain lines, and insert some dhamkis, but refrained from doing so as I am afraid of the consequences) :

Ooy behanjii, (vo kyaa hai naa, apun ka bhaai log tum jaise chokri logoon ko ‘PYT’, chikni, chokri ye sab pukarthe hai. Lekin apun naari kaa bahut sammaan karthaa hoon...isliye apun sirf behanji karke hee pukaroonga)

Apun aaktually Rajasthaan ka aadmi nahi hai re.. apun bhee ‘khuda ka apna desh’ se hee hai... vo kyaa hai naa, ghar mein bahut kuch problems dhaa "Pura naranju nilkkunna achan, kettikkaan praayamaaya amma, shashtipoorthi kazhinja penganmaar"... isliye apun bhaagke Mumbai aaya..

Abhi apun ek filim kaa shooting mein hai... vo kyaa hai naa, apun ye sab paisa keliye nahi kar raha hai... ye tho dho, theen ‘peti’ kaa call-sheet hai. Lekin paisa kisko chaahiye. IMAGE!!!, apun ye sab image keliye kartha hai... vo kya hai na, Shimit Amin karke apun ka ek jigri dost dha, vo apun ka naam se ek movie direct kiya. Lekin vo apun ka naam ek policewale ko diya aur apun ka image ka waat laga diya. Actually apun ye killing willing ye sub zyaada nahi kartha hai re. 'Ab Tak Chappan' kyaa hai naa, apun abhi tak 56 ladkiyoom ko propose kiya hai... apun shudh shaakaahaari hoon, sharaab nahi peetha, beedi, ganga bilkul nahi... apun ek sacha dilwala aadmi hoon...

Apun ye film isliye kar raha hai ki, is mein apun ko ek senti scene bhee hai. Vo kyaa hai naa, apun ka ‘earth’ bhee ye movie mein hai, earth maane, right hand man. Vo Munna Bhai ko Circuit hai na, jaisa. Apun ka right hand man kaa naam hai GearBox. To apun aur apun ka GearBox, Agaara lake ke paas beidke baath karne kaa ek senti scene bhee hai is movie mein, aur dialogue eisa start kartha hai "GearBox, ye kyaa hai re, mere ko maa ki bahut yaad aa rahi hai re..."

So teek hai behanji, dhanyawaad, milte hai Bangalore mein... agar aap ko vo muzzle man chikna actor hai na,... kyaa naam hai uska... haa Joseph Abraham, haa uskaa ya Sallu Bhai kaa kuch autograph votograph chaahiye tho badha dena, apun leke aathaa hoon...


Now Lorry Vasu’s message to Flash. (I like this one :_))

Arre chikna, apun aaktually ladke loogoon se muh se nahi, goli se baath kartha hoon. Lekin tu mera friend ka friend hai na, isliye ye dialogue pakad – "Mein tera khoon pee jaavoongaa"

Ps: Flash, I havnt shown your latest message from Rajan Chettan to Vasu yet, and don’t intend to do so also. :_))

silverine said...

silverine to Lorry Vasu:

Chetaaaaaa! Bahuth kushi hui aapse milke! So glad to know you are from "‘khuda ka apna desh" or Dogs Own Country.

Aaap ne Hindi ko murder karke aapka death count 57 kar diya, Wah! Wah! Aap Flaash School of Hindi mein kyon nahin bharthi ho jaathe? Woh Flaash hamara jigri dosth hai aur appko 50% discount dega. Aur agar aap Flaash ko Hindi sikhayenge tho woh aapko 100% discount aur beer bhi khareedh ke dega! Beer peene ke baad Bangalore road bahut clear dikhta hai aur potholes bhi!

Aapka situation bahut tragic hai.Lekin mere paas ek solution hai. Hamara friend Doddappa ka baap abhi unmarried hai. Aap chahe tho aapki maa aur Dodapppa ka pitha ka ek PKC karva diya jai? Dodappa ka pitha bahuth achacha aadmi hai, sharaab bahuth kam pitha hai, sirf din mein 2 bottle or weekends main 4 bottles.Doddaapa ke ghar mein bhi shashtipoorthi kazhinja chetanum, aniyanmaar ondu. Aapka shashtipoorthi kazhinja penganmaarude problem ek minute mein khallas ho jayega. One big happy family! No more KSRTC BMTC tensions!!

Endhu parayunnu vasuetta?

Geo said...

Some anti-social elements have leaked Rajan Chettan’s message to Vasu, and here is his reply :_(


Rajettaa,
I have become Dhanya N on hearing about you. Long time no see, ehh? I still remember those days when we used to play with those old cycle tires and dreaming about becoming drivers. I am waiting to reach Raja Bar and have our drinks together.

Good that you got yourself detached from those politicians. These politicians are not to be trusted, they are not massom, imandaar like us dons. How dare this bloody deadappa challenge our KSRTC drivers? East or west, KSRTC is the best. I am waiting to get my hands on that BMTC idiot.

Good to know you have decided to join an IT-firm. I heard now a days they recruit any tom dennis and harry who pass by their office. I heard an YemBeeYe guy had his interviews yday. If he gets thru then any blind man can apply and be assured of a job.

Ok, then, see u there at Raja.... for old times sake..

silverine said...

From Doddappa to Raajan anna and vaasu anna.

KHAMOSH!!!!!
I am waiting on non-existent Koramangala Indoor Stadium revving my Road King from morning and all that these mallu wimps can do call each other chetan and Ooy behanjii.

Shame on you !!!!

While I was waiting for you woosies to arrive I did go in to Raja's Bar for a nip or two ( I was thristy ok??? No need to be judgmental) And now *hic* I can barely see the road. Sho you mallus talk and call each other Cheta*hic*while I go and do the Koramangala Electronics City run and pray that I get lucky and get to crush the Enticer to not-so-Enticer.Do call me when the party beginsh *hic*

Namaskara!

Doddappa
*hic*

Anonymous said...

Everybody in the second comment is connected to everybody in my first comment.

D3

flaash said...

Dey Dodappa

U have escaped me this time...
I was on the way to Bangalore and i passed Electronic City ;and there i found that there were too many walk-ins but absolutely no Drive-ins :-(((

It was 6pm then and i was trying to drive to Bangalore city but then....There was this major traffic jam .......I hadnt had a single drink but even i couldnt see the road !!!!And thats where was stuck for the last 2 days...

And then as i wasnt sure where i was; i asked someone if i was on the right way to Bangalore. He told me that the roads in fact led to some wierd sounding place called "Bengaa-luru". I thought i had reached Central Africa and so i turned back and finally reached Cochin early today

I'm now looking up Bangalore on Google Earth today

edaa Doddappaa ninne pinne kandolaaam !!



Rajan Chettan

PS: Lorry Vasooo ; Sorry Vasoo !!

silverine said...

Dai Rajan Anna:

You got scared of Bengaluru traffic and you wanna fight with me??? I am Bangalore traffic goththa??? So stay in your home town and don't you dare venture into the big boys playground a.k.a Bangalore Roads.

p.s. while you are at it, try and spot my Road King on Google Earth. It will put the fear of God in you.

Namaskara!

Doddappa