Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Forever young !

Thursday morning, and the usual avalanche of SMS’s fall on me as the gals plan Friday night’s jam session. I am caught in the middle of a crossfire of SMS’s going back and forth for a good one and a half hour.

1. silverine’s place, we can have a barbecue
2. No! 2 far + pesky brother how about N’s place?
3. No, pesky brother there too, how about S’s place?
4. No, her mom will close us by 10
5. Shobha?
6. Pesky younger sister
7. Ok then it is silverine’s place then
8. Ok.


It’s a wonder we get any work done at all on a Thursday.
Next round of SMS’ starts post lunch.

1. Bacardi Breezer for me
2. Rum, OM
3. KF Beer
4. Smirnoff
5. Blue Riband
6. somebody please get the softdrinks too
7. I hate Smirnoff , make it Absolut
8. I hate KF Beer, get me UB
9. Grovers White Wine
10. Who will buy?
11. Silverine and Nisha
12. Why us?????
13. (silence)


Friday evening me and Nisha set off for Sunday to Monday (S2M). Nisha grumbles that it took her a good half an hour to write down the booze list from her mobile while I look around furtively to see if any relation/friend of the family is around. I will never bump into a relation/friend of the family when I am shopping for groceries, but the moment I pick up a bottle of booze they appear miraculously from nowhere.*sigh*

The coast was clear. S2M was thinly populated with housewives and snotty hyperactive kids. We take our trolley and with the air of experienced boozards begin filling up the trolley. Pretty soon it is evident that we will need another trolley (because we had to keep the bottles horizontal in single file to avoid breakage). I walk across with an air of great interest to the Masala section, see an abandoned trolley and quickly grab it and we begin filling it up. After some time it becomes evident that something was horribly wrong with our booze shopping list because we are in need of a third trolley!!!!!

Time for SMS’s again.

1. Ok, tell us exactly how much booze you all want!
2. I want 3 breezers, orange flavor
3. 3 UB beers, pint
4. One wine, very chilled ok?
5. Smirnoff, 250 ml yaar
6. one 500 ml coke, sprite, fanta
7. if they don’t have OM get Celebration Rum,
8. They don’t have quarter? How dumb!
9. Ok then get me a 500 ml
10. Sausages over at Foodworld, can you get it instead?
11. Hey I am Veg remember?
12. Yeah, and I am Miss India


And so on and so forth. Pretty soon we are cursing and swearing and jotting down the ‘orders’. Now we know why waiters give us the cruel eye when we get into a debate on the merits and demerits of various brands of alcohol while he is waiting, pencil poised to take our orders.

After filling up for the second time, we go to the billing area near the exit. I see my Uncle John, my Dad’s drinking buddy coming straight at us. I duck behind the plastic wares shelf leaving a flustered Nisha with two trolleys laden with booze. Uncle John takes his time at the toiletry section and Nisha manages to push both the trolley amidst curses to 8 generations of my ancestors to the billing area. We are 5th in the queue consisting of a beautiful grey haired grandmom buying cheese and sugarless cookies, an old couple buying papadams, a mom buying half the store, and two guys buying Maggi Noodles and Sprite ( guess they were eating in style that day).

And as is wont for people waiting in the queue, everyone is casually looking around at the people coming in and the people waiting with them and at the …..trolleys. Our trolley looks like a bootleggers tempo and bottles stick out like fluorescent sore thumbs. The elderly gentleman standing in front of us with namam on forehead looks disapprovingly at us. He whispers something to his wife. She looks at our trolley pointedly, then stares at us coldly making both of us squirm like two worms on a hot plate. Then mom decides to look around. Her eyes freeze as she spots our trolley, widens in disbelief and she looks away disapprovingly. Then one of the not-so-merry bachelors standing behind the Grandmom espies our trolley. He nudges his friend and both giggle like two school girls who have just seen a packet of condoms. I suggest to Nisha that we give a swig of the wine to these people and both of us collapse into giggles at the very thought. (More disapproving stares)

Our turn comes at last and the cashier starts removing the bottles one by one painstakingly scanning the barcode one by one blessed bottle at a time. We ignore the stares and smirks of the growing queue and finally manage to leave the place after what seemed an eternity.

