Sunday, May 27, 2007

Road Show

*thud*

I closed my eyes as my brother M hit an old but well kept Fiat from behind! The Fiat stopped and out came a greying gentleman to inspect the back of his car. The following is the exchange that happened soon afterward.

Ungle: You hit my car!
M: I am sorry but you braked suddenly uncle.
Ungle: I didn’t brake suddenly. You were speeding.
M: Absolutely not!
Ungle: And who is this girl?
M: That’s my sister.
Ungle (turning to me): Young lady please tell your parents that your brother is a menace on the roads!!!
Me: heh heh they already know errr... I mean ok Uncle.

The-menace-on-the-road goes out to inspect Ungles car. Upon inspection it is revealed that we will need to import a high resolution Megapixel Digital Microscope to detect the scratch Ungle is claiming to have been caused by our car. Now Aundy comes out of the car. Aundy is suitably incensed.

Aundy: You young people should have some manners on the road. You think you own the road!!!

(Spots the rosary hanging from the rear view mirror)

Aundy: Malayalee aano? ( are you Malayalees)
M: Adhe! (yes)
Ungle: What is your father’s name?
M: *tells the name*
Ungle to aundy: Idhu nammude Mathiachande alian aano? (isn’t this our Mathew's brother in law?)
Aundy: aayirkaam! (maybe)
Ungle: Are you Mathew Padamadan's nephew?
M: Never heard of him
Ungle (turning to Aundy): This must be some other people.
Ungle: From which part of Kerala are you from?
M: Kottayam
Ungle to Aundy: Do we know anyone there?
Aundy: Susande mole kettichidhu Kadanadil alle? ( Isn’t Susans daughter is married to someone in kadanadu)
Ungle: hmmm are you related to Fr Sebastian?
M: Which Fr Sebastian? We have many Priests in our family!
Ungle to Aundy: Achchande veetuperu endhanu? (What is the Priests surname?)
Aundy: Kinatukkara!
Uncle: Yes Fr Sebastian Kinatukkara!!
M: Never heard of him either! Err... We need to go Uncle. It is getting late and we have a function to attend.
Ungle: Oho! So that was the hurry yeah? You are going to a party...to get drunk... and ram some more innocent vehicles?
M: I wasn't hurrying uncle besides we are going for a First Holy Communion!
Uncle: Don’t argue with me!! I am a retired army officer with grown up children you know! Give me your father’s number!
M: 123456789
Ungle: I am going to call the cops and then your father and .....
Aundy: Are you related to Paul Augustine from Kanjirappally?
M: Which Paul Augustine?
Aundy to Ungle: Paul Augustinede veetuperu endhanu? (What is Paul Augustine’s surname?)
Ungle: Marannu poyi! Eerurikkal annu ennu thonnunu! ( I forgot. I think it is Eerurikkal)
Aundy: I think it is Paul Augustine Eerurikkal!
M: Oh yes I know him.
Uncle (beaming): Then you must know his second cousin Jacob Alapatt’s son Ronald?
M: Yes!
Uncle: He is my son-in-law!
M: Oh wow! Great to meet you Uncle! How is Ronald?
Aunty: Maybe you haven’t heard but Ronald had an accident and is hospitalised. Mercy our daughter is in the US. He had just got his Visa!
M: How sad. Give me his number Uncle. Long time since I talked to him!
Ungle: Do that it will cheer him up! *beaming*
M: And how is Mercy?
Aundy: Mercy is fine. She will soon be moving to Chicago. You must know her brother in law Shibu.
M: Oh yes I do. He was my senior in REC I think!
Aundy: No he is from CET...
M: oh ok! Any ways we really gotta go now. Nice meeting you uncle and aunty! I am going to call Ronald today!
Uncle: Nice meeting you too heh heh. We will drop in home one day!
M: Sure Uncle!

In the car!

Me: Who is this Paul Augustine?
M: I have no idea!
Me: And Ronald?
M: No idea!
Me: And you don’t know Mercy and Shibu either I guess.
Me: *shrug* Never heard of them.
Me: But you gave him Dad’s phone number!
M: That was Bluebell Wine Shop's number.

(Meanwhile the only witness to the incident/accident is now enjoying freebies like some quality time with the accused's Thin 80GB External Portable Hard Disk Drive with over 4000 MP3 songs...tara rum pum pum. Currently listening to an all time favorite of mine Summer Wine )

59 comments:

Wanderlust said...

Ha Ha ...God's Mercy has so many manifestations indeed.....
First to comment ...wow !!

silverine said...

Wanderlust: :) Just read your hilarious post! That was too good an analysis of Orkut! :))

Di said...

he he..mallus!!..u just might actually b related u know! :D I doubt anybody else on earth takes this veetu peru thing so seriously!

Maddy said...

