“Anjali, I need to talk to you” said Shobha in a woebegone tone. “It’s about Arun” she said her eyes misting. “I think he is cheating on me!”
Alarm bells started ringing stridently in my head. Previous outcomes of interceding in colleague’s love-lives and its disastrous consequences flashed before my eyes for some time in a rather long flash presentation.
“I am sorry I cannot help you” I said abruptly, walking away from her. Every time I advised some gal, I ended up becoming the villain of the piece after BF and GF kissed and made up.
BF: I cannot believe that you called me a double crosser Anita *sniff*
BF: I was only giving that girl a lift home you know!
GF (looking ashamed): I am sorry!
BF: And her kissing me goodnight was umm her way of saying good night in her err Rajput tradition!!
BF: Yes!! And sliding her hands inside my shirt is a sign of respect amongst Bengalis you know!!
BF (quickly): Her mom is Bengali you see!
BF: Yet you suspected me! *sob*
GF (defensively): It was Anjali who said that you were lying!
Here the jarring note folks? That’s yours truly! I am ashamed to admit that I have been a jarring note in many a people’s love life due to my [quote] suspicious and distrustful nature laced with jealousy due to my single status [unquote]!! Sigh!
So some time back, I took a firm resolution dear friends that I would stop putting two and two together and coming up with 22 or worse… 222!! Full of good intentions I went to give the good news to my best buddy in office, Srividya.
Me: Sri! From now on I will not jump to conclusions and create problems in people’s lives!
Sri: Yeah sure!
Me: Really!!! Please believe me!
Sri: Let’s see.
Me: See, the other day I saw Arun and that Sowmya from HP in his car and I knew there was a prefect explanation to that!
Me: Yes! I am sure he saw her on the road and decided to give her a lift!!
Sri: Good girl!
Me: And you know what? When I saw her sitting on his lap, I knew that there was a perfectly normal explanation to that too!!!
Me: He had a sudden attack of amnesia and forgot driving and she had to take over the steering!!! Simple!
Me: And you know what! The poor guy was so demoralized by the episode and that she had to whisper words of encouragement into his ears!!
Me: And her running her hand through his hair...that must be to rejuvenate his memory I am sure!
Sri: WTF!!! How long has this been going on?
Me: Around six months. I guess this must a severe case of Amnesia.
Me: And guess what? I saw them coming out of the Registrars office the other day! I am sure they had gone to give witness to someone’s marriage!
Me: Yes! And you know what! I am sure there is a perfect explanation to Sowmya’s growing tummy too!
Sri: Oh my f***g gawd!!! When did that happen!!!
Me: Oh a month back! I am sure she must be suffering from flatulence!
Sri: Jesus Christ!!!
Me: Aren’t you proud of me!
Sri: *choicest Tamil epithets*
Me (breathlessly): And guess what! Arun proposed to Shobha and she accepted!!! I am so happy!
Sri: *swoon* *thud*
Sri wouldn't talk to me for sometime after that. But I am sure there was a perfect explanation for that too folks...temporary paralysis of the vocal chords!
Have a nice week folks and Happy Valentines Day on the 14th!!!