As we were walking out cursing and grumbling and groaning at the weight of the bottles and the ‘narrow minded” people, we heard a voice calling out - “Girls!” We look around and see that it was the white haired Grandma who was ahead of the sober bachelors in the line. She waves, smiles and then winks and says. “Have a blast, girls. And have a large one for me.”

We smile right back absolutely bowled over by the spunky lady.

At last!!! Someone who understands us. Someone who is our age !! (at least at heart.)

As we walk away I catch myself singing "Forever young, I want to be forever young"

72 comments:

Thanu said...

Thanks for living in US, no one stares at the amt of alchohol one buys.

Very funny post.

Hyde said...

Have fun! *hic*

Sixteen men on the dead man's chest,
Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum.

Rockus said...

We are having a booze party this weekend *happy rockus*
But probably our last one in college
*boohoo*

If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...

Good one girl. I cracked up with this one line -

"He nudges his friend and both giggle like two school girls who have just seen a packet of condoms."

Provided me with memories and inspiration for my next post :-D

Jagan said...

tht was funny..but u must hav put wht ur frds did after they got drunk..thts always the more funnier part rt ?

Dr. Pissed said...

Beautiful.
Honestly, I love the attitude. (both the granny's and your's)

Cheers and hope you live life to the fullest man.

Bluefrogtribute said...

Good shit, Wow u guys sure as hell drink a lot and one piece of advice why sunday to monday. Buy booze in some cheap bar faster, cheaper. But then i guess this blog would not havce been written.

Alexis Leon said...

Hope you had a blast, just as the Grandma told. Why can't everyone agree on one brand? Just simplifies things a lot.

It has been almost 11 years since I had a drink. Now at 11.40 in the night, after reading your post, I feel so nostalgic that I will do anything for few drinks and some sausages. Grrrrr... Tonight, the only thing I will dream about will be alcohol :-)

jay menon said...

sms me sms me sms me.....i too got a longgg listttt, usually am the one who is always on ur position carryin all bottles... i remember once a kid came near me and said---r u gonna drink all this...i said no its for my dad ;) he is exactly like urs

jay menon said...

I HATE THIS WORD VERIFICATION BULLSHIT ....it took me 10 mins to post a comment

Vikram said...

Hmm...KF Beer...its been an eon I guzzled that down...:(

Nandya said...

ha ha ha ha....

damn hillarious.....would love to meet u gals someday....and 'hic' 'hic'......

silverine said...

@Thanu: You are very lucky :)
@hyde:Yo ho ho and a barrel of rum ;)
@Rockus: Ideal time to drown your sorrows at the parting but I guess your sorrows have learnt to swim by now :))
@IfItellya,I'llhavetokillya: Eagerly awaiting that post gal. I am sure it will be a scream lol
@Jagna: Yes! A post on girls and their drinking habits will follow soon :))
@dr.pissed: *hugs* you are very special :))
@bluefrogtribute:You call Bacardi breezers and UB pints drinking a lot??? btw where is this cheap bar where you get drinks cheap? And will they have the selection S2M or Foodworld has?
@Alexis: Girls will never have one brand!! *sigh* That would make my job so much easier. I shall have a drink for you next time to make up for your abstinence :)
@Jay Menon:That was too good !!Passing the buck to your Dad ha ha ha Even I HATE THIS WORD VERIFICATION BULLSHIT :))
@Vikram: You must miss it so much! I wuld if I were in your place :)
@Nandya:Thanks! :))

Ammo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ammo said...

If you ever think of writing a book, aptly titled "Adventures of THE SILVERINE", this one should be the first chapter...*HIC*...I guess I can take a tip or two next time I ever go to pick booze :D
So where the party held finally...?

~Ammo.

Hyde said...

It is a bottle of rum, that is what my copy of Treasure Island says.

Unless you people plan to guzzle a barrel of rum.

Anil The Great said...

Lovely. Hope the party must have been equally amazing. You girls dont drink , right ? I have never seen a drunk Indian girl ..lol .


Anyways nice writeup , keep giving us such amusing anecdotes and you will win our hearts and much more( I heard some blog awards are being talked about).

Good day.

-ATG

Hyde said...

Yes, yes, I missed the ;)

Geo said...

Three cheers to the achayathi :_)) hic hic hurraayyy....