That was a good one to start a sunday with, I laughed quite a bit...not loudly though since the others are still asleep...

Fleiger said...

Wow... so you are menace on the road unless you are related?

I am not going to say "I don't know" to anybody now :D

shruti said...

ha ha ..thats was good ..qucik thinking . did make the ungle's day by helping him find an association ..he will be telling this story for the next few sunday dinners to all his frds ..

Alexis said...

That was a really hilarious post. Typical uncle-aunty conversation. You really excel when describing such situations. And the phone number of Wine shop part was a really nice touch. Great post...

Asterix said...

Note to self: Steer clear of this sis-bro car ravaging team. If they didn't spare their "uncle" (on the father's side thrice removed), what chance do sharif drivers like me have?

~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~ said...

It does help being a mallu! Hope such things happen to me too! Only that the people whom i crash into happen to be in no way related to me! I wish i really knew some paul's n mercy's to save my skin and to keep my purse the way it was! Hate being the loser all th time, esp for small bumps at 80 kmph!

Browser said...

Ungle's gonna go "Bang Bang" and Aundie's gonne give you the "Boots". Nice one. Didn't know there were many Sinatra fans around

Princess Stefania said...

Brilliantly funny.
;)
This blog is a real treasure trove of fun, and brightens up an otherwise gloomy day.

Black is beautiful said...

I actually loved "ungle" and "aundy".... :D

shub said...

Brilliant! And I was hoping all the while that he'd do exactly that! :D

fundoome said...

he he....there is a frnd of mine who also has a knack for accidents....last summer it was in mallu land. this summer it was in kgp. both times he was learning how to ride. now his status is "no more miles to go"

Neihal said...

hahahahaha

see I knew ur brothers were smart, do we still have the offer, the one of exchanging brothers ?

:P

Ajith said...

Call it another manifestation of six-degrees of separation :) .. I wonder if they really called up that wine shop :D

?bLeAk?!! said...

ROFL!!!!

Next time i know what tactics to use!!!

Armed and Dangerous with knowledge that counts...

Sunita said...

:) mallu christians are such suckers for 'vettuperu', I so agree.Enjoyed this one as usual

How do we know said...

hee heee!

Iceman said...

LMAO...

flaashgordon said...

way too cool !!Next Aundy would have thought of fixing u up with a nephew or cousin

Btw queer , i kinda know an uncle in Bangalore, ex-military who drives a Fiat..Will ask him if he had called up any wineshops recently

Divyaa said...

Commenting after a long time though I read every post of yours. This was a brilliant anecdote!

Jeseem said...

hey I seem to know a few of the people u mentioned :P

silverine said...

Di: Veetuperu is the easiest way to zero in on people :)

maddy: thank you :)

fleiger: You are learning fast :p

shruti: lol!! I can imagine that :))

Alexis: Thank you! :)

Asterix: rofl!!
grrr how mean! :p

abhi: You can become Abraham from Abhi if that saves you a few bucks :p

princess stefania: Thank you dear :)

black is beautiful: Wait till you encounter them in traffic :)

shubh: Thank you! :)

fundoome: hehe that was funny :))

neihal: Like I told you earlier, no exchanges after sale :p

ajith: I wonder too, but knowing old people aundy might scold Ungle for not taking down the number correctly :)

bleak: "Armed and Dangerous with knowledge that counts... " lol!

sunita:Thank you :)

how do we know: :)

iceman: :p

flaashgordon: Yeah matchmaking follows next :p

divyaa: Nice to see you again :)

jeseem: :p

stayingpositive said...

I'm still guffawing here !
Girl - you're a phenomenon.

Rockus said...

lmao!!!

Just the right lessons for a budding driver! :-D

suresh said...

While i m still searching for words of appreciation, i'd steel the previous commentor-posters comments n say i feel the same way -

I'm still guffawing here !
Girl - you're a phenomenon.

- My sentiments exactly.

Jiby said...

i loved this! coz of the way the new generation is putting to use a talent of the old...whenever an older mallu christian meets another i have been amused at how a little bit of background digging reveals blood relation, family alliances or mutual friends...ur bro certainly got the two buggers back in their own game!

Jay Sun said...

Nice :)

Mosilager said...

That was hilarious - I was also wondering when they would come up with a marriage proposal.

Sugar n Spice said...

My husband and I just luuuve ur blog.He was in splits with ur delhi monuments one.This one reminded me of friends from school.Really nice blog.

Amit said...

hehehe..its been a while..great to see you're still going strong! Keep it coming... :)

hope and love said...

:))
typical uncle and aunty..
great post a usual..

mathew said...

oops..quite late in here..was on a roadshow from tvm to kadanadu..


btw Fr.Sebastin Kadanadu is the third cousin of my mom' 4th cousin's neighbour who stays near St Mary church cemetery in Athirampuzha... ;-P

such posts are ur niche...howlarious..

zeya said...

