Sunday, June 13, 2010

Training for beginners

How to convince the HR and your Boss that you actually read the training document on the Intranet.

Step one: Open training site.
Now open another tab and read some blogs.

Step two: Click first link of the training document.
Open another tab, Tweet

Step four: Click second link of the training document.
Watch Youtube.

Step three: Click third link of the training document.
Read news

Step four: Click fourth and final link of the training document.
GChat, Yahoo messenger, MSN etc.

Step five: Give very positive feedback about the quality of training material at the end of the document and submit feedback.

Wait for training completion mail to drop in Inbox and stick your head into Boss cabin and watch with great pleasure as he reads with growing disbelief the auto mail from HR about his employee's successful completion of training in two hours and twenty minutes covering all four topics.

Stick head out before he face palms and calls the HR #%&@*# morons!!

Pick up a coffee and bask in the satisfaction of a job well done.

Have a nice week folks!

11 comments:

scorpiogenius said...

jeez! exactly how I do it, especially when new policies come in w.r.t the organizational matters.

Blogs, Twitter, Facebook, gmail always will be present on my tabs whenever I sit in front of the computer. Good to know that more people do the same way.. :P

Nona said...

And the poor manager has to revisit the training agenda after 3 months to measure the effectiveness of the training! Believe me, I have seen people asking this question! But I do not know these questions are answered! :|

Rajlakshmi said...

hahaha thats excatly how most of us finish our training :P

muks said...

OMG! LOL superb ...I was really busted into laughing while reading. You explained software industry people’s evolution cycle very perfectly. Be it be the training or anything else I am sure steps remains the same: P …. From my side I would suggest you to add a cup of coffee in 1t step so that ideally it ends where it started  

indiashoes said...

Ur lucky. You dont have a test on the basis of the training :(
I had to scourge the office for a prior trained person for the last link - aka TEST!

Deepthi Nair said...

lol!!! i did this for 2 good months...in fact those were the only good times i had at that co....btw that was also the time i came across ur blog..;-)

RGB said...

So much for training eh? But they never give up, do they?!

Anonymous said...

you managed to do all of those 'training activities' in 2:20?
wowza, you are really efficient..

- jackson

Shimmer said...

haahahaha, luvley!! i would precisely the same! :D

Destiny's child... said...

Haha...just what we all love doing and actually do! :D

Aniket said...

Tell me there is some filter to stop managers from viewing this site. These are trade secrets, and you are spilling them out. No one above our levels in the pyramid of screaming should know this stuff. ;)