Agree with Alexis on the one drink concept. That way its pretty easier for us... We just order a cpl of bottles of Smirnoff or Signature depending upon the mood of the majority, and beer as mouthwash.

In case u r looking for bars arnd silkboard area, Greens, Lemon Grass, Krishna Chinai ...

Mind Curry said...

fantastic description of the queues we have in bangalore..was just laughing..i think breezers are a cool fav among women huh..but sadly its not freely available..except in goa? i remember a dear friend went to goa for a holiday and all she carried back was two crates of breezers.

calvin said...

Hic ! Hic !
Kuttanaadan Punjaayile ..
(chorus)Thithai thakatheythey thom..
Kochu Penne Kuyilaale..
Hic Hic HIC !!

Matter of Choice said...

ah...if one can always remain as young at heart as the grandma in the incident...then life is well lived...

btwn the gals have sordid taste..white wine (no hot red blooded females???) celebration rum (i know someone who likes that!) and finally the biggest crime...u prefer UB over KF beer????? ohmygod!!!!! thats sacrilege..

Strangely, no one seemed to have asked for our good ole kallu aka neera in blr...u get them on the roadside on the outskirts of blr...now thats some value for money drink compared to all those
breezers!!!

now we demand the sequel...what exactly happened after the drinks?? anything interesting? (wink wink)

cheerio
MoC

Anonymous said...

u rite very well n i've bcome a fan f ur posts :)

Vivek Panda said...

wow ! u really know how to live life kingsize!!

and hey sileverine, i'd luv to hear what u have to say about my girl. check out my blog pls and see our pic in the 'Friendz' post. will be waiting for ur comment.

take care and happy new year !

Naresh Krishnan said...

It's festival season in Kerala that leads to the serpentine queues headed to the "Civil Supplies Shop". Now that must be the most aptly titled Govt. agency. Shrugging away sniggers and worse from passersby & other despotic spoilsports, the line at the shop is a picture, rather, a study in single-minded devotion, discipline & brand consciousness.

Must be said that it's an all-male preserve; and that some or all of the 3 qualities are temporarily suspended after the drinks interval.

Nice post. Repeat, please.

JamesBright said...

Fantastic post, beautifully written and also reflecting the cultural shift..!
Nice to hear that you girls are enjoying...!

anthony said...

Vintage Silverine...
Where did you pick up that bootleger's tempo and flourescent sorethumb.. it was very original.

And have a blast..... And of course now I know where i will gate crash when i am in bangalore.

And I will have a large one too this friday to that lady. too good. Another one for the maggi wala

Lost in trance... said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lost in trance... said...

everybody SHUD get sloshed once a week! should be a rule or smthg :O)
dont we take ourselves too seriously? GOSH!

silverine said...

@ammo: The party was held at my place finally!
@Hyde: It's a new copy I guess!
@Geo; If there are three girls there will be six brands!!!! That's how we gals are! Bet CB didn't know that ;))And bars?...well we rarely go to bars, we prefer places where we can sit and yak! :))
@mindcurry; I never had problems with Breezers as I am the official bootlegger. And our ques are something special arent they? A mix of old and new.
@aashik: :))

Pradeep said...

As usual, a really well-written post.

quills said...

Very entertaining as usual. :) Sounds like you girls had a blast!

silverine said...

@MoC:The lady did leave a big impression on us and the feeling lasted through the evening. She was a stranger but a symbol of an undying zest for life :)
@Anon: Thank you :)
@Vivek: I did and she is beautiful!!
@Naresh: Thank god for the Dept. Stores selling booze we do not have to go to the Wine Shops anymore :)
@dreamslittle: Thank you. Guess times have changed :)
@Anthony:Well that's my description. That's exactly how the bottles looked, very incongrous among the noodles and soaps and shampoos. And we need to drink a toast to people like her. May their tribe increase and join the party :))
@lostintrance: I second that :))
@pradep and quills: Thank you, we sure did have a blast and plenty of liqor leftover as 250 ml itself is too much for us :))

Arz000n said...

Boy...
Girls night out souns so fun :)

Is it really like this or you wrote some blogger version with all its colors in lights in it ??

Kidding..

Now lemme see wht are guys in ma team doing for this weekend...else I need to plan boys night out :D

esvee said...

Uh oh...why did i read your blog?