I like your all the post. They are so humourous. Thanks for makign my day :-)

Zeya

silverine said...

staying positive: Thanks :)

rockus: In an accident remember never to lose your cool :p

suresh: Thanks buddy :)

jiby: When you cant beat them join 'em ;)

jaysun: Thanks :)

mosilager: Thank god that didnt happen brrr

sugar n spice: Say 'hi' to hubby willya!! And thank you so much dear :)

amit: Nice to see you blogging again. Liked your latest post on Chennai. You havent lost your irreverant style of writing too :)

HnL: Thank you dear doc :)

mathew: LOL!!! Thanks buddy, nice to see you back. Hope you are painting Tvm red!! :p

zeya: Thank you dear :)

kaa said...

the post was awesome :)

Sameera said...

4000 songs! wow
nice post silverine!

Sreejith said...

rofl... these mallus and their veetu peru, i tell you, make for great topics to blog upon :)

Admin said...

You should think about using blogLinx for your blogroll. It's available at http://bloglinx.bravehost.com

It doesn't require any pinging!

EspritNoir said...

man...u gotta love mallus...! cheers, to you silverine...

Praveen said...

LOL, most hilarious blog i have read in a long time, son did ungle and aundy make a visit to your house? :)

Da Vinci II said...

see thats mallus...you can never tell how u get connected..or can take advantage of a false connection too hehe...

Anonymous said...

anju you are at it again...like in college you never fail to make me smile.

Bhanu

G said...

Straberries, cherries and an angel kissing spring...

Please tell me you've heard the cover sung by The Corrs and Bono. In case you haven't, please search said Ext Hard Drive for it. If you still can't find it, indulge in some Jack Sparrow and download it immediately.

The rest of the post was funny as hell too!

Good stuff.

Sanjay said...

I hereby decree this post cursed.

Had the good fortune of escaping "contact" for the last 3 yrs (at least)

I read this post and bang my car twice in 2 days. Does somebody see a connection?? Did others have the same experience?? Has Siverine cursed us all??

Fleiger said...

That's one of my strong points... Learning fast...

I mean, I learn so fast that on the first day of my training in my company I knew how much I was going to score on my final exam (give or take 50%) ;)

Samudraa said...

lol

lekha said...

good one there!:)

Nanditha Prabhu said...

new visitor th ur blog.....awesome post .. couldn`t help smiling!:-)

david santos said...

Thanks for you work and have a good weekend

nilesh747 said...

Nice posting!
http://gonusangtine.blogspot.com/

The Black King said...

Haha.aa... maybe perhaps roaming about with the full home address pasted on the rear windshield will put us beyond speed limits :)

silverine said...

kaa: Thank you :)

sameera: Thanks :)

sreejith: Let me know when you blog about it :)

admin: I will stick with Blogroll for the present.

espiritnoir: :)

praveen: Thanks buddy! No they didnt drop in :p

da vinci ii: True :)

bhanu: Nice to see you here. So when you gonna let me see your blog machi?

G: I have heard that song, in fact it is in my bros collection :)

sanjay: So you had a close encounter of the fourth kind? ;)

fleiger:lol!!!

samudraa; Nice to see you back :)

lekha: Thanks :)

nanditha: Thanks for dropping by :)

david : Thank you.

Nilesh: Thanks!

black king: Thats an awesome idea :)

Libu said...

Lady where art thou!!Its too long a wait for a new post :(

If I tell ya, I'll have to kill ya said...

typical indian style re. it happened yesday with me and hubby. we were with my aggravating visiting uncle and aunt showing them around toronto. suddenly they started shouting as they met some long lost friends of theirs in the market. those friends started shouting too. torontonians must ve thought of calling 911 but on seeing indian people, they realized waht had happned. these 4 ppl continued talking as tho the last 7 yrs when they never met each other, never happened. on learning that hubby is from toronto, the new uncle said "oh i have a sister in ottawa". not familiar with indian behaviour patterns, hubby just said "oh" which dissapointed uncle sooo much. obviously he thot having a sis in ottawa was a personal achievement!

ANYWAY, YOU ARE TAGGED!!! THE FIRST KISS TAG IS UPON YOU. YOU HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT....YOUR FIRST KISS!! THAT WASN'T TOO COMPLICATED EH?? GO FORTH AND COMPLETE!!

Bullshee said...

Alright!!!A mallu with a sense of humouR!!mone dinesha, kallaki!!er....molle dineshi,i mean.....

Mwaha ha ha...this blog is getting fun....expect my comments all over the place!!

Adheeth said...

hey good one!!! similiar versions have happened in my life :D

Amooma said...

ur brother is indeed ur brother. were u in the acr all thi time? didnt u contribute to the conversation ? catch up with ronald's in laws and stuff?