Hello friends! I am right now in the fair city of New Delhi. New Delhi to the uninitiated, is the capital city of our country and is approximately 2 kilometres away from the Sun. It is a city that is singularly responsible for the woes of millions of school students. Yes dear people our collective misery called Indian History has a lot to do with this city. I mean if the Mughals had not woken up one morning and said "Lets conquer Delhi and make monuments for people to pee and scribble on", you and me would have been spared the hours we spent byhearting dates and names of the people with unpronounceable names like Illtmush and Alauddin Khilji.
The Mughals who invaded India were a highly cultured race:
Mughal King: Mantriji please start the construction of the finest monuments known to man across my kingdom!
Mantriji: You are such an art connoisseur alampanah. Generations will remember you for your contribution to the art and culture of this great country.
Mughal King: Art connoisseur? Wots that? I am merely adding to the History syllabus of the NCERT duh!
Just imagine if the Mughals had not conquered India! We would be a land of uncultured History Text bookless people. What bliss!!
Places I have visited in Delhi so far:
Lal Quila (Red Fort): So called because it is "red" and it is a "fort". Besides Shahjahan did not want the uncultured Indians to look at it and say “See a large building, let’s go pee and scribble our names on the walls”. Shahjahan in keeping the grand Mughal tradition of making Silverine study as many dates as possible in her History class, made sure that this fort was started in 1638 and completed in 1648. ( He wanted to construct some extra dates err...wings in 1650, 1653 and 1678 but much to the disappointment of History teachers he ran short of funds. He however made up for it by starting work on the Taj Mahal in 1632 and finishing it in 1648. )
Qutub Minar: This monument was made by an unpronounceable Mughal King called Qutb-ud-Din Aybak. (Warning: Please do not attempt to pronounce his name at home. Only professionals trained in Urdu should attempt pronouncing this name. Complications in the form of twisted and knotted tongues have been reported from History students.). Qutub Minar was a favourite place for people seeking H1 Visa to Heaven. The authorities have now strictly limited Visa applicants to heaven. Qutb-ud-din died accidentally in 1210. But before he died he spent many an agonizing hour wondering why he made the Qutub Minar.
Old Fort (Purana Qila): This was constructed by Mughal emperors Humayun and Sher Shah under a joint funding agreement. Due to a loophole in the contract the two squabbled over its name for many years. It was variously called "dilpanah" and "shergarh" and “Jhumri Thalaiyya” . Peace was restored when Humayun slipped from a steep staircase and died.
Tughluqabad: This monument is an History teachers delight. And why you may ask....just read on and see if you can guess why?
Tughluqabad is about 8 km from Qutub Minar. It is the 3rd city of Delhi and was Ghiyas-ud-din Tughlaq's capital in 1320. This fort has 13 gateways and has a circuit of 4 miles.
Humayun's Tomb: This was built in anticipation of Humayun's death by, you guessed correctly Humayuns wife.
Safdarjang's Tomb: I know what you are thinking and you are absolutely right! The Mughals were not very original in naming monuments. Safdarjang's Tomb is one of the last examples of Mughal architecture. Thank god!
The Mughal empire fell during the mid-18th century due to the extreme heat of Delhi, cutting short History text books by at least 5678 pages. As a last act of defiance the Mughals handed over their monuments to The Indian Archaeological Society. The Indian Archaeological Society recently released a book to fund its restoration projects called “How to preserve monuments from the ravages of Time and Uric Acid.” The book is not selling very well.
As you can see by the post above I did not do very well in History in school.