Now i am pining for a drink.:-(
When my friends go to India, i ask them to drink for me too,preferably the very first drink..so my dear lady, next time you have a drink,have one for me too..!( And i will repay that when i go to India..drinking for you :-))

Keep on "blast"ing

Goan Pao said...

maybe it was not the fact that you were buying alcohol but the quantity..by anyones guess it was quiet a bit for 2 people...
and dont tell me you dont smirk at drunkards on the streets...
Hope your party was fun...reminds me i need to get an OM..
advice: We buy booze in parts to avoid carrying large amounts at one go, if u hv an accident atleast you wont loose all the booze..its precious stuff.. ;)

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

U serious ? i mean , really soi much of alcohol ???
U must be kidding , right ?

Heh heh heh ... i wish my dad would read this post ... he keeps telling me abt how i ..................................................
....
am shooing away all his phone calls .... he claims i am on the phone / net all the time ... am i ????

hmmm. ...

my friends are married ... so , no girl only nights here ./....

Why the hell ???

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

have fun this weekend .. and dont ya forget to tell us abt it ;))))

but ya , our girl only sessions consisted mainly of bowls n bowls n bowls of mehndi !!!

ladyparadox said...

this place rocks! looking for a job in the editorial section of a music mag? get in touch!

Casablanca said...

Awwww... so cute! Lurved this post :D

silverine said...

@arzoon:We do have these get togethers once every month. Have fun at yours!
@Esvee:Next drink is for you :)
@GoanPav: No, I don't smirk at drunkards. And guess you didn't read the post properly. We were shopping for quite a few girls, 12 to be precise. We do not get miniatures in India so are forced to buy half litre bottles and these have to laid in a single row in a trolley to avoid breakage hence the two trolleys. And the girls who are not working late on Friday buy the booze, while the others take care of the food and other paraphernalia.
@deepa:Hey, you got to find friends to chill out with ok?
@ladyparadox: Thank you :)
@casablanca: Welcome back !!! :))

Mind Curry said...

yup..great queues..by the way isnt it monday to sunday? the one in front of forum? always went in there thinking its m2s. anyway..great post again..imagine getting caught in that situation in gods own..there woulda been a hartal the next day, a scandal the day after and by the end of the week a demand for the CM to resign.

Safari Al said...

I want booze...bawl!

I cant even find time now to go to the local (and very dirty) bar for a pint of cold beer.


Damn...i hate college(reason 231)

hope and love said...

ooohh..!! lovely post..!!

Safari Al said...

I couldnt resist the temptation.
i am back and post up!

anthony said...

Let their tribe grow!! of course

Jiby said...

yo!!! the old woman reminds me of my ammachi!!! when it gets cold we pour her some brandy...and then sit around making fun of her and she wont care a hoot...i always wonder if i live to her age if i'll even be half as healthy and a quarter as lively as her! great post...havent yet found the time to read your other posts...i guess i'll give a month after all my exams are done, relax, roll on the floor and laugh a lot reading all your posts i have missed. cheers...and yeah next time gulp down one for me bottoms up!

LI said...

May be you should have invited that grandmom also for the party :-D

Bluefrogtribute said...

SOrry for the late response... Ya u have the same variety all the stuff ure looking for u get at these local bars.. Depends on which area will tell u a bar there if i know.

silverine said...

@mindcurry: Guess it is m2s :D And it's next to Forum. ha ha I am sure there would have been hartal declared in Kerala if we were caught shopping for booze :)) Yesterday I went to Bangalore Central and what do you think I saw???? The Liqor section was jam packed with girls buying booze and everyone was buying 750 ml as they didnt have quarters and 500 ml bottles!!! I think for girls sake they should start selling liqor in miniatures, as a couple of miniatures is all we need. Now my room looks like a bootlggers den with all the leftover booze:))My brother won't touch it as he says they are sissy drinks grrrrrr
@Safari Al: So sad, there is nothing more tragic than being deprived of a chilled beer :(
@Anthony: Cheers to that!!
@Jiby: Hey Jiby what a pleasant surprise to see you. Your grandma sounds just like mine. She loves wine though. I don't think we will ever be like this spunky generation of ammachi's, but I hope when I am an 'ol grandma I will be young at heart like that grandma I met at m2s :)
@Li: that's exactly what the girls told me. This lady is a regular at m2s I think cos she was wearing walking shoes. I am definitely gonna invite her for our next do if I meet her again :)
@blufrogtribute: Thanks I will let you know with a comment on your blog :)

>|' ; '| said...

heh! maybe some 50 years down the lane, we can see ya chirping "Have a blast, girls(and guys). And have a large one for me" :)

Anonymous said...

