So everybody here is into the new week yeah! I am sure you all got out of bed in a jiffy and got ready with a smile on your lips and a song in your heart. Tuesday sure is a lovely day isn’t it? Tuesday means - only three more days to Friday!Nice!
I am looking forward to this week too. (The keyword is “this week” folks. I am no shallow work loving person.) There is a lot that is happening in office and I am not talking about work. We have several new people who have joined us and each one is a one man/woman entertainment show.
Last week a new HR executive joined us. In order to keep her busy and out of her hair, the HR Manager delegated her with the task of preparing a report on the comings and goings (a.k.a attendance record) of the people working here. After a week of intense study of the company Access Card data, she submitted her findings to the HR manager. It made a very umm interesting read and we came to know of some hitherto unknown fact about our colleagues.
According to the report…
1. My boss reported for work on the first day of work and after signing out in the evening has never come to the office again. HR Exec has recommended a missing persons report to be filed at the nearest police station.
2. Yours truly does not exist. She is yet to come to work. Perhaps her offer letter is pending.
3. Foxy has been living in this building for the past five years and the HR executive is very worried about him. No, she is not worried about his lack of time off. She is concerned that he may be working in the same clothes for the past five years.
4. The Marketing Managers in this organization come to work only for 30 minutes after which they sign out and go home.
5. The IT Architect comes to work some times but prefers to work in the Camera Control Room. (Note to self: He is till trying to find out who switches off his Servers! Damn!)
6. The only sign of life in this building are Visitors and Pizza Delivery boys, Juice Delivery boys and Cigarette delivery boys.
7. The only people who come to work in this building are Housekeeping Staff, Maintenance Staff, Security Staff and the catering people.
8. The company urgently needs to hire a CEO, COO, CTO and other top Management people. There is no evidence of the people hired for the job.
9. Ms. Blah Blah is the only person who comes to work in the morning and leaves in the evening. Considering the general trend in the office, HR Exec feels that Ms Blah Blah should be sent for a medical test to evaluate her abnormal behavior.
10. All male staff seem to enter and exit the Smoking Section of the Terrace frequently. But there is no record of them entering the building. This paranormal phenomenon occurs every one hour for some people, every two hours for some and every half an hour for the majority. HR Exec did try to solve the mystery but could not see much in the dense smoke.
I know what you all are thinking and I agree with you. That HR Executive should be fired!
And now for some good news! After the release of the report I was once again awarded The Tailgater of the Year Award. Thank you for the applause. I humbly acknowledge your admiration, appreciation, wonder, awe and absolute devotion!
Have a nice week folks!