I closed my eyes as my brother M hit an old but well kept Fiat from behind! The Fiat stopped and out came a greying gentleman to inspect the back of his car. The following is the exchange that happened soon afterward.
Ungle: You hit my car!
M: I am sorry but you braked suddenly uncle.
Ungle: I didn’t brake suddenly. You were speeding.
M: Absolutely not!
Ungle: And who is this girl?
M: That’s my sister.
Ungle (turning to me): Young lady please tell your parents that your brother is a menace on the roads!!!
Me: heh heh they already know errr... I mean ok Uncle.
The-menace-on-the-road goes out to inspect Ungles car. Upon inspection it is revealed that we will need to import a high resolution Megapixel Digital Microscope to detect the scratch Ungle is claiming to have been caused by our car. Now Aundy comes out of the car. Aundy is suitably incensed.
Aundy: You young people should have some manners on the road. You think you own the road!!!
(Spots the rosary hanging from the rear view mirror)
Aundy: Malayalee aano? ( are you Malayalees)
M: Adhe! (yes)
Ungle: What is your father’s name?
M: *tells the name*
Ungle to aundy: Idhu nammude Mathiachande alian aano? (isn’t this our Mathew's brother in law?)
Aundy: aayirkaam! (maybe)
Ungle: Are you Mathew Padamadan's nephew?
M: Never heard of him
Ungle (turning to Aundy): This must be some other people.
Ungle: From which part of Kerala are you from?
Ungle to Aundy: Do we know anyone there?
Aundy: Susande mole kettichidhu Kadanadil alle? ( Isn’t Susans daughter is married to someone in kadanadu)
Ungle: hmmm are you related to Fr Sebastian?
M: Which Fr Sebastian? We have many Priests in our family!
Ungle to Aundy: Achchande veetuperu endhanu? (What is the Priests surname?)
Uncle: Yes Fr Sebastian Kinatukkara!!
M: Never heard of him either! Err... We need to go Uncle. It is getting late and we have a function to attend.
Ungle: Oho! So that was the hurry yeah? You are going to a party...to get drunk... and ram some more innocent vehicles?
M: I wasn't hurrying uncle besides we are going for a First Holy Communion!
Uncle: Don’t argue with me!! I am a retired army officer with grown up children you know! Give me your father’s number!
Ungle: I am going to call the cops and then your father and .....
Aundy: Are you related to Paul Augustine from Kanjirappally?
M: Which Paul Augustine?
Aundy to Ungle: Paul Augustinede veetuperu endhanu? (What is Paul Augustine’s surname?)
Ungle: Marannu poyi! Eerurikkal annu ennu thonnunu! ( I forgot. I think it is Eerurikkal)
Aundy: I think it is Paul Augustine Eerurikkal!
M: Oh yes I know him.
Uncle (beaming): Then you must know his second cousin Jacob Alapatt’s son Ronald?
Uncle: He is my son-in-law!
M: Oh wow! Great to meet you Uncle! How is Ronald?
Aunty: Maybe you haven’t heard but Ronald had an accident and is hospitalised. Mercy our daughter is in the US. He had just got his Visa!
M: How sad. Give me his number Uncle. Long time since I talked to him!
Ungle: Do that it will cheer him up! *beaming*
M: And how is Mercy?
Aundy: Mercy is fine. She will soon be moving to Chicago. You must know her brother in law Shibu.
M: Oh yes I do. He was my senior in REC I think!
Aundy: No he is from CET...
M: oh ok! Any ways we really gotta go now. Nice meeting you uncle and aunty! I am going to call Ronald today!
Uncle: Nice meeting you too heh heh. We will drop in home one day!
M: Sure Uncle!
In the car!
Me: Who is this Paul Augustine?
M: I have no idea!
Me: And Ronald?
M: No idea!
Me: And you don’t know Mercy and Shibu either I guess.
Me: *shrug* Never heard of them.
Me: But you gave him Dad’s phone number!
M: That was Bluebell Wine Shop's number.
(Meanwhile the only witness to the incident/accident is now enjoying freebies like some quality time with the accused's Thin 80GB External Portable Hard Disk Drive with over 4000 MP3 songs...tara rum pum pum. Currently listening to an all time favorite of mine Summer Wine )