Have they starting selling inebriants at supermarkets and when did this happen ????
As far as i know city of baked beans sold liquor only at wine stores and bars.
Or am i missing something ?

D3

silverine said...

@Poison: I hope 50 years down the line I will be living and if I am I hope I will be able to say that :)
@D3:In Bangalore all Supermarkets sell liqor!

Goan Pao said...

hey i dont think you got what i said...you knew that the alcohol was for 12 girls and that there were no miniatures...but look at it from the other persons perspective and it looks like 2 girls with all that booze..not that they should actually care.....
Well I agree with the fact that miniatures should be sold...why girls even guys some time just need the 2 pegs...
I thought everyone smirked at drunkards hell I twinge when I see myself drunk in the mirror...
As for calling any alcohol sissy drink thats unfair...just mix all the leftover stuff up and add a lot of juice to the stuff..and dare any mard ki aulad to consume the punch...

silverine said...

@GoanPav: True, we still have the people in Bangalore who are not used to seeing girls buy liqor.
Ok, one mard ki aulad punch coming right up. Now where do I get the mard ki aulad? lol :))

Mind Curry said...

hartal? no way..the least they ask for now is the CM's resignation. your brother must be the luckiest guy alive on earth to have all the free booze flowing around him..sissy or not. ok after hearing your grrrr, its definitely not.

Mind Curry said...

forgot to add..the one place that usually has a good stock of the Breezers in Bangalore is the Bangalore Central store.

r r said...

oh my, you absolutely blew me away! HILARIOUS!

just a couple of questions on the side, how big are these trollies exactly? heh and what did u have to drink?

silverine said...

@mincurry: CM's resignation? That was the height of trivialisation of hartals LOL :))
I did see that BC had a good stock of breezers and a sizeable number of gals in the liqor section!!!
@RR: The trolleys are quite small and my poison is White Wine, preferably dead-on-arival ;)

kickassso said...

guess who is in bangalore rt now:P

Anonymous said...

It's been a week and still no post. I take it that you still haven't got over the hangover :-)
---- Browser

Anonymous said...

Unexpected comments from unexpected people!:)
Queer

silverine said...

@kickasso:Suswagathagalu :)
@Browser: Post is up!
@Queer: Wot?

Anonymous said...

Who would have expected the old lady to understand?
Queer

Safari Al said...

if you have spare booze lying around that no one wants to drink then let me know. sometimes down here in this hole there is a severe shortage of booze.

Sp^wN_0F_S^T^N said...

lol....kewl grandma...B-)

n u ppl seriously know how to live it up...:D

Ch33rZ!!! >:)>-

silverine said...

@anon: Very true, who would have ever thought that she would be such a sport!
@Safrai al: And to which hole should I courier the booze? :))
@Spawnofsatan: What a kool name!! Just you wait till u r out of college and earning, you too will live it up :)

Lazy strokes said...

ugh, Silverine, u're writing too much! Can I ask you to slow down, out of purely selfish motives? I cant find enough time to read it all dammit.

silverine said...

@lazy strokes: Sometimes the ideas come in a rush, what to do? :)) I dont think there will be anymore posts for sometime, unless I squeeze in some time in the coming very busy two weeks :(
p.s. I am on a camera hunt for my coming birding trip to the Nilgiris, can you advice on a good one like the one you have bought?

Lazy strokes said...

R us looking for an SLR? I am completely at peace with my cam, which is the Canon EOS 350D. It's a nice camera, and great price too. There's the D50 for around the same price for Nikon fans. But it aint got as many features. And, for ur birding trip, be sure to get a telephoto lens. (Zoom, preferably. A 80 - 300 shud do the trick.) They're so costly.. maybe you want to consider borrowing one now and buying later...

Supremus said...

Sigh.

Next time i am in bangalore, please dont forget to invite me to such a party! hehheh :D.

Suyog

Srinivas said...

Was digging into your old pages. nice funny one.